Stale Life
by ADojo
Summary: Lapis Lazuli owns a bakery and is looking for a roommate to share her home with, Steven introduces her to Peridot and they slowly learn things about each others life. Peridot figures out the harder times in Lapis life while she gets to see the Daily stress of Peridots. The story also has many other characters also getting into relationships for better or worse.
1. Introductions

She brushed her dark blue hair that turned black as it went to her roots, she pushed it towards the back of her head as she looked in the mirror. Adjusting her gaze down to her lips put into a stagnant resting face, thinking how she looked like she was bored, amused her slightly.

"Hey Lapis, hey Lapis," she heard a voice full of life to a childish degree that was quite sweet to her. Pulling the door handle downward to reveal a large spacious room with a large flat screen television on the left and then an open kitchen on the right with a young man standing there.

"Hello Steven how are you doing today," The blue haired women said as the man started looking over at her. He slowly brought his hand through his short curly hair that kept the same color as his eyes dark brown.

"Well I heard you maaay be looking for a roommate," emphasizing each word as if he was a phone salesman. Steven was a couple inches shorter then Lapis so looking down to him with his lively voice only enforced the image of him being a child in Lapis' mind quite a bit more.

"Well yeah, Steven I've told you that several times since you seem to know everyone." Stating this as a matter of fact and slowly tilting her head in anticipation for what the young man would say.

"I don't know everyone I'm just open to being any ones fri-," Lapis wanted to cut to the chase so she cut him off.

"So what's the news Steven?" he looked up at her looking almost confused.

"You see," he began looking at his feet slowly moving the tips of his right foot in a circle. "There's this girl named Peridot that is looking for a home and could also afford rent since she works at a high end programming place, she also wouldn't be that noticeable because of that." He kept rambling on not looking up until his final words. "So I thought it'd help both you guys out."

"You seem like you're hiding something," she questioned knowing very well that somewhere behind those innocent eyes was a scheme. As she finished her sentence he brought his hands up along with his smile.  
"Whatever is it that you're talking about," his gaze subtly looked around in large circles knowing he had been caught. "Are you free later today around four o'clock I can bring her over and some other friends so we could have a good time."

"Yeah well I need to leave for work now anyways the café isn't going to open itself," slowly walking forward briefly patting Steven on the shoulder while she passed by. Steven has been there for her since high school when she often tried to sneak off to be by herself he'd find his way to her. Accepting him as her best friend, they only grew closer it had been eight years since that freshman year.

"Okay I'll be seeing you later," racing past her as he finished the sentence he spun in front of her to snap his hands then pointing at Lapis before racing away. That dork she thought to herself but it did always make her smile seeing him do things like that.

Just below her apartment was a café she worked at. It was very plain had a nice red door while the walls around it were beige. The red was bright enough it looked like a constant reminder of Christmas. Once inside it was full of natural light and gazed onto the beach, the natural light came from the windows that seemed to cover eighty percent of the walls towards the door.

She worked there with another girl that went by Sadie they would switch off who would come in early in the morning and start crafting all the bread. Making it so that the other one could come in closer to eight and mainly just get it presentable for customers. Four days of the week they would have to work alone since the business didn't make enough to support more workers.

Her day went by quickly and she loved it in her bakery, it was constantly filled of the smell of fresh bread and whatever she created she could smell it add to the flavor and mood of the three room store. She also had to survive the last month off the bread left over with no roommate to help ease the pain of rent.

As the day came to an end she slowly started turning off all the lights, her eyes would always get distracted with the sea. Often in the warm summer days she'd shut down the shop early so she could grab her swim attire and swim the remains of the day left. Often this would ruin her next day with exhaustion. Snap out of it she thought as she forcibly tore her gaze off the ocean.

Slowly leading herself out the door staring back across the counter before she left. Bread splayed across the glass counter, maybe bring some of that back for the party, it's the least she could do. As the thoughts crossed her mind she lunged back into the store to throw them into their largest bag. Racing out of the store and to the side of the building where the fire escape that lead to her room remained.

Her house was on top of her bakery and was in a small rent to own business situation. The metal clung close to the wall with only a foot and a half wide gap between the concrete wall and metal bars. It's kind of weird how the side of this building is brick while the front doesn't appear that way at all she thought stomping each foot up.

"Hey that's not fair," a burly voice came barreling down towards lapis. It was not intended for her let alone the neighborhood but it seemed windows couldn't stop it much less the open volume of air around her. The closer she got to the top the more the sea of voices grew. She knew each of them or so she thought.

Raising her head just above the metal flooring outside her front door the blue haired girl looked into the house. A large body was throwing its appendages with a lot of dramatical flare while chasing around a shorter person seemingly in a dance. It was more likely that Steven was messing with the giant that was jasper. While a short girl with blonde hair stood along the side thrusting her hand out pointing at Steven.

"Arrrrrg, Damnit Steven it's not like that she just seemed lost and I thought I could help." As the shouting continued Lapis saw her chance as Jasper turned towards the other side of the house chasing the image of the brown haired kid. Slowly lapis sprang up to the door creaking it open gently and dropping the bag of bread just inside the door. Slowly gaining speed as she drew closer and lowering her body once it was behind the brick wall of a person.

"How dare you break into my house, wretched beast," Lapis yelled while jumping on the back of Jasper. The mountain began to rattle its large shoulders with the thin strings of Lapis' arms over them. Stars could have been placed in Stevens eyes as he watched the event unfolding.

"Why am I always the bad guy," Jasper calmly stated glaring at the Lapis hanging on her back. The face shown behind her was blank staring forward as she was easily carried. "Also what's with that goofy face," while finishing the sentence another force was applied on the large woman's legs.

"I'll help you fend off this creature Lapis," Steven yelled as he wrapped his body across the tree like legs. Jasper slowly peered down at the added weight to her legs. Steven started applying more pressure each moment, he was actually quite strong just on the shorter side of things. Lapis felt Jasper beginning to falter a little bit as she drew in a breath.

"If it's to save Steven then I shall trap you with me. You shall be stuck with me forever Jasper," Lapis started off quiet but gained volume as if a tornado drawing close. She dropped off her back and jumped back on towards the couch. With Stevens extra force her body started to topple as they dramatically fell onto the softer surface. When they landed their momentum didn't seem to stop as the edge of the couch started heading towards the ground.

Finally falling back on itself the blue haired girl let out a breath since their momentum almost but didn't knock over the couch too. Now laying on top of Jasper who had long white hair and yellow looking eyes staring back at her. Pressure began to form around Lapis' waist pushing her off the larger girl but just straight into the air. Then leaving her there elevated.

"You're going to scare off your new guest you know," Jasper said pointing her eyes and nodding her head slightly to just ahead of the couch. As Lapis lifted her head she saw the blonde and registered the sounds coming from her mouth. The blond was laughing manically, with a loud nasally voice and her hands wrapped around her stomach.

"I think she appreciated our acting," with a smirk and tilting her head away from the woman still holding her up she felt she had won. With that action it seemed Jasper was through with her as she slowly set her down onto the couch while she shimmied her way off of it. Now with her body resting on the grey couch that wore many lines sown on to the carpet like mane, she realized she should probably introduce herself.

After briefly getting up and acting as if she was dusting herself off the blue haired girl gently left her hand out in front of the blonde girl standing below her shoulders height.

"Sorry for not introducing myself yet, hi I'm Lapis Lazuli," she said mixing in a little bit of joy into her words. The blonde traced her body with her eyes until they ended up meeting her dark blue ones too. While the blue eyes of Lapis had unintentionally looked over the girl in front of her she wore a large green hoody with black jeans that hung a little bit loose.

"Ahem," clearing her throat as she placed a fist just below her jaw and slightly hitting her chest. "My name is Peridot Diamond and have been informed that you were looking for a possible roommate," as the sentence drew on the short girls enthusiasm dwindled. Grabbing each other's hand with a brief light shake. She began to look down at the Mrs. Lazuli's feet. "This information was acquired through Steven."

"Pleasure to meet you and yes I'm looking for a roommate but don't feel pressured or anything I mean we barely know each other." She would have to remember to talk to Steven later about this, while she was looking for a roommate she was looking, not desperate for anyone and this girl seemed to be quite straight forward. Drawing herself away from her thoughts she looked back to the entrance of her house. "Also I brought home some bread so feel free to dig in guys, I'll grab us some napkins too." Saying as she brought herself away from Peridot.

Steven yelled out a loud "yay," while others shuddered from the sudden volume change Jasper just shrugged it off and started walking towards the kitchen. Lapis snatched up the bag and slowly brought it over to the table placed just beside the kitchen almost penetrating the cooking space. It was a large oval with only four chairs marking around it. While lapis set the baked goods on the table the seats didn't seem to gain owners. Everyone just stood around except one.

Looking back into the other side of the large room was the blonde sitting staring at the group as they poached the goods from the bag. She had her hands brought together twiddling her thumbs as if she needed to be offered to join them. The green eyes caught Lapis once again she was staring at this blondes eyes and the moment the blonde noticed the gaze Lapis gestured her over. How exactly had Steven met this girl lapis thought to herself.

Jasper grabbed a bear claw and went into the kitchen just to lean against a comfortable corner. Steven ended up grabbing a maple bar while shoving the bag over to Peridots face. "Bwaaa," Peridot retracted her body as if the bag was the sun to someone trapped in their room curtains closed. "I am fine Steven," turning her head away from the bag as she spoke with authority.

"How about you try one of the scones Lapis made these special," he said sweetly not leaving his eyes from hers. The scone extended out in one hand almost like feeding a wild animal. Slowly the blonds' authority left her as her eyes turned back. Almost dropping wide open she looked it over and within an instant she shot her hand out grabbed it and turned her face away.

"Wow, thanks," she said in a low tone that only Steven could hear in the room. A huge smile he wore as he turned back to the crowed.

"Let's play a game guys," Steven said loudly over the sound of silence that filled the room with the past few moments. After bringing everyone together he explained a game in which one person would name a characteristic or event and then they would discuss who it fit the most. Steven recently had really been into games that would make people talk about themselves for better or worse. While He finished up explaining Jasper got a bag from the other side of the apartment that Lapis hadn't yet noticed.

"Can we at least make this interesting," A bottle held in the large girls hand as she towered over the other three standing together. The bottle had writing across the front read as "Absolutely Vodku". See through with the writing on the front being one tint too dark to be cyan. "Each time you get picked as something you have to take a shot, Lazuli how many shot glasses do you have," she questioned.


	2. Friendly Fun

[The story will be updated every Saturday Next chapters a bit bigger than this so thought I'd upload this a little early. I don't really know how to do notes since this is my first fan fiction. Hope you guys enjoy]

"Uhhh Jasper it's only like five," Steven said as he traced his eyes around the room with obvious worry.

"Jasper you're such an alcoholic," Lapis said staring to the now center of the herd with a stern face.

"Hey you always drink with me I just thought we could liven things up even more," Jasper almost sounding defensive once she was called an alcoholic. "So how many glasses Lapis I know you want to drink up too." A smirk reentering her face with those last words sliding off.

"Alright I'll go grab us each a glass," Lapis said reluctant to get into a quarrel with her friend. Lapis did drink quite often with Jasper but with recent finances she hasn't gone out often or at all. "Make yourselves comfortable guys the couch only seats two people," calmly said as she opened the cupboard.

After grabbing the glasses she turned around to see Peridot awkwardly standing beside the couch facing her while Jasper laid across the whole thing. Steven was grabbing a couple of the chairs from the kitchen to place them along the other side of the room. Bringing the glasses Lapis pointed to a small table in front of the T.V for Steven to bring over to the three.  
"Alright so the rule is if you're decided on you have to take a drink since some of you are feather weights I bet, you don't have to do a full shot." Her strong slightly gruffly voice over powered the room. Steven and Peridot now drawing close to the table as Steven sat on the floor slowly pouring each glass on the table he set down full. "I'll go first, Most likely to be a prostitute," she said after those words Stevens face exploded with color.

"Hey that's a bit much to start the game isn't it," Steven said with fully bewildered eyes gazing at everyone. Lapis let out a small snicker this man was one of the oldest here and talking about prostitutes still bothered him.

"Well I'd say Jasper but people don't want to pay for desperate prostitutes so I guess me," The blue hair girl declared laughing at the thought of Steven being one. "That is unless Steven or Peridot want to make a case."

"Hey I'm not that bad, people just aren't ready for my kind of love," Jasper desperately said to everyone in the room. After a few moments of no one disagreeing but Steven looking a little bit hurt Lapis took her drink. She did the whole shot since it's been awhile since she'd been able to get drunk.

"Alright if we're going in a circle that leaves you shorty," Jasper rasped at the small blonde that hadn't spoken since she had the scone. As eyes began to fall on her, her head then shot up staring Lapis in the eye as she spoke.

"What is the point of this game also couldn't I just lie for myself," she said as she turned her face to Steven the only one with answers.

"Well the point is for everyone to get to know each other an," The boy was interrupted as Jasper started waving her hand around.

"Don't worry everyone will get more truthful the more we drink," she said smiling and slowly lifting her body to sit up. While looking directly at Peridot she started patting the other side of the couch. Peridots body seemed to tense up at the monster welcoming it to its cave but still caved into sitting next to it. "Now spill your question," Jasper said with a bit of a menace in her words.

"If I must, who is most likely to end up alone," she said as if emotions drained from her face as she said it. "I'd vote myself I don't seem to get along too well with people, they're mostly so irritating and not understanding. Also I don't understand them but it's their fault," Peridot started seething as her speech went on.

"Well your wrong Jaspers got you beat there," Lapis said looking down to the couch she was standing several feet from. "Ohh how she wishes that someone anyone would fall for her but when she tries and tries to get them she always ends up drinking herself drunk, then even her pickup lines can't hold her up." Lapis dramatically flared her arms out as she sullenly exclaimed her point. Jasper looked her straight in the eyes with visible seething rage as she downed her shot. "That's also revenge for calling me a prostitute," Lapis said gleefully.

"Alright well seems like I also get to ask a question, which of us would be the friendliest to a stranger," she lightly pointed her finger at Steven. He slowly picked up his cup while everyone around just stared. Lapis was right Steven was going to join them on drinking now it was just time to find out if the mystery girl would.

"That's just not fair Lapis," Steven said looking downward as he filled his face with his two inch cup. "Well if Lapis would like to play like that," Stevens's voice was gaining momentum as he spoke. That sparkle in his eyes appeared as if this was intended as more then revenge. "Which of us like, likes their own gender," Lazuli raised her hand to drink as she looked around Peridot seemed to be shaking with her hand up.

"I know Steven is aware of this so I can't lie but I am gay." Peridot coldly stated aloud to the group. Lapis seeing now why Steven wanted her to be his roommate. This was his master plan he was shipping the two people just meeting today. After Lapis had her revelation she looked over to Steven whose smile said it all staring back at Lapis.

"Well actually I am pretty damn gay Peridot," Lazuli almost having a hard time saying this aloud under these circumstances. "I mean I guess no more than someone who is full so if you are too we can both take a shot to that," curiosity got the best of her competitive side. Peridot stared back at Lapis wide eyed while she brought the cup to her mouth taking it all in. The burning liquid forced her to begin coughing in front of the group.

"I'm gayer," Peridot slowly pulled her gaze away from Lapis as she spoke those words softly. Lapis chuckled as she fixed her gaze back to Jasper sitting on the couch. The white haired girl on the sofa happened to be a bisexual and Steven was straight. They played the game for another good chunk of time with Jasper and Lapis often having questions aimed towards the other.

The night went by fast each one enjoying and slowly the more alcohol the louder each of them got. Peridot began speaking about as much as Steven if not more while Steven ended up getting a lot more touchy feely with everyone. He started walking around hugging each of them and this recurred several times an hour. While Lapis also got a bit happier with razor blade of doubt lifted from the wrist of her mind. Money. Friends. EX's. All faded from her, all that was left was the thought of now.

"Wehlll Peridot, no," Lapis started having to steady herself as she lowered her view to the blonde. All Lapis could think is how cute she was and how she wanted to pounce on her, often finding herself closing into about a foot before realizing that. "Tomorrow we'll, we'll, talk more about the mo, the moving thing," she cut herself off to refine her words. "Right now's not the best, do you have a place to sleep tthouuugh," words out the mouth game was getting harder for Lazuli but she was at least herself enough to try and find her guest somewhere to sleep. While Jasper was passed out on the couch she loved so much and Steven was snuggling her, that's funny she thought.

"Stevens has been good to me," Peridot stammered only slightly with each word. The blonde ended up drinking the least of the group while also being the easiest to get drunk which she was approaching pretty quickly if she kept drinking. As the game and night was closing however she stopped drinking altogether to refrain from certain incidents. "Buh I guess he'll be sleeping here," Peridot brought her head up to emphasize the end of her sentence but instead being quite a bit tipsy more so made her look like a bobble head.

"Well the second room is still good," Lapis' words were slowing down the further they got as she kept tracing over the blondes body. Nothing exactly stuck out for the blonde, the baggy clothes made it hard to see anything define but at least she had a cute face with a small amount of freckles bordering her nose. "Let me show yah," her on going observation lead her to her hand and in her state it seemed easy, she brought their hands forming a slightly numbed feeling. The alcohol had been giving Lazuli some troubles as blurs were overthrowing the dictatorship which was reasoning.

On the impact of touch Peridots eyes seemed to scan the blue haired girls which was swaying heavily in front of her. The light crescent smile upon her face could almost be viewed as sad. The only light in the area was the ceiling lights in the kitchen which as they walked to the other side of the apartment the light dispersed. A subtle grey scale was now all they could see around them with just ahead a stair case on the left and a cave like room in front.

"This is your room," the slight pressure pursuing each other's hand evaporated as Lazuli drew her hand away to make a large salute to the room ahead. The door already propped open with a pitch black body of air glaring back at them. With one hand reaching in and the rest of the body following the hand, Lapis ended up hugging the edge of the door as she searched for the light switch. The fake light filled the room as now portrayed ahead was an empty room with just a bed consuming the corner of the right side. "Night," shoving off the wall she made her way to the stairs with the blonde watching her exit.

"Night," Peridot said as she approached her room and closed the door. With a loud click she had reintroduced herself to the pitch black beast, without a care though. She had a good day and had fun with everyone while being a bit tired from the amount of communication but still.

The upstairs part didn't have any walls it was just a flat ground area that so happen to have a bed on it and the rest of her things. Few art supplies lay along the corners of the room while a canvas adores just past the bed on the right and the rest of the room full of tables and drawers on the outskirts a guitar, but mostly empty. Face first she fell onto her bed and much like the time she spent on that fall she spent awake. Almost instantly she began to face her dreams pitch black.


	3. Stubborn Love

The first half of the house seemed to be full of crashes while the end side soon after began to emit restlessness. As the blue haired girl rose from her bed she walked to the stair case to rest her arms along the wooden guard rail. Looking down on the rest of the house she saw Steven flat on his butt staring up at a seething Jasper. The first few sentences seemed to be lost to her but the spectator sport was just starting from the looks of both their faces.

"You don't just do that man I understand things have been hard but no," Jasper yelled at the man sitting on the floor, mixing the end of her voice with confusion. While Steven slowly raised himself off his rear along with raising his hands each second. His face pleaded for calmness as nervousness is all that shone.

"I didn't mean to I'm so-," Steven pleaded while Jaspers loud voice demanded to cut him off. Steven kept taking steps back while Jasper followed.

"I know things are tough but I don't like that touchy feely crap," Jasper exclaimed with open arms. A loud slow clap came from along the top of the house with a creaking door just below. Looking up towards the echoing noise she spotted Lazuli with massive bed head.

"Are you embarrassed to snuggle someone you're not dating Jaspy," Lapis' words drenched with mockery and her usual smirk when it regarded the larger girl. Audible from where the blue haired girl was she heard a loud inhale as Jasper tried to calm herself down. "You're flying off the handle a little bit and I need my beauty sleep, look at your face its bright red you damn cheeto," each moment only drew more life into each word she brought forth.

"I'm really sorry you know how I am when I'm drunk and it's been a little hard lately, "Steven said genuinely looking down at his feet as he continued on. While Jasper could get a bit loud while flustered she was a kind person. Looking at the kindest person she knew in front of her in such a sad way from something that shouldn't be a problem Jasper let out a loud sigh.

"I'm sorry for yelling, I got flustered," Staring off at the ground as the low voiced words were rung out to the air beyond her. Steven staring at the giant ahead with a similar aura around him, the mood seemed dreadful it was about time for the party to restart.

Flying down the stairs Lapis ran up to both them drawing her body back as her socks slid her right up to them. With the embarrassing stop yet neither one looking at her she forced one hand much above her height and one just below her height to rest. Upon both their heads she placed her hands with a gentle smile, she might not be good with others but she at least knew these people.

Thinking back on it part of the concern might have been for Stevens girlfriend, she was a really nice person but often heard stories of Steven getting friendly with people and made her worried about their relationship. Jasper has been single for a long time though and no way would Steven and Jasper ever have even a chance of getting together.

"Jasper just be thankful that Steven didn't have the mind set to sleep in his underwear then I'd really regret not getting a picture of this last night.'' With a playfully said sentence Jaspers head looked as if it exploded. Looking left and right and up and down Holding her head as she made the rotations the white haired girl was becoming more and more of a wreck with the thought.

"Shut it Lazuli," Jasper said before playfully pushing her away, which might not have looked playful since the blue haired girl slid about a foot away quite quickly nearly plummeting to the floor with the sudden force. The air seemed to be separated with that push as the three of them began to act normal again. With moments to spare before the door once again creaked with it closing as the blonde shuffled over to them.

"Good morning guys," ending that sentence with quite an emphasized s while rubbing her eyes said the blonde. Her hair was spiked in every direction, yesterday it was kept up in the front partially spiked and a little bit spiked out in the back while today it was a tornado that the vodka got to ruin too. Spikes along each side while the in between would curl into itself with the front being pushed down with one strand sticking up.

"Your hair looks like a god damn triangle," Lapis said with a lowered voice. She sounded serious until the end on which she began laughing with her face holding a smile instead of a smirk. The face of the beholder seemed to mimic a stone statue as it remained unmoved with a bored expression. Huge black bags were laid upon her eyes too, while the dark did bring out how lightly colored her eyes were she still looked like a mess.

"Shut it you clod," she slowly said while yawning towards the end of her sentence. Lazuli thought about making fun of her for using a word like clod but she found it cute and hilarious. Stretching her arm above her head and tightly closing her eye to reopen to all eyes on her. Peridots head had been throbbing since she woke up with an enormous amount of nausea. Feeling as if her innards boarded a plane and she got left behind.

"Good morning Peri," Steven bounced in place nudging Jasper with each bounce. Each bump slowly drew Jaspers view down like a tiny rabbit biting your ankles the look was annoyed and concerned. With the end of Steven's sentence the blonde visually cringed.

"Steven call me Peridot," Stating loudly while raising her head and placing a hand on her chest and as soon as it was brought up to her chest it raised once more to her head. Arching her body forward as the pain started becoming more vibrant with the loud voices surrounding her. "Darn this headache argggg," she continued the growl with her head lowered.

"I have medicine if you'd like it, also feel free to rest up more I have the day off so I'm probably going back to bed after I kick these two out." Lapis words were calm and quite pleasant as she asked, slowly placing a hand along the short blonds shoulder.

"Ahem, if it would not bother you then I'd like to partake in some medicine," Peridot said clinging to her more professional speech. While looking side to side of the two extras that seemed not to notice the comment of having to leave soon. "Also I probably shouldn't stay if I can get a ride home to Steven's so I don't have to bother them for one later." This time looking at the brunette boy as he started a conversation with Jasper about motorcycles.

Lapis had walked off to the kitchen barely able to hear the short girls comments as she shuffled through the drawer filled on the middle shelf with medicine. The top part of the drawer had three bags of bread with just the end pieces left and a thing of honey and peanut butter.

"If that's what you want sure but we still haven't talked about the moving in situation at least," she trailed off as she pulled a small bottle from the back crevice. "sober, I'm not too sure about somethings from last night." She finally finished her sentence and handed the two small white pills to Peridot who gazed at her hands before grabbing them then looking to the girls other hand… empty.

"May I have some water," slightly bewildered the short girl looked Lapis in the eyes to see a large smirk. Shifting her hands up the back of her head Lapis looked down at the girl before her with a slight giggle.

"Get it yourself," she said finally releasing her slight laugh. The blue haired girl even though sounding full of life had huge bags underneath her eyes. "The cups are in the top middle cupboard right before the microwave and just use the sink for water. This is so you can get adjusted to living here that is if you still want to." That smirk once again transformed into a smile as she spoke with the girl and Peridot wasn't quite sure why but she liked it. It felt as one piece of heaven was saying all of us can be happy for now regardless of the hard times surrounding us.

"Very well I can complete this simple task," Peridots words felt like each time she had to respond with equal energy and each time regretted her choice on speech. She wanted to talk more to them, it felt so easy when it was just Steven and after last night it felt easier to talk at least when this girl was getting on her nerves. Reaching the cupboards one crucial mistake was made that Peridot couldn't help, she was about half an inche away from being able to even open the cupboards.

Watching this spectacle Lazuli covered her mouth as she realized the trouble coming to be, with each small hop then groan from the blond came a small laugh from Lapis. Still with a little bit of care in her heart enough to reach for a cup for her she went.

"Peridot here's a cup," Lapis said clenching a small mug from the top and lowering it just above the small hands. "Your hands are tiny jeez," after looking at them she was slightly amazed at the difference between two peoples body. Then again the more she thought about it this is exactly how Jasper likely feels towards her. _Peridot should stand by Jasper_ the girl thought to herself as she slowly gave the girl in front of her room.

"I could have got it," lying she declared back to the group of people. Her voice low and actually her mind was quite grateful to not have to climb or anything too physical, her body hurt like a bitch. Turning her body over to the sink, it had a clean metal look with no tools for consumption laying inside it. On the right was a drying rack yet again abstained from having any items in it.

"Hey Steven can I drop Peridot over at your house later tonight or could you ask Rose to pick her up later," Lapis calmly intervening in the other twos conversation. Jasper stopped half way through what she was saying with her very animated jester staring at the now talking Lapis. Arms spread out like a bear that's not quite sure what it's catching besides air.

"Okay," Steven bounced with the question along with his smile as he naturally turned away from the more so frozen giant. "What time though."

"Seven should be fine since I plan on sleeping for many hours," with a light chuckle the final comment was made. The boy's eyes went from blue skies to the trenches as the blunette started pushing him away. "Now time for you guys to get out of my house," she firmly said while pushing Steven to the door with one hand and pointing for Jasper with the other.

Peridot stood there wide eyed as the party began dispersing without her permission. Thinking over the course of action that was happening in front of her. She decided she could stay, it would be beneficial for her to learn her surroundings and at the very least learn her roommate more. As the others took off with quite a bit of reluctance and force, the blonde didn't resist staying.

With the slam of the front door the blonde refocused on her surroundings. Lazuli was standing across the room laying back on the door with a lengthy sigh escaping her lips. It sounded as if life was quickly fading and each millisecond of the sigh were years to her. Her eyes traveled from the floor boards of the room to the creak wavering beneath Peridots. Gazing back at the bluenette captured in each other's gaze the lines under her eyes were still prominent and without the heavy smile they were capturing.

"Feel free to do what you want but like I said I'm getting a couple more hours of shut eye." Lazuli slowly pushed herself off the door with a dreary step forward before her confident stride started back up again. "We don't have internet because I couldn't pay that bill same goes for T.V. but I do have a laptop over in the corner of the living room along with some other stuff. You could shower if you want the Towels in the bathroom are clean. Or get some more sleep right now I have a bit of a headache I just didn't want to bother Steven," She said pulling a similar container out from the kitchen cupboard.

"Very well I shall keep myself preoccupied until you awake," looking at the two slim feet ahead of the blonde she noticed them unmoving. Another few seconds go by before she brings her head up to match the eyes ahead of her. Like a trance using the buzz from lack of noises as a soothing back drop to their minds. Dark blue with a smirk and lowered eye brows, looking passively sad reluctant to change it. "Lazuli," Peridots words slid out in a low questioning manner.

"Sorry, I'm going to sleep now ill set an alarm for an hour or so," with that footsteps slowly lead away as the short girl remained standing in the kitchen. Moments pass by as she begins to feel unoriginal with a similar idea. A headache and the feeling of getting no sleep along with the end of sleep getting disrupted from yelling, she was ready for a couple more hours too.

Once more dragged by her own will into a room. This time a bit more cautious of the feel of everything around her. The walls were a light blue almost white color reminding her of the sky as she slowly approached the bed. The room kept its soft feeling as the bed fell around her body. With shoving the blankets over herself she was relaxed and quite susceptible to sleep. Vivid scenery continued to follow her as her breath evened out to a slightly slower pace.

With a slight discomfort of what probably was over a couple hours of sleeping on a brick as in the large touch screen phone left in her pocket. With an exaggerated exhale as the bright screen glares into her eyes it shows a picture of the blonde in an ugly yellow Christmas sweater. Along the sides of her are lights and other people dressed similarly. On top has large numbers spelling out the time as 2 pm.

Out in the living room Lazuli was laying across the couch with a small magazine in her hand, the magazine had various baked goods splayed across the cover. Slowly brought down to her stomach as footsteps came down the house, echoing like a ghost with barely any weight behind them. The noise might have went unnoticed if the house wasn't accustomed to silence. A similar look from before as the blonde still had the uncontained bed head the only difference were the eyes that lay beneath did not harbor as deep of bags.

The change in appearance was quite a bit different though for the bluenette for she had fixed her bed head and put on a fresh pair of clothes. Covering her torso was a dark blue t-shirt while her legs were fully covered with well fit black jeans. Eyeing up the hallway their original plan seemed it'd finally happen only a day late. Things going according to plan that quickly would probably be a first for Lapis.

"How did you sleep," Lapis casually spoke while placing the slim book on the table a couple feet away. Sitting up while placing her hands intertwined in her lap.

"Fine," She said nasally with dregs of lifeless in her voice. No longer carrying nearly as vicious a headache but she still wasn't a morning person nor an afternoon person. "So shall we discuss the living arrangement?" Looking down on the couch with a single chair nearby there was only option. Sitting across from Lazuli gave a nice straight forward view of each other for the discussion.

"Sure," she said visibly startled by how straight forward this conversation was going. "Well rent would be 500 dollars a month and any problems with the house you would come to me. It's honestly going to be like me being your landlord is all, so don't upset me and we're good. Electric and water don't worry about it, if I need help covering them I'll ask but I already have to pay a lot for the shop downstairs."

"How exactly does that whole shop thing work by the way," Peridot quickly interjected out of curiosity. Lapis had noticeably started fidgeting with her fingers while talking about this.

"It's just a bakery I started a few years back that is my job," Lazuli said calmly staring back with a blank face.

"How did you start that at such a young age," The blonde said quite impressed with owning a whole business and house at such a young age.

"Well This whole thing is like a rent to own sorta, I kinda," Her sentence was slowing down with less confidence in the words. "Got this whole building in a deal with Steven's parents they bought this place when he won that lottery thing for some money. They wanted to move to a nicer place that they found and no one was willing to buy this place. At first I turned it into a part way Bakery while living with them and sold to lots of people along the side walk and such, it very quickly grew from there though." Peridot had been friends with Steven for a while and he never once had brought up this place to her.

"Now Greg isn't the best with money as I'm sure you probably know, He did kind of drown the first boat he got within three trips. Well after buying the new house he lives in and fixing up that car wash to be also a repair shop, he kinda." Along telling this story Lapis' eyes had drifted down acknowledging her own hands, after a silence for a few moments she continued on. "Went broke and their family isn't looking too great on wealth, the house they own is expensive and so is the shop. Steven lives with them to help Pay for it and have a place to live, they also kind of rely on me paying rent though too. Greg has been so stressed out and I can kill two birds with one stone if I pay them a little bit more they have more money for themselves and I pay off the house sooner."

"Wow that's a lot of things," Peridot would have shuffled back if the chair wasn't catching each of her movements. That was a lot of information to just have been thrown at her with a dapple of confusion thrown into the mess laid out in front of her. The darker look that seemed to be taking over face of the girl on the couch, made her feel slightly uneasy.

"Yeah but you won't have to worry about any of that stuff that's just for me." She said bringing her eyes back up dragging her face back into a smile. "Since it'll be the first in only a few more days we could start by bringing your stuff over tomorrow or even for the rest of today," Confidence returning to her voice as if injected with life.

The conversation dragged on for half an hour or so as they began to decide on a plan. Both being weary as they acknowledge the fact of not knowing much about each other. In the end they decided that Peridot would return home for the day and gather up all of her things and tomorrow they would start bringing everything over. The 30th of June she would move over and pay all of her bills such as a safety deposit and rent.

With all of the things done that they had even met for, all that was left was for Peridot to go home and start packing, however Lazuli and her agreed to spend time until around eight hanging out to at least get to know one another while sober. A quick text sent to alert Steven she wouldn't need a ride and a text back full of smiley faces and hearts was received.

"So it's three thirty and I still haven't eaten want to go out for a bite," Lazuli said cutting off Peridot as she ranted about how Rose forced her to sleep at a reasonable hour. The blondes' eyes widen as her mouth hangs open thinking about the day. Hands dropping to her stomach as realization sets in, finally closing her mouth before responding with a bit more dignity.

"That would be acceptable."

"Pizza work for you," Laziness stained her voice making it apparent she didn't want to cook nor think too much about what to eat. Quite shortly after she sprang up from the couch walking over to the front door placing on a slim pair of dark blue slip on shoes. Waiting patiently with Peridot fumbling around the house in search of her shoes. Moments pass with the door wide open to another warm day splaying the light across the house through another pore.

Once exiting the door with quite a bit of elegance Lazuli prances down the stairwell along the side leaving shockwaves along the poor skittish feet. Peering back up to the top was slow movements looking as if they were fumbling over the nervous air they produced. With wide eyes and slow movements several minutes had passed by before the slow steps finally fell upon the concrete.

While following the blue haired at a distant they stepped inside the first floor of their home. This brought back memories of yesterday's food for Peridot and a daily life for Lazuli as she slid behind the counter smirking and winking at Sadie. With a quick open of the register and a twenty dollar bill between her fingers she began walking away.

"Hey you're not supposed to rob your own place y'know," Sadie said calmly watching Lazuli walk away. Placing her hands on her hips with a damp rag hanging along the counter beside her.

"You know I'm good for it, I'm just tired of eating bagels for a month straight and going to get some pizza with my new roomie. See yah Monday" As that sentence left her mouth Peridot felt a tinge of sadness with it, this has happened several times while listening to Lapis I guess she just felt bad. Then again she was a girl that was living with a friend that wouldn't accept money.

The day flew by with pizza here and re arranging some of the houses things to be accessible to both party's there, it had hit eight o'clock fast. A deal was a deal in Lapis' head and it was time to get the short one home.

"Hey I'll walk you home now, sound good," Lapis said calmly from the living room to the still messing with the kitchen Peridot.

"Wait, wait, wait, we're walking," Peridot voice rung loud across the house with the accusation of exercise.

"Yep let's go," calmly gesturing her hands to the door, while she didn't mind walking or anything like that she still didn't trust this area that well past ten at night.

Jaw wide open slowly closed into a stern face as she solemnly walked past the taller girl. The serious demeanor dropped quicker than a man carrying an elephant, after leading the charge down stairs. Once again timid steps could be heard but this time all Lapis would have to do to see them would be to look straight ahead. A sly smirk approached her face as she reached forward to touch Peridots shoulder before vanishing along with pulling her hand back.

"Calm down Jasper has been on this thing it's not going to break with us on it," Lapis reasoned with the girl ahead of her yet like rain on a rock it was going to take more than one drop to weather out her fear. The short girls' steps began to increase in speed with subtle grunts here and there per step.

They began walking down to the beach side with Peridot walking along the side of Lapis one step behind. Surprisingly enough only a few beads of orange caressed the sky over the sea to the right of them. The sand dipping down between steps with color drawn in from the light on the ocean while the closer it got to the side walk it turned into almost a dark blue. The right was ocean the left was town like they were walking the line between civilization and freedom.

The dark haired girl kept her eyes looking into the sky tracing it for any sign of alternative light, knowing the path ahead was just a long straight shot past the mountain ahead. The mountain could be seen anywhere in town and didn't go too high up but just enough to look like it was clipping into the bottom of the sky. Skylight wasn't able to reach that far however so the rocky patch just stole from the oceans depths with the deep blue falling along its sides.

Not a word goes by for over half of the walk with Lapis stuck head in the sky and Peridot observing the lost explorer ahead. The explorer seemed as if she was stuck in the twilight of happiness and tranquility. Walking around all day with this girl she knew that those long legs traveled fast but during this time they took their leisurely time. A break into the silence of wind and waves as the blonde started uttering words at her.

"Ahem, it has been a good day and I appreciate you showing me around and other sorts of things." Seeming a bit forced the further her words dragged on and still almost uncaught by the ears of the other one.

"Don't worry about it," once again just a calm response without much life behind it but plenty of kindness. Peridot felt it kind of odd how different she sounded talking to her, as if her lines couldn't be kinder yet neither could they be worse to a friend. _A friend I guess that is a bit of a stretch considering we've only just met_ , she finished her though gazing onward.

The mood doesn't shift as they night goes on the pleasant heat turns for a slight chill, The mountain now obscuring the town along the side and the sand in-between drawing closer to the waves.

"So I'm going to start heading back since the house is in view, I'll see you tomorrow after work. Just come in the Bakery tomorrow if you get there before I'm done and I'll hand you keys to unlock the front door." Those eyes had been shot down like Icarus before Peridot now to gaze back at her, leaving behind the now star filled sky. An hour and twenty minute travel to get here.  
"Alright well I do have work to get done too," losing the staring contest Peridot brought her eyes up with her statement. Slowly the girl in front brought her hands above her head with a long stretch pulling her head backwards.

"You can do yours whenever you want thought right, since you work online." She questioned now gazing back down with curious eyes.

"Doesn't mean I want to catch up on two days and move in all at once," a drop of annoyance sputtered on to each word.

"Well anyways I'll see you tomorrow I'ma run back now," peeling her head in the direction they once came from. A long beach route covered in a deep blue as if space was now crashing into the ocean leaving sand as the cold path.

"Run," Peridot questioned with a concerned look on her face as if the several mile walk wasn't enough. Lazuli slowly turned her body back while stretching her back and sides to finish off their conversation.

"Yeah the walk here was too easy and I have to stay in shape to keep this killer body," With a flash of her smile barely visible in the dark and more so pronounced in the life participating in her words. Not completely aware but questioning was whether Lapis winked at her while saying that or if that was just the dark playing tricks on her while she was looking. Steps became louder then quiet as a distant noise of life was pushed out for the darkness with the only light on her back from the house. She hoped that she did wink, maybe a step away from their awkward friendship.


	4. A Restless Wake

_A door slamming shut, fresh tears and apologies._

 _A slap a kick and a scream._

 _"You're no daughter of mine leave me alone"_

 _Blood running down the side of my face._

 _Slowly drawing my hand up reaching for something._

 _"I'm sorry."_

 _Eyes blurred, voices are muffled in the deep blue room._

 _A slap a kick and no scream._

Tonight was not a pitch black cut in the life of Lapis but instead a tremor running deep to her bones rested upon and smothered by sweat. At least by herself no one would know that, that sweat could be rivaled by the amount of tears cascading her face. A rarity at best but unending at worst, was the life of any dream traveled by her recent years were a mirror of fear. She clenched her fists as well as her eyes with as much force as humanly possible while ringing her mind out of the debilitating fate.

"I'm so sorry," was the last call of the night. Time faded into the noise echoing across the room at 5:00. An alarm set to bring her back from a sleeping state used for something different this time but a similar affect. Day dredged on as if muddy boots were attached and each step was on quick sand. First came washing up in the shower trying to forget the occurrence of last nights dream. Second work with a series of her cheap machines needing small repairs hindering her work. Today she would be alone.

Sadie had today off and would work Sunday so that Lazuli could have Sunday off, they usually traded off weekends or each got one day of the weekend depending on how either one of them felt. Some weeks Sadie would say it's okay for her to take the weekend off and then usually give her the next one off to try and make it fair. She was kind and often saw when Lapis was feeling a bit more stressed or had one hell of a good timing to make those comments.

Opening the shop by herself wasn't very hard and only became difficult if several people came in and all bought out one item. That would usually happen to doughnuts since they are cheap and that way it's easier to show support for her. The whole town seemed to like her but it could also be pity, throwing that thought back to juggle with her other neglected thoughts. In half an hour the shop opens up with most products already put on to display or in the oven for moments to come.

 _First will be the fisherman who usually likes to get coffee cake and shout a bit, then mayor Dewy getting ready for the day maybe two doughnuts. Continuing on will be the older ladies that like to get out for early morning walks, scones. Mothers who just dropped their children off at school and also ones on their way to school, backwards. At last the regulars who don't like to wake up before 10 to get a bit of fresh bread,_ she finished her thought staring down the timer besides the oven.

She was right for over two thirds of it but the occasional curve ball here and there such as the fisherman getting a full loaf of bread to save for lunch. With each customer coming in around expected time it made planning when to take things out of the oven and prepare them quite a bit easier regardless of being alone. The store even at its busiest could be handled alone but out of survival they needed two people, some days it just helped venting when no one else was around besides the dust and Sadie.

Likewise Sadie had her own fair share of problems, it ranged from boys to even finding a job being a nurse since the town was already set when it came to that field. In a small town if you can find a good permanent job you were set but most of those were already taken away. Boy were boys difficult for Sadie, Lapis knew of one guy that made her go wild but also made her break down several times then of a consistent guy that was a bit on the weirder spectrum. Fighting for herself she couldn't decide whether to confess or ditch the first one but it was obvious she was happiest with him even if that love would end later.

Hour by hour more rights had entered the day, old ladies, mothers and then eventually her few regulars. With each moment worries lessened into forgotten, something great about having a business is you can always worry about that over your personal problems as three people enter asking for doughnuts when you only have two in the case.

"Hey Lazuli," shouted from behind the three children bickering at the front was a spike of blonde hair with her head peeking out. Through the windows of the shop was a van parked outside along with Steven shuffling back and forth from the front and back. With the short hand relentlessly waving in the back Lapis readjusted her eyes to the scene just ahead. "I'm here early can I have the keys," still shouting with the mere distance of a few feet.

"Sorry kids I only have two doughnuts but how about this I'll do a coffee cake slice for the same price for one of you," with a gentle smile matched by her words to the kids. While they bickered amongst themselves Lapis grabbed inside of her pockets to keys now drenched in flour. "Here," with the sweet face now turning bitter to the women rudely interrupting her business. A small toss to a barely visible catch with grunts of nearly a failure.

"Which one," continued the loud voice from behind the frantic children. With a large sigh the kids handed her coins here and there clearly not enough to pay for all the baked goods but with a gentle pull away and a smile she let them go.

"Here that's enough have a good day you guys," as she finished her words the kids just began to get confused. As taught by most things in life don't look a gift horse in the mouth as they sped through the doors leaving behind the still air of two people. "You know you could have waited for those kids to finish their orders it's not very busy," Lazuli said bringing her pointer finger and thumb to the bridge of her nose.

"That's alright it worked out in the end," With a light hearted smile before seeing the discomfort in the blue eyes ahead. Adding the finishing touch, "Ahem… I am sorry though," bringing her voice a bit low acknowledging Lazuli's point.

Another long sigh escapes her mouth before giving into the question, "It's the blue one." Once again reminded of all customers that enter her shop by the fact that she left, quite quickly. Even her regulars when they came it was just the usual talk before check out then a quick good bye. Just like a usual customer.

The summer heat began tempting the ovens to turn the entire back room into a living breathing hell with each open of the oven. Slowly turning the nobs to hit zero the Bakery was to be shut down now, or at least nothing more would be produced besides the residual heat leaving the ovens. A short little ring at the counter steals the attention away from the back. As she turns and enters the room with the brief sight of a man few inches taller with a long mane of hair.

"Hey Lapis uh, how are you," a brief hand sliding behind his balding head with nervous eyes gazing at the floor. The once brown hair now had strands of gray and seemed as if it wasn't nearly as full as it used to be. This man gave her the chance she was still living off of and what also ended up stealing away a lot of his own life.

"Hey Greg didn't expect you till tomorrow, but I do have good news," saying that with each word pampered with an awkward note. "I'll be able to pay more off the house comfortably," words dying along the way with the light smile staring back at her.

"Don't worry about it kid, we're doing just fine, I mean look the vans still running." Pointing outside to the van parked with nobody around it, _Stevens gone._ "All else fails I can just bail for a rock career with my son." That smile it could look like its care free because he forgets about his life problems quite easily when talking to others.

"I guess your songs were alright, I think Steven's were better though," it wasn't a full smile that accompanied her words but enough of one to set each of them at ease. Passing the eye of the storm as stumbled words spilled from her mouth, "Greg I'm sor."

"Hey we weren't going to sell this place anyways, no one here can afford it and no one wants to permanently move here," Greg quickly and forcibly cut Lazuli off. "They all just want to stay here for the sun and leave for the winter," leveling out the rest of his sentence with a sigh. "You're part of the family no one is mad at you, you can come by anytime you know… right?"

"I'm going to be shutting down the shop soon for the day, I'll help you guys move stuff once I'm done cleaning alright," Ignoring the conversation lying in wait. Moments pass with a more permanent view in her head of the tiles to the left of her before returning her eyes. Greg returns with half a smile and a face doused in awkwardness unable to finish the conversation.

"Alright I'll see you up there and if we leave before you show up, take care of yourself kid." A few more self-conscious gazes sweep across the room before the intruder leaves. _I'm sorry,_ the subtle words in her head reignite the pain of the morning as harsher intakes of breath and closed eyes rest. Ringing at the door bring her back to the waking world with a familiar face pressing forward on a march to the glass case ahead.

"Can I get your blueberry scone, two poppy seed muffins and a high five from my best friend," a small snicker from the brown haired boy in front of her. He was quickly reaching for his pocket till a slim wallet fell out caught by his hands that was encompassed by crying breakfast friends.

"Can you finally get a new wallet you've had that one since like sophomore year," she said while going along the case pulling out each item. Placing them into a small bag with a small logo on the back that shone as a wave leading into the words "white water." Shuffling the muffins in first to be followed by the softer scone with a light fold over the front of the bag and a slab of tape.

"Hey it was a very influential part of my life I happen to have three of them," He ended the sentence proudly as he stared at Lapis with his head slightly tilted up. "So is that a no on the high five," now dropping his face with huge puppy dog eyes that could make a child feel bad.

A light sigh, with a hand going up slowly to right past the counter, the distance made her have to lean on it a little bit to get close enough to Steven. The brief contact seemed to perfectly describe each of them as Lapis just left her hand forward while Steven jumped up emitting a lot of energy for a wind up high five. Despite all the power Steven put into it he clearly let off when they finally came in contact since it wasn't a painful touch.

"Alright Mr. Universe pay up, that'll be fifteen dollars since its coming for you," Lapis lowering her hand to raise her fingers together.

"But, but Lapis I only have fourteen dollars can't you spare me this once," Steven expressed sadly splaying his arms out dropping his eyes and mouth into a sad expression.

"Fine I'll let you have half the muffin for that," Lapis continued on adding a bit more force in her voice as they acted out towards each other. "Well for you I guess we could also do five dollars," with a questioning voice she splayed those words out for him.

"Deal," Steven said already knowing the price of the goods with the five dollar bill he had been handling since he got out his wallet. "So Peri is almost all set up she had like three small bags and that's it. I'm kind of surprised it always felt like she took up of my space than just three bags," Steven finished grabbing his chin looking a tad baffled.

"That's because when you have two messes on top of each other it seems like a huge mess, you never clean up your own space do you." A crescent smile with a friendly aura now was the perfect time. "I see why you wanted us to move in together though and I know your true intentions now." The whole mood shifted from a gentle tug at carelessness to a victim in the spotlight just ahead checking left and right for an escape.

"What do you mean," A familiar sight ahead was the boy swirling his toes looking down at the ground for something solid to cling to.

"You wanted us to get together, I know I don't go out much thanks to being cooped up in here or with paper work up there but I'm not looking for love right now Steven. It's not going to be like those days I dragged you to bars to help me look for girls that were like me." As the words dragged on his face turned into a smile even with being called out and no words came up to deny the rest of Lazuli's. "Once I get this whole thing under control we can deal with that but for now I'm not biting, she'll live with me and maybe we'll be friends but past that no."

"I got to go my dad and I have some plans to fix some stuff at the shop, so now that she's done setting up we'll leave it to you," Disregarding the claims laid out bare in the air. "Also who knows living with someone close and all that might just change your mind." Steven quickly finished his sentence as he left rushing the door closed behind him. Within just paying attention to himself he didn't notice a few customers trying to inch in before it was closed, he had to politely apologize before walking away. _What a clean getaway._

The rest of the day went well cleaning took only half an hour with a lazy eye towards the rest of her day. She closed it down this time at two today after finishing all the other small chores remained it was locked down by the time of two thirty. The remains of the day fell as uneventful.

Once again a bag of bread accompanied Lapis home for what seemed like the 29th time within a month. A slow open to the metal gate like door in front with the relief of being home without any more work to do in a day and anything that could be thought of as a job could be pushed back just one more day. An open room with a short blonde girl walking back and forth staring more than just daggers but also rockets at the screen laid on the small table in the living room. Small grunts and other low volume curses were secreted every glance away.

"Uhh Hi there Peridot what's going on," The bluenette said with pauses squeezing between each word.

"Just my dumb boss don't worry about it," she said low in a voice almost as if talking to herself. Each second seemed to speed up her pacing as if any second to take off into a full on sprint. "She doesn't even understand that 200 hours' worth of work is going to take more than a fucking week." Her voice was starting to escalate with grunts now adding in hair pulling to her Pandora like conversation. "And she had the audacity to say I wasn't working hard enough excuse me. I'm me I'm practically the best she'll ever get as a worker."

"Oka-," Lazuli had been cut off as Peridot halted with a large grunt.

"And this damn code isn't working," shouting as the sentence went on before running and tackling the couch. A full on frontal assault didn't even faze the couch as her body crashed into it the legs stayed perfectly where they were and didn't lift. _Crap I forgot to get a picture of Peri and Jaspy together,_ she thought while watching the couch. Giggles started escaping Lapis as she watched the odd scene of someone acting like a child, then again she didn't even know how old she was.

"Hey I got to go pay for my part of rent do you have yours," Calmly said unknowing if the beast was actually even listening. Part of her just expected a growl or hiss back and for it to run to the darkness, or more so hoped.

"Oh yeah," with a sound as if realization of something great occurred within the response. Quickly running off to the other side of the house towards her room with a slight stumble. Instead of standing up after the stumble however she continued to run on all four a sight that Lazuli couldn't believe nor stop laughing from.

"Here you go," Proudly holding out a wad of cash wrapped tight in a rubber band with the outside face of it being a hundred. "All one thousand for rent and deposit," with a smile as the girl ahead turned back to her laptop. Another low grunt was made.

"Thank you, I'll be back later don't destroy the couch," unable to resist the remaining laughs in her system thinking of the crash. "Also here's some bread," quickly knotting the top of the bag before throwing it at the curled up animal. With a bear claw in hand and an open door ahead it was a good day. Leaving behind the house with joy and no amount of bitterness for the rest of the day left on her tongue.

Gazing at the shop with the sun still high in the sky lacking any clouds to cover from the heat. Lazuli preferred it like that so that the beach wouldn't feel as if it was fifty degrees blow with a winter wonderland at the bottom. Greg's shop had two visible cars just outside of the shop neither one of them his, business must have been good this week.

The wash looked almost the same from the side but at the front it had to extensions on each side making a u shape. Along the bottom part of the u were cones to signal how to get into the wash from the center while the building it was connected to show another car inside and an assortment of tools splayed on the floor. The tools steely look contrasted against the beige of the buildings walls and bled out onto the street as if the building was drooling them out.

"Greg," Lazuli shouted while approaching the shop with her hands carefully cupping around her mouth. A few noises of crashing tools and nervous noises spewed from the open area.

"Lazuli," with a questioning voice clearly the man she had come here to see. "One second let me get out from underneath this death trap." Slowly body part by body part became exposed to the world around while he escaped the jaws of machinery.

"Seems like a good week for you, did you sabotage three people this week." The joke was spoken as plain speech almost as if she was serious. It seemed to have an appealing affect as Greg eyes widened with a shocked face.

"Hey I would never do something like that and you know it," with an overly serious response a little shocking to Lazuli.

"I'm joking don't worry about it, I have money for this month too by the way," Slowly unraveling the wad of cash in her hands. Counting it out Peridot did indeed pay the right amount and slowly she counted it out to Greg and handed over the money. "That makes us even and this month I even have some to spare at the start, time to eat real food."

"You know you didn't have to pay full months' rent when you didn't have a roommate we told you we were fine with that." He said those words with a waterfall of worry drenching each of the letters.

"I'm already in enough debt with you the sooner we can get this whole thing settled the better for both of us." Knowing he still had to pay state taxes and other things Lazuli planned to pay those back too eventually once she owned the place. It would be many years though until something like that, going with how she's barely left a dent in the cost since she moved in.

"Be careful kid you lose any more weight and you'll get blown away by the wind." Her body was in quite a slender build, it had a good amount of muscle but it also had deteriorated quite a bit over the years too. Ribs were now visible and while she felt skinnier then she'd ever been she also felt tired after her run the other night. _He's right._

"We'll I'm going to go get a large burger and fries and put on ten pounds just in tonight," Confidently said as she began to turn away. "Stop worrying about me Greg I'll be fine," The edge in her tone was sharp and a rarity only few would witness and he was a regular.

"I'll see you later Lazuli just take care," Sadness was the counter with a tone that could ruin a puppies bright day.

"Bye." With that she left and with her previous promise she succeeded buying a large cheese burger with a side of fries. Well that wasn't entirely true she got two just in case Peridot wanted one and if not she could save it for food for the next day.

Upon returning home a familiar noise was escaping the house, shrieks, grunts and shouts. Almost as if she had never left the blonde was pacing with wide eyes and colorful language. "I'm home," slightly bewildered and questioning she walked forward deeper into the den.

"Welcome back," with irritation apparent but also seeming as if repressed the blonde went and sat down by her laptop. Within seconds typing began to cover the room in noise leaving no room for anything else as if lightning possessed her fingertips.

"Uh do you want a burger," Lapis questioned as she slowly brought a burger from the greasy bag.

Moments passed by until a long sigh decapitates the silence. "Okay," Almost sulking as she once again stands up and walks toward Lazuli's extended hand. She took it without second thinking it, the blue haired girl was quite impressed she must really be exhausted to just take food without looking like a timid rabbit.

Slowly walking down to sit beside her on the soft couch staring at the turned off T.V. After setting down the bag she slowly goes over to bring out a DVD of an old movie and watch it beside the working girl.

The movie was nice and about some aliens trying to save the earth, along with her burger tasting quite amazing a nice amount of cheese and filling enough that finishing it was becoming unclear. Either out of curtesy or just alieved tension Peridot had stopped making all those weird noises once the movie started.

Half of the movie had been shown and wanting to feel more comfortable Lapis got up to grab a blanket. When standing she looked over to see that Peridot was watching the movie and quickly looking over to see Lazuli look at her she frantically went back to her computer. The few moments her eyes went from nice and kind of childish to stern once back on the blue screen. A nice large thin red blanket that wouldn't be too warm but just there for comfort was brought over.

With a gentle gesture Peridot lifted her laptop while she laid it across both of them. It was such a nice material, like the fur of a cat or something, it didn't really matter just something anything was nice.

The movie was coming to an end and Peridot had even closed her laptop and set it on the table, pulling her knees up wrapping her arms around just outside the blanket. Her eyes seemed to never leave the screen and rarely blinked, she looked so innocent. Finding herself staring at the stranger a bit much Lazuli finally pulled her gaze back to just the screen to finish the movie.

With a yawn here and there the small one on the other side of the couch seemed to be falling asleep. While the thought did interest Lapis to see the other one sleeping right on the other side it also felt a little wrong since she clearly had work.

"Hey Peridot now that the movies over I'm going to bed good night, I have to be up early tomorrow." With that the small body seemed to be moving around with a sweet tired gaze looking back at Lazuli. Her eyes a bright green that could draw the attention away from neon lights if it wanted and right now it did draw away from some lights.

"Damn I'm going to work on this code for a couple more hours then I'll probably sleep too, good night." Slowly drawing her arms up into a yawn before their eyes finally connected, Lazuli looked away quite shortly after while Peridot had a confused look on her face. _I must have looked like a bit of a creep, oh well._

With that and a little bit of walking and a familiar sight unfolding in the mind and eye sight of the blue haired girl she was at her room. A soft lull of her eyes singing a lullaby with a gentle tucking in she began to depart. _Pitch black._

Eyes raising open with the distant noises of continuous yelling and maniacal laughs. Quickly without the strain of being tired Lazuli leapt up from bed with the crimson lights of her alarm clock besides her showing the time of 1:00Am. _Are you fucking kidding me._

Lazuli went to the edge of the room looking down upon the blonde sitting along the couch now propped up with her legs and small light of a screen. "Can you please keep it down," Lack of any formality in her words with a dead essence to it.

"Oh Lazuli I finally did it, I found a short cut and will be done with some of the work a lot faster than originally planned." She wore a large smile splayed across her face as she looked up to her.

"Go to bed, It is one" with more of a stern tone and if there was any undertone it would have been a second serving of sternness.

"Wow it kinda got late fast, sorry Okay I will," With a kind of confused look she slowly closed her laptop.

Slowly turning away she went back to bed with only a few more hours till she had to get up, a mild question on her head how Peridot was working with no internet. It didn't really matter though she just wanted any extra sleep she could get and with that another dose of pitch black was drunken down by her mind.


	5. Observations

Day one of observations:

Work had been quite packed as the sun rises earlier and earlier so do the people. At the end of this week however Lazuli would be able to go out and maybe party with some friends for the first time in what felt like forever. She would just have to survive that week till then, having a weekend off because Sadie needed the next one off for some personal reasons.

When she had got home the blonde laid across the couch and with this being the second day of that it seemed as if that was her spot. _It really is a nice feeling couch at least._ Still on her computer if Lazuli hadn't seen her not there this morning she might have thought she never left. With a quick look up to Lazuli she then left back to her other blue eyes, the constant light of the screen.

"How do you do it," she asked the short one as if sitting still that long was nothing short of torture.

"Do what," asking back unsure of what she could even be commenting on.

"Sit at the computer for such a long time in a row also, how do you have internet?"

"I just paid the bill for one I was prescribed to while at Stevens's house since theirs is god awful and set it up over here, assuming that's alright."

Day two

"Hey Peridot do you have enough money to go on a shopping trip with me," came a voice loosely covering the room.

"Yeah I kinda had several months to save at Steven's so of course." The blonde probably had worked a steady 12 hours a day each day so far, maybe a break would serve her well.

With the trip to the store they had each spent roughly around fifty dollars on small things of food. Lazuli's consisted of greens and small amounts of sea food along with an assortment of quick fixes such as more bread for her. _Maybe it's about time to clean that cupboard out and let the seagulls help out._ Last but not least a case of beer, while drinking wasn't top priority for health it did help or at least felt like it did.

Peridots tiny hands carried a total of six plastic bags double wrapped, containing assortments of unhealthy choices. While instant noodles were something the blue haired girl had eaten plenty in her life it was due to the amount of money lining her wallet or lack of. An empty wallet led to a full mind she would often point out to Steven who would only drench his face in worry after hearing. Soda, pop tarts and, lots of other things that were instant or even microwavable, most of them made Lapis cringe.

"You know for someone that has money to spend those groceries look like pretty poor taste." Once again back to a formal tone but this time mixed in with a bit of a taunt coating the words like a cactus. Maybe a reverse cactus sweet on the outside but stung on the subject of the inside.

"Who needs good food when you can be efficient," Peridot had calmly responded with. Lately she seemed to be keeping her distant when it came to talking, maybe that's only because it was the same with Lapis either way she couldn't figure it out.

"Who needs to be able to cook when they can be unhealthy," a quick response with a friendly smile. Being roomies means it's better to be friends then strangers to each other Lazuli thought to herself. She knew what she was doing, unhealthy or not, denying it always seemed a lot easier then facing anything herself.

With another days pass Lazuli had escaped the world of work into the world of rest, with the living room being open to solitude for the first time in a while. The presence lingered on the couch as if a ghost to the peripherals of the blue hair girl as she constantly checked the couch.

While she did have work today her energy had not faded and rest seemed like a waste while the living room mimicked that and was wasted. Picking up after oneself is a rule laid down in the first conversation over the rent and other house such responsibilities. Saying it was all Peridots however would be a huge lie, the party they had along with the long days of work and fitting in relaxation really did some damage.

Rappers here and dirty plates there, it almost felt as if a game of hide and seek and the thrill of finding a plate would have the ritual of a groan of disappointment after. Plates weren't the main front of the assault on dishes however, that'd be the cups that gave their life for killing many brain cells that one night, and may they be cleaned in peace. The peace wasn't really there though since a laptop was blasting music at its max to add enjoyment to the chore.

While washing the dishes a mind can wander quite quickly and almost instantly for her. _Where is she?_ It kept coming to her head as though the few days she lived here proved to keep her hostage to no other life but here. Even the music she'd get lost in for few moments before her ship wrecked mind would capsize to curiosity.

As the chores were finally finished after a few hours and a bit of elbow grease a decision had been made with a clear escape. Blow after blow had landed on the door, as in two soft knocks on the room beneath hers.

A groan traveled across the doors underneath seizing up Lazuli's ears. "What is it," as if dead the words barely came out of the room.

"I'm making some food want some," A quick response to the lingering ghost.

Silence reigns for a few moments as lazuli quickly glances around her with a nervous air being emitted. "Okay," comes a low voice from in the room once again almost inaudible. Lazuli now being satisfied knowing the whereabouts without being found out prances off to cook.

Lazuli had been keeping track of Peridot over the past few days since she moved in. It was mostly curiosity not knowing what this person did or what their hobbies were all she really saw was work. Irritation rising up quickly and occasionally accepting an escape for a few moments along with a few things disappearing. Peridot had often stayed up late each of those nights and worked till past when Lazuli slept, occasionally waking her up.

This day would forever change their relationship however, not knowing this both of them got up and did their regular thing Lazuli worked as did Peridot. As soon as Lazuli got home a pang of guilt shot through her skull spilling forth to the ground mentally. The ghost returned fully tangible along with the endless streams of key smashing and grunts.

"Jeez you're always working," Lazuli said letting her guilt slip into the sentence showing the worry.

"Yeah, yeah just a busy time after this week I'll have plenty of free time," with eyes unmoving along with her words she sent back.

"Any good shows you know about," Questioning Lazuli turned on the television with static falling back on her eyes.

"Steven let me borrow this one series," Peridot slowly set down the laptop as she began to lift herself off the couch. "I watched an episode or two of it before I came over for the first part," taking a few steps to a small computer bag laying along the side of the table.

"What is it," The blue haired girl sat along the other side of the couch with a questioning glance to the blonde fiddling with the DVD player.

"Camp Pining Hearts," with a smug look she turned her head back. "A beautiful collaboration, bravery and love." Her voice had hints of joking around but also was still putting on the show. "I have the first three seasons, Steven says it's pretty good."

A short giggle and small talk as the show began to start. Within the first few episodes they began talking wildly with large dramatic responses to even the smaller parts of the show. As Lazuli expected Peridot had put away her computer to start watching the show with her. That made her happy as if the fact she could give her any sort of break was nice or more so it was torture to watch someone work so much.

A few hours passed as the show played on, they had a crimson red blanket splayed across both of them. While it was warm outside they also kept warm with their heated agreements on the topic of who should be with whom in the animated show capturing their minds. With having no cable for several months or so it felt, it was nice to just melt into the T.V for a day especially since she caught up on house work with the last couple days.

Lazy eyes had the curtains of eyelids closing on them as the day fell on, just like the sun being draped over by the night sky. Lazuli had been fine but looking on the small blonde curled up into a tiny ball with weightless yawns. It had probably been over three hours of watching and each moment she would place a small bet with herself when the other one would fall asleep.

Season one of the show came to a close with the title screen opening up showing the camp grounds. The show had been about a group of campers that competed in small, fun little games against each other and had shown plenty of romance. Along with the title screens soft soundtrack of the campers singing came a subtle constant breath. The adorable little ball of blonde hair and green pull over hoody slowly clawing onto more blanket.

It was restful and in fact finding herself in this situation she didn't mind and just enjoyed the peace for the both of them. Slowly alleviating the rest of the blanket to her and doubling it over on her she began to walk away. While she wasn't perfectly tired she also didn't want to risk waking her up due to some type of unfortunate event.

With the slow steps away a new voice entered the room uninvited, a loud ring came from the couches area of Peridot. The ring ached on for a few more moments before the blonde began to rise and Lazuli's heart dropped.

"Hello," Clearly dazed from her nap only few moments ago she questioned the phone. The voice responding wasn't clear from the distance the blue haired girl was but instead the tone was. With a loud voice and clearly irritation came a surge of panic on the blondes face. With her head constantly moving around scanning the area, as her eyes fell on a clock her jaw visibly dropped. A frantic stream of "sorry," and other variations along with a promise to finish her work were rushed out.

With eyes seeming to burrow back in shock and constant fear it was now understandable the constant hours of work. Maybe she does make a killing and more than half that killing is back onto herself. Unable to move she continued to watch this event and blindsided by thought Peridot never noticed her. Minute after minute of constant hushed yelling and hushed shakes that never seemed to end until at last the phone was put down.

Still then the shakes continued now with a directed attention elsewhere from the phone to the girl standing partially in the kitchen. Almost looking as if pleading for something not quite sure what the girl began to draw a hand up.

"Bosses, am I right," not as a confident stream of words but as a definite question to the events to what happened.

"That's not alright," small words came forth almost inaudible if it weren't for the awkward silence suffocating the room. With a guilty look down both of them sat in silence for a moment longer before she continued. "What gives them the right to talk to you like that," a fair question with a loss of words following each moment.

"Just how it is, they pay well at least." Eyes unable to look up to the conversation but small hands circling each other at a slow pace almost as if wading through the rooms' atmosphere. "Well I'm going to get back to work we can watch more of the show when I'm done with this week." Moments press on as disbelief is falling on Lapis. "Sorry."

The conversation was awkward and didn't persist very much longer it more so just consisted of one party staring while the other turned back to their work. One party on the edge of tears for the weakness they had shown while one was on the edge of tears from the weakness they saw. The frail the one who lacked self-esteem, the one who wouldn't look the same if not for the couch and blankets and bright screen now shining back.

One good way to fix the circumstances that she always relied on in times such as these was running, and like those other times she ran, and ran. The beach kept draining the heat from her body as the waves of wind kept taking. With that she kept pushing forward forcing her body to work harder, to sweat more to sustain the temperature more, to rely on itself more. Even if this stranger wasn't that well known to her she still saw the pain in her eyes and hell she didn't need that tonight.

Night runs were Lazuli's favorite with the stars caressing the worlds back ground and the only noise of the beach that met space along the edge. Without a care she could run forward and not even focus on her feet with the clear shot, only thing she would look at is the stars in the sky. Cloudless nights like these felt as if the world was a whole lot smaller from everything encompassing it.

Out of breath with ragged body movements she began to turn around, Cliffside roughly behind her along with any useless thoughts. While running was quite easy to her, sprinting was a whole other beast and when you can't get the same rush of adrenaline from something easy you kick it up a notch. To kick the curb of thoughts press every bit of energy to each footstep ahead thinking only of the placement of your feet.

With the surprise of her cool down jog actually making it back home she gazed first to her shop. The glass along the outside almost entirely reflecting just back to her, a girl with blue hair worn down to the black roots and a colorless approach. Due to the dark all she could see in the reflection were tones of grey matching each spot such as her pale face. Giving a quick look over herself, she felt good about her attractiveness but maybe a bit too much for how thin she'd gotten.

Finally with a calm mind she looked up to the rest of her home, a small blue light coursing over the window facing the alleyway. Closing in the blur of light slowly began to resemble the screen in the living room once again. Only few words were spared before another descend into the black parts of thought.

"I'm going out with some people tomorrow, want to join?" The voice had lost a bit of life not from the run but from the mental marathon thinking about this situation.

"Sorry, can't, I have to work," unmoving from the screen the blonde said dragging few strands of hair out of her face.

Just like that the day ended for the blue haired girl, a peaceful bed easily fell into. Small talk rehearsed along with the scars of previous abuse reminded by the situation below. With a single thought before being taken away, _why is she always in the living room instead of her room?_

It had finally reached Friday towards the end of the day on which she would be busy for, and hopefully the next day too. Steven had told her around six he would borrow his dads van and start picking everyone up that planned to come along. The total seemed to be Jasper, Steven and herself with that being everyone that Lazuli actually spent time with. All thanks to Sadie letting her have this weekend off, thinking of spending more time with her occurred often but due to them working mornings they often couldn't spend much time together regardless unless at work.

Once again rearranging herself in the mirror for tonight, regardless of just going out to a club or wherever Steven took them. The once black roots seemed to be more than just roots as they stretched further in her hair than before, reminding herself to fix it tomorrow morning or whenever really. From that below her hair caressed her ears that had tear drop earrings hanging on the bottom that were brought out from being a shade lighter than her hair. A casual black sleeveless shirt along with ripped black jeans completed the scene look she adored for such a long time, _a little old now but fitting_.

With one last glance at the endless drone on the couch she left, a small smile and a smaller wave was the only exit to the scene constantly laid out. Along the curb was a comfy breeze and a persistent heat that even penetrated the shadows from the house behind her. Seconds fell into minutes as patients stayed loyal to the beholder. Seven minutes late and a van began approaching.

It was all white with the sides exploded out the words "Universe" with the colors of space surrounding it spilling to the rest of it. A turn that looked animated as if almost threatening to spill over onto the floor in front of her it stopped. With overshooting the destination it was forced to back up a few feet before sitting in front of the girl with a slow rolling window. As it finally reached its bottom the curly haired boy sat with a large crescent smile

"Need a ride stranger," he said almost flirtatiously while bringing his hands up to point.

"Oh shut it," with a low snort she responded. Opening the door it was empty besides them and quickly moving from the moment she hopped in. Steven usually cared about safety but if you could get him distracted by something fun he would usually go along with it within reason.

"So Mr. terrible driver why are you late," a friendly voice edged with questions. He usually shows up a few minutes early so this would be off to anyone that knew him.

"Ohhh," he quickly said ruffling his hair with one hand as he drove as if a little bit panicked. "I forgot my wallet part way here," he finished while making a turn far sharper than it needed to be. With a playful grin back as the blue haired girl was ruffled around.

"I call driving back tonight," a low sigh trying to recollect herself.

"Nope you're drinking," as if showing the results he started playfully swerving the car down the road.

Few moments pass by before they're in a closely knit neighborhood that ran along the outskirts of town towards dense forestry. A tall apartment building Jasper had lived at the top of it for a few years now, she had moved in within the last couple years. A text and a few moments was all it took before the broad women left the house with a large amount of noise. Outside you could hear her movements down the stairs and a rhinoceros would have ran from her.

"Hey guys," the white haired girl said with breathy gasps following it.

"You're going out in that," Lazuli questioned looking up and down her friends body quickly. She looked wonderful, a button up shirt with a black tie along with slacks. Her hair was pulled back into a pony tail and all this put together she looked nice but not the go out and get drunk kind.

"What's wrong with this," Jasper loudly questioned back at skin and bones ahead of her.

"We're going to be dancing and drinking at a club not a fancy restaurant," she calmly deadpanned back at her.

"Oh yeah miss skinny jeans I bet those'll help to dance in,"

"Touché," The conversation dribbled on with jabs at each other's attire along with eventually small words of truth.

"You look good tonight Jasper just don't ruin those clothes," Lapis said with a genuine smile looking on her friend.

"Thanks, I thought maybe tonight I could find someone to take home y'know," with a friendly wink before turning her head to out the window. Jasper was a giant love bug, one night stands and anything along those lines don't really work for her, and she falls hard.

"So where is Peri," Steven finally rejoins the conversation with those small words. He already knew but probably to explain to Jasper.

"She'll be working maybe next time we can all meet again for a weekend then maybe."

"Oh yeah the cute blonde, she seemed pretty cool," Jasper said calmly. _Wait if Jasper hasn't met her before…_

"Hey Steven how long have you known Peridot and how did you guys meet?" Lazuli began to put the pieces together as she thought about how no one really knew Peridot that she knew.

"Not really that long at least in person… we kind of met online is all," Steven calmly said keeping his eyes on the road. "And we're here," He derailed the conversation with the stopping vehicle.

The building ahead of them had a blue crystal laid above the entrance that glowed several variances of blue. It was called the blue gem and the biggest area to hang out in on the weekend for parties. A bouncer on the outside checked I.D's just behind him was the light blue wooden walls that held the building up.

When the small group entered the building it was the real display of the joint. It wasn't the ratty alley along the side of it nor the broken fence running along the entrance. It was the booming bass that sent short pleasing shivers in your chest, the lights that made every moment feel as if you were the spot light. The aura was ecstasy for the mind and a dream for the body and any desires, a huge amount of people dancing to the DJ on the right and stools and tables on the left for drinking.

Jasper quickly left for the bar while Steven and Lapis secured a table, the table was a nice modern black stone. Some of the things in this club were real nice but seemed impossible to replace if broken from the tile floor surrounding the bar to the high powered lights fueling the desires of dancers. With bottles in hand she returned and a loosened tie giving off a bit of a relaxed feel.

To start were just bottles of light beer with a promise to drink a bit more later. With Steven being the designated driver he was only going to join them for the first beer anyways before hitting up the raving side with the others.

"The towns not that big anyways, tomorrow we should just meet up walking here." Lazuli calmly said with the tracer to speech being more alcohol. With a smothering presence lifting every ounce of her mood onto cloud nine they began discussing.

"Yeah but who could guarantee you guys wouldn't cause trouble on the way home," Steven declared sticking his finger in the air with a large smile.

"Drunk navigation is a specialty and I guess we can't trust Jasper to walk home without scaring someone that a bear escaped."

"Hey at least I don't have to worry about someone trying to mug me," The casual chatter of Jasper was a lot calmer and playful tonight. "Hey Steven by the way where is Connie she could just drive us home anyways right?"

"No. she had work," Steven said kind of rushed looking back at them. "She has a big surgery to perform tomorrow," he slowly said to follow up.

"Ahh alright," Slowly dropping the subject along with lowering her beer back onto the table.

"Hey I feel like dancing for a bit before we get smashed want to come Jasper," the blue haired girl asked knowing Steven would come regardless. Usually it would take a few drinks before the giant would join them out there to make a fool of herself but with how playful she'd been tonight maybe not this time.

"Lapis you know I'm bad at dancing," A smile drooping down a bit with the response. Her words mirrored it with the tone lowering the mood.

"Hey you won't get anyone over here lets have some fun," With that Lazuli grabbed onto her arm and slowly dragged her off to the dance floor. The first step seemed difficult as Jasper was more unwilling but once her first foot moved it didn't stop.

Joining the mass felt natural as if they had been here just yesterday, it felt great. Lapis felt so free as if a granite boulder was lifted from her mind and replaced with vibrations shooting through her body. From her head and chest to her toes the beat could be felt with genuine smiles and laughs as Jasper tried to mimic her elegant moves.

With coordinated hands and feet moving along to the beat that slowly picked up as time went on sweat began to fall. They made a small triangle of friends with Steven doing his own small fun moves such as the sprinkler which had him constantly jutting his arm out moving it around. Jasper was clumsy and could see it in her eyes frantically looking at herself trying not to trip on her own massive feet. Lapis didn't need to look at herself or remain at simpler dances. She was free from the quick moves spinning her body with her feet to the arms flowing as electrified water she was more than content.

Moments falls into time as if unidentifiable how much but having the knowledge that a chunk of time has gone by Lapis looked back at her friends. Before her head could make the full rotation a small press of her arm was evident. "Hey Lapis I invited some friends to join us," Steven yelled into her ear with his hands to cuff the noise enough to not get lost in the waves of sound.

"Who," Like a bag was thrown over her head the rest of the room began to disappear to just Stevens face.

"Don't worry about it lets get some things to drink," With that he dragged her away from her mood, _wonderful_. They all began to drink, while Lapis focused on the shots she was taking she also noticed Jasper prying her eyes across the room. _Maybe she'll find someone willing to go home with her tonight, maybe tomorrow I will._

With those moments falling over each other with the mixing of thoughts, fears and hope she looked onward as the door opened. Four girls freshly entering the club knowing each one of them for a while now. _An ex, a hot head, an emotionless one, and the Irritating one, thanks Steven._


	6. The Thing About Time

Steven gathered everyone together along with one of the waitresses taking peoples orders all around to get them some drinks. At the first sight of Lapis several of the members of the group cringed visually as if she couldn't see them. Along with everyone sitting down to Stevens's instruction there was a clear separation between the two groups.

"Pleasure to see you here," The tallest of the girls said with a shortly cut peach colored hair. Her words were directed at Lapis with a dash of puzzlement.

Quickly Jasper intervened as if comprehending the discomfort she had with this new group of people. "Hey Pearl, how are you doing," the question was a bit awkward but at least it was words and not a growl.

"Oh Jasper it's been awhile glad to see your nice and healthy," Pearl said with slight irritation at getting cut off from her previous conversation. All around people were beginning to talk amongst themselves with Lapis having the safety of Steven covering one side and Jasper on the other but that meant looking across she saw the rest. Two short girls eagerly conversing with all their sense drawn just to each other. They rested just beside Steven on the right one in a long blue dress the other in dark black and red attire.

"Yo Lazuli long time no see," sluggishly the words crossed the table into her ears. A shorter Latino girl with silver colored hair slouching partly over the table beer in hand, which was Amethyst.

"Hi," The words crawled out with venom dripping off the speech and mannerisms. Lazuli's' face had a scowl for the girl, and one hell of a dictionary too if time and place would have allowed that.

"We kinda should talk about some stuff huh," she calmly said it as if no one at the table would hear, but instead it seemed as if Pearl wanted to join.

"Oh yes, But what is important is that we're all glad to see you alright," Pearl said as if trying to reassure the situation. _Yeah sure you are, I know the last conversation really left me feeling like seeing you guys would be great._

"Sure you can tell me before we leave," the blue haired girl said back trying to buy some time. The other two seemed genuinely happy at the response with a brief nod to each other, _what the hell._

The night continued on with drinks here and there along with a game being announced to the group. Steven who was not drinking besides the beer he had earlier tonight decided they should all play a game together maybe one different from last. As explaining went it seemed like everyone was genuinely happy, _why._

"Alright so the rules of the game are, we split into two teams and decide on a person. That person says something that happened to them in their life like I broke my ankle and then we face the other group. The other group has to guess which one of us had that thing happen to them and we each get one question to explain why it's us. So I broke my ankle they ask Lapis how did you break your ankle and you respond with some reasonable story and when they ask me I just tell the truth.

Lapis felt an arm wrap around her shoulders to look over to see Steven grabbing both her and Jasper. No way in hell was she grouping up with the other four, maybe she could get a little revenge.

"Alright so you four since you're already sitting together and Lapis, Jasper and I will be a team," Steven proudly says while pulling them close. "We'll go first good luck guessing whose truth," with that the group of three turned around pretty close together. Jaspers large body was hunched as if trying to mimic the size of the brunette boy and failing. "So what's the plan," He asked quite quickly.

Moments dragged on as they all sat quietly thinking, plans came up to only be shot down by their own creator. "How about how I broke my best friends' heart," Lazuli slowly said with two shots of confusion facing her.

"Uh okay," Jasper said with her eyes lowered. It felt as if the world was a storm wrapping its grey clouds around Lazuli's head at this moment but maybe that was okay. Steven had a slow nod too as they began to turn around. "Jasper you say it too."

"I broke my best friends' heart," Jasper said with one hand behind her head scratching. She wasn't the best at acting but damn sometimes Lapis forgot she actually could act if the time called for it. "Also if you guys guess wrong you all have to take a drink, if you get it right Lapis will take two drinks and I'll do one." _That bitch._

"Hey why do I have make up the shot for Steven, I have precious brain cells to preserve Mrs. Muscle for brains." With a dropped jaw Lazuli responded full of disbelief at the words thrown at her. A ray of light might as well slammed her right in the face causing a break in the storm thanks to a few playful words.

"Ahem do you guys agree," slowly taking in a breath and fixing her tie Jasper asked the rest of the group. Chuckles and a few agreements were spread across the table.

"So who wants to ask the first question," the brunette boy asked.

"Very well, Steven," a small chuckle as the girl continued asking the question. "Why did you break their heart?" Sapphire was the girl that was speaking, she was short and wore a long blue dress or white dress most places she went. That girl was also dating Ruby the girl with a small afro beside her.

"Well, I didn't mean to." Stevens eyes had dropped he was going all out for this, he might even be the best actor or second to the blue haired girl. "I was a bit younger and didn't mean to, I was just starting to get together with Connie and this other girl was getting kind of close." He began fiddling with his fingers as he continued genuinely sounding if he regretted each word like a dagger piercing his lungs. "I liked Connie and that is why I broke her heart."

"I see," Sapphire spoke low and believing.

"Soo," Amethyst stared at Jasper for a long moment before finishing," How did you get them to fall for you?" The casual question took a moment of processing before a loud breath was exhaled in disappointment.

"What's that supposed to mean," Jasper looked almost frightened and slightly irritated. "She fell for me because I was always reliable damn it. We were good friends throughout high school and then he got his heart broken by some other girl and thought hell maybe her." _Damn using the fact that no one here knew her in high school well done Jasper. "Jerk."_

 _"_ That was pretty good but you went from girl to a boy," Pearl the tallest of their group proudly said. _Checkmate_. She kept her head held high with a large amount of pride as she spoke.

"She, he," Stumbling slightly with her words she continued," was trans and at the time that made me feel uncomfortable and was the main reason we didn't go out, now was that a question or just an accusation." Her voice lowered as she continued her sentence and by god if that wasn't believable then nothing in the shaking room was. Everyone dumbfounded by the course of words leaving her mouth even Steven dropped his moping act with wide eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry," that apology was real no doubt behind it, they were going to hate Jasper after this round. "Uhh okay um well Lapis what happened for you," Pearl quickly trying to avoid the slightly agitated seeming Jasper.

Still in disbelief of how Jasper acted it took a moment to recollect herself before the blue haired girl began. "Final year of middle school the only girl I really had as a friend in the swim team decided to talk to me a bit more. Over time we became good friends and she may have been my best friend but I don't know if I was hers. Well she found out she was into girls thanks to me and well I didn't want to lose her so we dated for a bit, when I realized we'd break apart eventually and I had to move I broke us up."

The words were spoken low and damn did it hurt, like digging a trench through her own mind with bare hands that each bore broken nails. First loves find a way to always feel, its so memorable and at the time sweet and innocent like only childhood romance could be. The past was a bitch but hey it's a game right, eventually every one's going to take more drinks and it'll be numb once again. _Just wait for it, it'll be okay_.

"Oh okay Ruby I guess you get a question." Pearls face held the inner pain of Lazuli's words, _damn maybe I shouldn't have been that detailed on it._

"Okay Lapis how long did you guys date," Ruby had said with what sounded like determination in her voice, for what?

"A few months once the honeymoon stage was over it ended quickly after that. Well the honeymoon stage for me, she might have still been in it."

Steven kidnapped the conversations with a bit of a smile instead of a frown. "Who do you guys think was telling the truth," and with that they turned around and discussed. Laying her head on the table the blue haired girl was genuinely tired it had been one hell of a night. Even with the booming music in the background it was restful almost like white noise to her.

"It was between Jasper and Lapis but we've decided that Lapis probably told the truth." It was Pearl that answered with confidence returning in her voice.

"Correct," Steven said giving several shots ordered earlier to each of them.

"Damnit Jasper now I have to drink, next time just say the girls blind." With the playful banter returning to Lapis and the burn to supply the numbness also returning.

"You're always so mean to me, I tried alr," Jasper frantically said as pearl starred at her.

"Hey you made me feel sorry," Pearl confronted the giant mid-sentence.

"Sorry,"

The conversations were now dissolving into bickering among the two groups of playful banter, Lapis finished both her shots and continued laying down just enjoying the lack of observing. With eyelids closed you can only absorb some bits of light and noise and taste and smell, but it was all controlled. As if the essence of night over party fever could take over and relieve the tension. So far it had been good with this group, or more so not bad.

"Which of us… broke a hand." Pearl said part way through thrusting her hands out to everyone on her side. Those words broke Lapis away from her mind. With that the night pressed forward with obvious answers and a clear disadvantage from the side that had been drinking prior to the other even getting to the club.

After two rounds of it they began splitting away from the game into disorientated conversations of random things. "I'll be right back," Lapis said slowly walking away from the group. In the far corner of the bar was a restroom just wading past the people dancing onward to one in the morning.

The mirror in the bathroom was split in two so you could only see yourself if you stood on the left side. Black loops hung under her eyes as if shadows of her pupil had spilled out on her face, along with the blood that had been brought forward in her eyes as they were somewhat bloodshot . Before she could leave a large noise of a slamming door was heard, it wasn't uncommon due to the door being nearly impossible to open.

"Lapis," Amethyst was staring at her by the door of the restroom.

"Guess we had to have this talk eventually,"

"I told Pearl to stay with the table. Why did you leave so suddenly," The silver haired girl actually sounded quite sad with the words that left her mouth.

"I had to pee I'm coming back now," Clearly avoiding the life that had already unfolded into the history stored into each of their minds.

"You know what I mean, back then y'know," throwing her arm across the hallway blocking the escape. _I guess the storms back for now._

 _"_ It was clear it wasn't going to work out," _Why does this have to happen._ "I had to get away."

"You coulda warned us man," Amethyst said calmly, this whole thing is surreal if it were up to Lapis this would have turned into a shouting match just so she could at least feel bad about it. "We aren't holding any of this to you, can we at least hang out again. If it weren't for Steven I wouldn't even know if you were alive."

She's right, it hurts like each word is cyanide to her ears, and it's so soft and easy to listen to but it's killing her. With the tiles on the floor gazing back at her it's enticing with the only opposition being the eyes just ahead of her. "I should go home now," Maybe another way to get out of this, _it could have been such a good night. They hate me they hate me they hate me they hate me they hate me._

 _"Please don't leave us again,"_ the small words were left in the air as Lapis shoved past the wall of arms keeping her present. The bar was starting to wind down with the dance floor losing participants as they went to the bar to end their night. Whether it be regret that draws you to the bar or wishing for a final note, that silver tongue to carry you through which you can't get enough courage for you end up here. Where the drinks are fast and the dependency on something other than your thoughts comes in, numbness.

"Hey Steven I'm ready to go home alright," a nervous spew of words falls from her lips just before her friend. The table was lively everyone was happily playing together, Jasper seemed to even be getting into it until she looked up at Lapis. Talking if anything about issues is more like a knife to the stomach, they can see your genuine reactions and if it were to bring tears they would see. Those god awful tears that ruin someone's face with blotches of red covering the cheeks and puffy eyes along with the running mascara and worst of all the after thoughts.

When that knife is no longer held by conversation if your nerves and regret haven't vanished then what's holding up that steel edged doubt or regret is just your own arms. Thoughts cornering her mind over the conversations over the joy over the reconnection were not understandable. Lapis knew herself a tiny bit and for what she knew of herself was less of others, regret was a memorization in the back of her mind all those mistakes. If she couldn't forgive her mistakes then why could someone come back into her life as if she never ruined theirs and say "it's okay", _It's not okay._

"Lapis," Stevens brows furrowed in confusion as his voice mimicked it. Before he could trail on in concern his arm was wrapped in the blue haired girls as they approached the exit. A confused Jasper betrayed the group as she retreated with the other two. Shame, acknowledgement of the chance of being wrong is what kept Lapis from looking at the rest of the group, she didn't know the faces they bore she didn't know if this night was just a curse.

"We hope to see you tomorrow," a soft spoken voice of pearl came and just like that the lightning finally hit. Tears fell, confusion roared in the back of her mind along with sadness. Part of her openly hated what she was doing she couldn't face them, she knew she could be forgiven but all of her fought to say she couldn't deserve to be forgiven.

"What's wrong," It was Jaspers turn to show concern as they reentered the can. Crawling through the back seat Lapis wiped her tears along her arm with hefty breaths.

"Steven I told you I don't want to see them right now. I just can't okay." The call was passed forward past the hefty barrier of care just in front of her.

"I'm sorry, they really do care and no ones holding anything against you Lapis, please." His voice was merciful, like strings of sorrow kept his words afloat across to the back of a girl laying along the metal back. The metal of the long part of the van was a comfy cold of steel along with other assorted distractions along the side of the trunk. It had things like a bouquet of flowers the back was nearly pitch black so they only barely were shone among other things.

The car ride home was quite besides the bumps in the engine along the long roads, every so often the old vehicle would make some mysterious noise. Along the edge of silence was a white noise of gravel ran over that eased into white noise the longer it went. While lying in the back could roll around a bit when Steven wanted to he could be a bit smoother in other words he drove a lot slower or it could be the effect of slight tipsiness.

The car ride was void of useless chatter but instead care was shown in the frantic face peering into that back with a head full of white hair. _They care, they're safe, and I haven't hurt them… yet._ So many things had transpired over the night but rationalizing was far out the door probably left somewhere on the dance floor.

Usually they would drop Jasper off then Lapis because then Steven and her would be free to have more conversation and a little bit more of a drive. Tonight that bakery with a Christmas like door was the present outside the car first. With a hand helping guide her back beside her house that was encompassing her whole hand she was lead back. A nice thing about time is that it allowed something to be in the past, no longer were those tears present just a weak smile and silence.

The ringing of the metal fire escape echoed but it never reached her mind. Blue light that protruded the night never penetrated her mind. A small voice at the slow opening door accompanied by keys returning to her pocket relieved her mind. "How was your night," sounding somewhat annoyed the blonde gave a sideways glance and spoke.

"Pretty good I cried and acted pretty rude to my friends," playfully said back at her. Peridot looked quite concerned as she gazed at the weak smiled, frail bodied girl walking in. A face of pure betrayal of calmness, many things made it apparent that comment bothered her.

"Are you alright," confusion evident in her words before they even came out. No idea why but this situation felt warm to Lapis, it'd been a hard hour or so maybe it was the alcohol or the sudden anxiety but talking was good. Talking with Steven and Jasper is a dose of stress because of the connection to the other group, it's hard to push your opinion on someone that's educated and right.

"Steven kinda invited my ex and her friends to the bar with us and I'm kind of not really ready to see them let alone her yet." While she spoke lowly to her friend on the couch she swooped by lifting the red blanket and with a bit less grace falls onto the couch. Peridot whose face hasn't changed slowly shifts her weight over and shuts her laptop.

"Eechk," A weird noise of surprise and empathy comes from her mouth. "Well what happened." It felt to Lapis that Peridot didn't know what to do with a friend unloading their problems on them. Maybe it wasn't but at the very least it seemed she was willing to listen and that's all that really mattered.

The conversation dragged on explaining the course of what she was willing to inform her about and her personal feelings towards it. She may have left out a bit like the things that she wasn't even willing to admit to herself or the things she didn't have the courage to bring back up like regret of her past. When someone has pent up feelings over years though it's nice to talk to an outsider. Boy was she a great outsider she listened to each thing and instead of making decisions on feelings Peridot gave advice purely based on logic.

Things made sense when Peridot broke down part of the conversation and how it made her feel, it made sense. Over the long conversation that had finally been done unwinding a few inches lay separating them under the blanket.

"Hey how about before you go to bed we watch a few episodes of Camp Pining Hearts," Peridot lavished her words in care. Peridots face bore many dark patches such as under her eyes and her voice was a bit hoarse but it was still present it was still in her life.

"Sure, thanks for listening… by the way."

"Yeaaaah," the word was extened a bit with pure discomfort. "Any time really, I don't really mind it that much," She said casually scratching the back of her head while putting the disc in. Damn was that cute to watch as a rope was thrown down her hole of depression she grabbed on. Over the three episodes they watched and bickered about she climbed.

What was television the blonds' kryptonite, she was once again passing out along the edge of the couch right next to her. Her hair a mess, like a series of mountains strands stuck up along her head till it fell just short of her large hoody. The hoody engorged her upper part not concealed by the blanket as if a safety net to hold in her body. Head tilted away to the hallway with soft, such soft breaths that a silent house can relax with those alone. Peace.

Lazuli didn't drink as much tonight as she would have liked and couldn't use that as an excuse at this point. Her hand may have had a mind of its own but she was fully okay with the soft texture that engulfed her hand. The distorted breath of acknowledgement to touch, with a soft peering look back into her eyes. They gazed into each other for a long moment, a sweet moment as Lazuli finally took her hand off the head of Peridot and lifted herself from the couch.

Her eyes didn't need to wander back and see if Peridot was watching her, it didn't matter the night had taken a full 180 and nothing else mattered. Her bed accompanied her descent.

" _They aren't here to judge anymore"_

 _A door slams with wide eyes on both faces for different reasons_

 _Along the fire place a large steel rod scrapes against the metal container_

 _"I'm not here to care anymore"_

 _Slow steps with more scrapes against the flooring_

 _Noise drawing close, edges of the corner no escape_

 _"You're not going to talk anymore"_

Like that the rope was cut and she fell, a world constantly flipping back and forth to set the desire of pain. A horrible thing about time is that it allows for the past to haunt you.


	7. Reminiscing

A ring was heard along the night stand next to the alarm clock with red lights showing 12:38. With a slow reaching arm slowly bringing the phone to her face. "Pearl" was the name imprinted a number that hasn't called in several months for what it's felt like.

"Hello," a rarity the blue haired girl had picked up her phone. She had been lying in bed for hours thanks to a bad dream earlier making it uncomfortable to move.

"Wow you actually picked up," her voice sounded utterly shocked as it moved past the fact. "Well I wanted to call and ask you if you were coming to the bar again tonight."

Confusion was running amuck in Lapis' head as she pondered what to say back to the girl. She planned on going to the club with her day off on which she could actually stay up late. "Yeah I think."

"Well we just wanted to inform you that we will only go too if you want us." Her words felt official, Lazuli wasn't quite sure why but they just seemed prepared.

"I don't care."

"Hey Lapis," her voice dropped almost as if she was talking to herself. "I'm sorry about what I said to you, I just thought. I don't know what I thought I'm sorry it wasn't my place to step in." like each sentence they dragged on dug the trenches of their past only deeper and neither of them could get over it.

"You were right, that's why I left." This morning was perfect, two different pasts she couldn't get over interacting with her within a few hours of each other.

"I still shouldn't have spoken to you that way, I shouldn't have made you leave." Another embrace of awkward silence was given after those words.

"Whatever I'll see you tonight," quickly hanging up the phone thrusting her body back into bed. Pearl was probably irritated she hated getting hung up on and Lapis knew that but she hated having that conversation over phone so Lazuli continued to think they were even there.

After a few moments of relishing in the sweet warmth of bed she finally pushed herself out as noises could be heard downstairs. Quickly trampling down with plenty of rest and a killer mood as in killing her to stay within it she checked into the kitchen. It was adorable.

On a tiny step stool Peridot was standing with a pan hanging over the burners full of something. Each time the small stool would wobble small shrieks or squeaks would escape her, she wore shorts that hugged her figure slightly. Her top was just a plain T-shirt and she was actually slightly kept up today no mountain of hair. Along the side of the creation of food was a whole new amalgamation of supplies on the left like plenty of seasonings and greens.

After a few more moments of appreciation it was finally time for the big reveal that another person was present. "Hey whatchya making," Lapis idly said letting her gaze rest upon the turning body just ahead of her. They locked eyes for a few moments before the blonde planted her hands along her hips proudly before she began.

"I've decided that for once I could perform the cooking ritual," she said drenching her words in sarcasm. "I cooked a few too many eggs and a bit too much salad would you like to join me for breakfast." A genuine smile was planted on her face as wove the words through the nice smelling aroma of the kitchen. She looked almost dead, like a happy dead. Someone that wore a smile but had huge black bags under their eyes and actions falling under clumsy for separate reasons than their regular stability.

"You cooked the salad I'm impressed," matching the sarcastic tone that set their conversation. "I'd appreciate that, thanks."

"How about a few episodes while we eat," Peridot calmly threw back the words while she finished cooking up the food ahead of her.

"Sure, also I didn't know you cooked," Lapis said knowing well that anyone could cook just that not everyone was taught while they were younger. Or needed it to survive while they were younger. Breads have decent calories.

"Well, I cook some things… it'll be done in a minute. Could I ask you one more thing…" the last sentences volume derailed to a low whisper just barely over the sound of the stove. The room was warm with not quite as sunny as it should be but clouded skies just out laid gray layers across the room.

"Yeah," questioning the sudden drop in voice.

"Are you alright." The room seemed a bit darker than grey after the words pierced her ears. Only for a moment though, like blinking eyes while tired it lasted a few moments before the gray interior might as well have been layered with oranges of the sun.

"Yeah, sorry about that," with the disc sliding in since they finished the last one recently. "How about you, you look pretty tired though." Steps drawn in behind as a two small plates were set along the small table just in front of the television. A small hand gestures to sit down beside her, lifting herself away from the ground she listened and went to the couch.

"Yeah I'll be fine just a little tired. Works done for now though, I have to wait for a client to get back to me before I can actually continue and they're away on vacation so I guess I have two days off." Scrapes along the plate accompany each of the words as they salvage for the food along the plate.

"Um you might be a little too tired but," hesitation flooding her words as she thought about how to word it. "The others want to meet you, do you want to go out with us tonight?" she found herself abandoning her fork for a quizzical expression of holding her chin while looking at the one beside her. A null response as the blonde didn't seem to move at all from the words.

"I guess that'd be okay," as if imitating the emotions earlier they were confused. A few moments of incomplete silence went by as the attention drawing TV continued going along with the scrapes of forks. The eggs tasted wonderful surprisingly, bits of black pepper sprinkled in were noticeable. The salad was nothing special and felt as if just mostly cabbage and spinach drenched in ranch but that was okay. Ranch is pretty good at least.

"Oh yeah nice alien," Now that she could fully see the front of her while they sat she noticed the blondes "Plain" shirt had a huge stereotypical green alien face along the center. Looking at the blonde a hiccup ran through the small ones body at the words mentioned to her.

"It just so happens this T-shirt was on clearance," she declared back almost believably.

"Yeah I bet," peace emitted from the words, a nice show and a nice meal and a nice friend. "These eggs are really damn good why do you never make them," Asking while planting her eyes along the light screen ahead of her.

"I hate cooking," said quite plainly drawing the blue haired girl to look at her. Tired expression and a slow yawn before continuing. "When I have things I could be doing it feels like it takes up too much time."

"Do you like home cooked meals though," questioning if the girl beside her also happened to have bad tastes as well.

"Yeah."

"Hell you pay for the food then I'll cook it up," Lapis said gleefully introducing more life into her speech.

"That could work out." Peridots statement seemed as if she didn't fully get that it wasn't completely serious which only made Lazuli enjoy the conversation more.

"I'm kind of joking, I need to pay for food too but if you do help pay for a meal I'll definitely make enough for both of us." Even though when she did end up cooking she would share as long as Peridot accepted them.

"Well I already steal enough of your food, I guess I can chip in." Peridot said casually emitting a bit of a weird tension. What was going on through her head, Lapis was nearly dying to know with how little she could actually see.

"Hey I offer it, also penny for your thoughts," maybe this was prying a bit deep but it seemed to get the blonds attention. Away from the show the eyes were stolen to a runaway conversation that could mean nothing to either of them other than idle chatter.

"I'm thinking about how you spent over thirty dollars on greens." It was said so plainly it took a few moments to notice the small smirk covering the far corner of her face.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Cup o noodle, maybe I like more than fake noodles," now it was as if they mirrored each other with smiles bordering their faces.

"I'll have you know those fake noodles cover a variety of flavors and needs," promptly said with a finger raised.

"Needs," drawing her head back questioning the proud one ahead of her.

"For something quick, easy and filling before a long night of work," she said now baring a full smile before a kid falling off a canoe stole back the tension.

They returned to the show finishing off a few episodes before stopping. The two plates now empty besides a few greens spread out among the veggie haters plate. Looking across the time it was getting close to two which would only leave four hours before Steven would be over to pick them up.

"Hey I'm going to go take a shower and stuff to get ready for the day." Slowly pushing off the couch the bright green eyes trailed her before releasing few words.

"Okay," those eyes were drifting off, as if they were weighed down her head moved and bobbed up as if to reawaken.

"I'll wake you up an hour before we go so you can get ready," Peridot gave a thumbs up before it slowly fell back down beside her side.

A quick sprint upstairs to pick out nice attire of a blue dress barely ever worn with the current days of work. A towel was also shoveled over her shoulder before sprinting off to the restroom cranking up the heat. The fan on and the water put nearly as hot as it could go, it would be great. After undressing and before stepping in she took a quick look in the mirror.

It'd been a short time since Peridot had moved in still so of course the past months would still be evident on her skin along with the scars along her stomach, neck and arms but those would probably never fade. Ribs were a light color change showing the incline along her stomach from her chest, it was steep between her ribs and stomach. Dark blue eyes weren't nearly as attractive if they couldn't stand out and they don't stand out with dark black circles under her eyes.

Finally planting a small foot in with a burn lingering on her skin, the heat seared across her entire body with each moment gaining courage to put more of herself underneath. Light breaths of the steam rising was soothing, this was a remedy to anxiety, restful and thoughtful. Thoughts that ranged from the girl laying on the couch to the situation bestowed upon tonight. That was a talk that definitely should get resolved but now was not the time to think of that.

Instead more thoughts of the small squeaks and small shakes of a girl on a tiny stool _. Was she reaching for something, she can reach the burners just fine without that. Is she going to go out in that same outfit, well she'll have the green hoody at least. Is my dress going to show too much of my body, maybe I should keep avoiding it. Scars are just worry some anyways. How much am I going to drink tonight, last night I was just tired didn't really drink enough if it's on Steven. I'll owe him so much more, maybe free doughnuts for a month._

A small break from thoughts as more than just water drenched her head, layering up some soap on her hair and body. Quickly washing off the soap while digging her fingers through her hair with shampoo. _They're going to be there and Peridot's going to get to meet them for the first time. What if she feels uncomfortable, what if they tell her about the past. Go for it, it doesn't matter anyways. Peridot asleep on the couch still…_

The waters heat was so high that even the course of the shower it still had a slight burning feeling as it ran along her. Rolling her shoulders as if trying to relax even more, she needed this more than anything at this moment and maybe a little more. _Just thirty more seconds and then I'll get out. 12, 11 , 10, 9 oh yeah what if Steven tells them some weird lie about us. He'd do that, he's been acting quite strange lately._

After going back through thirty seconds several times she finally left her hands along the plastic nob. Jarring it off to the right until the water ceased with once last caress of searing water and draining a bit of the energy from her. The mirror now had fogged up fully even with the fan going it didn't exactly help that much, but that was alright the fog was nice it was a curtain. A patient towel waiting to be used just outside the shower laying across the sink.

Cloth rummaging through her hair was a wonderful feeling like a soft hand running along her head. It was comforting the feeling of ruffled hair even if in the end she was by herself, with a quick shake of her head to finish it off. Slinging the towel around her body before neatly tucking it into itself with the decision not to wear her dress. A quick look over herself to make sure that no important part is exposed before the quick walk to her room. With another nob pulled down she began to exit the bathroom.

Two feet ahead of her Peridot with her eyes gazing at the body right in front of her and eyebrows furrowed masking her face in confusion. "Uhm hi," Lapis quickly spoke with the girl unmoving in front of her.

"Hello," the blonde forces out of her mouth clearly choked up. "I was just going to spend the rest of my nap in a uh real bed." Her eyes had shifted down to her feet and hands retained by the small pockets along the shorts.

"Okay," And like that all the earlier presence of close friendship was gone and instead replaced with an awkward shuffle to the room beside her and a slow walk away. _Was she embarrassed seeing me like that? I mean I had a towel on and everything, a bikini exposes more…_ Lapis kept trying to rationalize in her head what the other girl had seen. Slowly walking up the stairs to reach her room and pick out another similar set of Black jeans and cut off sleeve T-shirt.

A guitar and paint supplies had found their way into her eyes as she changed upstairs. Now that she thinks about it if she stood too close to the edge where she walks up, the living room would be able to see her change… _Awkward._ This was a great workspace for Rose and Greg when they lived here with room for their bed and then plenty of other space in the house. Before the bakery they used the bottom floor as rooms too and would often let strangers stay the night. Tourists.

After plucking the fifth fret of the A string and slowly checking if everything was in tune her mind continued to reminisce the past set up of the house, actual stairs that lead to the second floor. Not some ratty metal fire escape that had threaten to fall off from time to time if it weren't for repairs. The roof was also like a square block on top of them with an even scarier way to get to it from her window. Lapis had only been at the top of the house a few times with Greg since Rose deemed it reckless.

One night Greg nearly fell off the ledge trying to climb back into the window and that's when Rose banned it from use. Before that though you could see the ocean quite well from it and with night it was as if the ocean fused with the stars for a beautiful deep blue fading into the black of space. The void above would have specks of light, uncountable but reliable and often brought along whispers along the wind. Stories traveling from all the lands around, if Steven was with them it didn't matter his age but he wanted to hear stories from his old man. When they first starting Lapis in, she cried, Stories of anything at all they ran so well.

That man never failed to deliver a good story and often would also retain something to life that could be used later or before. Advice from someone that cared, someone that was still there for her despite the life she lived Greg was important. If Steven wasn't there it didn't matter Greg would still shed a story for her or just small talk keeping the stars awake with their voices. No matter how late memories were still made like when she first started opening up to him about all the horrible mistakes she made and how she paid for them.

Just like the stories that he had told her full of emotion, the regrets she spoke up made him cry. He didn't think she was a monster but instead they cried together with apology of what had happened and with fear of not understanding why it happened. He had become something important over those nights not just a voice but a family member someone dear and that made two people.

The guitar was now in tune and maybe being a little out of it was nice, the thoughts pacing through her head were dearly missed. A reliable hand to hold her up, to guide her and help her learn many things with just a shout above. It was over a month of living here before Lapis dared yell to get Greg's attention at the time she was still not approaching them. Rose's food was amazing and eating it at the table was mandatory, feeling as if intruding on the family was a daily occurrence.

Steven would always drag her into the conversations but when silence is your answer to most things it doesn't really help. Rose would always hug her if she helped with food, a guilty pleasure when convenient. She joined the circle close to Lapis last.

Rose liked to fake being stern, she would say a rule and huff and puff and then laugh about it not even ten minutes later. It was probably over two months when she had gotten Irritated Lapis hadn't really done any chores and just mostly spent her time in her room drawing. Rose decided that she would need to join the chore list and start helping prepare one meal a day and do the dishes from two meals a day. Dishes could be done in silence at any time whereas cooking had to be done alongside Rose.

They started casually talking and she taught Lapis so many tricks on how to cook that she didn't even know even though she did a little bit of cooking before she moved. Dinner was always the big meal, always the one she put the most effort in whereas lunch could just be a PB and J. It was an afternoon during the winter quite the opposite of now.

Snow had piled up and made it quite hard to leave, Steven was off at a friend's house while Greg was trying to make sure the shop would be closed up well. Rose had called for help with dishes as one of her chore points, there was only two cups. Neither of them were in the sink but instead standing with hot cocoa on the table. The couch at the time had faced the window too even if buildings were pretty close you could still see the snow falling. She instructed Lapis to sit down beside her.

Maybe it was ten minutes of silence but none of it was bad, Rose then shared how her and Greg had met. Like Greg she could captivate with her stories but there was something different about her stories and that was a genuine feeling to them. They were all real and she was telling the truth to Lapis selling a little bit of herself out just for even a nibble. While only few words left the child's mouth at the time it sure meant a lot, leaving the sweet taste of cocoa in her mouth.

Over an hour passed and they had drifted to TV with constant questions on what to watch and it not really mattering. All that mattered was the presence and regardless of knowing that or not Lapis needed it. When she got up to go back to her room when they were done watching Rose hugged her, it was soft, it was comfort and unforgettable. Rose then took the cups and washed them letting Lapis have the rest of her day back. They began actually talking during cooking and each time slipping a small word or two past each other's guard moving on their friendship.

Strumming along the strings all the basic open chords she had learned occasionally switching it up to a song she knew for a few moments before changing it again. Reminding herself of the present situation over the only safe part of her past. If you look too far back you can remember why other parts hurt. Lapis played for a little over twenty minutes before her hands began to remind her of the calluses she had lost to wasted time. Drifting between strumming out a few notes here and there and looking back over her art she paced about her room waiting for the time to come.

When it finally did hit five she ran down the stairs to rattle the door with loud pounds. A familiar voice just squeezed underneath the door till it finally met the blue haired girls' ears causing a grin along her face.

"What," groggily sent from the blonde.

"It's five now just thought I'd wake you, we leave in 45 minutes," Lapis quickly responded with a light voice. As if it could be lifted away, it was joy for the moment.

"Okay," and with that Lapis had once again left to give the blonde some space while tidying up the kitchen. Usually she would do dishes twice a day if it was a day off, once in the morning and then once more before she went to bed it was soothing. Little pitter patter of footsteps could be heard it sounded almost lively, a different feeling a nice feeling not a phantom on the couch but a person.

Time flew with grey clouds staining the sky outside with threats of rain. Living along the ocean they were prone to quite a bit of storms regardless of the time of year. The temperature today had been warm but was dropping a bit as in it had quite a bit of wind making it seem a bit colder or so the wind could be heard. Each hit of wind howled through the house as if each crevice shown a bit of noise. During storms it was quite annoying to deal with in the shop due to poor insulation.

The blonde had also walked into the kitchen stealing Lapis eyes away from the window to the short girl ahead of her. The light green hoody matching her vibrant eyes was worn along with the shorts she was previously wearing with slightly damp hair and glasses perched on her nose. Black bags hung underneath her eyes with pale skin maybe slightly more pale than usual. For the first time noticing small earrings with a bright green gem shining in them.

"When's Steven going to be here," Peridot asked plainly.

"We're walking," stated back before ushering other words out of her mouth. "Also you have your ears pierced I never noticed," dumbfounded she asked.

"Walking," Peridot cried out loudly, ignoring the second part of their conversation.

"Yeah that way Steven can drink tonight too, this isn't just a night off for us but also a night off for him you know." Slowly easing the door open for her, it seemed easier to get Peridot down the stairs if someone was behind her forcing her to move at a good pace. The blonde just grumbled as she dragged her feet out and then dragging her head to the sky.

"Hey is it going to rain," questioning while standing motionless.

"Maybe it's been acting a little stormy lately," Lapis said also shifting her attention to the greying sky.

"Ugh I hate storms they always mess up power and then I can't work well."

"Sounds like a good excuse to get out of work," Lapis said playfully while tapping her on the shoulder as if to usher her forward to the stairs.

Once again the blonde stopped at the stairway, probably mustering up courage to go down the rickety thing, _I wonder if it's all stairs or just these._

"So what was it like before you moved in with Steven," Lapis asked genuinely curious.

"It was a small apartment I got accepted to live in, a nice group of friends most of them I don't talk to anymore though."

"Well if you move out you better continue talking to me," Lapis kindly said to the person just leaving the stair case. Tapping the girls shoulder ahead of her reassuringly, "hey you made it down the stairs in one piece yet again."

"Hey I usually make it down them in one piece," Peridot mimicked Lazuli's theatrical approach to the words jokingly. The walk to the club was pretty uneventful besides the fact that it started to rain, it had interrupted their conversation and made Peridot pull her head into her sweater.

"I hate the rain, I hate it." Peridot had been grumpy the rest of the way cursing at the sky every now and again leaving the girl beside her amused. Their thoughts were lifted as if they were the same as the music in the club, set to max.

Over at the same table fairly far off to the right was Steven with the others, all of them seemed relatively the same besides Jasper burying her face in her hands. As they approached one thing missing appeared and it was the two love birds that constantly ate each other's face with affection.

"Where's Ruby and Sapphire," Lazuli questioned the group as they drew close.

"Since Sapphire couldn't make it tonight Ruby didn't want to come," Steven said with sad smirk and lowered eyes. As if the news caused the clouds outside themselve.

"Alright then also where is Connie?"

"You di-," Peridot was quickly interjected as Steven cut her off with the answer.

"Another late night at work you know how it is," He said loud enough for everyone at the table to hear and with the music blaring so loud it was quite impressive.

"Yo lil P and Lazuli wus up," Amethyst joined in the conversation leaving Pearl alone in the tangent she was going on about.

"Call me Lapis," with a stern voice and a face that matched it looking dead serious nearly making Amethyst back up. _Wait did she just call Peridot lil P, they know each other?_

"Lil P," Peridot questioned scrunching up her face trying to think of a response to it. "Well I've been fine thank you Amethyst."

"You guys know each other," shocked Lapis asked looking around to check if anyone else was surprised but they all just seemed the exact same.

"Well yeah, I've known about them far longer than I've known about you," Peridot stated pulling her arms up with hands facing out confused on the confusion. "They'd come over and hang out with Steven all the time."

"Steven do you just collect friends with weird names," Lapis questioned as she thought about everyone around her. They all had gem names besides Steven and he was how they had all known each other.

"You found me out, that's the whole reason we became friends to begin with, I read about you and just couldn't stop till I caught them all. At first it was just you but then I slowly found others Lapis and I, I just couldn't help myself do you forgive me," Steven said pulling both his hands together as he begged for forgiveness.

No one could hold it back anymore everyone at the table erupted into laughter at the strange realization of all their names except Jasper. She still remained silent as her friend had sat next to her.

"Hey Jasper what's wrong," the blue haired girl asked hoping to at least see the face to the hulking body beneath it. After a few moments Jaspers head finally lifted with the long mane of white hair, it was so pure almost like snow at some times.

"I really screwed up my chances with this girl Lapis and she was amazing," Jasper looked as if she fell off the planet, she was lost.

Instead of giving into the urge to laugh, Lapis persuaded her body to look concerned, it was funny but it was also concerning to see her friend hurt. "What happened," She asked taking each moment to try and keep herself fully into the conversation. _Ah Pearl hasn't tried to speak with me yet this is great._

"Well when I was first coming over to your house to have you meet Peridot I ran into this girl asking for directions and man was she beautiful. She gave me her number and I invited her here tonight but she wouldn't come, I don't think she likes me."

"Jasper you realize it probably was just a bad night or maybe clubs aren't exactly her scene right," genuinely it would most likely be one of those situations if they were willing to get Jasper their number.

"You're probably right, so Peridot what's it like living with Lapis."

"Better than Steven, his room is always so messy and our couch is superior to theirs," Peridot said as she looked over at Lapis sitting beside her.

"You hear that Steven our couch is better than yours," Lapis said while sticking out her tongue at Steven. The boy was just sitting there drink in hand seeming to enjoy the conversations around him rather than joining in until a Lapis prodded his side. "You hear that Steven."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it our couch isn't that comfortable you've said that enough to me. Especially when you lived with us, you guys should have heard her she acted like it was killing her as a person. Ohhh it's breaking my back to sleep on that." Steven mocked Lapis while every one's eyes began to fall on him.

"It made fun of me, it called me fat with its rickety ass springs. Well screw this guys' I came here to dance I'm going to dance whose coming along, Peridot?" Part of her just wanted to steal her regardless of what she said, slowly reaching her hand over to her shoulder. The blonde looked back wide eyed frantically looking from the bright lights then to the blue eyes looking at her. Deep blue eyes that mirrored a sky fading into space, a place lost to others but only found in her.

"It's alright I'm not really a dancer." Peridot casually said while turning back and looking down at the table ahead of her. With the chance of Peridot not watching Lapis took it sliding her other arm along the girls shoulder too until she had a firm grip and with one quick pull the blonde tumbled. A quick shriek as the dance floor got closer and some swear words of protest quickly over looked.

"I'll dance too guys," Steven yelled after them quickly removing himself from the group. Amethyst and Pearl followed going to the other side of the dance floor to distance themselves from Lazuli a little bit.

They formed a triangle as Lazuli continued to do a less concentrated dance as she kept watching the blonde that was less than two feet away. Steven did his mindless fun moves but Peridot awkwardly spun herself around half matching the beat and half fumbling over her own feet. When she would turn the other way Lazuli could see where the shorts were the tightest. Her facial expression was frantic despite being dragged out here against her own will she stayed that was appealing.

Taking a brave step forward Lazuli pulled her hand forward once again to draw the gaze on her from just one person. Light greens looking back easing all tension with those curious eyes, a slightly open mouth with heavy breaths. The blue haired girl started a simple dance of moving her arms up and down causing the blonde to slowly follow her lead. Together they did a simple childish dance that was a blast with each of them wide smiles not caring of others. While Lapis was genuinely enjoying Peridot was focusing back on her.

Grabbing the small hands and pulling the small girl toward her Lapis used her other arm to push her back. Lifting her first hand causing an arch above both their heads then pushing Peridot into a spin underneath it. The confusion into a laughing fit at the move they just did was beautiful, the pureness of her laughter the innocence, Lapis couldn't get enough of it. Once again pulling her close to allow herself to guide the inexperienced one how she wanted her to be.

Forcing Peridot to spin every which way with ease allowing it all to feel natural and beginning to beat to the same tune above them. Soft. Sweaty. Two traits of Peridots hands tonight but two traits of her tonight that aren't her hands are joy and a damn smile that could steal the show. The beat was contagious and maybe it's what was leading the bravery but each second daring to stay closer to her. Until a moment Peridot grabbed Stevens hand too, then all three of them were spinning across the place at a more uncontrolled rate.

As Steven was quite a bit of a better dancer compared to Peridot he could at least improvise with each of his twirls. They were beginning to steal eyes like regular nights Lapis could do that but it was more than just her, it was the inner mingling of all three of them. An out reaching hand of Stevens spawned a new idea that only he would be crazy enough to Start. A stranger fell for the bait as Steven pulled in a stranger to the group first it was just a tall guy with blonde hair next it was more.

Everyone was beginning to get pulled into the black hole that was their group. Within moments the whole club had people spinning each other grabbing every ones hands running and circles and grabbing more people. It was like a mosh pit turning into snowflakes as they grabbed onto everyone and mixed and threw and spun.

A slender hand reached out and was quickly grabbed by the blue haired girl to see Pearl. Her lips were pursed into a slender smirk along with open eyes and her body dripping of slight intoxication.

"Fancy seeing you here," Lazuli said with a few ounces of joy remaining from the event slowly calming down. Just at the end of it she could see Steven, Jasper and Peridot all getting drinks together, she was beginning to breathe fairly hea-

"What a wonderful event you've caused," Pearl said cutting off the thoughts in her head forcing her to actually respond. Slowly she brought her hands up like previously with a difference of an elegant spin underneath from pearl, she was a great dancer too.

"Blame Steven or Peridot, I never had intentions of it reaching this." Finally letting go of each other's hands to split off into their own free styles. Pearls was a bit more elegant from formal training for ballet and other things whereas Lazuli was just freely moving her body to her own rhythm.

"You started the spinning with Peridot so you are partial to blame too," Pearl said almost excited it seemed from her voice. Clearly gazing over Lapis as if to assess the situation.

"She has to have fun too, so you were stalking us eh," quickly yelling back to reach to ears ahead of her. It seemed to shock Pearl from the sudden voice hike as she jolted up and nearly failed her cute little spin she was in the middle of.

"Hey it wasn't stalking you guys just happen to be in front of us."

"Yeah sure." Lapis and Pearl kept talking a bit and dancing as the only two with a good amount of endurance. The spinning really took a lot out of her though and forced her to start and follow Stevens' method of simple things that didn't require excessive leg movements. By the point that her legs were starting to feel as if any movement was horrible it was about time to call it quits.

Slowly drawing herself back to the bar area which only Steven and Peridot remained at their table with Amethyst actually sitting next to the bar tender for quicker drinks. The closer she got to the Burnette boy the more apparent he was wasted with his body bubbly and wobbling from the left to the right. Peridot sitting across from him seemed alright but maybe slightly tipsy by the fact she was hunched over on her hands.

Words were finally starting to be within ear shot with the temptation to scare Steven, an easy goal and tempting. She decided against it with the fear of genuinely scaring him out of his seat. Steven had suddenly hunched over and drew his hands up to his face just ahead of her.

"Why did she break up with me, I love her so much," Steven yelled stifling a few short sobs afterwards clearly visible with the shakes rattling through his body.

"What Steven…."


	8. Snuggling curiosity

"Connie said she wanted a break from dating," Steven slurred out as Lapis approached. It was hard to understand over the alcohol and sobs but clear to Lazuli. Irritation at the fact of not being told about this until now was beginning to become hard to suppress the more her thoughts got ahold of her.

"Why didn't you tell me," she questioned loudly as the blonde started looking a bit frantic. "You knew didn't you," pointing her finger at the blonde loudly. Her feelings were mixing into a fine drink that could finish anyone off of irritation and sadness.

"Yeah," she solemnly said while Steven started Standing beside the blue haired girl.

"I made her promise not to tell anyone," Steven cried while he grasped onto Lazuli, enveloping her in a hug. With a large sigh she had given in, her anger drained from her while pathetically holding up her best friend, nothing could be sadder.

"Alright we need to get you home buddy," Slowly dragging him to the door. "Peridot go sort things out, tell them we're leaving and such, we'll be at the door waiting." With that Peridot gave a lazy nod and started walking away. The boy clinging on to her shoulder was heavy in multiple ways, he was also dark, his eyes glued to the floor. _How did it become this how did it change from light sobs to unmoving when._ "When did you two break up?"

"A month ago, I keep trying though," Words falling straight down to the floor nearly impossible to capture though her ears.

The walk home was dark with only the sight of what lied ahead with no courage to look back on what previously happened. Steven had been lost in his thoughts for the rest of the trip getting dragged home while Peridot was frantically checking up on Lapis. Lapis however remained the same, detaching herself from the situation, just get it over with. A serious talk would have to be had tomorrow once everything was fixed and everyone was sober.

The final walk home from Stevens was quiet, for the longest time Lapis just looked to the sky avoiding anything tangible to her from what she could see. Out of reach the night sky could at least burry its memory of beauty in her mind over the grimy sand gathering around her shoes or the cold rain drops piercing her bodies heat. Once again something grazed her body as small hand placed itself upon her shoulder.

"I had fun tonight, for the most part." Winds picked up as did the rain the closer they got to home. Peridot had gotten quite a bit closer walking with less than a foot of distance between them. Pulling her arms across each other, Lazuli looked to see the girl shutter from likely the cold. "I'm glad we danced."

"Thanks for dancing with me," Lazuli said with drops of sadness mixing into her voice. She was grateful for dancing with her but frustrated that she knew things about her best friend that she didn't for over a month.

"You know Steven talked about you nonstop, but wouldn't let us meet for the longest of times. He only said good things too and when I'd ask to meet you or for us to all hang out he'd just avoid it. Like say sure then that night would be another night with Pearl and them. I think he felt guilty, that you didn't know." Peridots statement was calm, relaxing the urges to run away but instead take the blows. It was true that for a while within the last month that Steven wasn't even visiting Lapis but being as busy as she was she ignored it.

"I'll have to go smack that kid the next time I see him for not introducing us sooner," finally breaking away Lazuli gave a wry smile to the girl. "It's a little irritating but you guys are still fine in my book just I need to talk to Steven." Peridots fingers began to intertwine with themselves with her head tilting down to the sand they were walking on.

"Okay I see," Peridot said slightly slowing down as they continued walking, soon enough she wasn't even in the blue haired girls peripherals. Slowly turning her head she saw the blonde stopped just standing there kind of wide eyed. "Uh weird question is this storm going to have thunder," Peridot asked while condensing her body with her shoulders tensing up.

"Yeah, it'll probably start sometime tonight or tomorrow," Lazuli calmly said as she brought herself to a stop.

"Can we watch a few episodes of Camp Pining Hearts when we get home since it's not that late," the blonde asked while finally starting to lift her feet again. It was true since they got there and only hung out at the bar for a few hours it was probably only between nine and ten. For someone like Peridot that does plenty of all-nighters and sleeps late she likely wasn't tired at all. _How much did Peridot drink tonight?_

"Oh yeah sure we can but where did Jasper end up tonight," Lazuli asked as she realized that her good friend had disappeared quite early into the night. Now looking to the girl beside her she could see her expression change from a thinking one to finding the answer. The way she scrunched up her face then the next moment went wide eyed before she spoke was nice. Also only barely visible thanks to the storm causing darkness to envelope the town earlier.

"She went home she said she wasn't feeling it," with that Peridot brought her hands up to make little quotation marks in the air as she spoke. Her head was facing forward maybe even unaware of if Lapis had seen her do that small action.

"Ah she did seem a bit down, I wonder who's that girl that she's upset over," Lapis questioned before dead panning, "do you know her."

"Do I know the giants friend, no she scares me." There was a small amount of honesty present in her voice which was sad to think she was scared of the giant teddy bear.

"You're just scared because she's like three times your height," Lapis said letting a small laugh escape her.

"That could be part of it," She uttered quietly. With that the front of their home was once again within view. They both climbed the stairs with the blue haired girl setting a hand over the blondes shoulder seeming to ease her up them a little bit easier.

"Hey are you hungry, I didn't end up eating or really drinking at the bar. Want me to grab us some drinks and food," Lazuli asked as she began to peruse the kitchens drawers.

"Sure," Peridot yelled back as the sounds of the TV coming to life could be heard from the kitchen.

While stir frying chicken with some vegetables then putting it over rice sounded pretty good it would also take longer than twenty minutes. Instant food seemed a bit better as she began opening up the freezer before she could shout back to Peridot. "Hey are you alright if we cook up one of your Pizza's, if not it'll be like half an hour before foods ready."

"I got large Pizzas for a reason, I can't eat that by myself," Peridot had shouted back playfully. Something about her helped ease Lapis, just twenty minutes ago the world felt like it was falling once again and Peridot helped. Though tomorrow she did need to have a talk with Steven, maybe one with Connie too, while Steven and Connie were together for a long time Connie and Lapis did know each other.

Setting the oven to the right temperature and setting the pizza out ready for whenever it heated up before leaving to the other side of the room. The blanket was held open with an easy entrance to the inside. "Man we're getting pretty far into this show what is this like the fourth season," Lazuli questioned.

"Something like that, we only have two more DVDs left before we have to somehow acquire the rest. " I guess there are several reasons to visit Steven now.

Half way through the first episode the oven beeped calling for attention. A three meat pizza, quite a bit of greasy food but also made it quite a bit more filling. Shoving it into the steely oven, before turning back to walk over to the paused show. Peridot always looked so curious about things, whether she knew what was happening or not. That expression may be curious to her but joy to Lapis.

"After this episode we can eat," Lapis slowly placed herself beside the blond once again. The rain and wind was penetrating the house surrounding them rippling through the air every now and again. As she sat down the TV joined in on the noises across the house too.

"Sounds good to me," Peridot said followed by a yawn while stretching her hands into the air. For once in the summer it actually felt a bit chilly, drawing closer together to be a bit warmer. As the episode played on it was noticeable that they were practically touching but the blonde wasn't shuffling away or anything like that, maybe it's okay. Over the course of finishing off the episode urges to set her arms around Peridot were beginning to show up.

"That was a pretty good episode," the blue haired girl said content and comfortable with them being confined beneath the blanket together. "I'm going to get the pizza you set up the next episode," Lapis finished off the sentence questioning the face right beside hers. Looking eye to eye they froze, Peridot was unmoving and Lapis didn't want to break this, it seemed so right.

"We're pretty close huh," Peridot asked not breaking the contact with slow spoken words. Maybe this was a chance, it wouldn't be a bother to give in if no one rejected it. As thoughts were circling her mind she finally had decided on what to do.

"Yeah because you're so warm," lazily said as she wrapped her arms around the blonde and embraced her in a close hug. Keeping her arms around her back wrapping around to her sides, just above her hips, with no resistance. Peridot didn't fight it she just sat there accepting the embrace.

"You're cold," putting extra emphasis on the end of her sentence she questioned the unmoving girl.

"Yep, I've wanted to just snuggle up to you this whole time." _Soft, warm, her hair feels a lot nicer than I expected._ Hair gently brushed into her face it was soft like the blanket laying just above their laps, the blondes body also had plenty of warmth coming from it. It felt like something that hadn't been felt in forever, maybe it, and it was… safety.

"Well apparently you are," Peridot exclaimed as if a little bit fed up with the actions taking place. Finally Peridot began to push her away, it took several attempts before Lazuli finally let go leaving to the kitchen. Perfect timing as the oven obstructed the winds echo's with an obnoxious beep.

Putting on the oven gloves looking back into the other room the blonde was perched over by the DVD player. Lazy eyes glazed over from the kitchen to the living room, drawing them away after a few breaths to actually accomplish something. Thoughts colliding fast as she thought about the previous events, no regrets for them. Cutting the pizza into six pieces fitting perfectly across two different plates. Slowly dragging out two plates to the table before returning to the kitchen and grabbing one last essential.

"It's cheap beer but might as well have a few." Bringing out the whole six pack with a bottle opener in the other hand, laying it out in the middle of the table.

"Uh okay," quietly she spoke back. They both uncapped a beer and began to watch the next episode close as they were last time.

Time went by quickly as they drank a few beers each and finished a few more episodes. While Lapis was blinking her eyes in and out of consciousness, Peridot seemed to be fine curled into a small ball. The final episode came to an end and even if a bit early maybe it was time for bed as she got up to turn off the show the sky lit up. Loud thunder rung overhead destroying the winds sound as if it was nothing. To follow that noise a loud shriek behind Lapis was heard before she could turn her head and look

Wide eyed with hands covering the side of her head, tiny shakes were given off before the pupils could focus back. They gazed up at the only one standing in a petrified defeat, it almost looked as if the blonde could cry.

"Peridot," Lapis shrieked out as she walked back over to the girl on the couch." Are you alright," questioning as she drew close to the unmoving girl.

"I really," with a deep breathe in-between words." Hate thunder," she said barely audible to the girl slowly getting closer. Lazuli sat down beside her and made sure to keep a slow pace to not startle her any further until her arms once again wrapped around her.

"Do you want to stay here for a bit," Lazuli softly asked as she ran her fingers through her hair. Once again the soft texture was there but maybe this time she could help Peridot feel how she made her feel, _safe._ During the calm between booms light green eyes flickered up to the deep blue ones before a small nod was shown. The nod almost looked as if it went back into her body with her chin squeezing herself tighter.

Another boom spread across the house, it sounded as if it would shake the earth but instead only shook the blonde as she rattled down beneath her bone. Maybe someday she would understand what caused her to act this way from some natural phenomenon but until then maybe she could share. Slowly they switched positions until Peridot faced Lapis neck and chest area with her back to the couch. They laid together with a blanket covering up to the nose of the shorter one and a hand just above that calmly caressing her head with small words taking up time.

"Want to hear a story about how Greg and I became family," Lapis asked as another yellow flicker smothered the house filling the cracks of darkness. With a shell of fear one thing remained potent about the small girl, it might have been sad and scared but she still had eyes of curiosity as she nodded her head burying it along the blue haired girls shoulder.

"Well I didn't have the best family life, my mother was abusive and my father died in an accident when I was only a sophomore." Peridot unlatched her face from the base of her shoulder to look up scared of the story unfolding before her. "It's not the happiest story but maybe it'll distract you a little bit, it's the best I got." Honesty in her voice as she spoke that caressed the air that was already fill with a frantic aura. "We lived in a nice house until then, she, my mom managed to get a home so that I could still go to the same school."

"Is it okay for me to hear this," Peridot asked finally breaking away from being a mute. She had care in her face almost as much as the still present fear.

"Yeah, yeah, this is in the past and I'm not going to go into too much detail for this part just some stuff you'd need to know."

"Okay."

"Well pretty much Steven and I met freshman year and he forced me to become his best friend. When the accident happened, he was there for me and eventually figured out what was happening behind the scenes. When I kept coming to school in baggy clothes in the start of summer and stopped swimming was the first sign. The last sign was a black eye and several cuts across my body. Steven took it to his parents and eventually they made a case against her and then adopted me." It was hard to tell the story, like claws scraping her throat the words began to tear along the way out, until a deep breath set her straight.

"Well at first I didn't speak to any of them besides Steven," She began telling her about their secret hang out spot and the wonderful stories she heard. Maybe an hour had went by of constant words and constant petting of her head and Peridot had stopped shaking a while ago but changed. Whenever a boom would be heard she would shutter and be comforted and within few moments seemed to be back to ease. The couch wasn't the most comfortable, nearly falling off anytime she would make an expression with her hands along the air.

"Sorry for invading your personal space by the way," Lapis mentioned slowly shifting from Peridots head to scratch the back of hers in the pitch black room.

"Sorry for being a wuss." Neither of them denied each other of what they just said but sat in a comfortable quiet. It was a little bit bothersome not knowing if Peridot was really bothered by them laying side by side but then again she hadn't really resisted it much at all. Silence had set in besides the wind still howling.

Another few hours had passed and miraculously had stayed awake even though she had been on the verge and the other party member had fallen asleep. Once again she had failed to get drunk due to only drinking a few beers and it wearing off by now but it was like a different high. She knew what it was and was failing to defend herself against the weakness inside of her. Knowledge of the crush that was crushing her ability to think rationally laid right beside her asleep with weak breaths. How easy it would be to steal away those lips with hers along the night without giving any knowledge to the blonde of it happening.

 _I guess it could be time for me to give in, maybe Steven did win._ Her thoughts were fighting both sides at once trying to reason it out why it happened and whether it was okay for happening. Moving her head forward until it met Peridots head briefly kissing her forehead. With her weakened resolve her body gave into one last thing that night and it was sleep, closed the blinds of her eyes shutting out the world. Beside her laid warmth but on the inside contained cold along with the storm surrounding their lives.

Pitch black envelopes everything in the end just like tonight her dreams surrounded her.

Warmth was the first sensation along the core of her body then next was the texture of skin as she moved her hand from the foreign object in front to her own body. Shuttering her eyes open and shut a few times before even beginning to try and focus. An abundant amount of green lay just underneath her head almost as if in a tiny ball while they were covered by a red blanket.

 _Oh yeah, that was a thing that happened last night…_ slowly laying her arm back around the girl beside her and beginning to rest her eyes once more. _I guess I fell asleep down here, eh that's alright. Do I wake her up?_ Along with the small amount of rustling Lazuli was causing the tiny ball began to move as well carrying a bit less life as a small amount of eye was shown.

"Morning sunshine," Lazuli said keeping her arm rested just on the waist of the blonde girl. They both wore all their clothes but much different expressions, as Peridot seemed unamused Lazuli wore a large grin with a tired face.

"Ten more minutes," Peridot yawned out as she began turning away to face the couch. As the grin faded away into a look of shock as she looked at the girls back confused at the lack of response to their peculiar situation.

"Okay," Lazuli responded while adjusting herself to reach for her phone she set on the floor before she fell asleep. Clicking it on it was only eight in the morning with a likely hood of being over eight hours of sleep she didn't really need anymore. Drawing her body partially up noticing her hand stranded behind a desert of hair just ahead. That was all the convincing she needed, pulling her body forward till it couldn't anymore she laid holding her once again.

Came a small voice just from the wall on the couch suppressed by sounds of rain and wind still, "Are you going to snore again?" Once again shock set on her face before she noticed the small snickers.

"I don't snore," Lazuli responded calmly bringing a hand along her side.

"You were louder than the storm outside jeez," with her laughs getting more prominent.

"That's why you passed out half way through my story, I don't even know if you heard it all."

"Hey I heard it all, it was really freaking sad," Peridot shouted back defensively. She turned back her body until finally they faced each other once again. With only a few inches between their faces.

"Sorry I couldn't think of anything else," said lowering her voice a bit too.

"You speak of the worse things at the weirdest of times, you said a sad story when I was already sad." Her nasally voice raised a little bit but she wore a smile on her face.

"Apparently I scared you enough to sleep with me." Lapis was testing the water checking how the girl would respond curiously.

"Yeah that's what it was," Peridot said back making a face. A few awkward moments pass before the final words could surface the final regrets.

"Did it bother you," she questioned dragging her face up looking away from the girl not wanting to see her response.

"From what sleeping near you," not wanting to answer the blue haired girl stayed quiet just hoping for a good response. "Thanks, I would have been scared to death by myself. Although you did get strangely touchy feely with me." Feeling her face go red with the odd mention of her affection.

"Just trying to comfort you since you were practically crying." Lapis was frantically trying to find words to say as her mind felt like it was flying away from her.

"Was not, I was just shaking." She sounded almost proud, it may have been the fact she didn't seem to cry but being proud of that was quite odd.

"Yeah so thunder and lightning aren't quite your thing," Lazuli questioned still laying there staring at her eyes. The green was like a neon gem green that mixed with yellow as it went to the pupil, surrounding it were almost straight lines of color.

"No I've been that way since I could remember."

"Well we should probably get up now," Lazuli said putting her hands beneath her to raise her into a sitting positon. Peridot just curled up until she could pull her feet to the other end of the couch and raise herself up to. "Any plans for the day?"

"Yeah I'm going to hang out with Amethyst I think." When she spoke that name questions began to arise about those two. _They knew each other before hand but how closely._

"Ah are you guys' pretty good friends," Lapis asked while looking at her legs resting on the couch.

"Yeah, she's probably my best friend out of that group, I mean she actually talked to me quite a bit when Steven first introduced us. Pearl was ugh, she's how she is, frustrating you know and the other two are obsessed with each other but Amethyst showed me around here a little bit." Peridot seemed to be genuinely fondly looking back at the memories that couldn't even be two months ago.

"Really your best friend eh," Lazuli questioned as she shoveled back reason in her mind with doubt.

"She's so cool, I can't believe you guys don't hang out as much as you do, I mean Pearl can be a bit of a bummer but besides that. I mean she's fun and you're fun I really don't get why you guys are so separate. Steven told me that one you had problems with someone in the group, is that Pearl," Peridot questioned loudly seeming to be quite happy about this conversation.

"She's a bit annoying to me but I'm glad you enjoy her company. I have problems with Amethyst she's kind of my ex." The words felt like sludge being poured over her tongue leaving her mind with a bad taste of old memories.

"Ooh," With a bit of a pause in between with neither of them wanting to say words. "Well why did you guys break up, she had to have been a satisfactory mate." Those odd words were usually cute whenever they were thrown in but this was an acceptation this was misery.

"Eh we weren't meant for each other." _She wasn't ready for someone like me and I don't need her she's better off with pearl taking care of her messes anyways._

"Huh odd well I hope you guys can become friends again, you're both cool people."

"Ah," Lapis calmly responded while raising herself up. _Don't even start, don't even start, don't even start, they're just friends and you know that._ Her thoughts were beating each other down until it became like torture peeling off her thoughts like skin. After fully being raised and looking at the floor it was a final moment inside welling up as if a geyser set with plenty of pressure. "Do you want to date her, if so I know a bit about her," quickly cursing her words internally after they were relinquished.

"Uh what," Peridot asked with her voice growing loud with suspicion. The rustling behind must have meant that she stood up and was possibly walking away now or finding something better to do. With a mind going crazy over what shouldn't be said so rashly Lapis was confined to her own space until something else would say it's okay to move.

"Oh just wondering." _Yeah not because I just came to terms last night and am fully okay with going out with you, no because that'd be stupid._ Footsteps could be heard approaching slightly while words were not being minced with the razor blades floating through the air of tension. It cut, each moment cut away at the will to stand there, it was painful to think that within such a quick moment she could say something that irrational.

"No I don't want to date her, she's just a friend, are you alright Lapis," with that a slight pressure was put on her elbows to see a concerned face looking up to her.

"Perfectly fine, I'm going to go see Steven though he has a lot of explaining, I might be back late tonight though."

"Oh okay, well just going to say you're acting weird." _Yeah I only just slept right beside you comforting you all night and now am questioning if you have feelings for another girl that is a bit strange._ Sarcasm flowed through the trenches of her mind.

Pulling herself away she ran up to her room for a quick change of clothes and a wallet to keep her pockets company. After changing and running back down stairs Peridot was nowhere to be seen within that short amount of time. Maybe in her room getting changed to go to Amethysts or could have already left in that same outfit.

After going through the metal door and facing the stairs she looked up to the sky. Tears of the sky fell along in copious amounts while wind was resisting the urge to be as strong as the day before. No longer having lighting pouring down with an accompaniment of thunder to sing along with the battle that is the sky. With one final large breath she left, running down the stairs and running along the beach with confidence only in the fact of reaching Stevens but in not much else.


	9. Tearful relations

Notes: I have made a Tumblr so if you feel like talking or looking at art I'm making for this AU then feel free to check it out. heres the new chapter have a good one guys. (adojoa is the tumblr) Had to reupload chapter because of it not showing link, Thanks Kristina for pointing out that it didn't save the link. Apparently links don't work well on here so just putting my username.

Breath was being distributed at a higher pace than earlier, once her jog had come to an end outside of Steven's house. It'd be the first time she'd set foot in there in a long time, she helped them move when they went to that house but not much else once they offered the other one to her. Her outfit was drenched from the rain and her temperature felt as if it plummeted below zero and the sweat forming underneath her layers of clothes didn't help. She was soaked all the way through after that run.

Reaching through the grainy pockets to retrieve her dark blue brick of a phone. While it was a smart phone it was an older model, slowly tracing her shaking hands across the smooth surface. Inaccuracy corrupting her hands as she sloppily brought up Stevens profile, the cold was sending numbness across her body. It wasn't the good numbness, the unwanted numbness that was aggravating to watch its affects because you'd remember it for the rest of the day.

A few rings rumbled across her ears before a loud voice took place. "Hey Lapis," it felt as if this conversation was placed in two different mind sets. Truth for one and a facade of joy left in the voice of the other member.

"Hey I decided to stop by are you home," she questioned while trying not to unearth the reason for her visit.

"You're at my house, whaaaaaaaaat," Steven yelled back sounding truly shocked. "Come on in the doors unlocked," Steven said full of joy. Lapis had already been moving towards the front of the house that had a wooden type patio with a staircase leading to the front door. The floor was slightly slippery as she carefully took each step trying not to spill her body onto the ground.

"I'll talk to you soon Steven." She let out a low voice quickly hanging up the phone once at the door.

The dark wooden door quickly flung out with just a turn of the knob to reveal a large spacious room with two people sitting on chairs near the center. Greg and his wife rose, rose had long pink locks that spun spirals descending down her back and was about the same height as Greg. Greg who was a little over six feet tall wore his usual white tank top with some jean shorts. Their expressions altered from a calm conversation to a frantic confusion.

"Lapis," Greg let out in confusion while bringing his hand up to block the wind soaring through the house. Rose also had her hair being blown around by the wind but had brought her arms across each other with more of a caring look then curious by that point.

"Where's Steven," trying to stay right on the point to escape this place fast. As she asked that Rose had got up and started walking towards her with an unchanging face.

"He's kind of out getting some snacks," Greg said with a light chuckle. With the door finally closed the wind had stopped but Rose hadn't with her final step being less than a foot away.

"Come here," holding out her arms with lowering her face towering over the young blue haired girl. Moments go by not closing the distance until Rose forces the distance shut herself with a tight embrace with her height leaving her arms around her shoulders. It was warm and sweet and felt unbelievable to Lapis whose thoughts were concerned with the turmoil she's put them through.

"Hello Rose," Lapis slowly said as she felt the weight of care resting along her shoulders and mind. Slowly giving in and bringing her arms up as well to rest around the sides, Lazuli's face left in an uninterested disdain afraid of her own thoughts. _What if she's just hiding it, what if she does hate me, I ruined things for them._ "When will he be back," Lapis questioned almost sounding if she was talking to herself.

"Don't worry about it, he'll be back eventually," Rose calmly said as she continued to hold Lapis. Another few moments went by with Lapis feeling the urge to cry well up inside of her, each moment part of her façade she built to this place lost layers. Starting to take deep breaths from her own emotions rather than the cold that couldn't pierce her thoughts at this moment. "Oh goodness dear we need to get you out of those clothes you're soaking."

With that Rose separated with wide open eyes, looking up and down the shivering girl in front of her. The girl who just had her only warmth in the last half an hour leave her. "I'll be fine don't worry, it's just a little water." With that Rose had already ran up the stairs on the other side of the house, likely to their bedroom to fish out an outfit. That outfit however would likely be three times the size of the stick thin Lapis due to height and weight differences.

"So is everything alright kid, I mean you are here," Greg said with concern lavishing his voice. Greg slowly got up from his spot clearly letting his years of change show on his mannerisms with having to put arms on his legs as he lifted as if support beams. He slowly started walking to the edge of the house.

"Yeah I found out about Steven and Connie though," Lapis was being honest to them, if he hadn't been honest to the people he saw every day then this was bad. Greg didn't stop moving at the mention of Connie and instead just started picking up some fire wood.

"Man that poor kid he's trying everything to get her back," his voice was unchanging showing the fact he knew about it. Slowly throwing firewood into their fire place that seemed to be at a low ember, the house reminded her slightly of hers with a bit more wide open space. There wasn't walls between the kitchen and the living room in this house either, maybe it was a preference.

"When did he tell you," Lapis asked through shaking teeth with her damp body getting to her more and more each second. She stayed where she initially got hugged however not wanting to drag water across the house. Behind her she could feel the crevice at the bottom and side of the door pushing in cold air along her back.

"Well it's kind of hard not to tell when he came home crying and didn't want to talk about it for several days. I mean coming home was the first big clue you know, he was spending a lot of days at Connie we thought they'd move in together."

"I see," unable to find words Lapis forced out all she could think of while sounds from upstairs rumbled at them. Foot step after foot step running down the stairs was easily heard. With it a Giant pink dress was shone along with the lady wearing it, along her other arm a long blue dress, a towel and a black jacket. Memories of distant things resurfaced with the girl reentering the room with a large smile along her face.

"Change into these sweety," Rose said holding out the clothes and the towel with a huge smile. "You always forget things, you left these and a few other things since you moved out just like always."

"Oh thanks, I'll be right back," Slowly walking off to the bathroom with a brief hunch of where one would be with only one small hallway.

"Take your time," Rose cheerfully shouted off in her direction. "Oh yes It'll be the first door on the left before the stairs."

Opening the door that held many streaks of wooden grain and that feeling rubbing off onto her hands almost unnoticeable to the persistence of cold. With the flicker of the lights turning on a large mirror taking up half the room shown back her miserable self. It was so happy here, they were so kind but she was cold and here to find out why her friend had lied to her for a month. The floor had Tiles along it on which taking off her shoes she felt them quite well.

Throwing her clothes over the empty towel rack starting with her socks. Running in jeans is very uncomfortable almost as uncomfortable as trying to take them off, each moment sticking to her skin resisting departure. Her shirt seemed to try and copy her pants with sticking to her skin for the final up heave to throw it off, with an actual urge to throw them for the trouble they caused. Left with one final problem, clothes that she didn't have spares given to her by Rose, to go commando or not.

After dispatching her last bit of clothing she slowly rung herself off with the towel. Having not only a jacket she could zip up and a long dress made the decision not as harsh as it could have been. Slowly bringing the towel through her hair as if to calm herself until she looked in the mirror. When had been the last time she colored her hair, let alone got a haircut. Dark black strands of hair slowly fading into blue making her hair more so half of each, was a bit distracting to look at once she caught it herself.

Making a mental note to recut and dye her hair again within the next couple of days, then again she might just push it off like she did every other time she thought about it but this time it was more than just roots of darkness. Throwing the dress over her shoulders and slowly wriggling into it before looking in the mirror, it showed just her arms but her stomach was still noticeable. With one more attempt to cover herself she threw on her black jacket that concealed everything on her torso.

The instinct to the clothes contacting her skin was colder as they had just been introduced to the contact of heat once again. Her arms slowly adjusted as the Jacket began to warm up along with the dress and her new dry body. These past few days had been long days off not feeling as if any break from stress in her life. With one last deep breath she left the bathroom turning the light off and closing the door once more.

Walking over to the other people on the side of the room with a fire place. It was now a healthy height instead of the embers previously. They were welcoming with now warm smiles on their faces as she approached.

"Where are your clothes," Rose asked as Lapis walked just within the range to feel the heat from the fire.

"On the towel rack in the bathroom." Crossing her arms in an attempt to gain more warmth, it wasn't working as well as she would have liked.

"Why don't we throw those in the drier and we can put your shoes by the fire place," Rose asked while beginning to walk away.

"It'll be fine," Lapis said in a low voice not really wanting to either leave her clothes here or carry them back that damp. It was a battle she was willing to lose with only putting up a paper wall to hold back Rose's kindness, it failed. As Rose had entered the bathroom a few short giggles could be heard before she left it.

"See I forgot to give you somethings, sorry," Rose said before walking into a room nearby out of sight once again.

"Some things," Greg questioned looking at Lapis for a bit curious to what she meant by that.

"Nothing," Lapis coldly spoke back, aware of what she meant and a little uncomfortable to have those in her hands.

"Feeling a bit better kid," Greg questioned understanding that his curiousity would never be solved from Lapis at the very least.

"It's a bit better, these clothes still fit real well surprisingly."

"Why have you grown," Greg asked jokingly while slowly sitting himself down by the fire.

"Yeah that's what it is," Lapis dead panned back not willing to start joking quite yet, still a little bit on guard on what to say to him. She could be rude to him of all people because she was scared of how he cared for her like a daughter, something someone else couldn't do anymore.

"You know we've both missed you, you should stay over for a bit tonight, it's movie night," His voice got a bit louder as he finished his sentence with excitement. Movie night was something that happened a lot when Lapis moved in and slowed down as they ran lower on income but still happened at least once a week or so.

"I don't know Greg I really only came over to figure out what's happening with Steven," Lapis said trying to avoid unnecessary time stuck there.

"We'll if you change your mind then we'll be happy to have you," he said slowly scratching the back of his head. While their conversation was coming to an end Rose had reentered the room with a large smile splayed across her face.

"You're staying for dinner at the very least and I won't let you say no to that." Rose had intervened in the conversation likely hearing what Greg had said. She was practically bouncing with each step before she turned away and started walking towards the kitchen. "Here I'm going to make us something to drink real quick." Before Lapis could object she had practically cleared the distance to the kitchen and was already pulling out something from the fridge.

"Uhm okay, I guess I can do that," Lapis said unsure if the pink haired woman could hear her from the distance between them. Greg was idly watching the fire with his hands holding him up as he leaned back maybe two feet from touching the fire. Witnessing the restfulness in his face she decided to give in too, slowly pulling her body down being weary of her dress.

"I guess it's nice down here," she breathed out while pulling her legs up to wrap her arms around them. The warmth was finally starting to actually dig beneath her layers of clothes and warm her as the moments passed by. Greg had slowly brought out his guitar and was doing some light strumming while Rose was bustling around the kitchen, if she had one of her sketch books in hand this would be the same as it used to be.

Eventually Rose had come out with a small plate with three cups on them with a smell rested easily across the home. It was cocoa a sweet aroma tempting to a cold day as such, the storm was giving a nice break from the heat and into different seasonal enjoyments. As she brought the cup down to Lapis she investigated it further, mini marshmallows swam around in the cup, and it was nice.

"For old times' sake, will you help me with dinner tonight Lapis," Rose asked politely drawing her further into the web of keeping her here. She was sitting just behind Lapis in a nice chair it was quite cozy and Lazuli couldn't keep it when they moved out.

"I can do that," Lapis said drawing her head up and closing her eyes feeling the heat resting on her eyelids coming through. They spent a decent amount of time with guitar strumming and a few times switching between who would play until finally the door opened with a drenched Steven shivering.

"Hey guys," Steven said with his teeth rapidly hitting each other signaling to everyone else how cold he was. Rose got up looking worried as she rushed over to Steven. He Held a small back of groceries which was quickly dropped by the door to hold his sides.

"Hey there buddo, look a bit drippy," Greg said holding the back of his head looking towards the door. Lapis had slowly brought the guitar down to lay it in front of Greg, when it touched the floor it made a soft noise due to the care in placing it. Drawing Greg's attention he picked up the guitar and slowly picked himself up as well to put it away and give his attention to his son.

"Yeah, it's been raining a little bit," Steven said as he began stripping off his shoes and socks.

"Go put your stuff in the laundry room we can throw it in the drier later also Lapis is staying for movie night," Rose said slowly pushing his back towards the washer and dryer.

"Really, I'm so glad Lapis, it's been so long since we've had you over for a movie night, I've really missed it," Steven was ecstatic forcing Rose to stop pushing him as he turned to give a huge smile to Lapis. Before she could respond he took off leaving it to be just the three of them again as he changed.

"I never said I'd stay," Lapis sighed out knowing she had lost the battle. With Rose staring at her with a smile, knowing she had won and hopefully gotten Lapis to stay for dinner and a show. While she did have work tomorrow morning it was still pretty early on in the day.

"I'd really appreciate help cleaning up the dishes too, I'll dry them and you can wash them." Rose asked quite sweetly, it was a question with hope that the answer would be yes and damn was it hard to turn down.

"Fine, I don't really have a choice now, but I do have to start heading home before 8 I have work early tomorrow morning." Rose seemed to jump up with the answer holding her hands together. _I guess I'll just spend the whole day over here, It's still within morning time, what time are they going to eat "dinner?"_ Finally walking over to the door to see the small bag full of things like the ice cream bars called cookie cats and a few doughnuts and such. Picking it up and slowly walking over to the kitchen which had Rose wandering around in it.

"How about spaghetti and meat balls with a side of garlic bread tonight," Rose said loudly to herself so that others could object. No words came out to grace her with a disagreement. This seemed like a rather tame dinner with not much effort to be put in surprisingly.

"Are you really going to need my help to make that," Lapis questioned after putting away the cookie cats in the freezer. On a cold day like today Steven still seemed to not be able to resist his favorite snack.

"Yes so you can grade the parmesan cheese I got the block thought it'd be better than those crummy little packages. Also you can see what I season it with then and maybe if you like it you could make it for yourself," Rose said finally leaving the kitchen now that she'd decided. She often would go and search the kitchen early in the day to make sure dinner would be a success and ask around if her ideas were good.

"Alright," Lapis gave in thinking that she knew there had to be something to catch her into this regardless of how simple it seemed. Steven had finally gotten back out to greet everyone with a huge smile and only shaking a little bit. Dry clothes help a lot but it still takes a bit of time to ease off the cold that's settled deep into the bones. _How am I going to talk to him alone, can't go outside and no real good places for privacy here…_

"It's been forever Lapis since you've been here for movie night and tonight's going to be a great one," He said quite loudly walking into the kitchen with her. "We're going to get to watch Dogcopter the fourth, it's supposed to be the best of the series."

"Usually the first ones are the best though Steven," Lapis said lowly watching the kid bouncing around with excitement. The conversation needed to happen but of all days today. "Hey Steven can we talk alone for a bit maybe in the washer and drier room?" Steven's eyes had curiosity staining them reminding her of another face but after a few dull moments he just nodded his head.

They slowly pushed off and walked past the other two adults deep in a loud conversation spewing words left and right. It was friendly with plenty of giggles mixed in their conversation just like a regular day with them, happiness. Passing by the other two didn't seem fazed or to notice them as the approached the slim hallway. Another grain like door pressed open to a small room with tile flooring and giant white washing machines on the right. Bundles of clothing spewed across the floor with baskets fallen over left and right.

"So, what did yah need to talk about," Steven asked slowly closing the door behind him to conceal them to their own conversation. His eyes wondered about the room for a moment before dragging himself over to the washing machine and pulling himself atop it. Sitting with his body facing out to the standing Lazuli.

"We need to talk about some things you said last night," Lazuli sternly said while crossing her arms staring him right in his eyes. His right eye brow raised questioning the statement before, he had to have remembered lapis thought to herself. "What happened between you and Connie," she asked freezing the air around them. The new atmosphere felt like a world separated them as Steven looked down motionless, no more swaying legs.

"Well, kind of a lot of things," Steven's words were quiet as he spoke to the point of sounding like a different person. They were deep with almost no characteristics of his usual speech. "She didn't like it very much that I'd hug a lot of people and stuff like that when I was drunk and she also didn't like that I joked around a bit too much." His face was looking straight at the ground between his legs unable to see whether his eyes were closed or open.

"She used to like when I'd joke around a lot more but the stress of work and then coming home to me messing up on one thing or another really bothered her. She kind of asked for a break from dating me." His words were beginning to slow down like a stream that was beginning to be blocked by an emotional dam. "I kept trying to get her back though," He finally let out.

"Is that why there were flowers in the car when you drove us home the first night at the bar," Lapis asked drawing her memory back to that day. It was one of the few things that night that stuck with her and that didn't bother her. Dancing, facing regrets and finally flowers.

"Yeah I tried giving them to her before we met up but it was hard to get her to even see me and she didn't accept them. So after I spent a bit of time trying to get them to her, she didn't want them and did actually have to work that night. Then I came and grabbed you," word after word felt as if a slug getting salt poured onto it, killing the once curious mood. Heart break for a friend is possible and it can hurt, distrust and anything along those lines may be evident but those are just minor pains in comparison.

"Why didn't you tell me," Lazuli finally questioned feeling as if tears could fall from her eyes while forcing her friend to relive the one thing causing him pain recently. Deep breaths were heard from both sides having the floor be the only sight either of them saw, that and their feet stationary. Neither one of them daring to move while the conversation dwindled on spacing out each word with heavier breaths.

"I… I… just," more breaths leaving the sentence to stabilize each moment with noise of a small bang. Likely the sound from his hands leaving his body to hold himself still on the washing machine. "Didn't want you to feel bad anymore," With one more great breath he finished his words. Leaving them sitting in the atmosphere completely tearing apart doubt and distrust into an amalgamation of sadness. Leaving free falling tears for both parties now evident as all they could see were their feet and the tiles just beneath them.

"You're already having a hard enough time," his words kept flowing choppily between exhales, inhales and shudders.

 _You should know I want to be there for you,_ Lapis thought to herself begging her body to look up to no prevail. "I care about you Steven," She finally ushered out, each word feeling as if hollowed out just like the feeling building in her chest. Finally taking the blows head on it felt as if falling off a cliff the hollow feeling in a chest. It was unreal the feeling of a whole month of distance wrapped up into one heartache.

"I know," he said with a inhaling through his runny nose, it had been a month but it still tore at the boy enough to draw tears. It had been a month and he was still trying to protect Lapis over himself. It had been their friendship that drove them apart for the past month, yet it was the friendship that kept them together.

"Anyways she just wants a break right," Lapis losing hope as she dragged her head up to once again look at her breaking friend. "She'll be back right Steven," wide eyed she looked desperately searching for a change of pace a movement anything. As a small voice was coming out of his mouth her heart dropped.

"She says she doesn't know anymore after the flowers," Steven admitted causing an eruption on both ends. The tears burned her eyes as the spilled and rubbing them away just buried her fist into her eye sockets causing more pain. It hurt the words hurt and her bodies' reaction hurt along with the first step. Moving forward hurt, the mental weight made each step heavy as she drew near. Finally with barely any distance between them she opened her arms, burying her friend in a hug.

They cried together, so much care had come from Steven persuading himself that each day was another day to hold off on hurting a friend. It would hurt anyone to see a friend broken hearted but it wouldn't hurt them to bottle it up as those weeks turned into a month. A whole month of not knowing left distaste until it was found in a good nature. Steven's large hands were wrapped around Lapis' back while resting his face along her collar bone.

"It's okay Steven everything is going to work out in the end," even if they should didn't know whether to believe that or not it needed to be said. His back was soft along with the shirt he wore, it felt comfortable against her skin. After a solid five minutes of hugging they finally eased back to both look at each other.

A mess in front of each of them from the running nose to puffy eyes and casual words thrown back and forth with a small fake smile. The rooms light was a little eerie to have hanging over them with a dull light but at least there was enough light to see each other. Shoving off the washing machine Steven was now standing just below her trying to smile back.

Before they left the room they agreed on one thing and that was to wait a moment. Turning into another conversation about attempts to conceal feelings, for love to show on another end. Dumbfounded at actually winning in a contest for once they sat and discussed how the living arrangement had changed over Lazuli's mind.

She described about how she had used Peridot several times to talk about what was bothering her and why it was bothering her and how free it had made her feel. Steven agreed telling Lapis about how he had told Peridot since she moved in only a few days prior and how nice it was to have an outside source someone that it didn't mattered if they judged. Talking about anything else was a good device to take their minds off of the previous feelings they harbored.

Looking back into each other's faces and laughing at how terrible they looked before finally exiting the room. They spent a good chunk of the day running around the house talking about their lives over the past month while sipping on cocoa here and there. They also ended up eating few snacks that Steven had brought from the store until a loud yell sounded through the house. It was Rose asking for Lapis to help her once more with dinner for old time's sake.

The room had a grater left along with some cheese and a cutting board on one side and a large lady on the other bustling through the kitchen cooking. It smelt of onions and tomato sauce along with an assortment of seasonings as she picked up to cheese to tear it apart. Greg was out in the living room playing his guitar while Steven accompanied him with his ukulele.

The house was always lively and whenever the family would go out for trips Lapis would rush to be the first one in the house, for once it was quiet. Something that didn't happen much with all three of them having very different schedules. After the cheese was fully taken apart for a satisfactory amount for the four of them she delve deeper into the kitchen.

Opening the cabinet to pull out four large white plates, they each wore flowers along the edge as decorated plates. It was always best to use them only on special occasions to make them more memorable to which today would be worthy. Slowly setting them out along the counter so that everyone once the food was done would be able to grab their own amount.

Rose started paying attention to the music more so than the food she was making as she started singing along to the tunes they produced. In this moment in time it'd be nice to draw the family together with a small corner to put Lapis but instead a light smile and humming along would suffice. If it was just Steven she would sing her heart out but it was a genuinely beautiful moment as a family she couldn't ruin

"Dance with me," Rose said holding her hand out to Lapis abandoning the stove. She had snuck up on Lazuli with a bit of a surprise she took her hand and they began to dance to the music. Spinning Lapis around and taking the lead wasn't very surprising due to her height and it had been a known fact that this childish family could keep up with abnormal things. With a spin underneath Rose's arm she then dipped her shoulders back to be caught held up by one arm.

Everyone busts out laughing leaving Lapis stuck nearly falling over till both of them lose their balance and tumble around a bit regaining their footing. Once both of them are secured Rose let go and ran back to the boiling pot of sauce stirring that and the noodles on the other side. While Lapis went over to the Garlic bread pulling it out and cutting it into proper slices.

"How about today we eat while watching the movie so you can get more sleep tonight Lapis," Rose asked as everyone started to gather around the kitchen.

"Okay that works for me," Lapis said as Greg and Steven both agreed loudly marching up to the plates. Within a few moments everyone had their food and were out on the couch or chairs eating while watching a movie. Lapis preferred to sit on the floor so that others could have the chair and so that it had some distance from others. Often part way through movies Steven would jump off the chair excited and join her below on the floor.

Part way through the movie Lapis collected everyone's plates and left for the kitchen looking back she could still see the television. With a bit of soap brushing each of the dishes under burning water scrubbing them of all their debris before putting them in the drier. Turning her back on the TV when she felt as if the dialogue didn't need to be seen. Steven made it quite easy to tell when you needed to watch versus when you didn't thanks to him yelling whenever something peculiar happened.

Relaxing while washing dishes in a friendly house with… family. It was dark and the soft texture of hard wood flooring into the kitchen was great, as she was finishing up the dishes on the last cup of cocoa she saw Steven look back. He was gesturing her to come back to the show with them, waving his hands back and forth with the loud television playing in the back ground.

So she did, return sitting at the foot of Steven's chair while few more explosions played on screen and mouths opened to comment on how the graphics have changed over the years. With the movie eventually coming to an end and Steven shooting up shouting about how great it was.

"Man did you see that final explosion like pew," Steven shouted leaving everyone to scoot slightly away from the noise.

"Yeah but I think it rode a bit too much on graphics compared to the story it used to have," Lapis calmly responded. That left Steven motionless to think of the scenes they had just watched with a more composed mind.

It was a great night but it had to come to an end at last, Rose had sat up and offered her a ride home to which Steven was willing to take her. They got to the door ready to leave with one last sweet good bye from the family, Rose came up to her and wrapped her in a big hug leaving Greg just outside of it. Warmth of a body with the softness being pressed all around her of arms, it was peaceful with only one intrusion.

Greg had sent his hand in covering the top of Lazuli's head petting her briefly before they said their good byes. Lapis had allowed all of this without even glaring at them as a fake defiance but instead openly accepted it. She lightly hugged Rose back not willing to show all of her true colors to them. With an awkward look over to Greg lightly shuffling her shoulders before they reentered the rain.

It was cold once again as they ran off to the van, since all around them is the beach they left their car at the start of the side walk a quick walk from the house roughly an eight of a mile. On the way Steven had blocked his head with his arms while Lapis just ran only drenching most of their clothes. It had slowed down a bit.

The ride had been a warm presence of both of them talking for the most of it while it was a short drive.

"Hey Lapis my family is going down to the barn and we wanted to invite Peridot and you," Steven asked while they were coming to a stop.

"Uh sure what days," Lapis asked not willing to open the door until it was fully discussed. Seeming to understand Steven set the car into park while they discussed.

"Well it would be in around two weeks would a weekend work with you guys," Steven said knowing very well that those days were hardest to get both off but that Sadie could be easily persuaded. As in she cared a lot for Lapis and would be willing to do it just if she asked but two weekends within a month was a bit much.

"Sure I can try, will anyone else be coming," Lapis asked knowing very well that usually these events had lots of friends. Last time it was all of Pearls group along with some relatives of Stevens which got the barn a little more than close when it came to sleeping. That time was only last for Lapis though since the breakup she hadn't wanted to go ruining Pearl and Amethyst trip.

"Just you guys and maybe Jasper and his girl if she can convince her to come out too. Ooooh yeah and maybe Pearl, just Pearl." Steven was clearly excited as his smile stood strong against Lapis' undecided decision. Maybe it was clear to him that she missed it out there in the wild or the large lake near it, but this was a chance to finally return.

"Sounds good to me, just pearl though," Lapis questioned unaware of why the other three couldn't make it.

"Yeah Amethyst doesn't want to this time around her works getting a bit busy, Ruby and Sapphire actually already have plans." Steven understood the confusion with yet another trip that the duo wouldn't show up to and the usual party animal not coming along.

"Alright good night Steven I needa get to sleep now," Lapis said quickly opening the door to rain and cold letting him reciprocate the good night ritual before closing the door. That was the end of her night as she rushed up stairs to the living room and then to bed without seeing Peridot on the way.


	10. Persistent Love

Several days had passed since she went to Steven's, they had started texting each other on days they wouldn't get to see each other as a sort of updates. Lapis would have to get the next weekend off along with trying to get Peridot to have it off, Peridot had been back to working 24/7 ever since her client got off vacation. She was also pretty sure that Jasper hadn't been told any of the plans either.

In about 20 minutes Sadie would be in the shop helping her open up and get more things cleaned and prepared for the next few days. This would be the first day they worked together since her weekend off. That would be the time to strike, to try and get another weekend off when she had just had one. The storm had finally completely gone over and was back to the warm mornings waking up at five and not even needing to drag the blanket around with her. The shop was warm too along with all the ovens heating up the room.

The sun had been gazing into the bakery for the last hour it felt like, giving a nice light feeling in the middle of her chest. After removing several different assortments of bread from the ovens and beginning to refill all the cases she heard the door close. Slowly drawing her head out of the case to gaze at the front of the door and there she was. Sadie was just switching the sign on the front to tell everyone that it was open

Not any neon sign or anything just a basic piece of paper laminated with open on one side and closed on the other. She then turned and began walking to the front of the desk. Her eyes had large black bags underneath and she wasn't her regular somewhat happy self, she hadn't even spoke a word so far.

"Good morning," Lapis said as Sadie finally reached the front visibly fighting the urge to yawn.

"Good morning Lapis, how was your weekend?" Sadie asked. Lapis sat there for a moment to think over it. Ex, lies, and snuggling Peridot…

"Not too bad, how have you been?" She asked leaning on the counter instead of getting to work. With both them there it would take no time to get all the work done. Sadie seemed to agree as she just began to stretch and stay where she was.

"Not the best, he stood me up again," Sadie said with mounds of sadness in her voice. Her head tilted down as she finished her sentence slightly shaking it as if to forcibly take off the memories of her pain.

"I'm sorry, what happened?" Lazuli asked knowing that Sadie and her relationship were at the point of talking to each other about everything that had went wrong and boy would Sadie have fun listening to her fun weekend. Sadie dragged her head up to meet Lazuli's eyes before she began talking.

"Well we were supposed to go out Saturday to the movies at 630 so I got there at 6 and watched the movie at 7 by myself." She was beginning to move her head a bit more looking off to the side. "Only after the movie did he even bother texting me saying that he wasn't going to make it." Sadie got a little bit louder out of frustration it seemed each moment, until she finished her sentence that seemed to put her on the edge of tears. "He freaking canceled it by saying he didn't want to hang out anymore."

"Jeeez and you still want to date him?" Lapis questioned slowly patting the poor girl on the head. Sadie was strong and it took a lot to put her this far down, she must really be head over heels for this person. This was the third time a date for them hadn't worked out well and wouldn't be the best time to ask if she'd be okay with her taking another weekend off soon.

"Well I mean, he's not a bad guy, he can just be dumb sometimes." _Maybe you're the only one that thinks that too, he doesn't seem that good to me,_ Lapis thought to herself. Sadie began to move to the other side of the counter likely seeing the other trays of bread needing to be filled. "Here let me help you with those," she said picking up a tray and stuffing them. A few moments of silent passed getting most of those trays put away before a low beep was heard signaling more bread to be done.

"I got it," Lapis said leaving Sadie to manage the front end, no one had shown up since Sadie got there so it should be fine. Lapis didn't really want her to deal with customers till she woke up a bit more, for now if she heard that door open she would rush out there. At least the sun would do well for her, another tray of donuts pulled out and it was done. Slowly dragging more product to the front with Sadie stacking up things to bring to the back. "Are you going to be okay to work today," Lapis asked knowing it might be a bit late for it.

"Yeah I'll be fine, so what happened with your weekend?" Sadie asked dragging the dishes into the back room. With how close everything was it was pretty easy to hear each other regardless of where they were in the shop.

"If you say so, well day one I went out into the club with Steven and Jasper to figure out he invited my ex and all them." Lapis wondered whether she should sugar coat any of it and started testing the waters. "I kind of ditched a bit early that night because of it," Lapis confessed.

"Oh I'm sorry why did he do that, he knows you and Amethyst wanted space for a bit right," Sadie questioned knowing the whole situation.

"Well I mean I wanted space but I think the rest of them thought it was time I got over it," acknowledging the amount of time they had been broken up without even seeing each other much.

"I mean Pearl did threaten you if you stayed, talking about how dangerous you were to them and such."

"Yeah she did apologize for that, you know what they aren't even dating," Lapis knew Pearl liked Amethyst, why else would she kick her out.

"Really?" Sadie asked genuinely surprised, something darker had traced her mind though at that instant.

"So correct me if I'm wrong but I really feel they'd be together by now if they wanted to be am I right?" Lapis asked trying to see if her suspicion could be correct.

"Yeah, it's been like a year right? I remember when you'd sleep in the shop when Steven's parents let you turn this into a bakery before they fully moved out." Those weren't from Pearl but she liked to blame the bad parts of her life on something other than the fact that she and Amethyst weren't the best together. Occasionally she would lie and tell Sadie that Pearl threatened her to stay elsewhere when usually it was her and Amethyst yelling at each other and her angrily walking out.

"Yeah, do you think she might have a crush on Peridot?" Lapis asked intentionally making sure that Sadie and her were separated by a wall. Sadie was now working on baking in the back room while Lapis was dealing with cleaning the front of the store to which the door closed once again closing their conversation for the time being. "Hey how are you doing today," Lapis asked the young lady entering her shop.

After helping the customer and a few others that had come in during it she was finally left with just Sadie once again, past nine o'clock however and their conversations would cease do to the customers constantly coming in.

"It's possible but I don't know, have all you guys hung out together before?" Thinking back to the club she didn't seem to notice them chatting too much.

"Yeah the second night off I went to the club with all them, they didn't seem to talk all that much."

"Well then I doubt they are, why though?" Sadie asked now facing the nervous Lapis. She was nice but not a mind reader and for that Lapis was thankful, her hands felt a little shaky talking about the reason that lay behind it.

"Well I kind of like Peridot," Lapis stammered out as if it was an actual confession, well it was a confession but not to the woman she's been falling for.

"Huh, have you tried asking her out," Sadie asked patiently standing in front of her like a regular conversation goes. To her disappointment Lapis was not prepared for a regular conversation about something like this, so Lapis was turned into the case tidying things that didn't need to be tidied.

"Well not really, I mean I did cuddle her," Lapis slyly said still facing away from Sadie.

"Whaaat," Lapis took a few moments to explain the whole night to her, Sadie was a great listener she also explained the rest of the weekend to see how she would feel about all the news.

"Well you know those people who say they aren't dating but practically are?" Sadie asked with both hands placed along her hips and a stagnant face.

"Yeah kind of…"

"Isn't that like you and Peridot I mean if you snuggle her that's pretty close even for friend's y'know." Sadie was making some valid points but it wasn't like that at all and Lapis knew that she only needed safety.

"No she was just scared of the thunder and such, honestly I wish that were the case but it's been more so me leaning on her than anything else," Lapis admitted. Peridot was the guard rail to her insecurities, to her pain and was the only thing keeping her from going over the edge again and drowning herself out in unhealthy choices.

"Well can I just say this, I wouldn't let you sleep with me even if I was scared just saying," Sadie said making a face. Sadie's mood seemed to have been lifted as well as it changed to a small smile tugging at the corners of her face.

"You sure about that," Lapis said finally looking her in the eye and winking at her. This drew a laughter from each of them, also it felt like the only way out of the conversation that she was scared of.

With that more customers came in and they split off to allow Lapis to help the customers and Sadie to work on cleaning up the store and make whatever they were low on. Like their regular schedule of customers and due to the warm days being back there was a lot more customers than regular. They also had to have Sadie run to the store to pick up groceries since she drove.

While it was a busy day for the rest of the day it was quite easy and felt like no time at all before they were closing down. It was a good day too, she enjoyed working with Sadie, Lapis often thought about how lucky she was to have gotten a hard worker so that she could actually have days off. It was such a rough start, seven day work weeks for months. Even when she did get Sadie to work with her, she had to work alongside her till she was confident enough to open by herself.

"Hey I'm going to put the sign as closed now, are you okay with that?" Sadie asked as their day came to an end. Busy doing nearly double what they had clocked on the stormy days, due to no one wanting to visit a small shop in large amounts of rain. It was weird how it changed over the year, during summer no one came if rained while in winter it was a nice little hang out area for people when it did.

"Yeah you can leave now if you'd like but I do have a quick question." Lapis said cleaning out the cases in front of her. She had gotten most of the customers even when Sadie seemed to be fine, which was okay with her, she dealt with customers well.

"Its fine I'll stay to help clean up will only take a moment," Sadie said as she slowly locked the doors. "Also he texted me, asking me out tonight, do I go?" Sadie asked.

"Well do you want to see him?" Lapis asked once again leaning on her elbows to converse easier.

"Well what if he really does well for once, maybe just maybe I can help him get better you know? I just feel that no one out there is giving him a chance and that he can really make a difference." Her words were very genuine and the concern was prominent in her face but it all seemed very sour to be in that situation. You can't choose who you love but this girl sure did have dedication.

"Go see him, if he doesn't show up tonight say you're going to block him and block him." Lapis sternly said knowing she wouldn't listen to advice otherwise but maybe this would reach her.

"Alright, I guess I should do that," Sadie gave in, her words seemed to be honest with herself for once. This would be a good final chance, every time Lapis heard of him it was negative things that had happened between them. She had personally only met the kid briefly when he came to visit Sadie and ask for a job then asked for a manager when Lapis said no. To which Lapis had to kick him out and tell him not to come back into her store. "So what did you have to ask me?"

"Steven was doing a trip to his family's barn not this weekend but next and was wondering if you'd be okay without me?" Lapis asked feeling the large weight of her conscious on her shoulders. Asking for a whole weekend off felt greedy not giving some one any free time on which most people are free to hang out. This also wasn't the steadiest job with it changing each week what days each of them worked only thing it had going for it was getting out early in the day. Getting out early also meant having an adjusted schedule to going to bed early as well.

"You're kind of the boss, if you want to do something with the schedule feel free to do it." Sadie said quite plainly. They were standing face to face behind the counter, looking of small amounts of things. Lapis was making a small bag of unsold goods that would go bad for Sadie, she occasionally did this knowing her family loved it.

"Well yeah but I don't want to just piss off my only other employee," Lapis retorted hoping for a real response.

"Just take those days off, you need them anyways, I can just take the weekend after off or something like that, and I really don't do much with my life Lapis don't worry about it." Sadie's expression was sad with that, it may be the truth but somethings aren't so nice to say aloud and Lapis only ever really heard about the boy she was after never much about other things she did.

"Alright just remember if you ever need a day off or something I owe you some," Lapis happily said back to her, trying even if only a little to lighten her mood. While she did get her days off, it felt very disorganized.

The day had finally came to an end with the whole store being a bit cleaner than previous days and set up for the following days easily laid out. They said their final good byes to each other with Sadie being clocked in for a slightly longer shift than usual.

"Have a good one Lapis." Sadie said doing a quick wave before turning around bag in hand leaving the opposite direction. While the black haired girl began walking around the building with a slow pace. She waved back quickly as well before she placed her hands in her pockets, one of her favorite places to rest them.

"You too see you tomorrow," Lapis said she began going up the metal staircase. The first step shook slightly as she pressed her foot on it, if it showed any more signs of deterioration she would have to actually investigate it instead of just a quick look down. After that she began to take off.

Lapis had somewhat ran up the staircase, Run up the start than quickly walk up the midpoint till reaching her doorway. Gazing in through the window to see the couch with a bundle of life sitting along the edge covered in a red blanket. When she stopped focusing inside she could then see her hair sticking out in several directions, taking a moment to fix it in the reflection before walking inside.

Slowly closing the door to make a bit less noise she walked forward, at first with a goal in mind to sneak up on the girl. As she drew close to the girl that usually wore ear phones clouding her hearing to notice she was actually asleep on the couch. She seemed a bit restless with her head resting on the edge of the couch with small movements of her hands that rested beside her head. Lapis had slowly moved towards her till she sat just besides her causing a bit more of movement.

Slowly drawing her hand to the blonde's forehead she lightly pressed through her hair. As Lapis continued petting Peridots head she began to wake up a bit more with just barely opening her eyes. She brought her hand up to rub her eyes before finally waking up fully.

"Good afternoon Peridot," Lapis said still brushing her hair.

"Morning," Peridot said drawing her arms up till she was yawning, at this point Lazuli had finally stopped. Gazing onto Peridot, her hair had spiked along the side she was laying on while the other side remained flat and the top of her head was an amalgamation of spikes and curves. Still wearing her regular green hoody, her eyes wore lines underneath them.

"Why are you always sleeping on this couch by the way," Lapis asked thinking over the weeks that she'd mostly seen her along this couch. While it was definitely not a negative to her, it was still odd knowing she had a nice bed as well.

"It's not that I'm trying to sleep on the couch I just tend to end up falling asleep while working," Peridot calmly said. "Well why are you petting me while I sleep?" Peridot asked quickly back with a confused face.

"Because I feel like it," Lapis coldly said back trying not to give into any of her inner thoughts that'd make her blush. Hiding away her feelings with jokes was one of her better defenses, only really few people would see past it in the end.

"Huh…" Peridot gave a long pause with a genuinely confused look on her face as they both sat there in silence for a moment. "Well I like working out here because it's more spacious while I feel a little suffocated after being in that room for over an hour aware." Peridot's room wasn't too small but the bed did seem to take up almost half of it so Lapis could see a valid point. At least the closet was pretty spacious, she used to hide in there with Steven thinking up stories. They were a bit old for that but they both loved it.

"Well at least you have walls, and it has a pretty decent sized closet for storage." Lapis wasn't sure why she was trying to justify that room but it felt needed to her. A home for a large portion of her life was a home not to just her but memories and this was the only home with good ones at this point. Lapis had thought it was weird had memories could be replaced, such as when bad ones outweigh good ones so heavily you can't think of them well anymore.

"Yeah that is pretty good, at least no one can see me change, and th-," Peridot tried to continue on but Lapis couldn't allow that. Her face felt as if just as quick as her words flew did her face into a new color, a warm one like summer met her face, bright red.

"Wait see me change, have you been watching me change?" Lapis frantically questioned. Her words had been forced out before she could even logically think about it, which might have been for the best.

"Well I don't try to but sometimes my eyes wander up there at night and can barely see you, don't worry about it." Peridot was beginning to laugh at the blushing girl beside her, Lapis began to stand up frustrated that within the few weeks they lived together she had been seen like that. Trying to rationalize she thought of the time she had seen her in a towel and it couldn't be worse than that right?

"What's the least amount of clothes?" she asked taking steps towards Peridot now, determined to not let her out of it. Peridot continued laughing with nasally voice becoming more prominent the more she asked.

"I was joking, I mean one time I did look up at you changing but I looked away immediately," Peridot was laughing hard enough to hold her sides. "I didn't see anything really," She wore a large smile finally beginning to calm down from her laughing fit while Lapis just felt her face getting redder.

Lapis took in a deep breath covering her face with one of her hands while she slowed herself down to try and think. Peridot may have just got the best of her but that would be okay for this time since nothing wrong had really happened. She admitted to herself that she did just get caught up in the moment and that she shouldn't care too much even if she did see her.

"So before you cut me off I was trying to say all my stuff put into the closet doesn't even take up a fourth of it that things huge," Peridot loudly said still covering her face with a smile. "I mean I may have had like nothing to bring over but still."

"Huh you don't have much things do you?" Lapis asked remembering how quickly they had put stuff away it seemed like she shouldn't have even needed help moving. Peridot had pulled the red blanket up to cover most of her body but underneath was that same green hoody.

"No but I do have everything I need to function properly."

"Oh really?" Lapis questioned putting herself close enough to Peridot to steal some of the blanket for herself. It felt odd why she had few things and admitted to it being fine without a reason but that conversation could be had for another day.

"My clothes to keep me warm and my laptop to do work is all I really need I mean honestly." She wore a smug look as she finished off her sentence reluctantly giving up more of the blanket.

"Alright but when is the last time you washed your clothes, I swear I have not heard the washing machine go once besides with mine in a long time." Time for a bit of revenge she thought to herself watching Peridots eyes open a little bit looking at Lapis.

"Hoodies don't need to be washed unless directly covered in something," Peridot stated clearly trying to evade the previous questions. To which Lapis responded by pulling herself to Peridot and sniffing her hoody and immediately covering her nose. It smelt of old pizza and beer surprisingly, maybe she ended up spilling some on herself at the club or something along those lines.

"Well yours needs to be washed it smells aweful and do the rest of your clothes while you're at it." The blonde looked slightly uncomfortable as she just looked down at herself and had her hands wrapping together. "Why haven't you done laundry yet?" Lapis asked at the awkwardly unmoving Peridot and after that statement she began looking away.

"I may not remember how to work one… Rose insisted on washing my clothes and the one I had at my first apartment was a bit different…" Peridot slowly said those lines to which Lapis could finally respond how she wanted to the whole time, with loud obnoxious laughs.

"And the truth finally comes out eh?" Lapis stared at the now blushing Peridot. "Well I need to do a load of laundry anyway so just toss me your clothes and I can chuck them in with mine." Lapis said drawing a bit closer to Peridot who stayed silent. "Okay? I'm going to need that hoody then." Easing herself over to her but finally she responded.

"You cannot take my hoody," Peridot said grasping over herself while Lapis debating how far she was willing to force it off the girl. She came to the conclusion that taking it would be hilarious to her and seemed like the right thing to do.

"I'm going to wash it just hand it over and then go gather up your clothes," Lapis asked finally starting to try and force it off the blonde. The blonde responded with a series of grunts and wrapping her arms around herself as if in a strait jacket to hold down the sides. Trying to lift herself up to escape the couch, Lapis just pushed the girl back down with ease, she was light and not in that good of shape.

"Hold it Lazuli you can't have it," Peridot began shouting while she was getting over powered and slowly began showing skin as the cloth was lifted. Lapis kept laughing to herself as she was lifting the shirt to get up past Peridots innie to figure out she wasn't wearing another shirt underneath.

"Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" Lapis asked genuinely confused and slightly concerned for her friend red in the face with heavy breaths.

"Like I said I don't know how to use the washing machine so I'm trying to preserve clean shirts. Besides it's much too hot to wear both layers of clothes." Peridot said which left Lapis even more concerned than the start.

"Both layers wouldn't you have three?" the further they fell down the rabbit hole the more she regretted starting this conversation, while it was her fault she also felt Peridot should take care of herself better than this. Peridot just breathed through her teeth after she had heard Lapis question showing another concern had been met. "Okay so first off we need to wash your rank ass clothes, second off I had a real discussion I had to have with you, can you get this next weekend off?"

"I'll figure out how to wash them myself," Peridot tried to say and before she could answer the second part was cut off once again.

"No I'm doing laundry today and now I'm doing yours too and next time I'll show you how to do it." Lapis was being quite stern feeling it to be a good time to be.

"Maybe I mean I really should be working right now in all honesty I have a lot to get done." Peridot said slowly looking back over to her Laptop lying closed on the table in front of them.

"Well we'll talk about that more the closer we get but for now go gather your clothes alright? Also I'm going to wash that hoody I don't care what you say." Lapis demanded as she began to stand up drawing some distance between them.

"Fine but I'm staying in my room till I get it back then," Peridot said with a drop of irritation in her voice while beginning to stand up as well.

They each parted ways to gather up clothes, it might have been a slight lie for Lapis though she only had a few pairs of clothes to actually clean despite what she said earlier. Dragging the basket down the stairs being as light as it was, it was quickly picked up. Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs she saw a mound of clothes lifted with small arms wrapped around the side with a socking falling off as she moved forward.

"Alright this way to the washing machine," Lapis said as she pulled some of Peridots cloth pile into the basket so that she could see. It took a few minutes to properly teach Peridot to use the machine but it was a simple thing. It was also laid out in a simple way to see which goes first and so on and the settings were always set to the same thing because of not caring enough on her end. After dumping all the clothes into the metal box it came to the last thing, Peridot tried walking away to avoid it.

"Where do you think you're going?" Lapis asked grabbing her shoulder before she could make it out of the doorway. Peridot stood there and Lapis could hear her taking a deep breath.

"I have work to get done you clod," with those words Peridot attempted to make a break for it and pulled Lapis a good foot before she had both hands on her to stop her.

"Don't think I forgot about that nasty thing," Peridot had finally began to turn to meet Lazuli's eyes. She looked genuinely scared as she finally gave in to defeat.

"Fine I'll take it off and hand it into this room but you better not try and sneak a peek I'm running straight to my room."

"Fine, fine just give it here," Lapis said while Peridot left the room and within a few moments the green hoody was thrown into the room through a cracked door. Lapis finished up setting everything back up in the wash room and tidying things up before she left giving plenty of time for the blonde.

After leaving the room she went straight to Peridots door and sat there thinking to herself. It was nice to just calm down and relax for part of her day but she still had a few words she needed to share with Peridot.

"Hey Peridot, so the whole trip thing is Steven's going out to his families barn soon and invited us to come along, would you want to go?" She asked waiting for a response, this might be a little bit awkward for Peridot talking between closed doors.

"Sounds good to me, what would we do over there though," Peridot asked apparently not knowing much about the barn or the wonderful things surrounding it.

"Well there's a lake that everyone would swim in and also drink beers by a campfire and walk around the woods playing games stuff like that." Remembering their previous conversations got Lapis to thinking about Peridot. "Do you have clothes to swim in though?"

"No," Peridot quickly said from behind the door.

"Well let's go shopping the Thursday before it, so you can pack Friday morning and we can all leave at a reasonable time then." They seemed to sit there for several hours of just idly talking about things they enjoyed about outdoors and things they disliked. Lapis loved watching the sights but hated being in the car for hours.

A loud ring had first interrupted Lapis before another thing had a chance at interrupting and that was Peridot.

"Sorry boss is calling I'll talk to you later," Peridot rushed out of her mouth with them still segregated.

"Yeah, sure…" Lapis sadly spouted back before finally standing up and leaving her door way behind. Peridots voice had seemed scared and that was a usual whenever her boss would call, Lapis was displeased at what she couldn't help. Leaving she decided one last thing, to do some dishes before she would finish up Laundry and throw the jacket back at the blonde.


	11. Confronted In Lies

A ringing noise had drawn her away from her work, drawing her phone free from her pocket to show Amethyst. The ring was a short one drawing the conclusion of just being a text, with no customers in the store she was free to look at her phone often. Quickly looking once again across the warm bakery before drawing her eyes down to the bright screen.

"Call me whenever you can," is all it said. Only a few more minutes before the store would be closed and maybe it was purposely timed to message her then or not. Amethyst could be thoughtful sometimes but a lot of the time it just felt like coincidence to Lapis. Sliding her phone back into her apron before beginning to bag up the rest of the bread like a usual day.

Once the time finally fell along with the open sign falling to closed it was finally okay to call her. Lapis questioned why she still had her in her phone, thinking she should have erased her number but that didn't matter now. Easing her finger down across the old style phone on her cell drawing her hand up before assuring that she hit it. Seconds later a ring was finally heard with her holding her side while she sat there.

"Hello," a familiar voice asked, as if no one was there. They rarely had phone calls even when they were dating, more so just texts and voice mails.

"Hey you wanted to talk to me?" Lapis asked a little cautious of the conversation ahead of her. A rare thing to happen across the board meant trouble, new things often meant trouble to her as well.

"Yeah, I've uh been hearing somethings from Peri about you and so just you know, decided to talk to you about it." Amethysts voice had a weird edge to it, like a knife of pain was cornering her conversation, or at least her thoughts.

"She doesn't like being called Peri," Lapis said quickly cutting off the train of thought by halting the tracks. "So what have you heard," curiosity allowed things to move forward but worry kept her fingers on the red button that'd cancel their conversation.

"Whatever, so you like her right?" Amethyst asked with clear irritation showing in her voice with no attempt to conceal it seemed.

"Well uh kind of," Lapis was having trouble confessing to her irritated ex, usually attempting to annoy this girl came easy to her. Why was she getting upset though Lapis wondered to herself as she waited for a response.

"Well you should be careful then," each word fell slowly from her mouth as if trouble to say them with the edge continuing to be persistent. Lapis fought agitation as she heard those words, what did she know anyway?

"What do you mean?" Lazuli's voice had dropped all emotions to a cold response. Her mind was moving a mile a minute thinking of the conversation she was dreading every moment to.

"You're bothering her with your clinginess." Amethysts voice had grown loud and was hurtful, finally the edge had reached Lazuli, drawing in a deep breath not trying to rationalize but trying to fend off the other words.

"Really, huh you think that, I think if she didn't like it she would have told me to stop. Are you just mad Pearl hasn't asked you out?" Lapis began to yell back losing all of her composure at being exposed and told she was wrong.

"She has…" venom dripping in her voice evident with the small response no other words came bearing a silence to mouths and a storm of thoughts.

"What…" Lapis was dumbfounded as their conversation had been dropping quickly while emotions were flaring.

"It's none of your business, just back off of Peri okay?" Amethysts voice had grown softer than before but still held a stern back bone to it.

"No, she's mine," Lapis said instantly without thinking. "Didn't you want us to get together, I mean you and Pearl specifically gave us space when we danced." Lapis wondered aloud waiting for any kind of reasoning.

"Pearl pulled me to the side then, you should stop forcing yourself on her, that's all I needed to say man." With that the phone lost its sound to the rest of the world which she had been void of for the past few moments. Fans and small gusts of wind pressed along the shop and imprinting themselves in Lapis' mind before she could move and realize her situation.

Thinking was all she could do trying to understand where change had went wrong. First step in front of the other with her work finished, she began towards the door. Certain that Amethyst could be after Peridot and uncertain now of the feelings held in Peridot. Why would she allow Lapis to do what she had done if she hadn't liked her, did she tell Amethyst everything? With a locked door and an endless rickety staircase ahead she kept up with one foot in front of the other and eyes blind from one another.

Sights were drained to habit, unfocused her feet moved by themselves with her thoughts forced to move on each second. Along the top, today was the day that they would go out to shop along the beach strip for clothes and other assortments. After a conversation like that, she was beginning to feel self-conscious of her decision to go with her instead of giving a list. The handle was cool and caused her eyes to drift wide open to the blonde sitting on the couch as she forced the door open.

"Hey Peridot…" Lapis barely uttered out as the blonde turned and looked at her a bit concerned. A smile was what she wore and it was a care free one, easy to look into and easy to lose herself in them.

"Hey Lapis are you ready to go?" Peridot asked slowly setting down her laptop. She wasn't wearing her green hoody, it was light grey shirt that tightly fit her body. Her pants were short jeans that actually held on to her figure a bit exposed by the lack of a blanket. Following beside the couch was the red blanket neatly folded up taking up the whole other cushion of the couch.

"Uh yeah let me get changed, you look different." Lapis stated drawing her eyes over her body again taking in the sight ahead of her gladly, along with the clothes was her hair tidy. Her hair was spiked along the front and brushed down along the sides till they spewed out along the sides of her neck. Her eyes however showed difference as well as a pair of glasses were perched along her nose.

"I don't usually wear my glasses because I have contacts." She stated as if that was all that Lapis was talking about and not willing to let Peridot know all the thoughts going along her brain she didn't say anything about it.

"Why wear them today then?" Lapis asked following along her previous train of thought and looking at the small girl slowly standing up. She was beginning to stretch pulling her arms above her head before she responded.

"Eh, I don't always feel like shoving something in my eyes, and I only can't see far, so I often don't wear them when I work." Peridot said finishing up her stretching and drawing herself forward a bit.

"Ah makes sense let me go get changed and we can go," Lapis said running away till she reached the top the stairs and didn't look back. Unaware of why she would stand up so early while they still had a few moments before they'd go. Not caring what she wore she just grabbed from her pants drawer and her shirt drawer throwing them on. Thanks to her common colors it was just a blue t-shirt with black jeans, not half bad. While she was out she would have to get more dye so that she could do that before tomorrow and have a fresh head of hair.

Flinging herself down the stairs trying not to give herself time to think, time to doubt, she ran. Dragging each foot faster and faster till she was practically jumping down the stairs, to be met with the green eyes waiting by the door phone in hand. The blonde was a light that shone on the whole room whenever Lapis would see her and deteriorate her bad mood quite quickly but made her nerves shake.

"Alright let's go," those words were spoken before they left and it seemed quite quickly that they made it to town. Words passed back and forth, one unsettled and one sounding happy like a child. With long conversations unlike usual when Peridot leads, a difference between usual that she was okay with for today.

"Hey that shop has some bikini's want to go in there and check it out?" Lapis asked causing Peridot to halt showing to be timid. The blonde looked into the store and stared for a long moment before he face returned looking slightly frightened.

"It's fine I'm going to get trunks anyways," Peridot said trying to drag them further with each step to be stopped. Lapis had held on to her shoulders, dragging her back, it took a while to calm her nerves but she finally felt like she was back to herself. With that she forced Peridot into the shop with some attempts at fleeting until inside. Once inside she began acting like a regular person once again inside a shop, not frantically trying to get ahead and leave behind said shop.

"Hey see that green one it'd look great on you," Lapis said pointing to one that was actually on display in the window outside as well. It was green with yellow polka dots and a white line surrounding it. More so than the thought of it on Peridot she more so thought of the parts of her that would be easier to gaze at. Her curves at her legs and such would be as if wearing just underwear exposing most of her body within plain sight. Part of her begged and begged that Peridot wouldn't wear trunks even though that was most likely true.

"Eh that's so revealing though," Peridot said clearly shaken at wearing such a thing. Lapis was beginning to wonder if she had ever worn a swim suit like that, clearly showing a preference to not wear something like that.

"What about that one," Lapis asked again pointing to another green one. It was a light green skirt like one, with a dark green under part. The top piece of it wore was light green and faded into the dark green color of the panties part the lower it got. While the skirt would block out her favorite view it would also be so short cut with temptation.

"I mean I guess the skirt is alright, but I don't really like things like that Lapis." Peridot said furrowing her eyebrows slightly with a small smile posing a slightly confused face. Meanwhile Lapis had begun walking towards the swimsuit to grab it.

"Will you at least try it on?" Lapis asked wanting to ask for her and wink but previous thoughts on today had halted it. Slowly dragging it off and looking at the blonde who wasn't objecting but sitting there quietly. She was looking at the floor and seemed genuinely concerned, that bothered Lapis a lot, worry shot through her instantly. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I can try it on." With that a huge sigh had left her lips, "I'm fine no worries." Definitely worries, so many things were a bother, why the change of attitude so quickly?

"Well lets try and find some other clothes as well, I mean if you want anything let's check it out." Lapis had gladly said as they began walking around the store. Peridot took a deep breath and brought her head up to look at Lapis. Her eyes were vibrant and like a black hole, sucked Lazuli into them without resistance she stood there.

"Fine but I want you to try on that one too then!" Peridot said loudly to a dark blue swimsuit on a mannequin next to them. It was dark blue on the top and like the second one it had a skirt that instead matched the color on the top. The skirt however held waves of light blue at the bottom, dark colors, her favorite and it would look great but expose so much. Peridot's face looked so determined, quite painful to turn that down, so with a cautious look into her eyes.

"Fine, does this mean I get to pick one to have you try on no matter what you say?" Lapis asked happily staring at her. Peridot began to look a bit frightened at the realization of what that could entail.

"Nothing that exposes more than that, or anything dumb…" Peridot said staring at her hands lightly encompassing each other.

"Deal, well let me grab that one real quick and we can throw it in a basket. Can you grab one by the door?" Lapis asked looking down at the swim suits hanging along the side of her arm.

"Fine," Peridot said rushing off to the front of the store, she seemed fine now Lapis thought to herself. Still her mind was peppered with concern, with many attempts to lift her mind off of it she took a deep breath and began looking around the shop. Like most clothes stores it had open windows at the front to display clothes and on the inside support beams with mirrors hung around them. The back held signs for changing rooms, one of the final destinations she thought about.

Finally a small black basket had entered her view with the short blond reentering to hand it to her, it seemed that Lapis took the lead along these sorts of things. Slowly she picked up the swim suit and they slowly got closer to an area with actual trunks. Peridot had begun actually picking out her own clothes along this area, this was a good trip.

Lapis saw so many clothes that would only pear onto her unfortunate imperfection caused by grief. She avoided them however it felt that Peridot wanted to gaze at her in each of them, calling them out and asking why she hadn't put them in their basket. To which she would just say they weren't her style, regardless an occasional one would be picked up to attempt to be hidden to the blonde.

"Do you have everything you want?" Lapis asked as Peridot picked up a sports bra which was close to the changing room. They were only a few feet and this was only the first store that they had visited anyways. Things could be returned to look at other ones but then again finding things on a first attempt seemed a lot better than spending the entire evening out.

"Yeah, so see you after we try all our stuff on?" Peridot asked slowly walking over to an open door.

"No I want to see each of those on you," Lapis said with a smile bordering her face while she pulled out each of Peridots clothes to hand her.

"Hey that wasn't part of any of the deals only the one swim suit." Peridot said clearly flustered with the unknown deal between them.

"Well I can make sure they look good on you," Lapis said slowly looking off to the side with a huge smile trying not to spill over.

"Fine but I get to see you in each of the clothes you brought too, even the ones you tried to hide from me." Peridot said in defense with a smile gazing up to the shocked girl that was unaware she had been caught gazing at those clothes.

"Okay, just one set of clothes then…" Lapis gave in not willing to expose herself for that long. She had given in, they each went into their separate rooms to try on their clothes. The dark blue bikini fit well, just barely covering much of her legs or rear in all honesty. She looked back in the mirror checking herself out, regardless of which side of her she looked at, though she saw the scars across her body.

Small noises of growls and such were heard from the stall beside her as she listened to Peridot seem to struggle. Agitation seemed to be rising as her noises got a bit louder to which Lapis couldn't hold it in any longer, she began laughing. Once she began laughing the other noises seemed to simmer down, likely embarrassed at herself and Lazuli was okay with that.

"You okay in there?" Lapis questioned, her voice wasn't completely serious since it still held the remanence of her laughs.

"I'm fine," Peridot said back clearly agitated at whatever she was doing in there. Swimsuits couldn't be that difficult, then again someone that doesn't even do her own laundry might have issues, thought Lapis.

"Do I need to come in there and help you?" Lapis asked laughing even harder since she had been done for quite a bit of time now.

"No I've almost got it, hah! There we go," Peridot shrieked clearly proud of her accomplishment of wearing clothes. Lapis was debating teasing her more on her small feat but decided against it as she began to open the door herself. Not wanting to expose her body to the world for long she waited hoping that Peridots door would open any moment.

"Are you coming out or what?" Lapis asked growing impatient with each moment just praying that it would end.

"What? I just got off my clothes," Peridot shouted back leaving Lapis dumbfounded and genuinely concerned.

"What!" Lapis shouted back wide eyed wanting to just slam open that door from frustration. With that moment Peridot began laughing back at her with the door slowly opening to show the short girl in the green swimsuit that had the dark green skirt.

"I'm only joking, so how does it look?" Peridot asked only sharing her gaze with the floor while Lapis once again was dumbfounded watching over the girls curves and temptation that lay underneath. Like the sun was left only a few feet ahead of Lapis she was blind to everything else gazing onto the beautiful girl in front of her. Her awe left her head weightless with constant reminders of her feelings pressing forward.

The skirt hung Concealing a slight amount of her legs with its light color fading into the dark green drawing attention to her belly. Everything about the girl was beautiful to Lapis, her chest had also drawn attention to it with the dark pointing out the obvious curves. The vibrant green eyes finally gazing back up at her, as if to question why the sun might blind her.

"Lapis?" Peridot asked, a small mouth pulling words to life before her and pulling her from the life that had drained her of movement. Waking up from her own thoughts she finally responded.

"You look beautiful Peridot," Lapis let out, truly having her breath taken from her. Feeling a bit bitter to herself after realization of how lost she felt, now wasn't the time to give in but what if she said no. Lapis couldn't bear that and the fact that she wasn't going to show her how she felt anytime soon betrayed her joy. One last smile looking back at the girl now staring her up and down.

"Thanks," Peridot said looking over Lapis body, as soon as she realized Lapis pulled herself back less confident as she thought over things. From the scars running along her wrists to ones across her stomach and back, none should be seen, the past should be forgotten. Thing about time is how it can ruin the future when it persists on. Those thoughts were suffocated before surfacing to Lapis brain as Peridot turned back to the stall slyly sliding a few words out of her mouth. "You look beautiful as well."

Small words for a small mouth exciting the atmosphere of her thoughts, from storm clouds shooting lightning of despair to a patch of light bringing life. That single feeling, one Lapis had started feeling for a while with each day clinging to her own actions more forcing themselves forward. If Lapis wasn't obvious about how she felt by this point then Peridot would have to be blind she thought to herself.

They retreated to their own stalls forcing clothes on once more trying to find a perfect match. The mirror was stained with the image of Lapis as she sat there in front of it looking back at herself, while her mind was preoccupied. Each outfit she had picked out deserved a quick look over while her mind was trapped repeating the instance of seeing the blonde. The swim suit looked so great and she regretted not paying attention to Peridot walking into her stall as much as she would have wished.

A low sigh left her mouth as she altered her view to the floor, a shadow sliding along the bottom of the next stall. Her attentions were to that, to her mind, anywhere besides wanting to look back at herself. Managing to try on only half of them and deeming them acceptable she left the stall, to the right was a long soft bench. Acceptable. Walking over sitting along it resting her elbows on her lap and her head in her hands with her eyes looking to the ground.

Sounds escaped in front of her to look up to see eyes peering out of the stall with it barely open. Cluttered hands scrapping around trying to find balance and not drop the abundance of things picked out for her. Very few things actually missing and left in the dressing room, one of the outfits still in her hands was the green bikini she picked out for her and that left a warm feeling.

"Hey let's check out and then get a bite to eat?" Lapis asked with the girl now watching her back. Finally closing in on Lapis with only a few feet to each other she responded.

"Sure how about that pizza place, they even have those booth type things." With that they went to the register, slowly shuffling her things atop the counter Peridot also put her things up.

"Hey, I pay for mine you pay for yours," Lapis said looking at the small blonde slowly walking around her to reach the register. She had begun pulling out her card, with Lapis looking on slightly puzzled on the scene before her eyes.

"I got it, you have no idea how large my pay check is this week," Peridot said confidently as she sat at the cash register. The cashier clearly looked a bit uncomfortable in this situation as they sat there slowly shrugging to them. Slowly the cashier rang up all the items watching them.

"Hey that's still going to cost a bit of money, seriously let me pay for mine," Lapis said feigning a bit of anger. To which Peridot slid her card and began entering in her pin without hesitation.

"Take this as a thanks of sorts for letting me move in with you," Peridot said not looking over at Lapis. Taking a moment and a sigh she let her head lower to and shook it slightly before looking up once again.

"Thanks, but I get to pay for the Pizza then," Lapis said while they waited for the receipt to be shot out of the machine. Finally it did and they thanked the cashier and moved on to their final destination, thought Lapis. When they did arrive at the pizza place right next to them they ordered a Hawaiian pizza and sat in the booth in a corner.

The seats were bright red with the backs of them being grey and the underneath's keeping that color. Sitting there with a sign on the number 4 alone in the pizza place they waited. Peridot had taken the opposite side from the corner that Lapis was in.

"Hey Lapis, I kind of have something I need to talk to you about." Peridot said moving her face away to the center of the place. Avoiding eye contact it felt like as Lapis tried to get a grasp on her eyes to no avail, waiting for her to continue.

"Yeah? What is it?" Lapis asked as the blonde sat there quiet slowly taking deep breaths. The air had changed around them like a swirling anxiety shifting weight off her chest into her throat. _Breathe._

"Okay, so I hope you don't mind me asking, but what is wrong with you?" Peridot loudly said, as she wore her hands around her head in a confused face. _Breathe._ Her eye brows were scrunched together while Lapis felt her innards feel heavy. "Like you treat me differently than everyone else and I don't understand why."

"It's just how I am," Lapis tried to interject while Peridot began to move along once again.

"No, you treat Steven and Jasper close to the same, joke around with them, be rude to them at some moments, but you don't. You don't do that with me and I'm confused on why you treat me this way. You're nice to me and try and look after my health, is I guess what I'm trying to get at." Peridot seemed to be lowering her voice the further it continued on and not willing to look Lapis in the eyes.

"I just don't want to bother you, y'know you're still a bit new to me it's only been like a few weeks." Lapis said trying to avoid the conclusion that she wasn't willing to spill at this moment.

"Really? That's why you told me all those personal things and got close to me and confuse me. This is going exactly how Amethyst said it would." Peridot admitted dragging her head as low as the blue haired girl in front of her.

"What do you mean…?" Lapis drew her head up confused to the words piercing her ears now. They were unknown something that she hadn't seen coming.

"I talked to Amethyst about somethings to try and understand, because I just don't and she kept spouting off things that I couldn't believe. So I need to know, what do I mean to you, I'm done being confused and not understanding I want to understand." Peridot said finally matching Lapis looking up and matching eyes.

"Uh you're someone I can trust…" to which Peridot cut her off before she could continue.

"I know that but why do you treat me so different?" Peridots eyes looked desperate for an answer for anything that would make sense which Lazuli couldn't give away. Those eyes were now drowning her thoughts and feelings in a deep sadness that matched pressure of the bottom of the ocean.

"I can't tell you, not yet at least I'm sorry…" Lapis said with a sad looking face, knowing that courage is something that some people had and she didn't. Not when it came to how she knew the affect she had on people.

"Tell me, I promise it won't change anything." Slightly hitting her elbows against the table as she spoke.

Before an answer could come to mind, before a lie could dispatch that could dissolve this feeling around them another person had joined them. Slowly laying down the Pizza in front of them they did a small bow and thanked them for visiting before leaving them to themselves again. Head spinning a rational decision to her finally approached with her getting stared down.

Waiting before it was clear, she took a deep breath to convey her plan onward. "Hey I'll make you a deal, I'll tell you in two days…" Lapis grimly said unwilling to disqualify any more amount of time. A lie, if it fell through it would crush a relationship but a truth would be a support beam to the ground they stand on, or be rejected.

"Fine but till then I want you to stop acting so weird," Peridot said slumping her shoulders at the final decision. She seemed to care, none of her words held anger just drops of confusion and frustration.

They ate their pizza with an awkward air seeming to choke Lazuli while she was unwilling to see the effect on Peridot. Looking up just enough to see the blondes grey plate with food being moved around in rough circles and the same amount of slices that they each took, two. _Silence._ Clawing her hands through her hair in irritation, Lapis took one more deep breath.

Bringing her hand forward to try and wave attention half way there she heard a ringing noise. It was familiar it was the same one Peridot always used, almost instantly the blonde had slid her phone out and was taking the call.

"Hello Peridot speaking," she said very formally, the other person seemed to not be quite as nice, as yelling was bleeding through the phone. This time Peridot was taking the deep breath, drawing her other hand up to cup her eyes as she spoke on the phone. Lapis could see it though, the hurt she wore, the way she brought her eye brows together whenever she got that phone call. It always hit hard but usually she could at least hide away, not this time.

"I'm sorry, the client said he wanted it that… yes I know sorry… I'll fix it tonight… Okay I'll do those when I get back from my vacation… Sorry… sorry… sorry." Her words were getting smaller as if a kitten had been placed in front of a bear aware of the danger. Peridots hands were shaking as the voices continued piercing the dull air around them.

"I'll get it done no matter what it takes," that was the last moment of their conversation that Peridot looked to be able to take. Her hand had fell down from the cover of her eyes and instead her legs had been pulled up to rest her face in while the yelling continued.

It could have been years from the way time passed by to Lapis, it was painful to watch and every fiber of her wanted to rush over to Peridots side and hold her close. Every fiber except one and that one fiber was fear that she would push her further away if she tried anything along those lines. The phone had finally left her hands and been put back in her pockets.

"Are you okay," Lapis asked genuinely concerned as she brought herself forward. Peridot seemed to have dampened eyes as she looked up but something seemed to have changed as she furrowed her brows and brought air in to her chest.

"I'll be fine I have to get to work," Peridot said almost aggressively, like the whole situation didn't happen in front of her. They ended up putting the Pizza back into its box and walking home. The walk was silent, the road was silent but it didn't feel peaceful. To Lapis it felt like the beginning of the end, caught in mystery and confronted in lies.


	12. Redemption

Notes: Hey guys till the Trip is over I'll be uploading Saturdays and Wednesdays, hope you enjoy and feel free to leave reviews I read every single one and thank you guys for the continued support.

It was finally the Friday of the trip, Lapis had worked the whole morning and had just gotten back and just like when she left this morning Peridot was still sitting on the couch on her laptop. Huge bags beneath her eyes and visibly having a hard time holding up, she hadn't slept or anything just worked. Her eyes seemed chained to the laptop easily looking down. At least on the car ride over there Peridot would be able to sleep a bit hopefully, running up into Lapis room she had begun to check her bag over again.

Lightly pushing over all the clothes a few times with the knowledge that they hadn't grabbed snacks yet and would likely get those on the way. Asking Peridot what she would prefer with snacks would be a good idea so she could sleep the whole way but how? Lapis had no idea how to talk to Peridot, after yesterday they didn't have any more words together and it hurt.

Knowing confessing would have been a decent way to explain it but why couldn't Peridot see it at this point if it was so damn obvious to everyone else. Some words stuck to her mind over there conversation, confused, she kept mentioning that. Was it a bother to have Lapis try and get close to her or did she think it was all a lie? Maybe she just viewed Lazuli as a big tease that would never have anything come to her in any way maybe that's all she could be viewed as.

With one last sigh over her endless thoughts she slung her bag around her back and began heading down stairs. The bag was a dark green duffle bag with a long latch that could easily hang over her shoulder leaving the bag along her side so that her arms could rest along the grainy side of it. Still the phantom was on the couch, walking right up to it and it barely looking up at her with half closed eyes.

"Hey are you packed and ready to go? We're leaving in like fifteen minutes." Lapis asked to watch the blonde's shoulders drop and her look at her laptop briefly with a sigh.

"I have like maybe fifteen minutes left of work, then I'll pack my bags, sorry." She had already started working once again and Lapis wanted to help. Black bags over her eyes slow moving hands and within her eyes were bloodshot.

"Want me to pack your bag?" Lapis asked knowing that once again she might be pushing her boundaries but maybe it could be genuine help this time. Leaving her hands along her hips as she waited for a response from the slow reacting girl.

"Sure, just throw all those clothes on my bed in a bag, I left those out specifically for this." Peridot said with a long yawn following it. Maybe she allowed it due to the time constraints as is, but Lapis knew that if it weren't for those a glare would have likely been received. The phone call yesterday changed the air from awkward to downright harmful.

"Okay," Lapis said as she left to across the house where the smaller room was left. Opening the door and a bundle of clothes was on the floor just outside the dresser and along her bed were plenty of other clothes, including the swimsuit and a pair of trunks. Looking around for a bag and couldn't spot one, going over to the closet and once again couldn't find a bag. The only bag Lazuli had remembered Peridot having were the trash bags she carried her stuff over in and her small laptop bag…

Leaving to her room once again to grab another dark green duffle bag. When she lived with Steven they went camping several times a year and they had got her several bags to carry all her things for the longer trips. One thing she kind of wanted to do some day was try backpacking, which seemed fun to her. Scrounging around her own closet on took a few minutes to drag out the bag she was looking for.

After dragging it out and picking up all of the clothes along Peridots bed it seemed perfect as a loud noise exited the living room.

"Yes done!" Was a shout that left the house, not nearly as loud as Peridot could get during something that excited her, likely due to her mental tiredness. Hauling up both bags and taking them over to the living room once again to look at Peridot. She looked woozy as her body shifted a little bit from left and right looking back at Lapis.

"This bags yours, they still haven't texted me and told me that they were on their way yet." Lapis calmly stated letting the bag drop beside Peridot. After the bag hit the floor a whole second later Peridot began to look at the floor, her reaction speed was awful in her state.

"Wow thanks," she said with a small smile looking down at her bag, Lapis just stared as her phone began to ring. It was Steven, his icon was a picture of him sneezing that Lazuli had managed to catch just in time for a wonderful photo.

"Hey Steven," Lapis calmly said while he was rushing his voice out to cut off hers.

"Hey we're here now, let's go, we got a long drive ahead of us." Steven said quickly while Lapis began to panic.

"I told you to text us when you were on your way…" Lapis began picking up both their bags and pointing her hand to the door. Peridot understood as they both walked towards the exit. "Okay be there soon we're coming down now." Quickly opening the door they left to the van rushing down, Peridot had to be slightly tapped to increase her speed going down the stairs however.

There ahead was the large white van with rose in the passenger seat and Greg in the front while the side of it was slid open with Steven frantically waving with a large smile. Behind him was Pearl with a nervous smile at the obnoxious kid in front of her. She did a small wave as well, a few more voices were apparent the closer they got. The entire van was a mixture of noises as if the mouth of the car was at the back and the end was silent.

"Hey guys," Lapis said looking into the van to see large girl roughly the same size as Jasper with rainbow dreads, together they took up the entire three seats in the back. An amalgamation of noises responded to her as she slowly tried squeezing in realizing one person would have to sit in the back with the giants. "Pearl you should sit back there with them," Lapis calmly said dragging herself into the middle seat leaving Peridot outside.

"No thank you, I made sure to be picked up early to have my very own spot." Pearl said proudly, wrapping her arms around her chest covering up the seat belt. Lapis was unwilling to give in though and as they argued amongst each other another small person had crawled behind Steven.

"Come on it'll be fine, also I don't believe I've met you before," Lapis said looking back at the girl with dreads, she wore a huge smile with Jasper managing to sit in the middle beside her. "My names Lapis, Lapis Lazuli."

"Hello I'm Bismuth, Jasper invited me out with you guys, I'm so glad to make it," Bismuth said patting the top of Lazuli's head messing up her hair. As that happened a small blonde had crawled beside Jasper and after buckling her seatbelt had closed her eyes.

"Glad you could make it this time, could you guys throw these in the far back for us?" Lapis asked slowly tossing over there green bags to be thrown even further into the back.

"Sure thing," Bismuth once again answered for everyone in the back. It seemed that Jasper was being quite quiet and looking at her face, Jasper seemed to be nervous. This strange girl coming along with them for this journey was definitely not what Lapis was expecting when her friend called her cute. She didn't think the same size of muscle and such, it's not that she had a bad face either but just unexpected.

"You alright Peridot," Steven asked clearly concerned over the small girl that seemed to be unconscious before their travels even started.

"She's just tired, worked an all-nighter so that she could come along on this trip," Lapis said trying to draw attention away from her sleeping treasure.

"Alright kids make sure you're buckled up and let's go," Greg yelled back to everyone. No one was a kid but they still had an age gap big enough that no one was going to disagree, except Pearl might Lapis thought.

Pearl was being quiet, just gazing out the window holding her chin in her hand and her eyes with the sky. It was weird for her to be so passive with the mess of voices circling everyone, from Steven asking about all the details of the last couple days to Bismuth and Jasper loudly laughing about things. Lapis had drawn her attention away from Pearl to join in the conversations and occasionally bad mouth Jasper to get her embarrassed.

They had driven for over an hour with Rose constantly changing music and talking about how beautiful each sound track was. Steven had joined Peridot on the route of sleep, his excitement wore off half an hour in to the trip and as everyone began to get quiet so did he. Jasper and Bismuth were talking about work a bit and what they were excited for quietly. Pearl remained staring out the window not turning her head to everyone once yet.

"Hey Pearl." Lapis said carefully looking at the circular head slowly turn to look at her. Pearls eyes still wore concern like when she first got in the car, but that more so seemed to be thanks to Steven and nothing else.

"Hello, Lapis." Pearl said back clearly questioning the start of their conversation, both of them unaware of the words to come.

"Are you alright?" Lapis asked unable to think of anything else to say. It was quiet and Pearl wore a sad face towards that question as if the words to come wouldn't speak anything but only the look in her eyes would. Lapis usually couldn't tell when people felt bad but she had lived with that girl for a while and was just finally burying the hatchet between them. Pearl was genuinely happy for her as well at one point.

"Yeah, I'm fine just a little bit tired, I didn't sleep much last night." Pearl said slowly, it was probably true and so much more. Her eyelids were cast down half way looking as if she could cry at any moment. This had been the worst off Lapis had visibly noticed, maybe words Amethyst had said had left a scar that had bled into the outside world.

"Get some sleep then," Lapis said more like a question to prod the flood of her excuse.

"I think I'm just going to keep watching the world go by." Pearl said turning her head back to the window abandoning the conversation. Unwilling to allow things to end without giving much of a chance Lapis grasped at the conversation one more time.

"I'm surprised you came along, without Amethyst." Lapis said quite low hoping that it would draw out a reaction of life.

"Why would you be surprised by that?" Pearl turned around with her eye brows slightly furrowed. Her voice was still low and questioning but slightly louder than before.

"You just can't seem to survive without her you know?" Lapis joked once more trying to not cross the line but unaware of where it stood.

"Survive? You know it's her that can't survive without me right? She is a complete and utter mess and probably won't even know how to cook for herself while I'm gone!" Pearl said with quite a bit more spirit in her words and her hands crossing her chest angrily. Lapis sighed in relief to know that Pearl hadn't broke down or anything like that at the mention of her and decided to press on.

"You're probably right, are you excited to see the lake again?" Lapis asked recollecting memories in her head of all the times that they had all gone down to see it and of her favorite times during it.

"Well I mean I did bring swimming supplies for a reason," Pearl said confidently. It was probably one of Lapis' favorite qualities about Pearl is how confident she could be and how proud she could be of things. "Isn't the lake your favorite part?" Pearl asked with a small smile on her face.

"Hmm I'd have to say my favorite part is easily beating you in a race across the river," Lapis casually said earning an agitated exhale from the other side. Wearing a large grin she looked at the pale girl by the window seat, leaving one final breath before she continued.

"And I'd like to see you not fall into the bonfire this time." Pearl snidely said back clearly agitated at the previous comments. Friendly competition is something they could share together, they usually did things at about the same speed but for some reason Pearl just couldn't hold a match to Lapis when it came to swimming.

"That was only once and because I had a little too much to drink." Lapis said back with a large smile and life prominent in her voice. Even if negative things did happen distractions could persuade someone to investigate someone else's issues.

"Frankly you're lucky it was just down to embers," Pearl said clearly reminiscing the events the last time they had all made it down. So long ago it felt, why had Lapis been helping Pearl, maybe she did care for them even if it had been so long. Maybe it was the fact that Pearl showed genuine care to her recently either way it made her feel better about herself.

"Yeah I still remember you guys rushing me down back to the lake to shove my hands underwater." Lapis started thinking back to that star filled night staring down at her hands. "They didn't even get burned badly at all you guys were just over reacting."

"Then Amethyst had to push us all into the lake, since we dumped you on the dock." Pearl said, it felt like they were secluded in their own little world back to the time when it was just them four at the barn. It was rare that Ruby and Sapphire would join them for it so most their memories of it were just them four.

"Yeah so then we had to force her into the water too, we were laughing so hard," Lapis admitted to the memory like a grim fate.

"Everything was so nice back then, I miss it." Pearl released with a deep breath, looking up Lapis realized she wasn't the only one looking at the floor of the van and only seeing her day dream. A shared day dream made a happy evening when looked back on with friends. _Friends._ "We came back up to the barn hours later and genuinely freaked out Rose and Greg."

"Yeah," Lapis said while they began sitting there in silence once more before it could get interrupted.

"Hey guys we're gonna make a pit stop for gas want to get any snacks?" Greg shouted into the back seat which caused Steven to stir.

"Uh I kind of just got comfortable back here, can someone just grab me Cheetos," Jasper asked. Admittedly it was probably hard for them in the back seat to get comfortable and Lapis needed to stretch her legs anyways.

"Sure I can grab those, want anything uh," Lapis asked forgetting the name to the girl beside Jasper and on further inspection realized that'd be the last person to ask back there. Peridot was out, even with the shouting she still had her head tilted back and was clearly in a different world with each small snore.

"Yeah, how about a sports drink, I'm pretty thirsty. Fruit punch if they have it please." She said back happily, that is all this new girl had shown to be happy to the same degree, it felt odd.

"Sure thing, let's go," Lapis said as Pearl opened her side and elegantly got out while Steven was struggling with climbing out with a decent speed. By the time Steven had gotten out and closed his door Pearl and Lapis were on his side walking into the gas station.

Rose had also started walking along them with her hands excitedly drawn up a little bit. Apparently it had been rare for her to go to gas stations and such so she was excited to see at what they had to offer. Steven was the best versed with them out of the group and ran straight for their frozen section to look for his favorite treat cookie cats.

First thing Lapis did was pick up the other people's objects with Pearl closely behind judging each of the foods for their nutritional values. It made Lapis a bit happy to see her acting like her usual self as she went off to the corner to grab a coffee. It was a bit late for one but she mainly just wanted it for its taste and how rarely she had it. The machine was a regular sized one and she grabbed the medium sized cup from the side as she put down her other objects with Pearl right beside her.

"That stuff is awful for you, you know?" Pearl asked knowing the answer as well, with their previous conversations once they lived with each other.

"Yeah, yeah it's a rare thing though just like this trip." Lapis said slowly filling the cup to the brim and taking a bitter sip before adding the sweetener along the side. Hazelnut seemed good as she poured it in and slowly mixed it with a small red straw.

"Hey Lapis, thanks for earlier you know, talking with me and all," Pearl said shuffling her body to face away from Lapis. Just like Lapis' coffee the words that came from Pearls mouth were bittersweet and just what she needed. Some kind of confidence boost to say maybe she wasn't awful.

They began to check out with Steven grabbing an assortment of stuff, pearl just grabbing a green tea and Lapis with everyone else's objects, coffee and a bag of Doritos. She had seen Peridot grab them a few times, and seen the wrappers in the trash, so clearly the girl ate them and hopefully liked them. Her pockets weren't exactly heavy but definitely could buy friends a few snacks with her recent income.

Rose had also came up to the cash register with many sharable foods like packs of beef jerky, given that Greg had stayed out with the van to fill it up with gas he likely asked for something. With everyone happily standing around buying their products they all eventually left the store together. This time Lapis got in on Steven's side, with it being closest and then quickly moved to the center looking to the back.

After chucking each of them their food and drink she looked at Peridot. She was still passed out and would likely stay that way for the rest of the journey thought Lapis. Pearl had gotten in trying to wave back Lapis' attention briefly before the car ride started.

It had been a quiet trip the rest of the way, constant whispers from the back thanks to Jasper and Bismuth. Steven had been courteous to Peridot and remained quiet to not wake her while Lapis began to pull out her head phones to listen to music the rest of the way, her music. Before setting in her last earphone Pearl had tapped her lightly on the shoulder.

"Mind if I listen too?" Pearl asked, likely wanting to get away from the odd taste of music that was Rose's bouncing through the car. Quickly handing over an earphone she sat there with her head in hand wondering how long it'd take for Pearl to unplug from her music and call it tasteless.

"You might not like it," Lapis said as her songs played on and Pearl didn't seem to care. Through rock to casual music that could be played in an elevator, Pearl stayed through it all. _Maybe Pearl just needs a friend right now? I mean I don't think she's talked to Steven about anything. Why is everyone so secretive about their lives right now?_

Lapis sat there watching the greenery from Pearls side of the car for the rest of the ride peacefully. It was pretty scenic from the forest that swallowed them whole and displayed the beauty of change throughout it. The closer they got to the barn the more difference she noticed since her first time visiting there. Use to have no roads close by but now it felt like there were a few more.

Coming in to sight was a huge wooden building built out of planks and was visibly two stories tall. It had two sliding doors that hung along the front of the building and had a break from the trees for around twenty feet around it but then back to huge forests. The car came to a stop in front of the barn and Bismuth was amazed by it but everyone else that was awake had already been there before.

"Not quite home, sweet home eh?" Greg said as he turned the car off. Slowly everyone began shuffling out of the car, Steven seemed to explode out unlike the rest. With sore legs Lapis began stretching them to look back and see her short friend still sleeping, little over three hours of sleep.

"Can one of you two wake up Peridot," Lapis asked taking her first step out of the car, to which Jasper began prodding the poor girl.

"Sure thing… Wake up Peridot," Jasper said softly to her. The last sight inside the car for Lapis was Peridots eyes slowly opening. With pain in her legs from being stationary for so long she began walking over to the back of the car to retrieve their luggage. Steven hadn't even grabbed his things, as Rose visibly sighed at the boy running straight for the barn. Rose ended up carrying as much as Greg did, she actually was quite strong possibly stronger than Greg as well.

Their two bags together were a bit heavy, Peridots and Lazuli's. Jasper and Bismuth seemed to just have backpacks brought along with them that were a decent size. Peridot rushed over to Lazuli's side as they finally actually got into the barn. With large sliding doors that creaked as if each day, time was getting the best of it.

Large amounts of clear space ran along the bottom of the barn until it got to the center which had a ladder. Leading up to the top was a large square of more flooring that looked paper thin and terrifying to walk on to say the least. It was only them it seemed, unlike Steven, Lazuli knew nothing of if family would actually show up this time or just have another round of not being able to make it.

Along the left side of the barn was endless stacks of wood that was all chopped up. It seemed to make a barrier fortifying that wall as if they were at war. Variances of light orange were layered upon the barn as the hills were being kissed by the sun outside.

"Since it's going to be dark soon we should set up our sleeping arrangement before we do anything else," Greg said slowly flinging out his sleeping bag. Curiously Lapis looked over to Jasper thinking about how all she brought was a back pack to watch her chuck a large blanket out of her bag as well. Everyone took a bit setting things up along with Steven going around messing with people making the process take a lot longer.

Sudden realization that Peridot didn't have a sleeping bag thrown into her bag came along. A short breath of panic came out as she looked across to Peridot sitting down with her bag on her lap. All she remembered putting in that green bag was the clothes on the bed, Peridot was really tired. As she set her bag on top of her sleeping bag laid out she began walking over to the sitting girl. Maybe it was a bad idea but care was a double edged knife and if she had to get cut to assure help to her then it'd be alright.

"Hey, are you alright?" Lapis asked to the girl who still look as if she was drunk with no sleep. When they crossed eyes the blonde looked away once again quite quickly, Lapis held her look though not willing to look away at the moment.

"Well, as you would know I don't have my sleeping bag," Peridot said as a matter of fact with the bag slightly opened enough to see the insides. A few clothes of hers laid besides her decorating the dull wooden floor with a few more greens.

 _Sleep in mine, sleep in mine, sleep in mine…_ "Well, you could use mine…?" Lapis asked casually trying to shift her face away to avoid any terrible reaction she could imagine. Unluckily her peripherals could see Peridots face shift into concern, she didn't seem angry though.

"Like sleep together… again?" Peridot asked back with clear concern in her voice. It likely wasn't angry because anger only tended to be prominent whenever she would get one of those calls that both of them dreaded so. Even after their conversation yesterday she was more so confused than angry until that call, angry or sad depending on the circumstances maybe.

"No you can have it to yourself I'll find somewhere else," Lapis said while everyone was still shuffling around. She watched as Steven left the barn to run around the forest and Jasper and Bismuth followed close behind.

"Why? It's your bed," Peridot asked clearly not wanting to take something that wasn't hers.

"Well I'm going to be sleeping elsewhere anyways so just take it okay?" Lapis said as she finally started looking back to the girl. Peridot was so small and it was hard to not see when she was already sitting on the floor with items just as wide as her.

"Where?" Peridot asked grasping at her clothes slowly putting them back into her small bag.

"Outside, I always do on the first night here," Lapis lied knowing it was the only way it would work out that Peridot would sleep in a more comfortable area. The outside or the rough floor would eat her alive, _she's so small and weak_.

"No."

"Well I'm not taking no for an answer, take it tonight and I'll take it back tomorrow night, now let's go rejoin everyone else." Lapis quickly was walking away towards outside with the rest of them.

Steven, Jasper and Bismuth had started up a game of tag of sorts that was quickly disrupting into madness. Bismuth was it and ran up to Lapis with a harsh tap on the shoulder that had nearly knocked her to the floor and then shouted, "You're it." Lapis had glared back at her which visibly scared Bismuth as she had pushed the unknown before Lapis took off into full sprint.

"Get your ass back here," Lapis playfully shouted and like a deer in the headlights that realized its situation Bismuth began running again. While she was running around easily faster than anyone in the group she passed by Steven lightly tapping him on the shoulder. After that she raced away into the forest to try and grasp some peace and quiet to which she found Pearl on the path.

"Oh uh hello there Lapis, what brings you over here?" Pearl asked clearly nervous of the girl slightly out of breath beside her. The forest held some small paths, and this one was the best one to visit the lake.

"Just getting out of a game of tag and decided to go down to the lake, with you I guess." _Maybe Pearl isn't too bad…_ Together they went down to the lake and ended up just walking around it together for a bit talking about previous adventures as the light faded into the edge of the forest.


	13. Unorthodox Cuddling

Note: Hey guys Adojo here, just wanted to warn everyone that this chapter has a moment of Lapis having a sort of Panic attack thing and talking about her past I'm going to put some - those things around it so if you're the type to get upset over those kinds of things just avoid it for your own sake. Jester Of Chaos and Kristina Thanks for the Reviews, Till the trip is over I'm updating every Wednesday as well. Just noticed it isn't letting me put those things to show where you should skip over I'm sorry.

"That is why they could never get along you know that right?" Pearl was nearly shouting at how excited she was during their conversation. Lapis had noticed that Pearl could get loud quite quickly when stirring up a conversation that she had a lot of interest in and or knowledge.

"Yeah but you can't deny that there is potential," Lapis noted while Pearl brought her hand up in the dark along her chin as if thinking over Lazuli's point. The blue haired girl had a good end of the day, spending it near the lake with Pearl just having a nice walk. The trees had their tones shifted towards dark as if the night sky had polished everything around it with its colors.

They continued talking while the closer they got to the barn the more other vibrant colors began spilling across the forest. In front was a small fire with several people sitting around it along logs with the metal fireplace in the center. It was like a camping spot fire place that Greg only told people he acquired it and never revealed the whole story on how that came to be there. With no other cars around it signaled that the only family that would be here tonight would be her friends and Steven and his parents.

The people sitting around the fire actually happened to be the whole group with a cooler right between Greg and Jasper. They each had a beer in hand while most of the group just seemed to be having a nice conversation amongst each other. Bismuth didn't happen to have a beer in her hand either the closer she got to the group.

"Laaaapissss!" Steven yelled jumping off his log as they both approached. He ran over with wide arms grabbing both Pearl and Lapis into a hug.

"Why didn't you shout Pearls name as well?" asked Lapis with a slight laugh in her voice with the cheerful boy hugging them. He was sweet and much like the stars in the night, the only light thing her life she could see at times.

"Well I knew where she was, you up and left and never came back," Steven said slowly letting go to lead them over to the fire. They each took their seats before Lapis could get a chance to respond and the others around had small waves and smiles before continuing their stories.

"Yeah I decided to go to the lake and we happened to run into each other," Lapis said sitting beside Stevens spot to watch Pearl sit beside her.

"More like you ran into me, she was running like hounds were after her or something." Pearl said almost sounding arrogant before a light smile signaled it as a joke. From the few people that actually ended up listening to them, a few of them laughed from Pearl saying that.

"Hey guys how about we tell some stories," Greg happily said to the whole group loud enough to draw every ones attention. Everyone seemed interested with small voices over the crackling fire agreeing with it, but a shadow of a grin displayed as well.

"How about we talk about our pasts?" Jasper asked as it began to go quiet with a gentle orange glow flowing across everybody's faces. Warmth of the small fire was barely noticeable from how far Lazuli was from it and the area already being warm due to summer, you know that one season which Lazuli actually could survive outside at night.

"Why," Steven asked with eyebrows pressed together and genuine concern lavishing his voice. The silence remained as if waiting for the day the fire would just become embers.

"Well so we can know each other a bit better, last time we played a game about our pasts no one really knew each other's to a degree so this would bring us together. One more deal about it though, whenever you've felt or been in a similar situation you drink we can do half the group tonight and again tomorrow to finish off." Jaspers voice usually had an air of confidence and tonight it was full of it.

"Well I mean Rose and I are actually going to hit the hay soon guys, so I don't know if we can get through that many." Greg said pulling his arm around Rose who happily smiled back and hugged him before they refocused on the group.

"How about we flip a coin if its heads you tell a story and if not you have the right to pass," Jasper said quickly figuring out a way to avoid that mess. The mess of it taking much too long to finish everybody's past.

"Does the fact that you'll always relate to your own story mean that you have to constantly be chugging beer during it," Rose said with a huge smile. Greg appeared to be fumbling around his bag before they could start the game they needed a coin.

"Rose…" Jasper had a huge smile from her comment and she shook her head slightly at the thought of that. "No but I mean everyone is free to drink whenever they want so if you feel the need to chug with your whole story than go for it." Jasper had said back in a low voice, looking around Lapis had thought about it and this conversation was going pretty well for this size of a group.

"Hey," a small voice and a light tap on her shoulder drew her vision away from the group to the girl that sat beside her. Pearl seemed to be scrunched together with her legs held together and her arms wrapped around said legs.

"Hi," Lapis said back with a slight awkwardness edging her voice with the surprising conversation bestowed upon her. _Ignoring others to have a conversation what is Pearl thinking_. Pearl usually didn't act like this at the very least she would usually wait for a good moment before dragging out a conversation.

"Would you be willing to play this game…? I mean with your past," Pearl asked with knowledge on her past briefly showing concern. The orange glow of the fire made expressions mean more, it seemed as the colors added contrast with darks and lights. Beginning to question herself, having to evaluate the truths she would be willing to say and the darkness she wasn't willing to relive.

"Genuine concern from Pearl for me? Must be my birthday," Lapis just smiled back unsure how to answer it herself. Those words were thought back to after being said, realizing that it was as if she was joking to a friend, yet she was just avoiding something.

With a large sigh Pearl shook her head before looking back at the fire and the conversation that was booming between Steven and Jasper now. "Careful is all I'm saying, you don't need those dreams tonight." The soft words felt like a battering ram to Lazuli's heart, how did she know about those she frantically thought. Even when she was dating Amethyst they didn't really talk about them all that much, if anything Lazuli would just occasionally be extremely clingy and she would have to deal with it.

 _I wouldn't tell her that ever, how could she possibly know about that, what is she hiding?_ Lapis stood up and began walking around the blazing warmth. _Why is she acting this way to me, she's been kind and hasn't really even irritated me once, somethings wrong._ She picked up a few beers from the cooler before turning back to walk over to her spot. _I can find out later now isn't the time, now is the time to just try and listen to others shitty pasts_.

Sitting down she handed Pearl a beer, knowing she didn't care much for the taste but to at least force her to play along in the game. "Thanks…" Pearl had said back looking down at it before hitting the top of the can with her nails several times before opening it. Like a tradition that caused a chain reaction of Lapis hitting the top of the can several times before driving the metal through the top.

"Alright so since we're going to bed soon we'll start this show," Greg said before making a big display of flipping the coin high into the air. To which he didn't catch it and began scrounging around on the floor for it. "Hah heads it is well any suggestions guys?" Greg asked the group with an extensive past behind him.

"How about how you love birds got together," Bismuth loudly said before anyone else could persuade their words to go out. Her voice was cheerful and now thanks to Jasper slowly passing around beers she had one as well. Since no one had any other idea to speak up against it, just remained slightly silent beside the crackling fire and the insides of Lazuli's mind going off. Looking beside Pearl she could just see the rough figure of Peridot at the way end of their log while there was only two other ones.

 _Would Peridot be honest with herself in this game and drink whenever something came up with that she felt? I'd kind of like to know,_ Lapis thought with a sigh towards the end.

"So before most you youngsters were even put on this planet I had won the women of my dreams. I had a show to do along the beach side and after the first few songs everyone had went home besides one tall girl in the back. After the show, she came up to me and she was stunning," Greg said with so much joy in his voice while everyone took a few sips. "So she asked for one of my shirts and I just gave it to her," Greg tried to continue but Rose wouldn't allow it.

"Actually you threw off your shirt and tried to give that one to me," Rose said with a chuckle while a few more laughs were heard thinking of the event unfolding.

"And you loved it baby," Greg said happily before looking around and now the fire was painting him orange but he was finishing it off with red. "Well so after that, I managed to get said beautiful girls' number," Lapis drank to that. "And back then we didn't really even have texting so the most I could do is give her a phone call and so that's what we did. We talked non-stop for I don't know a week? Before I mustered up the courage to ask her out."

"And I said yes," Rose gladly said smiling down at the man she sat next too, she was oddly tall. It was comforting though whenever she hugged people she could just seem to engulf them, at least Lapis liked it.

"Yeah, well that's my story at least, would you like to go next?" Greg asked holding out the coin to Rose, she held out her hand to grab onto it as it fell.

"Sure thing, but I'd kind of happily tell a story regardless so is it really necessary to flip this?" Rose asked happily looking out to the group.

"What's the worst argument you guys have had," Jasper asked with her confidence spilling forward and a quick glare for Rose. She threw the coin into the air watching it flip down to her hand, she caught it and flipped it over on her hand.

"Alright I guess that's something I'd be okay without reliving, tails." Rose held out the coin to Steven, who had a concerned face, Lapis drank to that line. Like the constant shifting smoke, it soon fell onto their side, Steven taking in a breath.

"So any question for me before I flip this coin?" Steven asked looking out into the group of people. He seemed nervous like he always did, when something quite personal came up that he didn't have knowledge about. It was one of the things Lapis really admired, even when he was nervous he still stood up to challenges regardless of how hard it might be for him.

"What was your worst fight with Connie?" Jasper asked possibly unaware of them being separated at this point, to which Steven flipped it. Lapis could feel the tension on her friend as he threw the coin through the air. As it landed on the floor, her heart stopped for her small friend as he picked it up and flipped it onto his hand, a long sigh.

"Tails…" Steven said looking down with eyes closed that could visibly see the strain of wishing to close them further. He held out the coin to Lazuli and her heart was tearing at the sight, even Jasper seemed quite concerned realizing the landmine she had stepped on that blew them all out of the water. If Steven wasn't happy, no one in the entire world should be allowed to be happy but here everyone was, most of them having fun telling stories. Hurt.

"Alright Jasper do your worst." Lapis said confidently looking at her friend from across the fire with life sparking in her eye from the challenge. She flipped the coin placing it on her hand while she waited for the question, her confidence verses the dread of a question.

"How did you ask each other out?" Bismuth asked pointing to pearl and Lapis with a huge dorky smile delivering joy to herself and concern to everyone else. Lapis' choked on her own emotions with the unexpected question, unable to reasonably respond as she looked beside her and Pearl was dying. Pearls face was bright red and holding up one hand pointed unable to release words to everyone else, like a broken down android.

"They aren't together," Peridot said in a low voice, forcing eyes to drift over to her. "I'll drink to that," if Lapis wasn't mistaken she heard a bit of irritation subtly put into those words. Lapis dropped all the words and emotions in her head faster than an anvil to watch the girl just past pearl lift the beer and begin to drink it. It was as if that beer was the answer to the disappointment in her words because she was trying to get rid of it quite quickly.

"Yeah, that would be absolutely absurd," Pearl stuttered out of her mouth with her brain on fire, which was visible to anyone that took half a second to look at her. Bismuth looked utterly shocked for a few moments before she once again had a huge smile. Lapis just felt odd about the whole situation, Peridots reaction was priceless to her but besides that _, huh odd_.

"Oh okay, you ask then Jasper," Bismuth said roughly patting down Jaspers head with both of them wearing a smile and everyone's mood shifted in different directions from previous moments. It was as if time took them each to a different room and threw some in fields and others in volcanos.

"Planned on it, Lapis, you need to start talking about this… what is the worst your mother has done to you?" Jasper asked her challenging face dropping into a genuine concern, jaw dropped she slowly lifted the coin. Like the edge of the infernal that was the underworld has unwrapped Lazuli's hands from the edge of heaven her state fell like the fate that landed it on heads.

A deep sigh and concentration looking into the time on which her own brain attempted at concealing until she was at an unprotected sleep. "When my mother… attempted to off us both," Lapis scoffed trying to hide her real emotions towards it like she always did to herself. Bury them deeper and deeper until the sunlight can't reach them to let them grow, but shadows only breed hate and fear, the very shadows she had buried them in.

"It was the first day back from school after winter break, one of those years y'know." Several people drank to the memory or lack thereof remembering which year is which, Lazuli only sighed at her own thoughts before she had to take another deep breath. Steven and Pearl along her peripherals were gone, the only sight she could see was deep inside the fire reliving an unfortunate day or possibly her most fortunate day.

"She had dinner made for the first time since then," taking a gulp at her own thoughts with saliva that felt like a brick dragging down the back of her tongue, Suffocating. Eyes beginning to flicker from sane to the frantic state she use to delve into every day at least from panic attacks, she couldn't eat. Air started to feel heavy as if it could weigh her down, she took a sip, void of taste. "She smiled at me." Sweat was coming forth along her forehead as she attempted to speak.

Lapis voice was starting to fail her, like it was welling up tears in her eyes as she spoke, choking on her own words, " _Smiled."_ Her sight was fading even worse as fear started lashing at the back of her mind. _It wasn't my fault, it was my fault, it wasn't my fault, "It was my fault."_ Lapis said aloud as it became unclear to others, others didn't matter though she couldn't notice them at this point, it hurt. Like a knife in the back of her throat and a hand clenching her heart and her hand ended up clenching the fabric around her chest.

Her voice started apposing silence as she got louder trying to fight the mirage of her own head, "she asked for me to sit down and eat with her. I tried to say no, because it scared me… it scared me. I knew something was wrong," with those words the pain started getting worse and her head started to heave shadows throughout her sight. It almost sounded like others were starting to talk to her or trying to get something from her, from her, from her.

"When I wouldn't do it, shouting happened, crashes," the sounds of breaking glass sputtered through her head with the occasional mirror piece falling in front of her vision. _I still feel it, my back it's starting to hurt, again._ "After the voices left, she," _It's really hurting again._ "Grabbed one of the knifes from the kitchen, and held me," _Why couldn't it have ended there. All this._

Something was holding around her sides, she couldn't notice it, she could barely feel it as she etched her last words into the air. "She cut a tear drop into my back, that's the worst one," Lapis was all out balling and her heart hurt, her back hurt. Fear was burrowing deep into her mind as she dredged forward trying to burry herself back into waking moments. She failed.

The darkness and pain merged into one with a faint screech piercing her ears she fell forward on the ground, barely missing the warmth she felt. She never felt the floor though, close to it at best and only noticeable that she didn't thanks to two support beams holding her up. Her hair, it felt movement, a small amount, noticeable. The whole world was spinning shadows and her entire brain was a carrousel of fear and pain.

 _Breathe, breathe,_ "Breathe," Someone else's voice, someone else's hand. It was only at this moment that her brain could process another word she had barely ever come to in her life, _Help_. "It's going to be alright, you're," It was cutting out again, to just breaths being taken from their peaceful life in the sky to be forced down her lungs.

"Lazuli please be okay," a nasally voice was interrupting her fear, like a chip in a mirror it slowly spread until all of it was breaking.

"Peridot, this use to happen a bit, just stay calm, we need to try and calm her down," Pearl? Lapis was now fully laid down with softness surrounding her as she opened her eyes to look at three familiar faces surrounding her. Rose, Pearl and Peridot were the three that were with her, not taking the effort to look around she just focused on the thing that calmed her the most. Bright green with a golden ring around the pitch black pupil, the eyes that had changed to fear but were still there for her.

Someone was petting her head, unknown but she was okay with it, for whoever it was, was calming her bit by bit more. Breaths were starting to stabilize as she looked at them, shadows were the first to leave as her vision fully cleared out to look at their worried faces and Roses bittersweet smile. Next was the pain lurching all over her body that caused her to begin to sweat previously. Lastly, breath was fully returned and words were starting to root themselves in her head to try and be spoken to them.

"Sorry," Lapis slowly said as she was coming to the situation, it was Rose that was petting her head, guess that was pretty obvious. She had a strange hope in her head that Peridot had been the clingy one which would have been absurd as well. Their faces upon hearing sorry was a mix of worry from pearl to irritation from Peridot.

"Sorry? We're worried sick for you, don't be sorry just let us help you," Peridot said drenching her words in concern as they went towards the end of them. Shifting her arms a bit back while trying to lift herself up was denied by the large hands of Rose with a gentle face that pleaded for her to stay laying down. As her back pressed once again against the sleeping bag beneath her she took one final action, dragging her arms into the air.

"Peridot?" Lapis asked as her arms drew closer to the blonde.

"What?" Peridot tried to ask while Lapis arms grabbed along the back of Peridot to drag her forward and with the small amount of resistance another hand helped. Rose had given Peridot a slight push over so that she would fall beside Lapis and with that she held her tight. The blonde gave a small shriek as she fell down, it was cute to Lapis, and even though they were separated by a layer she could still feel her warmth. This was a bit of an odd way to snuggle and by odd means of getting there.

"We'll give you two some privacy," Rose said placing her hand along Pearls shoulder to clearly drag her away from the scene. Pearl looked vaguely uncomfortable, maybe it wasn't time to try and read peoples expressions though, Lazuli thought to herself. Peridot had roughly tore her head up to respond to them.

"What do you mean by that," Peridot yelled back to them waiting a few moments with no response. "Wow thanks!" Peridot yelled once more with Lapis' hands around her waist waiting for her to lay down once more.

"You can go rejoin them if you want," sly words had left her mouth as she burrowed her face into the pillow like end of the bag. It was soft and it didn't reject her when she dug herself into it.

"It's alright they'll just ask me about my past then or something dumb along those lines if it's up to that other girl." The green eyed girl responded while slowly setting into the covers along her. Lazuli helped hold it up as if it were a red blanket that she could then mingle under with her. With eyes facing to the other side of the barn and Lazuli's just staring at the back of her head they laid there. Peridot was warm, with Lazuli wrapping her arms around her, one on her waist and the other under her neck.

"What happened in your past?" Lazuli asked pulling her slightly closer as if to engrave Peridots back into her stomach.

"It's boring don't worry about it." Peridot said in a low voice, with a large sigh leaving her lips quite shortly after. "Thought I said no more weird stuff."

"Want me to grab Steven too? He can sleep with us but I'm not sharing with Jasper as well," Lapis happily said trying to avoid other words flowing through herself. She was tired, not in a sleep type but in a world of stress felt like it had just collapsed on her type of tired.

"Ugh, you know what I mean," Peridot softly said back clearly giving into the situation that had unfolded for them. "So are you going to tell me?"

"Sorry, tomorrow night okay?"

"Fine."

"Sorry for being so clingy right now, I'm so many mixed up emotions, I haven't acted that way in a long time…" Lapis pressed the words through the air, it felt draining and a bit too real for her at the moment. Taking a deep inhale before training her ears back to what the other girl would respond with.

"Acted? Lapis I'm worried sick, they said something about this being a problem from before? You need to get help." Peridot said struggling out of her grip to slowly turn her face towards her, only a few inches spared them of distance.

"I'll be alright," with a sullen voice matching her look she gazed back at the others eyes. It was entrancing to look into them, especially this close, however the lack of light really took away from the feeling. "Also you guys brought me into a dark area during it, not the best place." Lapis gave a small laugh as she thought to herself about the whole situation.

"Oh… sorry," Peridot had turned away once again, it fell silent. Moments passed by and Greg and Rose had come into the barn to sleep as well. Before that Peridot had fallen asleep, it left Lapis with the antsy feeling of wanting to smother her body with her hands that she was used to when they were in close proximity.

As others began to fill the Barn in the dark night Lapis began to become more restless. Snoring and other noises echoed off the wall signaling that everyone had fallen asleep except something dragged Lapis to her feet. Slowly tip toeing along the floor hoping that the creaking noises wouldn't deflate the dreams of everyone around her. Along with a heavy door that scraped the very wood underneath it with each touch.

The dark sky had starlight bouncing off the dark purplish sky, as if to reflect to give a mirage of light to the field around her. With crimson mixing with orange and black inside the fire pit giving off light that was willing to move to anything around it. A subtle breeze tugging at her clothing and hair as she kept walking. A night like this was something she couldn't see at home, or at least not often and it was something that she craved to see each day. While the ocean was beautiful it was a constant while night was a constant destroyed by light pollution.

"Lapis?" A voice penetrated the vibrant night to draw her eyes to the shadows beyond the fire place. The voice contained a bit of compassion and concern as if the way she said that word showed her inner self.

"Yeah?" Lapis said back looking to try and figure out who it could have been to say her name.

"It's Pearl. What are you doing up right now? Thought you went to sleep with Peridot?" Pearl asked drawing close enough to actually see her well, while it should have been obvious due to her stick thin body.

"Eh had to get a look at the sky while I still could." Lapis calmly stated back as Pearl drew even closer. She was just barely a few inches away by the time that Lapis had finished her response.

"You two are awfully close huh?" Pearl asked with a bitter sound in the back of her words, like a mixture of sad and disappointment. With eyes locking and lack of color due to the dull amount of light they stared at each other.

"Yeah, I want to ask her out why?" It was obvious to Lazuli and she wanted to state it as much as possible in any way before she had to draw the courage to actually do it. Pearl had a light sigh at those words released to her.

"I mean it's good you found someone to love, just know I support you fully." Pearl said and had started to wrap her arms around Lazuli's shoulders. Her fingers were spindly like the bones could be pressed out at each area, with her palm soft like her arms pressed to her back.

"Pearl? Are you alright?" Lapis questioned slowly drawing up her hands as well to try and complete the hug, feeling slightly awkward. She had an odd smell on her breath that Lazuli was spacing out on at the moment.

"Yeah, just been a rough couple days I guess." Pearl said slowly drawing back having their eyes keep in contact with a mere couple inches between them. Something very intimate about eyes so close to each other, like looking into the pits of their mind at its current state. Not wanting to be that way any longer Lapis drew back a bit from the clingy girl.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Lapis asked as Pearl took a few steps back into the shadow from once she came. Lapis took a few steps to follow over to the make shift chairs of Logs they used.

"Maybe, honestly who cares right? I asked Amethyst out and she just laughed…" Pearl said a bit loudly till the end on which it fell off. Her voice had life in it but all of it was drenched in the memory of before which happened to be awful, Pearl always seemed to be looking back on things.

"She just laughed…?" Lapis questioned sort of concerned at how the conversation was turning as she sat with just a few inches from the other warmth of tonight, Pearl.

"She thought I was just joking and when I made sure she knew I was serious it got quiet… you know that moment in a relationship when you realize you screw up? That was myself when I asked and heard her laugh…" Lapis felt bad hearing these things. She knew that Pearl was likely telling the truth and she had no reason to lie, but what held them back.

"But I mean, I still have you and maybe one day she'll see she should have taken me up on it right?" Pearly shortly questioned before Lapis felt heat engulf her hand to look down at the frail hands cupping hers. Worry was becoming prominent in her head, today had produced enough stress and this continuing wasn't helping but what could she do.

"Yeah, so you're still going after her right?" Lapis asked as Pearl was fully turned towards her and had Lapis' hand with both of hers.

"Well I'm not so sure, we don't really get along all the time and there are others right?" Lapis wasn't fully sure what Pearl was asking and didn't really want to dare to figure it out, looking down at her hand she was carefully deciding what to do while Pearl was already on the move. "Would you do something for me?" Pearl softly said only seeming to get closer, red flag, red flag is all Lapis could think not wanting to look up to Pearl.

"Depends… what is it?" Lapis nervously asked as she felt a hand lightly caress her face and fear sky rocket in the back of her mind as she was dragged up. Eyes locked once again, "and how many drinks did you have." Now realizing the slight smell of beer on her breath, not enough though to be drunk and Pearl wasn't exactly the type to even drink enough to get drunk.

"Can we talk a bit more every now and again? I mean you disappeared and I'm sorry for what I did but I have missed you." With that Lazuli dragged her hand away and began to stand up aware of what might be racing through Pearls mind or more so feared what could be.

"Yeah, I'm going to head back to bed… I guess just call me whenever or maybe even come over." Lapis quietly said as she got close to the cabin.

"Good night."

"Night."


	14. Drowning Beauty

Notes: Hey guys, I'm going to be doing a bit of Art for this fanfic and posting it on my tumblrr my user is Adojoa if you're interested. This is the last Wednesday update for a little bit since the trip is over on this Saturday chapter update, sorry. It has been one hell of a trip and I'm happy for the out come of each chapter and I hope that everyone enjoys this chapter as well. Also BteaD did a wonderful drawing for Stale Life I'll reblog it, It truly is wonderful and I'm thankful for all the support from everyone thank you.

Everyone was up and splitting between Greg and Steven and the rest of the group, they had to change before they went down to the lake. Steven and Greg would sit outside while everyone changed and then would meet them down there apparently. Lapis had brought a pair of shorts just for this occasion much like Peridot she didn't feel very well about exposing her body to everyone around her.

Peridot had gotten changed underneath the cover of the sleeping bag while some others went out behind the barn to get changed. Lapis wasn't paying as much attention because she wanted to just get it over with, ending up only sliding on some shorts quickly at the edge of the barn behind a support beam that was a reasonable size. As she was walking back to meet up with Peridot she saw Pearl finish up putting on her swimsuit confidently.

That gave Lapis a slight sigh realizing that she was so scared to let others see her body and Jasper and Bismuth were already gone, they probably left for the lake right when they woke up.

"Oh yeah I forgot to give these to you but I bought these when we were at a gas station for you," Lapis said searching through her bag to find the small red bag of chips. Peridot happily opened them before looking around and sticking a few in her mouth. She held up the bag to Lapis to offer some but Lapis just lifted her hand shaking it slightly as a no thanks.

"Wow thanks," Peridot said as she finished up the few in her mouth. They began to stand up, Peridot was in a pair of pitch black trunks that matched the same ones Lapis was wearing, concealing not too much but just enough.

"No problem," Lapis said as they began to head out as well, to catch up with Rose and Pearl who were walking side by side. Pearl and Rose use to hang out quite a bit before, Pearl even had an odd obsession with that girl, Lapis remembered all the times she would talk about how great she was. As a mom she was wonderful but Lapis wouldn't really reveal that to anyone to let them know how she truly felt about the situation.

They had playful chatter and it seemed as if Pearl was having a hard time deciding between talking with rose and running back to the small group of Lapis and Peridot. Rose however did need help carrying things like all the spare towels she brought to take into account for the other forgetful people like Steven and Lapis. Peridot didn't have one either but she wasn't even told she would need one to begin with so that wasn't really her fault.

"I like the forest here," Lapis softly exclaimed as they walked together. The trees were pretty thick with only a few feet between them but it made a mesmerizing sight of color as the trees held lots of different shades of green and plenty of memories of orange.

"It's nice," Peridot sounded slightly confused as she looked around at the area Lapis was admiring for beauty. Their trip was full of everyone seeing what each other does and doesn't like about nature. Lapis could see the beauty in most things while Peridot looked at it once and thought it was alright at best.

One thing that Lapis had accounted for was Peridots expression once they came to the lake. It was a huge crater of blue with plenty of the forest reaching the edge of it as if feeding into the water with its roots. The spot they often made their spot was a small break of trees maybe only twenty feet that had a nice dirt path straight to it and a black canoe sitting along the edge of the water. Lapis was right.

Peridot had scanned over the lake several times, looking at all the changes across it some areas had dense forest some had plenty of greens growing in the water as well, like lily pads. Coming to a complete stop before stepping on the sand Peridot had tugged at the side of Lazuli's shirt.

"This is the lake?" Peridot asked clearly in awe of the beauty for once, being able to appreciate that made her slightly happy to think about.

"Yeah isn't it beautiful?" Lapis said aloud just barely looking down at the girl beside her, so close she could easily grasp her hand. Peaceful sigh escaped her body as she stepped forward relinquishing her thoughts from becoming possibilities. It was a foot drop with then a steady decline until it reached the waters, they had constant ripples flowing through them it seemed.

Along the crystal like lake had several people perched around the rim of it playing in the water, due to it being in a low population area the other very few people were likely the only people coming. With huge splashes Jasper and Bismuth were disrupting the peaceful center of the lake along with Steven rushing out of the forest to go group up with them.

As everyone began setting down their stuff, Greg had now finally caught up to the group in a slow run holding his sides with Steven already in the deep side of the lake.

"Man that kid can run," Greg said after a long gasp, coming up just behind Peridot.

"Tried to keep up old man?" Lapis said happily back at her now diverted attention to the man walking alongside Peridot. It was warm, as if the sun was a light blanket covering every speck of land around them and Lapis enjoyed it.

"Yeah it's not fair though I'm double his age," his breath had stabilized a bit as he slowly walked up to Rose and set his stuff alongside hers. "Hey there, how are you doing," Greg said as Rose had just sat down in a lawn chair they carried along, seeing this as a chance as Peridot was stepping towards the water Lapis looked for someone else.

"Hey Pearl," Lapis said drawing the attention away from the beautiful lake and back into the slightly dark forest behind them.

"Yes?" Pearl asked back questioning, slowly taking a few steps towards Lapis with Lapis drawing her hand back to signal walking in to the forest. Pearl obliged and they both took a small walk into the green palace. "Well what is it?"

"I just had a few questions from the things you said to me last night," Lapis calmly said wanting to make sure a good amount of distance had fell between them and the rest of the group. Taking steps off the path and into the denser areas allowed Lazuli a safe feeling that even if Steven wanted to run out and find them that he wouldn't.

They found a small circle that had dense forestry all around it, like a small little meeting room just for them, drawing a bit closer Lapis decided she could finally start.

"So how do you know about those dreams I have?" Lapis asked with a bit of an edge to her voice, she didn't mean for it but it came along too quick for her to halt it. The light shined in through the top as the sun was beginning to fall just above them.

"What do you mean?" Pearl asked fumbling back a little bit.

"Last night you said you wouldn't want me having one of those dreams, you know that I dream about my past and I want to know how?" Lapis had now taken a step forward to close a bit of distance between them so that she could look her in the eyes easier. Pearl shook like jelly whenever someone would confront her on lies and it was quite easy to do.

"Well you use to sleep out on the couch quite a bit when you two would fight and I've heard you a couple times," Pearl said avoiding eye contact by staring at the floor.

"Heard?" Lapis questioned quite confused from the turn of events unraveling before her eyes. Panic was releasing in the back of her head as she took a deep breath, it was not time to freak out about everyone possibly knowing some horrible things.

"You'd mainly just say stuff like stop or help, and that's why sometimes when you'd wake up I'd be there making tea or something to try and ease you." Pearl still wasn't willing to look up and Lapis was thankful for that and thankful to look back on those memories of them. She remembered waking up in the middle of the night almost falling off the sofa to see Pearl in the kitchen heating up some water for tea. Lapis didn't care too much for tea but she had that and also had shared conversation for a bit that night.

"Oh… Thanks," Lapis was forming thoughts in her head that fell off a cliff leading to a dead end when it came to trying to continue the conversation.

"Your welcome Lapis," Pearl said looking up at her, Lapis felt kind of bad for how harsh her voice was at the start of this but she wasn't done.

"Also who caught me yesterday?" Lapis questioned remembering that she didn't get caught on fire the day before and that something had saved her from that.

"Well I do have to say Steven grabbed you first and then I grabbed your other side and then after we walked a few steps towards the Barn Rose carried you the rest of the way. She then told Steven to stay behind with the others, so you wouldn't open your eyes to ten people around you." Pearl was talking a bit more confidently about this and Lapis appreciated her not trying to shelter it away from Lapis.

"Alright thanks for telling me and also for uh saving me," Lapis said turning away to start walking back towards the way they came. "Also want to have a race across the lake for old times' sake?" Lapis asked which seemed to excite Pearl as a smile spread across her face and she paced forwards.

"Thought you would never ask, I wonder if you'll even be able to make it across with how much you've slimed down." Pearl teased pointing at Lazuli's lack of stomach as they walked back, they began taunting each other about different flaws. Pearl was wearing a small white bikini that hugged her frame and it appeared she was roughly the same Size as Lapis but she had always been like that.

"Who knows maybe you'll get swallowed by the waves Jasper and Bismuth are creating," Lapis casually said speeding up her walking pace to leave a bit of distance between herself and Pearl.

"Please, they couldn't cause something that monstrous," Pearl said as they slowly began to see the water ahead of them. Waves ended up actually lapping a bit heavier than what Lapis saw earlier with Bismuth and Jasper closer to the shore. Peridot was just standing in the water up to her feet not daring to go any further in a conversation with Steven as they turned back to Look at the two racing by.

"Hey guys," Steven said which by this point Pearl and Lapis were running full throttle into the water, it was cold. The waves stuck close to Lazuli's body as if lapping up her, getting closer to her midsection. It wasn't too cold just enough for a brief shock as she drove her whole body into the waves, like a refreshing shift her whole body and mental state shifted. Beside her Pearl who took a bit longer before she would fully dive her body under water.

"See you later Pearl," Lazuli said as her body was sparked to life, the feeling of cold was gone and just something else. Soothing, her whole body going relaxed with each hand that reached forward for each stroke, just a little bit faster.

"As if," Pearl said frantically throwing her body forward staying along the side of Lapis. Both of them weren't going full speed knowing that the swim across and back happened to actually be quite a distance and knowing going all out would just ruin them. It felt amazing the change from air to water frequently as each Hand drove deep into the sea. Breath was changing, over demanding a bit more air from the limitless sky above hand strokes causing art of travel across the way.

"Wait, I'm going to win," Said a loud voice coasting over the water to both their ears, sparing a sly glimpse at the waters behind when pulling her body back there she saw. All force going into each consuming huge depths of water was Steven using all his energy just to try and catch up.

"Slow poke," Lapis harshly yelled back not daring to let him catch up pushing her arms once more to gain a bit of momentum. Pearl seemed to have the same idea as they both sped up a bit, Pearl was actually gaining a bit on Lapis until they were neck to neck. Lazuli was starting to regret her choice of attire that was dragging along each ounce of water as if to chain her down.

Her shirt was loose and allowed a bit of resistance to the water as if a weight and same as her trunks she wore that were a bit on the large side. Deep breaths, to draw in more oxygen to power herself forward, it felt almost as if flying when traveling through water and it was one of the few times Lazuli lost her emotions to freedom.

"How about we turn around once we tag a lily pad," Lapis half shouted out to Pearl along her side just hoping that she would hear so that it wouldn't have to be yelled once more.

"Fine," Pearl said sounding tired and irritated, it seemed apparent that she was fighting just to keep up with Lapis, that's fine. Steven wasn't even within view the further they got, he usually got out paced quite quickly even with him giving it his all. Lazuli once again relaxed slowing down, they weren't even close to getting to the end, maybe only half way. Pearl caught sight of her slowing down and did as well.

With neither one trying to take a lead and just going at a leisurely pace, Lapis dove under water to completely submerge herself. A pitch black gaze left her mind to only pay attention to the sensations of the water as it got colder the lower it went. Heaven is what it felt like to Lapis and she slowly dragged herself up above the water for a good breath with Pearl having a slight lead now. _Worth._ Speeding up to catch up, not willing to let the prideful girl win.

After a bit of wading through each stroke they were approaching the lily pads to which the race would actually begin. Willing to waste energy to keep up a lead for the rest of the way for no surprises was the goal. Lazuli reached forward to touch the top sliding her hands underneath the water ducking her body along with it. Doing a full flip switching her direction under water she felt her body contort and spin along to properly adjust. Like a sit up in mid-air her stomach tensed with a suspended feeling before her head finally reached for the light once more.

A large gasp as she reaches the surface and a huge stroke sliding her arm along her body feeling the cluttered feeling of her shirt along her side. Her face couldn't lie if it wanted to, the smile that wore tightly taking in breaths quite quickly opening her eyes to the beautiful open area along them. Another push off to gather some distance to look back and see Pearls eyes widen. _Panic good._

This wasn't it though Lapis could feel it getting easier and easier to move as her joy was racing her competitive side to which could be more fulfilling. They only ended up colliding as if to erase the tired feeling in her muscles to speed up even more, the sight of too much difference was just in front of her and she was reaching for it.

She heard less precise waves behind her, panic could make you lose precision and when Pearl freaked out over things it ruined a lot of her. Along with being tired from swimming likely, Lapis knew the distance wasn't going to get easier on her, looking back a huge smile to see the floundering girl. She may be in shape and gorgeous but in these conditions she was nothing in comparison.

"Bye Pearl," Lapis cockily shouted back looking at the wide eyes lock with each other knowing that the words had struck a chord. Lapis was in her favorite part of the Lake, nothing was around her even some distance between Pearl and it was quite nice it was like her own little world to move how she wanted to. Gazing around and it was just bliss and when she looked ahead one more sight of beauty to behold that she wanted to race to.

A small blonde was waving or something, maybe she couldn't even see Lapis, and regardless she wanted to be there, by her. Arms and legs were starting to feel her lack of exercise and poor dieting as they were moving more sluggishly. Like the shackles were starting to drag her down once again she poured her breaths out greedily for more air. Not too much distance left she thought to herself.

As she drew to around a fourth of the way left, plenty of noises surrounded her such as Jasper and Bismuth wrestling each other around the water. Steven was slightly rejoining her for the swim back finally able to keep up slightly.

"It's nice of you and Pearl to be so evenly matched," Steven said smiling quite a bit, Lapis eyes went wide to look beside her. Thanks to all the other noise she hadn't noticed Pearl closing the distance and now racing past her on the right.

"No, no, no," Lapis shouted as she pressed off once more gaining speed and pouring all of her heart into her hands pointing through the water. Her feet clashed with the water leaving splashes and pain coursing through her body of exhaustion. Pearl was now equal with her and clearly heaving in large breaths nearly unable to continue. Like Lapis somehow they both did, precision of each of their hands drawing barely any water up through their hands to be jet propelled by their feet.

Barely any distance was dancing between them and the end on which feet would obscure with the floor. Lapis pouring each drop of energy from her mind into her feet and was gaining a bit of distance once again, it was a quick change. Pearl suddenly once again fell behind quite a bit as Lapis went forward clashing her feet along the bottom to run out of the dancing water.

Along pale legs, hers fell dropping her body beside another, not even fully out of the water but felt as if mostly sand engulfed her knees. Looking up green eyes looked down maybe concerned, maybe not thanks to the small nasally laugh that left her mouth.

"I win Pearl like always!" Lapis shouted after a harsh breath looking back at Pearl just now getting towards the end. Heaving her body up and down seeing the irritated face was enough before she dragged her head back to in front of her. "Hey Peridot," out of breath she said to the girl just beside her.

"Hello Lapis," Peridot barely got out before Pearl could yell back.

"Arg you barely won, well, Steven ruined it for me," Pearl said trying to excuse her defeat.

"Excuses, I went easy anyways," Lapis said turning her head to look back at Pearl. That seemed to get her twisted up as she went red in the face.

"At least I've increased speed since our last race, you've only slowed down," Pearl said holding her head high. It was as if she kept her head up that one day her large pointed nose would hit the clouds themselves, Lazuli thought to herself.

"Yeah, race me at the end of summer again and see if I really have slowed down, by then I'll lap you." Lapis said knowing that she was a bit out of practice and a bit malnourished, her shirt was now clinging to her body a bit revealing how skinny she actually was as she looked down to herself.

Her wrists had several lines across them of light colored skin showing scars of time and a brief memory of things that shouldn't be allowed to be memories. The clothes sticking so fiercely it showed how her stomach seemed only to be an inch deep as if she was pretending to be a 2d character. It was a short laugh that came from her before she looked up to Peridot trying to drain away her thoughts with conversation.

"Why aren't you in the water?" Lapis asked, letting her hands fall behind her just like the rest of her weight till it was rested on her hands. Which required sitting with her legs crossed underwater, normally would feel a bit weird but thanks to actually wearing shorts most of the feeling was just the cloth. Plenty of slippery and slimy rocks were quite close or actually touching the edge of her hand though.

"Well I feel more comfortable out here," Peridot said crossing her arms as if she was acting quite a bit like Pearl. They had their similarities such as their pride and Lapis adored Peridot because of her miniature stature it only made it funnier to her when she acted as such.

"You can swim right?" Lapis asked to which Peridot head stole some of the light colors from the sky to paint her pale skin along her face. Quickly after she pointed her face away as if she realized that Lapis had seen right through her. "I'll take that as a no."

"Well I kind of can, but that skill set hasn't been needed in my life, so it has not been trained the best." Lapis couldn't hold in a short chuckle at the sentence that just had been processed through her brain. She just wanted to grab Peridots legs and trip her over, if it weren't for the rocks racing along her legs she'd do it.

"Well let's give you some practice go put your glasses by Rose," Lapis happily exclaimed with her breath back to normal and her motives like always, get close.

"Fine, are you going to answer me now?" Peridot asked slowly walking away towards the small chair that held Rose and a bag alongside it. She set her glasses in the bag and started walking back to Lapis, Lazuli was beginning to stand up with a few sliding hands here and there.

"Tonight, when others are trying to go to bed I want to do something with you," Lapis confidently said aloud with no one luckily in between them. Peridot was walking closer and closer allowing the water to draw up on her a bit, visibly shuttering from the cold the closer she got. Lapis started taking small steps back so that it'd take a bit longer for Peridot to reach her.

"Fine but can you stop walking away," Peridot harshly said with her nasally voice, reaching out her hands as if that'd allow her to reach Lapis sooner.

"Nope," Lapis said actually giving in and stopping at the point where the water was roughly sitting alongside her stomach. When Peridot came near it was near the top of her chest, _Man she is short,_ Lapis thought. Looking around Jasper and Bismuth were just a bit further out rummaging through the water, it looked fun but Lapis only wanted to be near Peridot.

"Hey guys want to play a game," Steven shouted swimming towards the rest of the groups. Pearl was sort of close by him, they must have been talking.

"Yes," Jasper yelled back clearly wanting to intervene, while Jasper was quite mature, she did love to play along with games.

"How about we have a chicken fight?" Steven asked with Pearl beside him looking slightly startled at the idea.

"You realize how dangerous that can be right Steven?" Behind Pearls concern the voice of Bismuth Jasper excited for the idea.

"Don't worry Pearl I'll keep you safe," Steven said wrapping Pearl in a hug and lifting her up as well and spinning her around. Her eyes still didn't look as if they were completely devoted to the idea with bits of fear tracing around them.

"Well I call Jasper," Lapis called out to her bulky friend that had now closed the distance and was standing beside her. Bismuth had gotten alongside them and began looking over the remaining person with tiny arms.

"So you're going to carry me right?" Bismuth asked Peridot with a huge smile, to which the small girl responded with a small screech. "I'm only jokin, let me give you a Bismuth proposition on us winning," Bismuth said slowly dragging Peridot away. Bismuth had also pointed one of her fingers like a gun while snapping when she was by Peridot. Lazuli felt slightly bad for her, she just wanted to tip toe around the water and now she was going to be carried into war with deep water all around her.

"Alright so any game plan Lazuli," Jasper asked closing in, she was one of the few people that Lapis was okay with her calling her by her last name. A special treat reserved just for Steven and Jasper when she was in a good mood. Jasper had pressed her huge hands along the shoulders of Lapis nearly engulfing her sides. With a cautious look at the hands she continued on, each group had separated to plan or more so complain about the game when it came to Peridot and Pearl.

Lapis and Jasper has crafted a genius plan to win over the day as Steven signaled the start of the battle shouting "Go." Peridot was clearly scared to death as she wiggled all over atop Bismuth and Pearl was also focused on the water beneath her. Lapis on the other hand, just like Jasper only had one thing in mind, how to knock down the competition. First target was first, Pearl, she was needed to get out earlier rather than later, thinking she could actually get into the game.

If Pearl got motivated with Steven they might actually stand a bit of a chance and they couldn't have that. They closed in on Pearl inching closer and closer till they were only a few inches on which Lapis used her idea. Instead of the harsh pushing or shoving, Lapis just wrapped her arms around Pearl in a small hug that slowly got tighter.

"What is this," Pearl shrieked while Lapis and Jasper laughed manically with their plan beginning to work. With Jasper having a bit of height on Steven, Lapis began hugging Pearl enough that when Jasper raised her legs Pearl began to raise with her. Steven catching on to what was happening he then, hardened his grip on Pearls legs a bit late, she was now just barely on still, till she was harshly dropped with Jasper giving a swift shove to Steven.

"Bye," Lapis gleefully said as they began falling backward into the water beneath, Steven was resilient but still couldn't keep Pearl from jumping away after that. It may have also been an unfair advantage that the water came up to his head and to Jasper just up to her chest giving her a bit more stability.

"That's just not fair," Pearl complained walking away clearly upset. Lapis played to win, same as Jasper it was a good thing that they were on each other's sides with one team left to go. Turning back and a nasally screech was heard and quite unexpected.

"Chaaaaaaaarge," Peridot was yelling with her hand forward pointing at the other group still within the competition and Bismuth was causing wakes around her. Huge waves and a huge amount of force quickly crashed into Jasper, Lapis could feel them losing ground as if Jasper was slipping. Likely to be the scenario as Jaspers head was getting close to the water off the force of the body check.

"Actually putting up a fight?" Lapis scoffed at the idea of that, that tiny girl had no chance against an experienced team. To be fair whoever was on Jaspers side for these usually won, but they were actually beginning to tip so Lazuli had to think quickly. Once again she shifted her body forward to try and balance Jasper falling backwards and she also grabbed the small blonde.

"I see you've taken out Pearl, but you shall not win," Peridot said quite loudly, clearly actually attempting to win their small little game. As Lazuli's hands were wrapping around Peridot, the blonde started frantically trying to shove the girls' hands away. Luckily wearing a shirt allowed for an easy grasp and with that, the top of Bismuth's team began to falter.

"We're the better team," Bismuth yelled forcefully taking another step with Jasper falling back, as Peridot began shaking so did the legs of their team with Jasper shoving her back as well.

"Hold on Lazuli!" Jasper shouted with Lapis drawing her body back to wrap her arms along the shoulders of Jasper to get a better grip. As soon as her hands hit her shoulders Jasper let go of Lazuli's legs and shoved Bismuth with her own arms. The shock in the other teams' eyes was clear as they fell backward quite a bit, Bismuth even had her head begin to fall under water.

Those rainbow locks however decided not to drown and like the rest of her body began to escape the water with a huge smirk. "Not so fast," Bismuth shouted with Peridot clinging on to her as they lifted back out of the water. It was deep where their battle was commencing and Bismuth's side had only deeper water behind them, one more push and they'd have to forfeit Lapis thought.

"Charge!" Lapis shouted and Jasper listened now causing her own wake as they ran forward, with a big push on their last good moment above water they shoved them back. Bismuth was sticking her head up enough that just her nose and top of her face was sticking out of water, Peridot was panicking.

"Peridot our final tactic, cannon ball," Bismuth got out by bouncing slightly up enough that her mouth would leave the water. Jasper and Lapis were ready to end it however taking steps forward to push them into oblivion. Looking over the small blonde seemed to be climbing the sunken giant, with each foot taking a place along her shoulders. Jasper was about to make the final push when Peridot jumped off her shoulders tackling Lapis.

The small arms and shrieks hit Lapis at once, the soft arms clinging to her like the end of the world, with them in such deep water the pressure was too immense and Jasper began slipping. Together they fell through the air and Lapis could feel her arms wrap around her and feel the damp clothes clinging together. She shielded Peridot from the first crash into water on which Peridot just fell onto Lapis and they were staying in the waves for a moment as if hugging the life out of her. Peridot wasn't moving with the rustled water beneath the surface, she wasn't struggling just staying there calmly in Lazuli's embrace. With eyes slightly opening the sight ahead showed a beautiful girl.

The water separated each strand of hair to let it flow freely across while her shirt swayed underneath exposing a slight part of her stomach. Her eyes were closed tightly as they sat under water and it was only a mere moment Lazuli could gaze at the beautiful girl, before her hand reached out. Dragging the back of Lazuli's shirt forward they fell into each other. Maybe she couldn't swim, Lapis raced out her current thoughts as she dragged her in and began to push off for the surface.

Breaking through the surface water they both gasped for air as Lazuli slowly dragged them to the higher elevated point of the lake. Peridot was still closing her eyes and holding on a bit, until they reached quite a shallow point she finally opened her eyes.

"Wow, thanks," Peridot said in a low voice looking down at the waters they were just submerged in. The rest of the day continued in goofing around in the waters however Peridot had stayed a bit closer to shore not allowing it to go even above her collar bone or even close. Overall it was a good day for everyone.


	15. Starlight Eyes

Notes: Sorry if the chapter isn't as well edited as normal I'm feeling a bit under the weather, hope you enjoy the end of trip though.

"Alright everyone we're leaving early in the morning it's time to hit the hay," Greg said loudly to everyone around the campfire. A mixture of upset grumbles and footsteps ricocheted around the drowsy ears of each individual except for one. Lazuli's mindset was focused purely on the girl rubbing her eyes with nowhere to sleep tonight. As bodies filled the barn one arm grabbed another dragging it along the shadows.

"Lapis?" Peridot questioned as her arm was just continuing along the path with no resistance that Lazuli guided. Lapis gathered themselves behind the barn listening to stray voices to check if any of them had noticed the difference in people. Lifting her head up she waited a few moments before looking back down to the eyes in front of her.

"I told you I'd tell you right?" Lapis said looking over the girl in front of her in the dull light of the moon and the stars settling a light glow above their skin. It was enough to see the short blonde for all that she was in. "We have to do one thing first though," Lapis slyly said looking down at the cute girl in front of her wishing for a difference just in case.

"Alright well what is it?" Peridot questioned looking curiously and with a slight bit of irritation. Those eyes matching the stars above giving life to the night for Lazuli never ceased to draw her happiness forward into her actual mindset.

"Well we have to change into swim suits and we have to go down to the river. So I guess two things," Lapis happily said slowly sliding her body back around to the front of the barn.

"But ours are all wet," Peridot said sullenly pulling her body free from Lapis and beginning to lean her back to the wall.

"Stay here I'll go get them," Lapis said happily, knowing that she was willing to be compromised. Peridot was being quiet and for that she was thankful that she wasn't resisting it at all, her nerves were already a wreck for what she had planned. Like pins were pressed to the bottom of her feet, she had to be careful with each step and it was similar to her mouth, every sound, and every word she said could send Peridot away.

With the slow creak of the barn doors and most people still visibly up and rummaging around she slowly walked in. A few eyes pressed forward to her direction with a few waves from Steven and a quick nod from a nervous Pearl. Walking forward to her spot along her sleeping bag she looked down to the two bags of hers, one filled of her stuff and one of Peridots.

"Whatchya up to," Steven happily asked bounding alongside Lapis, she wasn't willing to reveal it however. The best lies are the ones that have ounces of truths left in them so that you can keep them closer within the solidifying concrete of truth.

"Going for a walk, might do a midnight swim though as well." Lapis said slowly fishing out her dark blue bikini. The one that she saw in the store with the small dress piece that came down as if to turn into waves with lighter color.

"Oh can I come!" Steven happily yelled, sending spikes of panic through Lapis. Looks were beginning to form her way and if Rose had told her she needed to stay inside and didn't want her swimming this late it'd be a lot harder to get out there.

"Shhhhh, not tonight Steven… you come along too then when Peridot comes back she might think it's not okay to take the sleeping bag," Lapis calmly said thinking it over quickly.

"What do you mean?" Stevens eyes were massive puppy dog eyes that were easy to lose a battle. It forced Lapis to drag her eyes away along with taking a quick glance around them, Rose and Greg were happily talking while Bismuth and Jasper were sort of wrestling.

"Well if multiple people are out then she'll know I'm one of them but if I'm the only one out and I'm leaving this to you to tell her to take my bed and that I'm sleeping in the car okay?" Lapis changed her voice as if lacing it with honey to a sweet tone that flowed smoothing and stuck to Stevens head so he would understand.

"OOhhh okay, your secrets safe with me," he happily said back taking a few steps away holding a finger to his mouth and winking. A long sigh of relief took up the space outside of her mouth and brought out the stress along with it. She shoved her Bikini in to the bag that was hers but did not store her clothes but Peridots instead. For anyone paying attention all they would see is Lapis leaving with her bag for clothes and such but she already had clothes on, she just needed the shorter bikini.

Pins and needles weren't over yet as she was walking it felt as if eyes were on her, maybe Rose did catch on, and she was going to do this though.

"Lapis where are you going," Lapis instinct was right as she turned to the larger female with a huge pink night gown flowing across her body. Just one more person to convince, likely the hardest person here but if she did she'd be in the clear.

"I'll be back in like an hour I just want to go for a walk," Lapis said slightly edging her voice as if that would have a positive effect. Rose just seemed a bit questioning, turning her head as if that tone she heard was nothing at all.

"You need to sleep, we are leaving early in the morning," Rose calmly said back still sitting there with Greg on edge a bit listening. He was obviously nervous between the conversation, Rose and Lapis had some vicious arguments when Lapis would take a tone, Lapis always lost.

"Don't worry, I'll be back soon it's just been so long since we've been to the lake I want to see it one more time with the night before we head back," Lapis had given up. Her voice hung a bit lower just like her head hoping that this approach would be a bit better, she just wanted to not irritate people by leaving now but she was going to do it regardless.

"Alright but don't wear yourself out honey," Rose said back still clearly questioning why she was doing this. It was true that Lapis often walked around at night and that was also the cause of most of their grief, danger versus the need to feel freedom. Sneaking out when you have nowhere else to go isn't the best idea, also taking for granted someone who cares.

"Thanks," Lapis happily said skipping a bit forward.

"Be safe out there," Greg yelled as well with a bit of concern in his still nervous voice.

The final stage was clear with the green bag in hand that stored all that they would need, using both hands to tear the door open she walked free. Lapis one Rose the rest. Peridot was just outside the door quietly waiting scrunched up into a small ball with her legs having her arms wrapped around them.

"Let's go change okay?" Lapis asked offering the small girl a hand to drag her up. Peridot nodded reaching out to the hand, Peridots hand was soft and small, engulfed fully by Lazuli's average sized hands. Unlike hers they actually held a bit of meat around the bones and didn't have any extreme points. Together they began walking behind the barn once again, in the dark they wouldn't be able to see each other but they still turned away.

"Wait this one!" Peridot said quite loudly with clear distaste in the outfit left in there for her. Lapis only wanted to turn around and wink at her but she knew it would be lost in the dark that covered the distance between them.

"Yep it's dry isn't it," Lapis slyly said back trying out her flirtatious tone a bit along with her swimsuit. Darkness was a nice feature of the night in the fact that it could hide her scars from the outside world. Peridot grumbled a little bit and Lapis was just happy that her noise wasn't enough to make it through to the inside. Only person near the end of the barn however would be Pearl, nothing to worry about there.

"Yeah but still," Peridot had given up and Lapis was on the verge as well of giving up and turning around to look at her body. Heaving in a deep breath to set her urges away for the moment, taking in one more to prepare for the question.

"Are you ready to go?" Lapis asked taking no time at all to fully slide into her bikini, it was really easy to her and took not time but judging off the trip to the store she had doubts for the other girl.

"Yeah, yeah," Peridot said, giving into a breath Lapis turned but only enough that her peripherals would hit the young lady. Courage to look beauty in the eye was not on her side and she had a mission tonight one that couldn't be intervened by doubt. Together they left for the waters walking side by side, one of them riddled with doubt and anxiety.

As they slowly walked along the path, Lazuli had pulled out her phone and left it on a flash light app to give them vision. If felt as if it slightly ruined the aura around them but they needed it for her final destination. _Breathe and just keep breathing that's all it takes to survive, alright one more breath._ Lapis kept thinking to herself about how this could go wrong and whether it was even worth an attempt or if she should just drag her bag and the girl back.

With the edge of the lake coming into view she closed a small amount of distance between them until their arms brushed against each other. Fear lingered in the back of her head of Peridot slipping along the steep step, to which she was wrong as they both calmly went down from it. Pointing the light over to the right side of their spot she noticed what she wanted from this area, a small black canoe.

"Over here," Lapis said walking towards the canoe that held a double sided paddle with the edge of the paddles engulfed in yellow. Slowly dragging it off the shore line with it just settling into the start of the water. "Get in," Lapis said now pointing to the front spot of it still not willing to look at her fully yet. Peridot was quiet still not talking as much as she expected, but she was going along with each thing, taking up the front of the vessel.

After it had fell mostly into the water with the breeze and calm waves giving it slight movement, Lazuli stepped back. Placing her phone on a large rock near the forest with the light pointed back to from where they came from, the depths.

"Why did you do that?" Peridot asked as Lapis abandoned her phone with their bag as well.

"We need to know how to get back, now close your eyes," Lapis said giving a bit of a push to the canoe. With a bit of effort she dragged her legs from the water and began heaving herself over the side.

"Why?" Peridot was now beginning to show a little bit of resistance, which was okay to Lapis she could be persuaded she thought.

"Just trust me, it's a surprise." With a small amount of words the tiny girl closed her eyes and curled up into a ball at the edge of the canoe. Each row took a bit of energy out of Lazuli, she wasn't used to manual labor and the water weighed quite a bit with each row. Edging the boat was a beautiful reflection however.

Closing in on the center of the lake it began to be hard to tell the difference between the air between them and the water. Like the sky had crashed down underneath them the waves carried stars along them and a gentle breeze. Dark blue mixed into the sky as well caressing the outskirts of the moon that happened to show up just beneath them as well. It was like a subtle glow had been left all around and on top of them.

Slowly eyes began lifting up gazing around the dark forests that formed a large circle of something that didn't look like the sky. It was only a small amount of area and with that line tracing it around it left to the final spot.

The girl she had loved was right there in front of her with the glow resting upon her whole body gently caressing her curves with light. She was sitting on the bench like spot on the back with her feet rested on the bottom. With the dark green skirt fading away into the darkness that held the bottom of her and then to her thighs that stolen light from the sky. Like droplets of the sky seized her eyes so had Peridot tonight and if anything could take her away from what she saw now it would be her eyes, she slowly brought herself forward till she was a mere foot from the girl.

"You can open your eyes now," Lapis said leaning forward keeping her eyes open. As her face came closer and closer her heart was stolen once again by the eyes that seemed to have droplets of space in them. Like the very stars themselves weren't limited to reflecting to the lake and could be contained in her personal mirror she looked from. Those were the last thoughts of Lazuli's as they met in another course of action.

Her heart felt as if it could explode as the last moments of thoughts were back firing and being blown away by her actions. Each time she tried to think of something the eyes would just be taking her away from her day dream and put her back into her own shoes. Shoes filled with anxiety and fear of what could come or worst what could never come. With her heart beating out of her chest she took one more movement forward.

Their lips met, like a soft embrace that neither of them took away from. Like static had fell on her entire body she was exhilarated and petrified, her own veins letting the static flow through her entire body. Peridots eyes seemed to spread for a moment in fear before softening, Lazuli lost eye contact past that point as she closed hers. Elevating her arm through the air until it met hair spiking along Peridots head, she caressed her fingers through it till it rested on the back of her head getting a firm grip. Her other hand had snaked its way across her smooth thighs and just above her skirt to rest on her warm skin.

The subtle breeze fell along them along with the waves that gave the same movement, to them however their worlds were petrified in bliss. As Lapis was getting lost in the moment she felt small fingers pressing along her back as Peridot was placing both hands along her back. After the initial embrace her fingers began to loosen up until they were just tracing her back. The stars sprawled across the night sky along with the moon that was their sun and they had become the moon as they glowed with life together.

With hands starting to depart from Peridots scalp and her drawing her face away at last neither one of them looked each other in the eye. "I kind of like you… that's why I've been treating you different," Lapis said starting to feel the cold as she brought her arms across each other.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh," Peridot loudly said, that drew Lapis attention back with a little bit of a laugh at the girl. "So Amethyst was right!" Peridot said loudly smacking her hand in a fist down on a hand laying horizontal. Anticipation was banging along Lapis heart as she craved for a response rather than the small talk that seemed to be happening.

"So how do you feel?" Lapis asked lowering her head a little bit in fear praying to herself that it'd turn out alright. Peridots face had shifted from the understanding to something else, maybe it was evaluating, or trying to think of a way out of it. _Maybe Peridot would never want to be to me because of how clingy I've been. Maybe I've messed up one of the only good parts of my life._ Lapis though to herself almost instantly before words could even meet the air from another person.

"Well of course I'd want to date you, I mean have you seen yourself," Peridot said quite loudly looking over Lapis. This arose something else from Lapis, embarrassment, her cheeks felt a bit warm and her head felt a bit light as she couldn't seem to find words to say back. "I mean sure you're a bit touchy feely but you even cook me food, you're great!" Peridot said loudly, as if she was asked why she wouldn't say no.

"So we can be together?" Lapis slyly asked starting to have her turned face look back to the beautiful girl sitting in front of her. Peridot was now readjusting to sitting on her rear at the edge of the boat type thing and that glow was enough to see a large toothy grin. Peridot was actually smiling hard enough to show teeth, which could break a woman's heart for how sweet it was, to Lapis.

"Sure thing Lazuli," Peridot happily said, which drew Lapis a bit back hearing her name changed from someone who hadn't done that yet.

"I'm so glad dot," Lapis said trying to get back at the hearing her last name, it seemed to work. Those words had seemed to draw the blondes face from happy to confused before it could let out more words.

"Dot? Seriously?" Peridot said in quite a dead tone, Lapis couldn't resist she began laughing, she was truly happy. "This place really is beautiful though," Peridot had begun looking around the boat, it was odd.

"Yeah it really is, I slept out here once, but no one else knows that, I returned before anyone woke up. Just along the forest enough to see only the stars when I looked up, my own little taste of space and distance I guess," Lapis said sounding quite genuine. Both their eyes were caught along the stars, like some void that drew them in with ease and neither one of them were willing to fight it.

They began talking about things for a bit of time, it was nice and felt sort of like nothing had changed to Lazuli. She was used to things going quite quickly and spontaneously like her past relationships but Peridot wasn't pushing her towards that or down in other words. Lapis wasn't pushing her down either, both them being on the front edge of the boat actually freaked her out a little bit internally so she was lying in wait.

She shifted herself a bit further back to grab the ore to start bringing them back to shore and hoped that Peridot would leave the edge of the boat. To that she didn't but they kept up their conversation about sweet little nothings even to the edge of the lake. With a bright light on the very edge of shore showing where to go like their own personal little light house.

"Ohh the light really does help out a bit," Peridot said as lapis began dragging the canoe onto actual land. Small little pebbles scraping up her feet bit by bit, she wasn't too pleased about it but had to get done.

"Yeah, so uhm, you know where you're sleeping tonight right?" Lapis asked watching Peridot leave the small vessel and Lapis also picked up the small green bag.

"I do not," Peridot said as a matter of fact, they were walking together with light in one hand and bag hanging over her shoulder as well. Warmth had not yet reached her hand but in a moment if it still hadn't she was going to go for it herself.

"With me obviously," Lapis said reaching out and luckily snagging the shorter girls arm and dragging her hand down until it met another of its kind. The feeling was warm and felt like it set them astray from the night even in their own little world. Peridot stuttered her movements a little bit when they first touched but quite quickly began walking normal again.

"Well I guess that'll work…" Peridot said slowly.

"You guess? Fine you can sleep on the floor," Lapis said quite jokingly while dragging Peridot slightly closer, she wanted them to be able to feel each other's sides.

"Hah, you wouldn't do that to me," Peridot confidently said almost instantly as if she knew Lapis well enough to say that from her side, she was right though.

"Says you," Lapis quietly said not willing to try and argue that point. Shadows engulfed the area around them and was destroying land behind them as new land was being seen from their light pointing ahead. They were close to the end of the journey, on the next turn the barn would be within sight and it'd go back to being quiet and trying to sleep.

"Can we change before we go to sleep though?" Peridot questioned without access to her bag on the other side of Lazuli.

"Just throw something over it," with a short chuckle she spoke those words wanting to see how Peridot would react.

"No the skirt part of this… Thing, is weird and I want to be comfortable," Peridot said looking down at her outfit holding the edges of the skirt.

"Wear a dress or something."

"I don't own any dresses, I mean have you ever seen me in one?" Peridot exaggeratedly splayed her hands out and away from Lapis.

"Well I'm going to make you wear one eventually," Lapis calmly said as they kept walking forward.

"Good luck you couldn't force me into one if you tried, nyah" Peridot said sticking her tongue out at Lapis, it was cute to her.

"I'm going to do it in your sleep then," Lapis laughed at her small actions she made to each of Lazuli's comments. Like how her hands were moving with each word when she would continue the conversation or the fact that she would try and look Lapis in the eye when she'd speak.

"I sleep in my clothes," Peridot said crossing her arms and holding her head up high.

"Not by the time I'm through with you," Lazuli said back teasingly to which nothing came in response. Looking over to her side, she swore she could see Peridots face bright as the fire they sat by earlier on in the night, it was precious. Staring at her fiddling her fingers together was great, but those hands were Lazuli's and she wanted to claim them right now.

Once again she swung her arm out and caught the small blonde and drew her closer until their hands could meet once again. Such a soft action leading each of them together, this night was going perfectly now.

With a large heave she dragged the door open, hoping that it wouldn't wake any of the people. Her light had been switched off just before opening it, everyone was out like corpses on the floor which made it easier. No one was moving, to any of the noise, it had been awhile that they were out and neither of them had any idea how long that was.

"Lazuli my clothes…" the blonde whispered to Lapis tugging on her arm as if it would change anything.

"Fine, fine take your clothes and go change behind the barn or something," Lapis said handing over the bag of clothes. Like Peridot she needed to change into some other clothes, she didn't really exactly have sleep attire however and sleeping in jeans was a bit of a pain.

As she drew close to her bed she pulled out a large blue T-shirt she occasionally wear to bed, slipping out of her other clothes to slip into that and some different underwear. Wrapping the top cover over her, she felt the softness engulf her legs and arms and warmth engulf everywhere below her head. After no time at all the door had creaked once again with Peridot in her usual green sweater and shorts, she didn't appear to have proper sleep attire as well.

Peridot drew near and Lapis raised the top cover so they could once again be joined under blankets like had done many times. Peridot was facing away and slightly curled up as she laid there, it was a bit odd to Lapis but she wasn't done with the shorter girl.

"Hey Peridot," she whispered very quietly just behind one of the girls ear, very small movements slowly changed her body from away to now towards her.

"What is it?" Peridot asked plainly sitting there, it was odd how even with no light you can just tell where someone's eyes are when they're that close.

"I want a good night kiss," Lapis said patiently waiting for a response. Peridot hadn't said anything and she knew that the girl was probably blushing and not knowing what to do. So Lazuli took the lead once again, slowly bringing her hand forward till it touched the girl's body ahead.

It was the hoody she dragged her body along the cloth until it caressed skin, which was the neck of the girl. Bringing it up a little bit more she met her chin, wrapping her fingers gently around it until her thumb came just below her lips. Like that she brought her body forward with complete knowledge of where her love laid, brief contact. Pressing into each other, like sparks running through her body, it felt great and she wanted more. It took all her strength to draw away afterwards and to fully turn her body away to hopefully not give into any temptation.

That night Lapis went to bed craving her more and more, but no more words fell on her ears after that action besides a brief mention of the other world

"Good night Lapis sweet dreams," those were the last words she heard before they had both fallen asleep.

When they had awoken everyone was practically ready to go and ushering them to get up as well. Both of them awoke a bit grumpy and took a few moments of sitting their rubbing their eyes before they could begin to move about.

"Hey Peridot could you hand me my bag?" Lapis asked as the girl was laying on the side that held Lazuli's stuff.

"Fine," Peridot handed it over and Lapis just put it on her lap, pulling out a pair of pants and bringing them beneath the sheets. "Wait a second… you weren't wearing pants!" Peridot loudly said clearly freaking out and blushing a little bit. Luckily most people were at the other side of the barn and not turning heads to listen to the conversation.

Lapis responded with a yawn before her words would be allowed to flow freely. "Pretty much," Lapis said shifting into her clothes, Peridot looked like she was dying from that knowledge. "Coulda grabbed my ass in my sleep," Lapis dead panned with a huge smirk which left the already dying girl in a fleeing state. Lapis felt as if her mind wasn't fully awake to make the decisions on not saying particular things. Peridot had rushed out of bed and began packing up her things quite a bit quicker, _I guess that's a good wake up call_.

They had all packed their things and went into the car, the same set up as the trip over with Peridot in the back and Lapis in the middle. No one knew and that was okay for the time being, also neither one of them was awake for most of the ride. Due to sleeping quite a bit later and waking up early they were quite tired and just slept the rest of the ride home.


	16. A New Life

**A/N** :Hey don't forget to check out my Tumblr if you want to talk the user on that is just Adojoa. Thanks for the support on there I'll be participating in Lapidot week 3 hopefully with art, also On valentines day will be doing a one shot will leave a link to that In next chapter, hope you all enjoy the read :).

Peridot POV

"Yeah I can't believe you were right!" Peridot yelled quite loudly to the girl just in front of her with long silver like hair. "I mean last week was great but since then I also don't know what to do."

"Well do what you want she is your girlfriend," Amethyst lazily said with a bag of chips in her hands slowly crunching down. While Peridot was up pacing back and forth and around the couch, Amethyst was just laying along the couch with one of her hands hanging off until it decided it was time for another chip.

"What I want?" Peridot questioned raising her voice quite loudly, her thoughts were all askew when it came to Lapis. She just didn't know how or why the girl would fall for her let alone be in a relationship with her.

"Yeah like if you want to kiss her kiss her and if you want to bang her then go for it," those words that just left Amethysts mouth they had exploded Peridots mind. With many shades of red her face began to show also as she backed up slightly and stopped pacing. "Dude you're what 23, 24 and you're blushing about sex why?" Amethyst questioned beginning to sit up.

"Ahem I am 23," Peridot said proudly holding her hand up to her chest still with a floating mind. "And that is because… well…" As words weren't flowing well for her trying to think around the situation Amethyst was making gestures for her to continue her words. "I haven't been in a relationship since… ever really," Peridot said sadly dropping her head quite a bit.

"Whaaaaat how is that even possible?" Amethyst jaw had dropped as she looked at the small blonde. Peridot could feel her face flushing as she turned away as if that would cease this awkward conversation for them, it didn't.

"I just haven't okay, you're a god damn clod you wouldn't understand!" Peridot huffed and puffed out her chest still not willing to turn around. She had tried to get in relationships before but some things just don't pan out the way you want them to.

"Alright can I at least know why?" Amethyst questioned propping her hands between her legs and slightly lifting her shoulders. Peridot had sort of hidden her past to others, only one person actually knew her life at all before she moved out.

"I sort of lied when I said to you that I've only known Steven for a little bit, I've known him maybe 10 years." Peridot said. Amethyst was now rocking herself on the couch cushion forward and back to the direction of Peridot.

"What! No way, how have I never heard about you?" Amethyst rushed out of her mouth curious.

"Well we kind of met on a chat room online and he became my first friend," Peridot said slowly turning around to see the girl bouncing in place.

"Your first friend at fourteen Peri?" Amethyst questioned with one hand rested along her chin, not bouncing anymore. Those words allowed a long sigh leave Peridots mouth however.

"I knew I should have not told you, it's Peridot…" She slowly said folding her arms into each other.

"C'mon lil P you know I'm teasing, what happened?" Amethyst said a bit more genuine. She began standing up and approaching the small blonde.

"Well, I was home schooled all the way through high school and took college online, didn't exactly leave a lot of space to make friends. Then after that I moved out and usually roomed with guys so there's that." Peridot said looking over at her friend approaching her. "So I met Steven online and have talked to him since then really and now I'm here." Peridot said with Amethyst just in front of her.

"Well huh, alright then, so tell me more about that whole thing Lapis did," Amethyst said beginning to walk towards her own kitchen. Amethyst and Pearl lived in a two bedroom apartment on the third floor, Peridot always found the staircase quite annoying to walk all the way up. "I'ma make some grub while you tell me."

"I already told you everything she took me out on a boat we kissed and now we're together," Peridot said back clearly annoyed.

"Well has she tried to do, y'know anything weird to you," Amethyst replied with plenty of odd hand gestures while she was yanking things out of the fridge.

"Clearly I don't know what you mean by weird since I've told you the same thing three times, she hasn't been clingy and she hasn't tried to force me into anything weird." Peridot was now lifting herself off the couch, Lapis would be home soon and she did want to see her.

"Alright well remember to call me if anything strange happens," pulling out an assortments of strange food Peridot had never seen before, Amethyst began throwing them along the counter. Amethyst had been known to make quite weird things of food, but according to everyone that ate them they were actually quite good, Peridot wasn't willing to risk it however.

"Yeah, yeah, well I'll be heading home now, Lapis will be back soon." Peridot said heading to the door with a brief wave before her shoulders tensed up with the feeling of someone grasping them. Turning her head and Amethyst was right there trying to halt her from leaving, this often happened, Amethyst seemed to always want to just do nothing together for a whole day. She was fun to hang out with but highly inefficient when it came to getting things done.

"Hold up lil P why not stay for a bit longer," Amethysts voice had grown slightly, seeming a little bit desperate to keep her there.

"It's my first day off since getting back, I would like to sleep a bit earlier today. Also need to talk to Lazuli about some things," Peridot said honestly dragging her body a bit more forward trying to leave behind the other girl. With a loosened grip on her shoulders she got a bit forward finally towards the door.

"Fine well have a good one, don't forget to stop by soon again," Amethyst rushed those words out of her mouth.

"I will, you wouldn't let me forget to check up on you anyways," Peridot said letting her hands lift up with a slight shrug as she left. "Bye." Before she could close the doors she heard a few last words of Amethyst.

"Be careful of Lapis," Amethyst had told her this a few times which made no sense to her. Lazuli was a perfectly kind person and just had a few issues here and there like everyone else. _Lapis is fine how she is, I'm tired of you saying that about her._

Peridot slowly walked down the staircase to start her trek home, Amethyst lived a little bit of a walk away but beach city was not very big to begin with. Grumbling to herself Peridot slowly unwound her headphones for a bit of music for her adventure home. Every time they seemed to be tangled as if they were drawn to be a bother to her, a little rock here and there helped.

 _I wonder what kind of mood Lapis will be in today,_ Peridots mind had felt that Lapis would switch between overly friendly and a bit distant with each day. One day she could want to share her life story the next she could just crash in her room after work. After they had started dating however each day seemed to just be joy with Lapis wanting to sit along the couch with Peridot regardless of her working or not.

 _Hm she's been at work quite a bit as well something to do with that Sadie girl._ The ground underneath was dry concrete, the last several days had been in the 90s which felt searing to the young blonde. One joy the girl had was the thoughts of getting home to a cool house with the ac rolling onward to produce a free environment from the heat.  
 _God damn this weather, at least Lazuli doesn't yell at me for wasting electricity on cooling. Maybe I should play some games today, it's been awhile since I've been online._ With the walk being quite quiet as in not much happening it also seemed to go by quite quickly.

Soon enough after around twenty minutes of walking she had arrived at her destination, perfect timing as well as Lapis was rushing out of the bakery. A smile had sprung across the blue haired girls face, _she redid her dye yesterday_. That was an odd experience trying to help Lapis out with dyeing her hair, something that she hoped she wouldn't have to be the one to help again.

"Welcome home where were you?" Lapis kindly asked, her voice seemed a bit chipper, Peridot appreciated that. Lapis wore a long white sheet in front of her clothes to hold back the flour that seemed apparent all across her. _Guess even an apron couldn't help that mess._

"Amethysts place," Peridot said wiping a few beads of sweat along her forehead. _It must be hell in the kitchen,_ Peridot thought as she noticed that Lapis was drenched in sweat but still pertained the scent of the bakery.

"Well I just closed down, unless you want anything from the bakery," Lapis asked keeping her smile up with a sly look to the side as she turned her face to the bakery. Peridot had a sweet spot for Lapis' cooking and for her baked goods and damn was it hard to resist some days. With a deep breath the blonde managed to hold in her urges for the sugary delight.

"No thanks, I'll be alright." Peridot said beginning to march towards the house with Lazuli along her side, brief contact along their hands left a jolt through the blondes' body. Looking away from the girl next to her Peridot allowed Lapis to hold her hand for the brief walk to the narrow stair case. _Three steps make me nervous the second one and the last two. One down. Two down. Done._

"Just remember anything you want from there I can prepare for you," Lapis happily said opening the door for them. _I can get my own door,_ Peridot thought to herself as Lazuli held it back and stood out of the way. As she walked her way to the couch she could hear the soft foot-steps of Lazuli, it was like a mouse walking behind her. _That girl really weighs like nothing huh_.

"How was your day at work?" Peridot asked curiously while sitting herself along the couch and the blue haired girl quickly approaching.

"Eh it was alright, been a little bit busier than usual which is good I guess," Lapis said back as they sat down along the couch. That had been most of their week, Peridot at work on her laptop and Lazuli just sitting beside her looking over her shoulder now and again. Their day had went kind of expected, sitting along the couch and watching camp pining hearts.

Peridot had felt a certain way since they had gotten together that Lazuli was holding herself back. She also happened to act ignorant of her advances as if she didn't notice them, it was hard for her to be so close to someone. Like care was something you could throw to anyone but intimacy was a bit more terrifying than conversations with strangers.

As another episode was coming to an end Lapis had placed her hand along Peridots thigh, which caused her to tense up slightly. Her face felt as if it was getting a little bit warmer as it thought of the actions that could follow up to the brief contact. Shoving herself off the couch she distanced herself from Lazuli as she put the next DVD in for a few more episodes.

Seven times, that was all since they had gotten back from the trip, all the times that their faces had met close. Distance was good, distance was safe, now that she knew how the girl really felt for her, anything could lead a bit further than before. A kiss could lead to making out and a caress on the thigh… Peridots brain had to force itself to stop and calm down as her heated face returned to the couch to watch more.

"Want me to cook up some dinner?" Lapis asked dragging Peridot out of her sinful thoughts that seemed to be engulfing her. Taking a moment to think about it, her stomach was quite a bit empty, _maybe I should have gotten something from the bakery_.

"Okay," Peridot lightly said over to the Lapis that was quickly removing herself from the blanket still locking their eyes together. Blue eyes that stole beauty from everything around them just to captivate in such a small area. Those same blue eyes lurched forward till they rested a soft gaze just above hers. A light peck on Peridots forehead was the entire purpose, a soft sin leaving Peridot frozen.

"What do you want? Chicken stir fry sound good?" Lapis asked dragging herself away from the small body rested on the couch. Peeking over the edge to see the blue haired girl peering through the fridge and other parts of the kitchen.

"Sounds good to me," Peridot said slowly dragging herself away from watching the girl cook. Part of her wanted to go out there and hug her, most of her wanted to hide away though scared that she wouldn't like her for very long. Scrambling through her laptop she waited for dinner to be done. _I can't believe I'm dating her, I can't believe I'm dating her._

Usually they had chicken ready to be cooked in the fridge so the stir fry wouldn't take very much time at all and after that and an episode of Camp pining hearts it'd be bed time. Lazuli usually went to bed first and a few hours later Peridot would. The next episode was already set up so all that Peridot could do was scramble through notes on work and other forums she followed.

Often getting lost staring at the same page for a few minutes in hope of an update that never did come. Getting lost was something that was great about the internet, it allowed her to not think as much and just peruse anything that may come her way. Lapis seemed to not like it very much but then again Lazuli's laptop had a hard time with solitaire some days it seemed. _Thank god I have my own actual computer, I should get a desktop soon._

 _Man it smells great out there, I wonder what vegetables she'll be using._ Casting her eyes back out into the kitchen she saw cabbage along the side which was alright but also spinach, which wasn't quite as alright. Stir frying may allow for most things to be thrown in and a fairly healthy and easy dinner but some vegetables shouldn't see the light of day.

"It's almost done, want anything special to drink?" Lapis asked with a soft buzz of the fridge clearly being opened up once again.

"Water is fine," Peridot said back a little bit loudly trying to not be drown out by the instruments of cooking around her. Once again soft steps had been entering her ears as Lapis had brought two small cups out to place along the table before she left to get their plates. Soy sauce had also been brought along, an easy thing that added plenty of delicious flavor.

"Are you ready?" Lapis asked as she settled down with the red blanket draped over each of them like usual.

"Yeah way before you," Peridot said back starting the episode up.

"I cooked for you," Lapis said with no emotions in her voice, sometimes it was scary when she'd do that but it usually was jokingly at least Peridot thought it was.

Chicken was quite tender and chopped into small sections allowing to be picked up with the other vegetables and rice. _I don't know where she learned to season but damn that's the best part. Is she looking at me or is that just my peripherals being weird, I'm not going to check._ Finishing off a few more bites she continue watching along the show. _God damnit, I'm curious,_ slowly casting her eyes to the side she realized she was wrong and Lazuli was just watching the show.

However the turn of her face caused Lazuli's to turn as well and once again their eyes were left in a stale mate.

"Let's go on a date tomorrow," Lapis abruptly let out leaving Peridot a bit confused.

"Sure I shouldn't have work… where did this come from?" Peridot questioned as her eyes were left to be stuck in the vortex drawing her gaze in. This girl in front of her was perfect, she was extremely sweet to her, funny and even a friend past it all.

"Just wanted to, how about we go down the beach walk to the theatre and then catch some dinner?" Lapis asked finalizing the plans. When it came to things she did usually take charge, for that Peridot was thankful she didn't know what to do in a relationship or how. Her best references were stories and frankly there were no rose petals falling outside her window. This wasn't some fantasy story that had a prince or anything along those lines but more so her life of how she managed to somehow attract that beautiful girl.

"Sounds good, we can see that weird movie Steven mentioned, the one about an um," Peridot was having trouble piecing together the previous conversation. She stole her gaze back to drop it down to the floor to focus on thinking, something impossible to do when caught in that gaze.

"A dog that's like a cop? I guess that'd be alright," Lapis didn't seem that enthralled to watch it, admittedly it seemed a bit silly. Their conversation continued, on the topic of their date to which Peridot was silently bursting at the seams for. Wonderful food and wonderful plans, tonight was ending up to be a fairly great night, now that she had completed another assignment yesterday she had a bit of spare time.

As episodes ended and yawns scratched the atmosphere around them, it was clear that each of them were getting to the point of sleep. Lapis had already began standing up and doing some stretches, she usually did that after watching shows for a while. Handing off a bowl with a few greens skewed along the bottom to be washed later, Peridot stood up as well.

"You going to bed now?" The blonde asked getting herself up a bit to do a few stretches. Dragging her arms into the sky and pushing her stomach out it felt quite relieving.

"Yeah, want to… come along?" Those words struck Peridots thoughts down quite quickly, she hadn't slept in the same bed with Lapis since the trip. Since she had been working and staying up quite late she would sleep in her own room when she deemed it as time to actually sleep.

"Uh," Peridot barely had time to say before Lapis could speak once more.

"If not I understand," the tone of her voice was finished with a drop of sadness that brought Peridots decision to the front of her mind.

"Fine I guess I can sleep now," Peridot said dragging herself towards the staircase of an area that she hadn't entered before. Lapis was leading the way and her steps up the stair case were light as if a phantom was floating up and not a person running up. Meanwhile Peridots heart was also running, so much that she swore Lapis would be able to hear it once neither of them were moving. _What if I mess up?_

"Great I'm glad to hear you're willing to sleep with me tonight," Lapis said looking back winking with a small lamp as their only source of light. "Do you need some pajamas?" Lapis asked looking back at the girl just now entering the room with curious eyes glancing over everything.

First thing that was prominent was the many art supplies scattered in corners and a canvas that laid just past the bed. _She paints? She has a guitar? I think I remember Steven telling me about them playing together, noted._ "Sleep with you?" Peridot questioned knowing that those words left a sort of different meaning to others. "No I'm fine on clothes I'll just sleep in these," she said looking down at her green hoody that was surprisingly comfy and her beige shorts.

"Really? Isn't that sort of uncomfortable?" Lapis asked as she paced around to the side of the bed, likely her side. _Maybe we're going to have to decide who sleeps on which side, like a bunk bed situation right?_

"It's really not th…" Peridot hushed herself as she witnessed the girl she had fallen for losing the skinny jean type pants she was wearing. Dark blue panties that hugged her thin body, her shirt seemed quite loose and it was only a glimpse as Peridot stood there wordless. _She's so beautiful._

"You alright there," Lapis said placing her hands along her side while Peridot slowly began to force her head to look over to the corner of the room. _That is a nice looking guitar… yes._

 _"_ Yeah I'm fine, just sort of lost my words, what were we talking about?" Peridot asked as the blankets along the bed were being ruffled around. Finally stealing one more glance up to Lapis actually situating herself in the bed.

"Uncomfortable pants," Lapis said with a smirk tracing her face. "Now get in here," she said lifting up the sheets that were on Peridots side, temptation lay there. Peridot slowly walked forward cupping her elbows with her hands awkwardly before she could get in looking it over one last time. "Also you're on the side of the lamp so you will have to turn that off."

"Yeah, yeah give me a moment alright." Peridot had slid under the covers and while her hoody was comfortable the back of it, the hood part made it slightly uncomfortable to lay on so she swiftly threw it off. With one last glimpse at the girl beside her, _those beautiful blue eyes,_ she then turned off the lamp.

"Pretty dark huh," Lapis said sort of questioning. All Peridot could feel at the moment was the soft blankets and the bed that seemed to sink in with her weight easily. The bed was bliss to her, even though her one downstairs was quite good anyways.

"Yeah dark as a room with no lights on," the blonde dead panned back with a soft chuckle following it.

"It's nice though, I like it like this sometimes."

"Only sometimes?" Peridot questioned as she began to feel hands going along her side. Soft and starting to surround her whole body as if to capture her and pull her closer in the sea of blankets.

"Yeah, not all the time. With you though I'm guessing it'll always be nice though in here." Lapis sweetly said, which was causing Peridot to freak out a little bit, embarrassment was easy to come by and Lapis abused the hell out of it.

 _God damn this clod, that was… kind of her to say._ Lapis chin was resting at the top of Peridots head and one of her arms came underneath the blondes head and the other just around her stomach. Lapis had always been touchy in Peridots eyes after that one night cuddling but now she had an excuse for it and Peridot felt it. Her shirt had been lifted slightly up as fingers tumbled around tracing her stomach and slowly moving up.

 _AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,_ Peridot couldn't help but scream to herself, her mind was a nuclear explosion of unclear thoughts on how to handle the situation. "Lapis," Peridot said not fully aware of what to even say.

"Yeah?" Her voice seemed so calm and in control, like it was engulfing the room, or at least that's how Peridot felt about it. The amount of control was rather appealing to Peridot while she tried to resist it internally. With warmth circling her upper abdomen was all she was focused on before she could even realize the other hand along her face. With a brief push she had moved her head away from the hand right into the spot it needed to be.

"Uh, I uh, don't particularly know how far, I'm willing to go," Peridot stuttered out with her eyes downcast away from the face she knew was right there. Once again the hand persuaded her up briefly with them grasping her chin and just beneath her lips.

Breathless Peridot felt the contact between, soft lips that were placed so perfectly along hers and showing no signs of moving. _Eight._ Eventually the hands caressing her bottom lip and chin began moving to past her ear. Lost in nothingness she felt like putty to the girl dragging her body around, she was enjoying every moment. Like static had skipped past her lips and just went straight to her mind, jolting every sense she had awake and wanting more of the situation.

Slowly bringing her body over to actually face her girlfriend she felt her shirt lifting up bit by bit. Her hands craved to move on their own but with no knowledge on the situation they just rested on the girl in front of hers' back. More jolts sped through her body as she felt the hand on her head began to grasp to drag her closer and her mouth began to part. With less control they continued on, Peridot tried to separate to get a grasp of breath just to have it taken from her once again.

Using the grip on the back of her head she was pulled forward once again, _9._ Lightening a bit on the grip, she felt them separating with a few gasps for breath. Lost in the moment she had noticed, her hand skimming along the lower back of Lapis.

"That's fine with me," Lapis said clearly teasing now roughly running her hands repetitively through Peridots hair. _Damn her,_ Peridot was having trouble thinking in any means and was also quite keen on continuing to some degree. "Please do start sleeping in the same bed as me though," Lapis said with a different tone, a bit more genuine and less flirtatious.

"Okay," Peridot stammered out, with Lapis starting to actually shift away from her. Still trying to collect her thoughts and detain her urges she balled her hands into fists and squeezed with deep breaths. "Are we going to sleep now?" Peridot asked with slight agitation in her voice.

"Yeah but like always I have one thing I want first," Lapis calmly said with ruffling of the sheets once again signifying movement.

"What," before she could finish her sentence Lapis had pounced pushing her lips against each other's. Sitting up just above the blonde and forcing both hands along the side of her face, they kissed. Still surprised and completely unused to it Peridot felt her head explode with joy as the soft skin has been pressed to her.

Slightly giving in the blonde began lifting her head to push back against the girl holding her down. With a quick innocent drag away they had separated from each other and Lapis slyly caressed Peridots cheek before leaving off to her side.

"I wanted my good night kiss."

 _Ten._


	17. Day Lights Day Dream

A/N Yoooo so if you haven't already read the one shot I made for Valentine's day and want to it is called Indecisive Motives and jeeez it got some positive Feed back thank you guys. Hope you enjoy this chapter have a great one ^,^

Soft breaths and bits of movement were distracting her from the world of the sleeping as she slowly opened her eyes. Beside her was a beautiful girl with dark blue hair curled into the blankets and herself. Beginning to yawn she just kept watching over the girl beside her, _how is it possible that she likes me, like how? Should I wake her up?_

Laying back down and drawing a little bit closer she pressed on half hoping the girl would wake up and the other half thinking it'd be alright if she didn't. Slowly dragging her arm underneath the neck of the girl in front of her she began closing the distance between her chest and the other girls back. It was a little bit difficult to try and snuggle her thanks to her being wrapped up in her own little ball but she got most of her.

"Morning," Lapis slyly said as if she hadn't have been asleep at all, hell she might not have for all Peridot knew she just loved messing with her. A little bit shocked Peridot laid unmoving as if she was paralyzed and didn't want the other girl to know she was trying to snuggle her in her sleep.

"Hi…" Peridot said back with absolutely no emotions in her voice, instead of turning around however Lapis just pressed into Peridots chest with her back. Peridot enjoyed the feeling of them being close together but it still left her a bit nervous, _this is my girlfriend, we are allowed to do these things. This isn't wrong, god I'm such a clod, why can't I just think of this as normal_.

"How did you sleep," Lapis softly said, her voice seemed to be soaked in honey with how sweet it was and sort of infectious. It didn't help Peridot who was still unaware what to do or when to do but she did love hearing her voice.

"Alright, this bed is actually very comfortable," she stated back to the girl still feeling the bed give way to her body.

"Yeah this bed tempts me to stay up her all day sometimes," Lapis said jokingly and then yawned for a short moment.

"Maybe I should replace my spot on the couch with this and just sit here all day?" Peridot joked back which made Lazuli slowly start to turn until they were actually facing each other. _Those damn eyes,_ Peridot couldn't help but admire her beauty, it was even worse now that they were dating. Before they were dating she would see her and think she was beautiful but now every moment she only got more beautiful.

"No because then when I come home from work each day I'll fall asleep," Lapis complained wrapping her arms around Peridot into a hug. _Warm,_ Lapis body pressed up to Peridots only drove her into a slightly frantic state, she enjoyed it but it just made her nervous. Drawing in a deep breath she began shoving Lapis away, being nervous wasn't exactly the best feeling. "Come on let me snuggle you, you were willing to when I was asleep but now you won't when I'm conscious."

"I did that in my sleep!" Peridot nearly yelled back realizing that she had been caught and not knowing what to do. Lapis advances only get harder to push back and would actually take real effort to make her let go, giving in Lapis was wrapping her arms around Peridot. Warmth going all around Peridots body and pulling her closer, it felt nice, it felt cared for.

"Yeah sure you did, that's why you stopped snoring when you did it," Lapis said back sarcastically. With Lapis shifting her head from atop Peridots chest to now look at Peridots eyes, she quickly looked away from the girl on her chest. Eyes made her nervous but she could get lost in Lazuli's which made her even more nervous.

"What I don't snore!" Peridot nearly yelled back actually unaware whether she did or didn't but she wasn't willing to give Lapis room to speak about it.

"It's okay it's cute and not that loud," Lapis said with a sweet smile running her hand through Peridots head. There was that feeling again, nervous as Lapis hands softly brushed past her head as if to say that she was there for her.

"Well I don't," Peridot slightly whispered back to herself, unaware how to actually respond, this beautiful girl was just loving her and she wasn't doing anything back. _Maybe I should try and do something for her._ Peridot drew all the courage she could with a new breath and brought her hand up to Lapis head and brushed past her hair. Despite all the dye and such it was incredibly soft and drew a huge smile on the other girls face.

"Huh…" Lapis let out very lowly, Peridot didn't stop either she did a few more sweeps of the blue hair before letting her hand rest on her shoulder.

"What?" Peridot asked back feigning irritation while just wanting to show a little bit of affection.

"Nothing," Lapis joyfully said and just closed her eyes and together they went back to just snuggling on the bed, Lapis laying across her chest. The slight pressure on her chest felt nice, someone being there, warmth. Restful enough to almost actually fall back asleep, racing thoughts of their current moment only left joy. "So when do you want to leave for our date?"

"Anytime I guess, maybe look up the movies and determine it by that." Peridot had responded without knowing the full gravity of the word date till that sentence was complete, nervous as she was, she was also excited.

"Alright we'll still have to get ready and such, like putting on pants," Lapis said her voice sounded quite teasing and her hand started tracing over her stomach. _She's not wearing pants…_

"Yeah… do that…" Peridot said in a dead tone completely unaware how to respond to it and began getting up herself. Hands slowly unraveling from her as she pushed off the bed to a complete stand.

"I got to take a shower and do a quick call if you want to decide the movie instead of Stevens's idea or… You could come shower with me instead," with those words Lapis winked at Peridot who was just off the bed with the wooden planks beneath her feet. _Just walk away, don't give her the satisfaction of a response_. "Is that a no?"

"Stop teasing me Lazuli, I told you I don't know how far I'm willing to go," Peridot yelled back blushing fervently. Just thinking of them together, _deep breaths get it together._ Peridot knew that she wanted to do it but wasn't willing yet.

"Just asking, I could wash your hair, wasn't a joke." Those were the last words before Peridot could start her descend down the stair and start prepping for the movie. Grabbing her phone beside the couch and looking over a few options. Often she would leave it charging overnight but last night after getting dragged to bed with Lapis she didn't remember to.

Her decision came to maybe actually listening to Steven's advice, while a robot dog didn't sound that great neither did anything else in the movies. Slowly settling herself down on the couch to wait she began to let her mind wander. After little over thirty minutes of thinking of all the changes in her life Lapis had already shown signs of running around the house. With a closing door and steps running upstairs and other assortments Peridot waited.

A soft cushion, a roof over head and plenty of food and water, this was the life. Only once did Peridot really have to worry about all those issues that a lot of people have. Being from an incredibly wealthy family didn't exactly leave you begging for food. Moving out, that cut the funds and the hatred that her family had sown around.

After laying there for a bit Lapis was now in front of her and looking ready to go while Peridot hadn't even put on socks yet.

"So when's the movie starting?" Lapis asked with a smile and her arms crossed. Peridot briefly looked up from her phone to respond.

"There's one in a half hour we could make it to a little early, it's the dogcopter one though." Peridot reluctantly said back, knowing that they both were not too fond of the idea of seeing that one, small town, and small theatre. Not many choices were available and the other couple movies were definitely no goes.

"Alright, go get your shoes on," Lapis said back sounding slightly rushed, maybe she doesn't like schedules, Peridot thought to herself. Dragging herself up and to her room quickly grabbing her shoes, socks, and glasses then they were out the door.

The movie was alright and by the end of it Peridot had gotten sort of strangely attached to the dog and was completely unaware of what Lapis thought. Together walking out of the theater sort of quiet, hand in hand. Nerves were shocking through her body as she tried to get used to it, tried to not get flustered but damn was it difficult.

"Did you enjoy the movie?" Lapis ask curiously, her head had a slight turn to it to look at the girl beside her. Gazing up to the blue eyes was a bad idea, they were captivating, to make it even worse Lapis stopped. Together they stood just outside staring at each other for a long moment before Lapis broke it bringing her hand over to Peridots head. "Well?" she asked patting her on the head breaking her free from her cage.

"Yeah… yeah the movie was pretty good, what did you think?" Flustered Peridot looked away to the wooden board walk flooring. It was quite a long path, several miles of wooden planks perched above and on the start of the beach area.

"I liked it, it was alright, entertaining at least." Lapis said starting to take the lead and dragging her forward.

"The part with him saving the bus of children though was quite wonderful," she said carelessly as she followed. "So where are we going?" Peridot asked unknowing to their next destination, Lapis had mentioned one or two but never really fully told her about their plan after the movie.

"Just to a place I know, I can pay by the way, this date was my idea so let me cover it." Each step drew them further away from the plank flooring and to the actual concrete floor past the board walk and nearing the end of the area. At the way end there was a semi large building that held several windows perched around it with few people inside.

Coming inside someone actually opened the doors for them and straight away led them to a booth. Red carpet floors with red tinted lights across it and a bar on the other side, the restaurant wasn't overly organized but seemed quite nice. The waiter wasn't in a suit or anything just black slacks with a black shirt slowly handing out padded menus

The menus had red lining, guess this place really has a thing for red, but it also had a black cover and back. The seats were quite suitable as their booth sunk a little bit with them sitting down, Lapis sat across from her. Finally taking in everything that Lapis was wearing, this wasn't a regular day. _God dammit I messed up, she looks really good today and I just in these stupid casual clothes._

Lapis wore her regular black jeans and a light blue t-shirt with a light jacket type thing covering her arms, that part wasn't that irregular maybe a little more dressed up than usual. Her eyes clearly had that black liner stuff on them though. _I think that's mascara?_ Her hair wasn't regularly a mess but it had clearly been combed through a few times and rung free of any slight imperfection even though strands sticking up was immensely cute to Peridot.

"You alright there?" second time Lapis has shown worry for her and she knew it'd sound stupid just to say how she was lost in her beauty. Lapis rarely didn't cover her arms with a type of jacket and Peridot had noticed the reason but no matter what, she was beautiful in her eyes.

"Yeah, this place is very nice," Peridot said looking around instead of at her menu and actually paying attention to what to order. With that she payed, in no time at all a very friendly waiter had already arrived asking for drinks.

"I'll have a strawberry lemonade," Lapis confidently said drawing her gaze over to the frantic Peridot. Quickly paging through the booklet of food she had finally given up on being timely.

"Can I just have a water please?" She said closing the booklet as the waiter left to go get them their drinks. Opening it back up and searching for her food she was a bit disappointed in her reaction to trying to order, eating out wasn't exactly that common at least in the restaurant for her.

"Freak out a little?" Lapis asked with a short chuckle, she seemed to be having a good time.

"Maybe a little, are you having a good day?" she asked tracing her fingers around each other, a little bit nervous whether their pretty silent day was alright.

"Yeah, little worried you're not having too much fun though, you've been pretty quiet," Lapis said resting her chin along her hand. _Did she just read my mind?_ Peridot was a little bit weirded out by the timing on her thoughts and such and decided to go along with it.

"I swear you're reading my mind, I was just thinking how you haven't talked too much and was a little bit worried that you weren't having fun." Drawing her eyes up she could see the girl with a gentle smile just in front of her, it felt like a blessing. Happy with someone even with just existing by them and them not asking for something from her, they just liked her.

"Yeah, I'm enjoying this, it is a little bit of a basic date but I'm just glad I could take you on one." Lapis seemed to have a small release of breath as her head shifted to look out the window, she looked stoic to Peridot.

"Arggg… I need to look at them menu!" Peridot practically shouted and with that thrusted her hands to the menu and drawing Lapis face back to look at her. With three pages of food it seemed impossible to actually figure out what she wanted and to make it even worse she could see the waiter approaching from the side.

"Here you two are," he said placing their drinks in front of them Lapis had a straw while the water did not.

"May I have a second straw sir?" Lapis asked kindly.

"Sure thing," He said back quickly pulling out a straw and laying it in front of her drink. "And are you two ready to order?" Peridot hadn't really gotten a good look at him, she was stuck trying to find something to order.

"Can we have like two more minutes?" Lapis asked politely, Peridot looked up after hearing those words and it just looked like she understood. With the high speed page turning on the blondes side still without a decision.

"Sure, I'll be back soon," and with that the waiter took his leave and Lapis began opening up her second straw. Looking back down at the menu trying to refocus on the food, _maybe a burger. Noodles are alright but I don't really want them, chicken tenders…_ Before she could finish her thought something light had pelted her on her cheek to look up and see Lapis with straw in her mouth. Along Peridots side of the table was the remains of the straw wrapper Lapis had likely launched at her.

"Lazuli why did you do that?" Peridot frantically asked slightly irritated with trying to find food. That smile though just melted away her irritation and she took a deep breath.

"Cause I could, so what are you getting?" Lapis asked back, her menu had been closed for a while. She seemed so prepared for this, was it this easy for everyone else to order things or were most people like herself frantically looking it over.

"Chicken tenders, they come with fries," she said back quite dull. Slowly closing the book herself with a sigh towards going for something simple. Laying it gently down on the table with a slight temptation to shove it over to Lapis' side.

"Those are pretty good, try a sip of this," Lapis said pushing the strawberry lemonade towards her. It had a bright pink bottom that slowly faded to a light yellow, white like top. It actually looked pretty good and fruity drinks were nice, it was a little bit of a shock to see Lapis drink that though, she figured her for more of a coffee person.

"Fine," Peridot said now noticing the two straws dipped into the drink as if she knew this situation would happen. "Different straws so we don't share cooties huh?" Peridot asked taking the straw closer to her and beginning to drink. It was sweet and still had the kick of lemonade in it that ran down the back of her throat. Refreshing to say the least and the layer of strawberries along the top showed what kind of drink it was and the flavor it only helped with strong hints of strawberry.

"Nah I drank from both straws," Lapis said back with a grin riding along her face. She often had that grin when she was messing with the blonde and it only stayed when Peridot let go of the straw in a confused face. "What…? We've made out, although you're on the straw I've been using regardless." Lifting her head off she noticed the straw had several notches of bite marks.

"I see…" and with that the waiter had reentered the scene ready to take their orders, Peridot ordered her chicken tenders. Lapis ordered a sea food pasta that had shrimp along the top. Peridot hadn't even seen her look much at the menu. "How often do you come here?"

"A lot less since bills have been bad, but it use to be my treat for myself at the end of each work week." With that Peridot was slightly embarrassed this was Lapis own little slice of heaven, it was her place to get away or at least seemed like she liked it a bit.

"Do you always get the same thing?" The blonde asked dragging her own hand up to cup the end of her chin.

"No it's just shrimp sounded pretty good, do you always get chicken tenders at nice places," Lapis jokingly asked. She also had pushed the lemonade more so over to Peridots side with it easily sliding across the table without even risking it falling over.

"No I usually get the burger," Peridot jokingly acted quite proud of her response shaking her head and holding it up high. With that she debated taking another sip, the lemonade was in a large glass, but it wasn't hers and after she made a display of freaking out…

"Feel free to have the rest… that is… if I can have your water," she said quite dramatically as if the world was at stake. With pauses that only drew more tension on to her words and it made Peridot want to begin to laugh but she held it in. To Peridot it felt like Lapis was treating her like a friend and it felt great to her, one thing she wanted the whole time.

"Fine, but your drink is so much better why would you trade it?" Peridot asked to which Lapis hand jumped across the table and snatched up her water.

"I'll tell you later if you remind me." Lapis had quickly begun drinking the water, a few sips quite quickly bringing the small glass of water down a bit. The lemonade was at least two times the size of the water, definitely not a fair trade.

"You know me, I will," Peridot said as they began to wait for their food. Looking around and trying to judge the timing for how long it would take, showed only few people actually there and all of them had their food already. The area held a calm and cool atmosphere it was a wonder on how she had never seen this place, maybe Steven feared that if he came here with her Lapis would show up.

Within due time the food had shown up, the waiter quickly placed it right in front of each of them remembering which one ordered which and then leaving.

"Do you know this waiter?" she asked quite curious, if she had been here a lot then maybe she did and maybe they knew her. With people in a place that seems pretty nice they weren't acting the most civilized to them.

"Eh kind of, the manager doesn't like that I offered a couple of them jobs at the bakery a while ago," Lapis laughed as she said that as if it was a joke but Peridot knew it likely wasn't.

"Really, you did that," sort of feeling defeated she could feel her shoulders drop after asking that.

"Yeah it was before I got Sadie I really needed someone, I'm lucky I was going mad with working 7 days a week and all the bills and all the expenses, it was getting bad."

"Sounds rough, I'm going to start to dig in," Peridot said giving her chicken strips the first bite and they tore. First tender just tore with her mouth quite easily and was pretty juicy, _seriously how have I not heard of this place._ Lapis was idly sitting there stirring her pasta and staring at Peridot, to which she found it a little bit disturbing.

"How is it?" Lapis asked with still not taking the first bite of her food.

"Really good, I actually haven't eaten out much in my time. I usually just get it to go and some clod messes it up. This is nice though," Peridot finished off feeling a bit genuine and with that Lapis just smiled and began eating her noodles as well.

"Glad you like it…"

With that they stopped talking for the most part and were just eating their food, Peridot had nearly finished her drink as well with it.

With one last final slurp a question had found itself to the front of her head, "so why did you trade drinks?"

"Because you enjoyed it, so I wanted you to have it," with a sickly sweet smile Lapis said that and it felt wrong. Peridots mind was flustered, why was she so sweet to her.

"Wow thanks," Peridot said softly not really knowing how to respond to things like that in her life. _Do I give her a kiss? How she usually takes the lead and I just sit there… What if I mess up…?_ Pressing the urge to scream over her own internal thoughts down a bit she continued to finish the few remaining fries. With the bill brought to them, Lapis had already started bringing out her wallet to pay for it.

"Ready to go?" Lapis asked but it didn't feel much like a question with her already getting up and standing before she was done speaking.

"Yeah," with that they headed out of the restaurant and Peridot had a new favorite place to eat at.


	18. A Call On Relations

A/N Hey everyone Thank you for the support and I hope you enjoy this chapter. The next chapter is going to get pretty steamy ^,~ sorry about the sort of shorter chapters though, they at least feel shorter writing. I've been having difficulty writing lately but I think I'm getting over it, this chapter felt a lot better to write than the other few. Enjoy.

"Hey Pearl, yeah it's Lapis," she said to her phone. Peridot knew that Lapis wanted to talk to Pearl but wasn't entirely sure why, Lapis wasn't willing to spill that even with several asks. Twiddling her thumbs Peridot began walking around the house in at first a slow pace, slowly it began to take off onto a slightly quicker pace.

Peridot had somewhat stopped listening to the conversation, a few sentences would go by and her curiosity would be peaked to just questions that wouldn't be answered. Sometimes it is best to not hear anything, because if you hear something you want to know the answer and never learn it, then it sort of gnaws at you.

"Yeah, I just need you to talk to her, please." The date was great and Peridot hadn't exactly went through something like that and now didn't know whether it was over or if she was expected to do something more… _Of course it's over she's right there talking on the phone… right?_

"Oh you did," Lapis was still going on, Peridot wasn't willing to get within ear shot of the other words that Pearl was saying, it slightly agitated her that they were even talking. Odd usually Pearl got under her skin slightly pretty easy but right now she wasn't even doing anything just existing on the phone… _Jealousy?_

"Why does that matter," Lapis voice was beginning to raise a bit, _why?_ Looking over and it was as if anger was spilling out of her yet barely any of it was drenching her voice. Drawing a little bit closer Peridot was slightly afraid to spill that anger onto herself and have Lapis be mad at her.

"Well you know what, I asked you because you're the only one that this will work with!" Lapis straight up yelled that, their conversation seemed to be getting more intense the longer it went on and that weird irritation was replaced with concern. Even some of Pearls words were bleeding through with yelling not quite audible though.

"Bye!" Lapis said clearly tackling her phone with her thumbs before tossing it on the counter and beginning to pace herself. _It's alright._ As Lapis turned on her heel to start walking the other direction she saw Peridot who was watching her. That angry expression melted into a little bit of a softer look with a helpless sigh. "I need to catch my breath… I have one more thing to show you if you don't mind but I'm going to go for a run first."

"Okay… I can wait," Peridot sadly said with Lapis heading up stairs likely to change into clothes that could actually be ran in.

"I'll be gone for like an hour you can distract yourself right?" Lapis asked from the stair case halting in her movement. All Peridot could do was keep her eyes on her worried and unable to do anything.

"Yeah, it'd be better to finish on a good note…" Lapis face seem to melt into a bitter smile… _What the hell happened…?_ With that she left for her room, each step sinking in further into Peridots heart. The creak of the wood on Lapis steps towards the door eventually were worse… Completely confused, "So what happened?"

"I want Pearl to talk to Connie," Lapis gave a deep sigh before she could continue. She held the door wide open and was ready to leave. "She apparently saw us on the night we got together and was making a big deal out of it. I have no idea why, it makes no fucking sense."

"She saw us!" Peridot let out loudly quite confused, not really concerned though.

"Yeah and now she's wondering why we haven't told anyone. She also told me not to tell Amethyst…" That last sentence Peridot could feel the pain in her voice, something was nagging Lapis about that part but why?

"Why not?" The blonde asked wide eyed, if anything they should have told everyone by this point, not never tell someone.

"That's what I want to know, I guess I'll talk to her again tomorrow… alright I'm heading out now."

"See you soon."

"Yeah, bye."

With that the door closed and rustling of metal stairs could be heard in quick succession. Just one more round of circling the couch in pacing, Peridot decided. They just had food and had walked back so that wasn't a very good option and her work was already done so just one option left. Games, drawing the laptop up and placing it on her lap she began waiting for the start up.

For an elite nerd such as herself, it really felt as if in the recent years she had dropped that title in one way or another. She worked so much that she didn't seem to have time to play video games and then checked social media with a lot of her other time to check up on other things.

Once again before she could open up any game she was on the internet checking things rather than playing. Something about her time away had taken the desire to head shot some whiney kids and laugh at them. Sliding her fingers across the slightly greasy keyboard to type in a different distraction. With the world at your finger-tips an hour really isn't that difficult to get through.

Within twenty minutes of weird video after weird video her phone began to go off. She had just adjusted her ringtones to signify who was calling a bit better, with that her phone rang out a horrible screech. Normal people it'd drive crazy, it drove her crazy as well but then again that was work and what else was it good for. Trying to clear out her head with a deep breath and closing her eyes she reached forward to her phone.

"Hello this is Peridot Diamond spe-," before she could even finish words were being spat at her.

"I'm aware the phone sort of tells your name before I even call it, god useless." Pure anger was flowing forward with each word, it was as if anything said wouldn't change how she acted. "You've been finishing things late, how do you expect to be useful if you can't even do your damn job,"

"I'm so-,"

"That was a rhetorical question! You really think anything you say will excuse you? On top of that your designs aren't being as well received as usual. If this keeps up we are going to demote you!" Each word left an unclean feeling in Peridot as if she was disgusting for all her flaws. _I work nonstop for you and it's still not good enough?_ "You may have done great work before but don't think you can just relax because once upon a time you had someone looking out for you." The woman's voice on the other end had continued but a bit softer.

"The work you do is trivial at best, I could hire so many other people to do it and not have to pay them for overtime or your ridiculous pay. Honestly hiring two new people for projects would be better than just you." Those types of words hurt the most, they were true or at least the blonde thought so, she was good but with the hours she raked in and the overtime, she was expensive. "I'll give you a new job tomorrow and I expect excellence."

"May I ask what was wrong with my last one?" she bravely asked, holding the phone away in attempts to hold her heavy breaths at bay. Words she had spoken had taken all her might to make sure the demon on the other end couldn't hear her lip quivering. Yelling was not a strong suit to listen to, especially when it was genuine.

"You took an unauthorized two day break because you said the client hadn't gotten back to you? They had gotten back to you within a few hours, just because they're on vacation doesn't mean you get one as well!" _That was true her last big project… that was a mistake…_

 _"_ That was the project before last, what was wrong with my last project?" Peridot asked deeply breathing out. Her eyes were watering, she felt like a nervous wreck. Memorizing the floor was a usual habit when on the phone with her… boss.

"I just think it could have been better," The woman stubbornly said back. Usually that was a good sign, sort of… It was times when Peridot felt like she genuinely won and there wasn't actually something to complain about. A small sniff inhale to contain the sobs and the phone went quiet. "I hope I misheard that for the sake of both of us."

"Just getting over a cold…"

"That's better, you'll get my message tomorrow with all the information you need." After that the phone had went quiet, one relief. Crawling onto the couch and dragging the blanket around herself she cried.

 _Fucking demoted why?_ Peridot felt the soft blanket caress her eyes to wipe away the tears, it seemed to help however because they didn't stop. Grasping her arms around herself she just held on hoping for the pain to come to an end. Stifled breaths by her own inconsistent sniffles, constantly reminding herself to try and breathe deeply.

 _Maybe she should just demote me and not hold me to such fucking standards._ Feeling defeated she slowly toppled until her head rested horizontally on the edge of the couch. Timeless she laid there in sadness, this was the best she had. _I can't ever impress her._

It was getting to the point that her eyes were sore from the pressure of her hands and with that the idea to just let them flow until they were dry. No longer wiping her face she just stayed motionless.

With the door hitting the frame causing a bit of noise another person was present. With the will of not wanting to be seen like this she rolled over till her face was buried on the inside part of the couch.

"I'm back, are you alright?" Lapis asked curiously, their breaths matched a similar rhythm. With no courage to muster up a response she continued laying in the crevice of the couch. "Peridot?" Lapis asked as her steps started getting closer. Maybe just maybe the blue haired girl would think she was asleep and leave her be for now. "Peridot…" it wasn't a question but more so a statement of her name as if she understood.

"Welcome back," her voice was back to normal for the most part at least, the tears were coming to an end as well. Pulling through she wanted to lift her head and to look at the beautiful girl, she also wanted to curl into a ball and die at cost of it though.

"What's wrong?" Lapis asked slowly dragging her hand along the blondes head.

"Nothing's wrong," Peridot said back lowly.

"Well if you don't want to talk about it for now, how about I show you something?" Lapis asked pushing her hand down past Peridots face to drag her head out of the crevice.

"What?"

"That'd ruin the surprise," Lapis said with a quick wink as she dragged the young girl up to her feet. "You'll have to follow me and trust that I won't drop you though…" Those words were spoken with a serious undertone beneath the soft laugh, it felt sort of scary.

"What do you mean drop me…?" Nervously said back hand in hand approaching the staircase. Grainy steps felt with each placement of her feet, frequently moving trying to keep up with the blue haired girl.

"No worries, there's a ledge to step on at least."

"Ledge, Lapis I don't know if I want to do this," with that she was already opening the window and drawing them both a bit closer to it. Still feeling a bit saddened she reluctantly was following.

"Calm down don't worry about it," Lapis smiled back as if this whole thing was a challenge whether she'd be able to get the blonde up there or not. "Here I'm going to get up there first and then I'll help you up," Lazuli said already climbing out of the window. Keeping her words to herself Peridot sat there watching the girl nimbly push off the ledge to slowly climb up the side.

Bringing her head out a little bit to see the ledge had about six inches of stepping space and then another small area to climb on top the windowsill. Past both those was where the building turned into a flat box for them to climb on. Lapis was already approaching the top of the windowsill before she let out a sharp scream.

"Lazuli!" Peridot screeched back looking to see her girlfriend. Her pulse had spiked along with her adrenaline trying to figure out the cause, _She's falling, she's falling oh god!_

"Just joking now come on," Lapis said bringing her hand down having it hang midair. Each step felt as if it were a bundle of nerves on her heel making her want to take steps back not forward. With taking one step on the frame and slowly grabbing the extended hand she was terrified.

"Lazuli I don't want to do this…" Lapis wasn't responding just sitting there slowly getting more of a grip on her arm. Finally both feet along the sill and her arm desperately clinging to the inside of the house inching her way out. Both feet edging along the side of the house, a small block like area seemed to be where Lapis stepped up. It was weird, the wall of the house had several little concrete out crops, maybe for a closet or something?

Taking a step up and slowly being dragged to the slim area Lapis was.

"So I'm going to climb up there now and you just hold on tight till I'm done, then I'll reach my arms down and help you climb up." Lapis had pointed to the area they were both sitting and it didn't take those words for the blonde to hold on. Her grip on the tiles beneath her was one the hardest grips she had ever done in her life. She was technically safe since she could just calmly sit on the out crop of the windowsill but something about being around three stories up was terrifying.

"Lazuli…" Peridot grumbled to herself scared and just focusing her vision on her small hands clenching the ground. Not daring to look away without a cue from the other person with her. Stumbling steps were heard against the sturdy roof.

"Alright, so use one of your hands to climb up and the other hand I'll be pulling you up," Lapis said with Peridot finally finding the bravery to look up to her. _Just don't look at the floor around you… there is no floor around me._

"Okay…" giving in she grasped the hand tightly and slowly brought her other hand to the roof, it wasn't that tall but still not within her physical ability to climb four feet without help. Dragging her arm up was difficult and so was keeping the same pace as Lazuli, she seemed to just want to throw her over.

Hard concrete walls, scraping by them with her feet as if to salvage some grip wasn't working very well yet she was still raising up each moment. With her chest now heaving over it, she let out a few breaths with Lapis grabbing her waist and pulling her the rest of the way over.

"What do you think?" Lapis asked while Peridot basked in the feeling all around her with strong gusts of wind. A few lawn chairs and one actual nice looking chair with a good outlook on the whole town. The one good chair mimicked their couch, they must have come in a set, how did it make it up here though? The few lawn chairs didn't look that comfortable but there was also blankets and other assortments of stuff laying around on the floor.

Rapid gusts pushed around their hair as they sat there, the high elevation must have helped cause that. Along the edge of the roof was a foot tall border of concrete as if this was meant to be another area to stand along.

"It's beautiful," the blonde said back steering her eyes off into the horizon surrounded by water taking up the ground. Could see the beach full of people and along with the light blue waves engulfing the start of the sand. Turning her head away from the alluring waves to see the town, able to see what felt like every building, this whole thing sort of just felt restful. Even though you could see so much of the world it was like you were watching it through a screen and you weren't connected anymore.

"Yeah isn't it? This is where Greg would tell Steven and I stories," Lapis said looking off to the waves herself. Light hadn't dissipated into night yet, soon it would though, and the sun was just about to start to invade the water.

"I see, must be terrifying up here on a windy day?" Peridot calmly asked back and Lapis began walking over to the chair.

"Eh can be, come sit with me," Lapis said as she slowly lowered herself into the chair. Peridot took a few steps forward, it was mostly taken up what would she do?

"Where?" Peridot sort of stuttered out with only around a foot distance between them now. A sly grin crossed Lapis face, slowly her thin arms came up and pulled the blonde forward flinging them together. The blonde let out a surprised squeak as she quickly fell into the other girl. Lapis dragged her around to reposition her so that they were at a bit more comfy with the blonde laying down across her sort of.

"Here will work just fine," Lapis gladly said as they began to stare at each other. Lapis must have noticed her puffy face with this close look leaving her shocked and pulling back slightly. That was only for a split second as she quickly went forward and planted a kiss on her forehead. The light electricity ran through the blondes mind wanting more.

"So what are we going to do up here?" Peridot asked bringing her head forward slightly nervous.

"Just talk unless you want to do something more," with that Lapis winked and brought her hand forward to pet the blonde. Calming strokes went all the way to the back of her scalp and just kept repeating, something about this really was helping her.

"What do you want to talk about?" Peridot asked tempted to just burry her head into the girl and just snuggle up to her real close. So she did, with the hand still caressing her she turned onto her side and began wrapping herself around the blue haired girl.

"What's wrong? What happened when I left? You can tell me," Lapis voice was sweet and didn't even stutter any of her body movements as she spoke those lines. She was warm, her sides felt inviting and maybe she could share…

"My boss," those words alone felt a bit heavy knowing what she was about to dive into. "She gave me a call and pretty much threatened to demote me."

"God why is your boss such a bitch?" Lapis complained back her face showed she cared or at least Peridot thought it did.

"Well she has been this way my whole life," Peridot sighed as she said those words.

"What do you mean your whole life?" Lapis asked to the girl that was slightly shocked of her own words.

"My boss is my mom, I moved out to get away but she was the only way for me to get a job as well…" Peridot said. Looking up to the eyes above, they showed plenty of emotions like care and concern but most of all ease. Even with the tough situation they were giving her a break, a breath of fresh air maybe this whole venting thing really did do something. With that in mind Peridot continued to explain her life.

"I moved out when I was 16 and with my computer skills my mother could use me in her company. Each time I got promoted though was thanks to some event that she couldn't help, like a different company offering me more or no one to fill a position besides me." This part was a little bit easier for her to unravel to her girlfriend yet it still felt as if it gave something of hers. Like eight years terror were unraveling even just a little.

"I see, and she's the one that calls you all the time?" Lapis asked seeming to get the bigger picture now behind those calls. Why each comment left a tearful breath behind it, why every time an assignment was done it never felt gratifying.

"Yeah, not once in my fucking life has she been proud of me…" Those words weighed a lot, proud what even was that to most people. It felt like a fucking joke like every time some form of hope slipped into her hands it had been smacked away. God knows that the one role model in her life can only see her as unneeded.

"What about your dad though," Lapis voice seemed to be edged with more concern as it dropped a bit in volume. It seemed she knew she was stepping on a landmine and it felt as if the blonde didn't care anymore, for fucks sake she could know.

"Well my dad and mom are only married as a representative thing I don't think I've ever even seen them together for a normal day. Only on half of my birthdays would they both be there and majority of my days I spent at home." Peridot was frustrated but that had to be how she got it out and she wasn't taking it out on Lazuli she was just sharing and they both knew that. "It started out alright when my mom let me join the company."

"What happened?" Lapis asked her voice barely audible.

"My mom found out I was gay and apparently liking the same gender is frowned upon because then I can't make another spawn for your family. After that it wasn't working with her any more it was working for her, the first time she shows interest in me and I lose it by opening my mouth." Peridot sighed as she said it, her eyes felt as if they were filling again and a different crevice was her shield. Turning her body into Lapis stomach she continued.

"When word got out to my dad the first thing he did was ask me to go to church from now on… who could believe in a god when your suffocated like that though," with that she was finished and was no longer able to speak all out balling. Lapis wasn't speaking much either just letting the gentle breeze roll over them along with her hands placed over the blonde.

With her body awkwardly wrapped around Lapis and the sun slowly settling on they sat there for a long while. It felt nice and as time went on Peridot began to feel a little bit uncomfortable from her position and decided to move slightly.

Her body lifting up and she slowly began to actually sit on Lapis' lap with no other space without Lapis moving to allow for more room. Lapis didn't seem to want her to sit beside her though but to instead continue sitting no her lap. With that Peridot sort of trying to get up Lapis wrapped her arms around her holding her in place.

"I'm sorry about your mom and if you ever need to talk again I can listen," Lapis genuinely said back to her. Trying not to dwell on the events a bit ago Peridot moved on with her own idea pushing her face towards the blue haired girl.

A little uncoordinated they pressed their lips together in a sweet kiss. _This is my girlfriend eh? Do what I want with them… I'm just glad to have her…_ Soft presses and they stayed like that for a long moment enjoying the feel of each other. Lapis arms seemed to want to pull her in with small pulls then releasing, it wasn't really the best time to want more but Peridot knew she did.

"Hey Lazuli?" Peridot questioned drawing herself away for a breath and to let her know something. The girl she was sitting on was a little bit sweaty thanks to her run and was wearing a thin light shirt and small shorts, beautiful.

"Yeah?" Her voice let out, clearly enjoying the moment.

"I think I'd be okay if we continued…"


	19. Loves Touch

A/N Thanks to a review saw that the thing was completely screwed up thank you, also thank you for the reviews pizza and Jester. Thank you again for telling me the chapter was messed up. Have a good one hope it works this time.

"Who could believe in a god when you're suffocated like that though?" Those words rung through her ears. _How could they do something like that, living just isn't the same in a situation like that, it isn't okay._ Her own eyes wanted to water after hearing such a thing and she felt as if she'd choke on her own words trying to compel kindness to the bundle laying upon her lap. Regardless of the things she knew certain things didn't change, the pain her love had felt didn't change the fact of her soft hair.

A difference of constantly visible and never exposed was prominent and sort of terrifying to the girl. This was her dull past that she wasn't willing to share with her up until now. _What if she has more secrets that are even worse and I only figure out about them when they're too late?_ A whirlwind of thoughts only more potent in her head thanks to the occasional gusts.

The small body grasped the side of the chair and began adjusting herself. _She's going to be alright, I'll take care of her, she's…_ Dragging her arms out around the girl as if to make sure she didn't fall and instead she took a different route. The blonde widened her legs and had her knees tucked onto the couch around Lapis waist. _Hot… okay shit she needs you to be here for her, take a breath._ With that Lapis had a nice inhale and closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry about your mom and if you ever need to talk again I can listen," Lapis said as she opened her eyes to look at the girl a few mere inches from her face. _I'll be there for you, regardless of how tempting you are._ Lapis thoughts were genuine, she wanted to kiss the damn girl so bad inching her body forward and back but more than that she cared.

A break from her thoughts crashed her mental state with a pair of soft lips. _She kissed me first this time?_ Melting into the kiss from above with the girl on her lap having to lean down slightly thanks to the boost. As it continued Lapis wanted more, she found it incredibly hot having Peridot on her lap wanting to push her tongue through. With a slight grip along Lapis' sides to hold her in place they stayed.

"Hey Lazuli?" With a noticeable breath after their kiss Lapis was trapped. Her mind fixating on the wonderful girl in front of her and sort of lost in the moment. _She is so… wait… Calm down… She needs me right now._ Leveling out her head with some more easy breaths and trying to ignore the heat being pressed along her sides and on her Lap.

"Yeah?" Lapis asked back a large smile on her face while she remained smitten with emotions trying not to give into them. She felt the grip on her side tighten a little bit.

"I think I'd be okay if we continued…" After hearing those words Lapis thought she heard her heart stop and her entire body shutter. Desire was pouring even more forward after hearing those words, but maybe that was just her mind playing tricks and she meant something different.

"What do you mean?" Lapis asked hoping that her mind wasn't just forcing those types of thoughts onto herself. The blondes loose fitting clothes would be so easy to persuade off and, _Stop mind stop._ _She needs me, she needs me in a different way right now…_ With those thoughts quickly passing by another quick moment happened as the blonde harshly grabbed Lapis' sides of her shirt. Thrusting her head up, they met once more lip to lip.

More static ran between them and not being able to hold it back anymore she began persuading the blondes lips open with her tongue. Running her tongue slowly across her lip before entering and meeting each other inside the blonde's mouth. Tracing the feeling of her mouth just focusing on that she felt the ridges of her teeth.

Splitting free for a moment to look at the small girl sitting atop her and she noticed a little bit of eradicate breaths with a different facial expression. Like her eyes had a slight haze brushed over them and they were solely focused back on her. Gazing at those light green emerald eyes, with the common gold band running around the pupil that most green eyes had. With only half opened eyes staring at the blue haired girl and leaning forward it was clear her current intentions.

"I think I understand," was a massive understatement that Lapis had said back with her arms wrapped around her waist keeping her close. _If only this damn chair reclined._ As they both drew back together for another kiss Peridots arms were setting around Lazuli's neck. A slight difference as this time both of their tongues intermingled with at first small strokes back as Lapis took control.

Sliding her hands down the blondes back she began searching for leverage to lift the girl. Taking a break from her lips Lapis began shifting them over to her neck with small kisses and light bites pushing her hands down further. The only response to it was heavier breaths departing from the empty and wanting mouth. With that she finally grasped the bearings that she wanted.

Taking one hand down to push along the chair to help give her a boost in lifting the small blonde and keeping the other in the same spot. Softly grasping her backside continuing to force kisses on the lips granted to her. The blondes breath hitched a little bit at the feeling of being lifted and all Lapis used this for was to switch their directions. Actually having her footing a bit more solid she placed her left arm on her back grabbing around her.

The blonde was quickly placed down, she was little bit hard to carry but she only needed to be moved a tiny bit. Pushed to the back of the chair and Lapis kept pushing her further now, the blonde was against the chair and Lapis had her completely surrounded by herself. Brushing her hand against the pale cheek and bringing herself in leaning a bit down to continue making out.

Now that Peridot wasn't risking falling off her lap anymore she could just go to town across her body. Lapis began to close her eyes just thinking of the feeling of her lips, her tongue and even her chest. Her hand that wasn't getting firm grasps of hair was softly grasping her chest, it felt like cloth but slightly soft. She had a decent pair but Lapis didn't care much for the feeling of cloth and wanted more.

Persuading a shirt up and sliding her hand in, she first felt the girls' soft stomach. Drawing her body back she began to take both hands to lift the shirt off the girl until a hand came down and stopped her.

"Can we kind of go inside before we do that…" Peridot asked nervously. _I guess that'd make sense this is kind of an odd area to do it for the first time…_

"Yeah sure thing," Lapis breathed heavily, she wanted her so bad and it was so hard to get dragged off now just when it was about to get good. Taking in a deep breath to try and calm her nerves she began to actually stand straight up.

The sun was actually gone, man they'd been up here for a bit… With stars along the ocean it was actually getting a bit cold, it really would be better to go inside… It was horrible trying to get down and back into the house with this amount of light, kind of a monthly occurrence for her though.

"Lapis...?" the blonde asked with some slight movement on the couch. Turning around to face her, she still had the same look of wanting more.

"Yeah?" trying to look in her eyes a bit more, the dark made it a bit hard and now even the blonde seemed to start to stand.

"It's so beautiful out here, the way the waves and sky meet…" It seemed as if there was more to say but instead it stopped, Lapis had started walking towards the area they needed to be.

"Yeah I use to also come up here and play music…" as they walked together they both ended up at the edge of the roof looking down to the area they needed to be. Going from calm and relaxed Peridot seemed a scared now looking down the ledge. To be fair it was a three story drop if you went more than a foot out…

"Wait we have to go back down that way?" Looking over Lazuli saw the wide eyes that seemed to put a smile on her face, once they got inside she was going to take all those worries away. Drown them out in feelings and make sure that Peridot would never forget tonight. _She's so important._

"Yeah it' the way we came up, I don't just have a magical door that I can't take up." Soaking her words in a slight amount of sarcasm she began lifting herself over.

"Lazuli its dark… I can't do that… I'm going to fall." Peridot seemed to be shaking at the edge, maybe it wasn't the best idea to let it get dark but it was a bit too late now to regret it. It'd be alright and Lazuli was confident that it would be.

"Alright so all you need to do is pull yourself over this ledge and drop onto the window sill and then hang over the window sill and I'll pull you in. It's actually surprisingly easy alright?" Trying to rest her mind Lapis grabbed the small blonde around the waist and pulled her in for a soft kiss. Looking deep into her eyes after the soft sin, "I know you can do it."

"Alright," such soft spoken words, this girl could be sort of loud and then also the embodiment of quietness. Lapis appreciated that about her, she was cute and could also be funny and fun to talk to and was a hell of a listener.

Lapis started it off easily and gracefully getting her body over the ledge then lowering herself to make sure to not lose her balance. She waited for the other girl to start to join her atop the sill before she slowly began lowering herself into the actual window. _Maybe I should break off the nails that hold the door shut._ Lapis was just thinking of the correct way to get up to the roof and how it had been closed off.

"Lapis…" A nervous voice echoed along the window frame, she was already there and waiting to see legs dangle from the sky.

"I'm right here no worries." Just one foot at first and then the second, her body must still be half way heaved up on the top of it. Drawing herself closer to the legs she slowly helped the body begin to fall into the actual house. "Go ahead and drop yourself." A few seconds of holding up her legs and making sure they'd land on the window sill and let her in until finally she did. A little rattled up which was easily noticeable to her wide eyes.

"I am never doing that again," her words felt honest but next time there would be a latter to climb from the inside… maybe that could wait. Gripping onto her arm closely she still had something on mind and hoped to take something off the others mind.

"Yeah, yeah sure you won't," Lapis sarcastically responded with along with a huge smile. She was happy and she was having fun with her girlfriend.

"I mean it, honestly that thing is a thousand times more terrifying than those stairs," her nasally voice came out a bit as she ended her sentence. Her sentence was also followed by one more thing, a quick shriek as Lapis shoved her down on to the bed.

"You wanted this right?" Lapis slowly lowering herself until she laid just on top of Peridot with a few inches separating their faces. Peridot didn't seem to know how to respond with her head briefly looking away slightly and for Lapis it was time.

"Yeah…" small words that didn't faze Lazuli much with her plans already in action. First step would be to get her back into the mood which didn't seem that hard with how her body was reacting to the small nibbles on her neck. Each small pull of skin she could hear her breath leave and then moving back up to face her with their eyes connecting.

Pushing down on her mouth forcing the blonde hair against the bed and gathering her hands together. Before the blonde even put up resistance Lapis had both of her hands lifted above her head and forced down against the bed. The only reaction was a few weak pulls to bring her arms back down but clearly not putting enough pressure to actually break free.

Skating her left over hand beneath her shirt this time not giving time for rejection. Quickly sliding her hand underneath the clingy bra and she began feeling Peridots soft chest mainly for one thing. Lightly grabbing the sensitive spot and it forced Peridot to let out a heavy breath, and lift her head up leaving her neck exposed.

Forcing their mouths together and keeping up pressure and Peridot feeling a bit more erratic as time went on. With letting go of her hands it was time for her to lose the shirt, Lapis let go of her two small wrists and brought them down to the start of her hoody. A loud knock on the door and the ringing of Lazuli's phone began to sound causing both Lapis and Peridot to jump as if high schoolers caught by their parents.

"Seriously…" Lapis said quite irritated that it always seemed to get interrupted. Looking at the small blonde that was trying to recollect herself while still stuck beneath her.

"We should go check who it is," Peridot said dragging her shirt fully down. Not another break, Lapis complained to herself in her head.

"Why not ignore them and continue?" Lapis asked knowing the answer to that. Meanwhile her phone had rung through a full call for a second time.

"Just pick up your phone," Peridot sighed and said quietly back to her. Maybe she was a little bit irritated about it as well, oh well. Giving in Lapis lifted herself up and snatched her phone up and began to check it, once again a new call had started showing the name on screen. _Damnit Pearl why did you have to ruin this._

"Hello?" Lapis said trying to revert her voice to a semi normal one and not a pissed off one.

"Hey can you let me in," Pearls voice was low and could tell she was upset, what had happened?

"Yeah… one moment," Lapis wanted to push her away but her voice seemed sad, not more god damn drama. Throwing herself off of Peridot she started heading towards the door quickly running down the stairs. Once she got to the door and opened it she saw the girl that hid behind it.

"Well hello," Pearl said wearing a red puffy face and a few tears still striding along her. Lapis took a step back and brought her hand down to signal to come in. Peridot was just now getting down the stairs. Pearl seemed to notice.

"What's wrong Pearl?" Lapis asked slowly shutting the door behind them. Pearl kept looking at Peridot as if she wanted to be private between them then looking to the ground before she began to speak.

"Well I tried one last time before Amethyst knew that you two were dating…" Pearl let out still not lifting her head up as if held down by all the thoughts on her mind.

"What do you mean before Amethyst knew?" Peridot piped in. Peridot held her arms crossed and sat there watching the both of them.

"Well I haven't told her and you guys haven't been telling people so I thought I could ask her out before she knew you were unavailable." Pearls words were genuine and they seemed to have a tinge of sadness beyond their circumstances.

"I told her right when we got back and why would it matter if I was in a relationship or not?" Peridot questioned and those words seemed to bring her head up.

"You told her!" Pearl nearly yelled clearly confused and maybe slightly irritated.

"Why does it matter?" Lapis asked with an edge in her voice, maybe she wasn't wrong to have concerns about them hanging out. _Maybe they shouldn't hang out anymore…_ Lapis had taken a small step forward after hearing the news.

"Well why wouldn't it matter? She clearly liked Peridot more than she'll ever like me," Pearl said with confidence which was the scariest part. When you can have confidence in not being enough it hurts and Lapis knew that feeling quite well.

"Okay but why did it matter if she knew that Peridot was in a relationship…" In a low voice Lapis spoke back to her.

"Because…" Pearl was looking up straight in to Lapis' eyes as if pleading for the answer to show itself. "This was my final attempt and I didn't want her to say yes if she was just on the rebound from getting rejected… We've known for a while that you liked her Lapis but so has Amethyst…" Desperate words spilling out.

"So then why are you here," Lapis asked pinching her nose and closing her eyes. This was a problem that she didn't want obscuring her night.

"Well… when she said no… we sort of got into a fight of sorts and I stormed out." Pearl was poking her fingers together as if reconnecting memories not to be shared. Lapis wanted to just tell her to go apologize and to sleep at her own house but she knew that wouldn't be that nice. While she wasn't too concerned with being deemed nice she did want to at least appear nice while in front of Peridot.

"You can sleep on the couch," Lapis gave in and said which brought a smile to her face and Peridot didn't seem to change much. _I guess she's okay with her staying the night then…_

"Thank you very much," Pearl said quite genuinely. _Has she slept over here before?_ Lapis questioned since it had been so long since she'd hung out with Pearl at either of their places.

"I'll get you a blanket and pillow and feel free to watch T.V or something like that we won't be down here much though since we were going to go to sleep." Lapis said slowly turning away to go lay out the red blanket along with an actual pillow to be used. Feeling a bit lazy she decided to just steal one from Peridots room.

Pearl and Peridot seemed to be talking a little bit a few words that didn't really happen to pass her ear when she was grabbing the pillow. Interrupting their conversation Lapis decided to get some information that would be important.

"So actually how long are you staying? Also you could sleep in Peridots bed since she'll be busy in mine tonight." As Lapis said those words she winked at Peridot which seemed to bother her as her face had now harbored a bright shade of red. Pearl chuckled a little bit after hearing that, as if none of it was anything new.

"Hey! Why did you say that?" Peridot asked clearly bothered with Lapis saying that. Lapis didn't want her visit to feel too comfortable.

"Well I mean I didn't really expect anything less with how you two made out as a confession," Pearl said shrugging her shoulders at the comment. This caught Lapis a bit off guard and made her feel a little bit flustered as heat rose throughout her body.

"Hey," Lapis said back a little bit irritated at being called out on her confession.

"And I also assume I shouldn't look up for the rest of the night huh?" Pearl asked in a way that felt more so like a comment than an actual question. Pearl was still heaving in new breaths through her nose once in a while but at least there was a small smile on her face. Looking back at Peridot and she seemed a bit flustered with that comment maybe thanks to her experience looking up. _Is she actually being sassy towards me what the hell?_

"Well I mean I'd prefer not but it's not going to stop me, perv." Lapis said back to which Pearl had a small laugh. Meanwhile Peridot didn't seem to be enjoying the way the conversation was going with heavy blushing.

"Lapis stop," Peridot complained balling her fists by her side.

"Couldn't be worse than when I lived with you." Pearl said and then began looking towards Peridot. "You should have heard those two… they were so annoying and they both would constantly walk around the house in just their underwear or sometimes worse. They were so improper I couldn't have friends over."

"Really," Peridot asked laughing a tiny amount at hearing that.

"Hey that was one time when we both thought you were gone!" Lapis frantically yelled back thinking of the day when they thought that Pearl had already left for college. Turned out that the teacher was sick so the class had to be canceled for the day because they couldn't find a substitute…

"Yeah, yeah if only that was the only time." Pearl said back which was embarrassing Lapis quite a bit. "She really was quite a wreck most of the time, guess that's why they fit so well together." Those words went back to a sad tone by the end.

"We really don't need to talk about that stuff Pearl. So do you want tea or something?" Lapis asked beginning to walk towards the kitchen. _She always wants tea, she's freaking Pearl._ Lapis desperately wanted to draw the conversation away from where it was going. If she was Peridot she'd be deathly jelous by now, _I wonder what's going through her head after hearing that._

"Oooh what kind do you have?" Pearl asked taking her eyes away from the short blonde and into the kitchen with Lapis. Pearl had nimbly slid out of her shoes quickly to walk over in the kitchen to check out their array of tea bags.

Opening their cupboard full of tea supplies there were only a few separate flavors. A blueberry one and chamomile tea and a few other boxes that were likely empty. Lapis wasn't much of a tea person and majority of hers were out and never restocked because of the lack of money. Maybe tea shopping in the next couple days would be a good idea.

"I guess chamomile it is," Pearl said while Lapis was already setting a tea pot on the stove to boil some water. A small red pot with a black handle, her pots and pans were an amalgamation of separate types.

"Yeah good choice," Lapis said back, that tea had a special place for her and Pearl. It was the type that she would make for Lazuli when she'd have her nightmares and walk out into the kitchen. God knows that nothing could wake Amethyst once she fell asleep and hell she didn't understand the fear that ran through Lapis' body during those nights. At least Pearl would listen.

"Would you care for some?" Pearl asked with her eyes darting to the kettle and back. _She really is sweet sometimes,_ Lapis thoughts stirred as she began to walk back to her blonde.

"Nah, I think we're going to go to bed now, feel free to shoot me a text or something if you need anything." Lapis began turning when she felt a hand along her shoulder. It was Pearl and looking over at her, she sometimes was a little bit touchy with those she trusted. _How the hell could she like me again, how could she even trust me?_

"Suit yourself, have fun you two. Good night." Pearl said before she began maneuvering around the kitchen, Lapis wasn't exactly sure why but she didn't care either.

"Good night," Lapis said back while drawing her hand up as if to wave while walking the other way.

"Night…" Peridot said a little bit bitterly. _She must be irritated right now but I wonder at which one of us._

They both began heading up the stairs, the blonde was the closest so she started the trip up them which felt like the wrong move. She was slow while the blue haired girl wanted to just sprint all the way up like she usually did. Patiently they climbed the stairs, with one advantage for behind her. She could gaze at her figure, the night could have been worse with as far as things are she was alright with this.

"Are you alright?" Lapis asked as they completed the stairs. The small blonde turned around and with the sudden change of darkness only brief parts of her were visible.

"Why wouldn't I be?" She asked back clearly a little bit agitated. With the dark silhouette turning away and actually heading towards the bed. The blue haired girl had calmed down quite a bit and followed till she came to her side of the bed. Stripping off her pants and bra leaving just her shirt and panties.

"Just wondering, I'm here for you, you know?" Lapis said back slowly listening to the noises of the bed rustling as the other girl sat down. Slowly inching her way across the bed she drew close to the other girl

"Yeah, I know. It's just sort of annoying that Pearl has to ruin everything." Peridot said and after had a deep exhale. After centering herself a bit and feeling the brief contact of the blondes soft hoody Lapis began to speak again.

"Well you know it doesn't have to be ruined," with that Lapis latched on to her wrapping her arms around her and her legs. Following it up with a light peck on the side of the girls head.

"Lazuli!" Peridot squirmed underneath the clutch of the blue haired girl. It wasn't hard to keep her there and she wasn't exactly putting up much of a fight but Lapis was enjoying the snuggling quite a bit.

"What?" laughing a little bit from enjoying the whole situation. She was happy with her and just glad that they could be together. No more hiding her feelings or having to wonder if she would find someone, she had Peridot.

"Nothing… Also…" a bit of a pause and she could feel the deep inhale of the girl she had engulfed. "Are you wearing pants?

"No, I'd rather be comfortable while trying to sleep." Lapis calmly said back. "So besides the call did you have a good day today," she asked with her voice portraying how genuinely she wondered. Her head resting on the blondes' chest with her arm caressing her stomach.

"Yeah, it actually was pretty good," in that moment Lapis hoped that they both were just thinking of the good parts of the day. Despite it getting ruined twice, they still had a nice date and still had this moment to lay together and get a bit closer.

"Want to make tonight even better?" Lapis asked her eyes starting to adjust to the darkness and with just a brief idea of the outline of the small girls face.

"How so?" before those words could be responded with another set of words Lapis had begun kissing the girl. First one on the cheek to fully figure out how her head was placed and next one on the lips as if they supplied life the longer they were together.

"Lazuli… I'd really like to but Pearls down stairs and she already said that awkward stuff about seeing us together and such…" Peridot had said back and she was right but Lapis was in a good mood being close together.

"Well then how about we just start by kissing and see where it goes from there?" Lapis asked keeping the girl in a tight grip. She could feel Peridots breath breeze by as she let out a long contemplative sigh.

"We both know how that's going to go, though…" Lapis began kissing her even more and before long she was actually straddling on top of her. With deep kisses that penetrated deep into the small girls' mouth she continued. "Lapis…" she said clearly a little bit concerned about the situation but Lapis had her right where she wanted.

"It'll be alright," Lapis softly let out soothing the mood around them a little bit. "I do have one favor I need to ask of you though." Driving herself back down and after a quick kiss giving a quick nip along the side of her neck while dragging her hand under her shirt.

"What?" Peridot breathily said clearly already getting lost in their actions. That made this easy for Lapis and sort of exciting seeing as they had mainly only made out so far and that she was getting this excited for it.

"Will you lose that hoody for me?" Lapis asked and as she did she was already helping to take it off of the small frame it laid on. "This is going to be a fun night," Lapis reassured the blonde.


	20. Midnight Pie

_Want to hear a story?_

 _A small book with familiar characters along the front_

 _Glow of the fire place caressing the room_

 _Well I guess let's read the first page together_

 _A lamp alongside the bed providing light_

 _A few rattling noises with a door opening_

 _Remember that I'll always_

 _Siren sounding drawing curious eyes away_

 _Shrapnel laying along the other side of the room_

 _IS HE ALIVE? IS HE ALRIGHT? PLEASE!_

 _A door slams a presence is gone and replaced_

 _Bloody hands tear filled eyes._

 _Why would you ask for this? Why? I DON'T DESERVE THIS!_

 _The other presence engulfing the room while stained hands couldn't be wiped clean_

 _Fear closing her throat along with the clean hands attempting to take her breath as well_

 _Remember what you've caused, no one loves you just die like him_

Shuddering skin wrapped into a closed fetal position. Her nose and pillow were left to catch the constant stream of tears following gravity. Her hands still felt as if they stuck together with the sticky blood that never left. _Take a deep breath, it's all over now, please just stop._ Her eyes felt as if they were connected to a waterfall as trying to even think or justify the past brought more tears.

 _Why couldn't he be here now, I miss him so much… We could have been happy, I wouldn't be so fucked up._ Running her fingers along her wrist she felt the valleys and mountains of scars in many lines of them. Turning her body a bit over she plummeted her face into her pillow, it caused many things. Lack of oxygen and the feeling that she could actually yell without waking up the girl beside her.

Taking another breath and attempting to tear her lungs with harsh loud screeches proved unsuccessful as she choked on her own tears. Breathe coughing up in odd intervals clawing her hands deep into her pillow. _I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry, I was so dumb and it didn't have to be this way._

Heaving a few more breathes as if they could be her last ones she began trying to focus. To focus on her breath not the dreams of last glimpses of her father, not of her mother's frustrations and last not of her own regret. _Just one more breath,_ that thought couldn't be finished without seeing the smile of her father. A quick shake and finally completely losing it, giving in she stayed scrunched up for a while waiting for less vibrant memories.

Maybe an hour had passed, without any idea of time she began to rise slowly. Feeling weak as if her strength was all being taken to keep her eyes from closing. Her eyes weren't heavy for sleep but the desire to close them and hope she wouldn't cry again. _I'm supposed to be happy, I'm happy, just not now…_ Scraping off her shirt from the ground and quickly throwing it on and beginning to descend down stairs. It felt better to have something wrapped around you than being mostly naked.

It was hard to even remember that Peridot was in the same bed as her with those dreams clouding every thought in her head. Once she did fully recall it though she felt an ounce better, not much but a sigh left her feeling lighter at the thought. One other thing however that was hard to remember was the other girl sitting at the couch twiddling her thumbs at her phone.

"Hello Lapis," Pearl said staring up the blue haired girls' attire. Which currently only consisted of her shirt that barely hid her panties underneath. _Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!_ Lapis yelled loudly in her head while bringing her head down and pulling in air past her closed teeth. Pearl was still fully clothed in what she had actually came over in.

"Hey Pearl…" Lapis awkwardly said with her voice barely having any life in it. The girl on the couch rose up and began walking towards her. Pearl wore a light blue t-shirt and short tight blue jeans, her thin figure showed quite well from it. _I can't, I just can't right now, I'm sorry._

"Are you alright?" Pearl asked seeming genuinely concerned, waking up in the middle of the night only did happen on certain times. Lapis tried to push words out of her mouth but the starting process of thinking wasn't firing up. The engine of her mind was dead and she just continued to stand there drifting her eyes away. "It's alright," Pearl said wrapping her arms around Lapis.

"So they're still happening huh?" Pearl asked softly with her arms in light contact. The hug wasn't dragging her in too much it felt more like a cloud surrounding her showing just enough attention. "It's alright Lapis, it really wasn't your fault so please stop blaming yourself," her hug had tightened a little bit and Lapis was now reciprocating.

Her eyes were starting to feel a bit heavy again as Pearl patted her back lightly. Her spindly fingers tracing around easing her as she began to cry again. First a few drops but as Pearl kept easing her and holding her close more tears fell. _I couldn't stop it and I didn't know it'd happen I'm sorry. Amethyst never got it but at least she was there._ Lapis couldn't help but remember the counseling Amethyst tried which often just showed her not being so sensitive.

"Hey how about I go make us some tea?" Pearl quietly said to which Lapis just gave a small nod. Knowing herself or at least what had happened earlier, she wasn't willing to attempt to talk. As Pearl slowly let go of her she gave a brief smile before heading into the kitchen and putting some water on the stove. Lapis just ended up going over to the couch and sitting down bringing the blanket over her nude legs.

Waiting patiently it seemed that Pearl wasn't exactly leaving the kitchen any time soon. That was alright, Lapis scrunched the blanket up in her lap and held it close. These times were the worst, the energy it took to hold up her strong surface just wasn't there and she had to deal with that. Stiffening her unsteady lip a little bit she prepared for conversation.

Sharp whistles came from the kitchen showing that the water had come to a boil. Lapis eyes didn't even switch spots at the noise instead they just continued to focus on the small table in front of her. Pearl wasn't even asking whether she wanted honey or sugar in her tea, she already knew those things. _Man she still remembers how I like my tea… impressive._

"Remember it's hot," Pearl said coming out placing the two small mugs on the table. Her voice was cheerful which could help distract from her inner thoughts. Quickly switching the televisions channels trying to find something that they could both enjoy. Pearl didn't really watch much television at least from what Lapis could tell. "I'm sorry by the way…" it came out in a low voice and Lapis wasn't willing to even look over. "I'm sorry about not listening to you about Connie and I will do it…"

"Thanks…" Lapis said back focusing on the constant changing voices invading the room. Pearl slowly slung her legs underneath the remnants of the blanket. Lapis could feel the heat off the side of Pearls leg and remembered her predicament slightly. "Sorry… about my lack of clothes and such…" Lapis slowly said as they stopped on a cooking channel.

"It's alright, not like I haven't seen you like this before," Pearl said calmly with both of them looking at each other. _Man I'm such a fucking loser._ "Remember that time you and Amethyst were so drunk that right when she said skinny dip in the ocean you were already off running?" A distant memory that only had a few things she could remember.

"Sort of… I remember Amethyst and I trying to force you to join us as well… Then we ended up just picking you up and throwing you in regardless." Lapis only really remembered that part and the killer hang over and waking up naked on the couch…

"Oh yes I remember that… It was so difficult to get you two towels for the walk back to the apartment. You two used to be so crazy together, I never knew what to expect when I went out with you guys." It sounded so bitter sweet to hear those words coming from her, like her tone was dripping with the past joys of memories, no longer their present joy.

"Definitely don't remember having a towel…" Lapis guiltily says thinking how embarrassed she was in the morning. Amethyst just sort of played it off like she usually did keeping calm and telling her that it was only Pearl that saw anything. Amethyst could make her feel free sometimes, that was nice, regardless of the scars.

"Well I made sure to take care of you two drunks," Pearl sort of snobby said. It was appealing to have a positive outlook on some past things of hers. "Hey Lapis can I ask you a question?" Pearls voice was off, it felt like one of those weighted questions that changed the entire atmosphere of the room.

"Uh… Yeah?" Lapis coyly responded hoping that it wasn't anything too bad. She was already in such a horrible mood as is and pressure didn't really help with that. Pearl was looking over at her now, she could feel the gaze burning on the side of her face before she turned her face to look back.

"Would you… have…" A bit of a pause and Pearls eyes faltering downward. "Be alright if I stayed a couple days, I never really answered you when you asked earlier. Yeah… that's all…" Pearl added few words near the end, it felt as if she was lying but that was obvious. She was a horrible liar and for now that'd be alright, Lapis wouldn't pry past.

"Yeah, Peridot's going to start sleeping upstairs with me from now on," Lapis said taking her eyes back not even to the TV but anywhere besides the girl beside her.

"Yeah, I figured that…" her voice was slightly sad once more but also a little bit teasing. "I definitely have some words to say to her tomorrow."

"What do you mean?" Lapis wondered why she was so confident of that.

"First off you're quite controlling I know that and second off, I heard her a few hours ago… Like you'd allow that away from you." Pearl had a huge smile on her face and the atmosphere was over, it was nice once again.

"You heard her?" It was beginning to dawn on her what she meant and that only cause Lapis to have an emotionless face responding.

"Having no walls doesn't exactly help shield away your voices." That was true, thinking back on it, tonight probably wasn't the best night to do things but…

"I wanted to make sure your visit wasn't too comfortable, trying to scare you away and such." Lapis was regaining a little bit of her composure and was also gaining a load of embarrassment.

"Yeah well glad to hear she enjoyed herself," Pearl commented happily.

"So how long are you thinking of staying?"

"Well at most three days I swear, I don't really want to speak to Amethyst today and maybe tomorrow if I have the time I will. Still got to work you know and after work I should probably pick out some groceries for dinner." Pearl was already getting lost in her list of things to do. "What would you like for dinner tomorrow?"

"Well uh if you're cooking how about cordon bleu chicken?" Lapis remembered that she had made that once before and it was surprisingly good.

"Very well it's the least I can do for you letting me stay with you. Also I think I may have to make this apple pie, so far it looks very good." Pearl said with her voice sounding very pleased with the outcome of ideas. Paying attention to the small details of ingredients in the pie Lapis had to agree, although having someone else's pie sounded more appealing than baking on her time off as well.

"If you need any special ingredients I'm sure that we have them down in the bakery also." Lapis confidently said back knowing that everything she had heard so far was either easily obtainable or that she had it.

"I'll think we'll be just fine. I do have one more question, what am I going to say to Connie?" Pearl asked letting her eyes rest on the TV. It was hard to answer that question, something that would need to be felt out and no direct thing off the top of her head.

"I don't know, feel it out? You know Steven, just try and get her to at least give him a chance. Or maybe even talk to her about why she left Steven and give her your two cents." Lapis answered a little bit baffled on what to say herself, most of her thoughts were trying to just be friendly with the girl but what if it backfired. Connie looked up to Pearl and what if this ruined their relationship…

"Very well, I shall try my best. I have to be back at work again tomorrow for most of the day but when I'm done I'll shop and maybe stop by her house or see her there." Pearl was another thing that Lapis had just thought of and honestly didn't want to give into. Pearl could be the guide to getting Sadie in to working at the hospital…

Sipping on some restful tea and watching cooking shows, it was a good way to spend the night. The rest of their early morning, late night was just spent with idle chitchat regarding what they'd do differently in recipes. Warmth of a blanket and smiles of a friend and a voice, something there, no more silence. No more being alone on those nights regardless of the situations.

No more waking up in tears and just thinking of how it should all come to an end, now someone was beside her that she could wake up if it came to it. She could call to someone to cast off her shadows with light words passing by her ears. If Lapis was the ocean than she was currently the waves being lifted to her sweet love the moon, the small peaceful area driving on.

"Hey Pearl I'm going to hit the hay, thanks a lot for tonight…" Lapis casually said standing herself up trying to keep her shirt low.

"Your welcome, have a good night Lazuli," Lapis turned her head around wanting to correct her but instead caught a different sight.

"You know… you could be less obvious about checking me out…" Lapis dead panned back. Maybe it'd be okay if she got away with calling her by her last name this time. Pearl seemed to get highly flustered by getting caught, two options lay in front of her now and both were appealing. Walk away immediately and just play it off or stay behind and corner her on the conversation…

"I wasn't checking you out… I was…" Pearl was trying to speak back and her eyes couldn't keep in a consistent spot, constantly looking around. "Looking at how thin you've become, you really should pack on more weight," Pearl finally said back.

"Yeah miss the weight off my ass, whatever Pearl good night." Lapis said ascending the stairs, her sarcasm was back a little bit, which was good. Giving her shirt one better tug as she walked, knowing that it wouldn't really help thanks to her moving up the stairs so if Pearl was watching she still would be able to see.

Pearl made a few huffs and puffs clearly a little bit flustered. "Good night."

Into the enveloping shadows once again but this time she at least had a little bit of confidence and a small blonde to hug. Waking up Peridot at the start really would have been the best plan but it was a little bit late for that now anyways. Coming up to the small bed she made sure to get over to her side first before inching her way over. Peridot had unraveled herself and was now taking up half the bed in a star like figure. Lucky her body's quite tiny making it easier to find space near the end but that wasn't the goal.

Lifting her small arms and then forcefully turning on her side Lapis closed the distance having her chest rest against her back. With still having soft snores, Lapis proved successful in her staying asleep and snuggling her.

A large inhale occurred in the small blonde before she forcefully heaved her body over to lay on her back. In the process her arms came up and her elbow struck Lapis right in the nose.

"Shit," Lapis called out with her nose getting struck, which seemed to make Peridot stir a little bit. Drawing away a little bit, until the small blonde had completely readjusted herself before Lapis went over to her. Maybe a little risky trying to snuggle someone moving in their sleep and her nose hurt quite a bit.

After that however it was pretty quick to start to fall asleep, occasionally rubbing her tender nose. Darkness enveloping her along with heat of the girl right beside her.

Sleep went by like a pitch black chunk of her life taken out without any resistance. It was weird to her how so many hours could go by and feel like nothing at all, like the world just forgot about her and went forward. The main cause of her waking up would have to be the small blonde trying to leave the bed which would take her pushing Lapis off her chest. That was her home now laying her head above her chest, Peridot had no choice in the matter.

"Good morning," Peridot said with a concerned looking face. Looking toward the blue haired girl who was unmoving. Closing her arms even tighter around the blonde before looking up with a little bit of a smile and two heavy eyes.

"Morning, where do you think you're going?" Lapis asked while her body reacted to her tiredness with a burdensome yawn. Grabbing her a little bit tighter to not allow her to escape and Peridot was trying, clawing at the end of the bed for leverage.

"Let me go," Peridot frantically said not giving up her grip. She was still completely naked, which was quite appealing to get a full grasp on her body.

"Where yah going?" Lapis nosily asked, resting her head in the middle of her back with her arms wrapped around the girl. Being a little bit bothersome was alright with her, she just wanted to be near her.

"Well I wanted to get up and use the rest room but someone is stopping me." Peridot said back clearly slightly annoyed and looking down at herself. She was likely noticing that she was naked and a bit embarrassed by it. Her face was slightly red and she wasn't willing to look Lapis in the eyes, which seemed like a pretty obvious answer to Lazuli.

"You know you elbowed me in the nose last night right?" Lapis said playfully, as Peridot turned to look at her and check if she was alright.

"I don't see any mark," Peridot said beginning to try and wiggle free once again, Lapis used a bit of her strength to just drag her further onto the bed.

"Wow, it hurt you know," Lapis laughed back, it was like they were playing a little game together. She was happy about it, someone she could just have fun with even at the start of the day, even if the other girl seemed a little less enthused.

"I'm sorry," Peridot said back to which Lapis roughly patted her head and let go. They smiled at each other briefly before the girl was completely free.

"Alright Pearl's downstairs so don't forget to put on clothes." She began lifting herself up as well putting herself in stretching her arms out.

"Very well," it was almost instant it seemed like that the blonde had pulled her clothes up and was not in the nude anymore. Slightly disappointing but that was alright, Lapis thought to herself she should probably do the same and wear more than a shirt and panties.

It was pretty early in the morning, only eight and everyone was already up and getting ready. After sliding on her clothes and running downstairs she had ran into Pearl once again and shortly after Peridot had joined the scene. Pearl was cooking up some eggs and bacon along with some cut up fruit on the side and three plates were set out.

"Good morning you two, breakfast will be made in a few moments and after we eat I will be heading out," Pearl calmly said and just around her many things were out for cleaning. Besides those few items though the kitchen was absolutely spotless, when did she find time to sleep.

"Thanks, it looks spotless out here, I really appreciate it," Lapis said genuinely while approaching the kitchen. Even the floors had looked swept and the counters looked as if they'd been cleaned off. Even the damn oven was spotless, that thing hadn't looked that good in years.

"I'm glad to have helped, you do a great job keeping it up so it was just some simple work is all," Pearl proudly said holding her head high. She was taking out the eggs and filling up the three plates with their food, a perfectly healthy breakfast as well.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" Lapis asked a bit concerned about the girl, she had a long day and as a surgeon it'd be bad for her to not fully function. Peridot was already sitting on the couch with her computer open, grumbling about random things.

"Oh I had plenty no worries, I woke up just before you came down, and I'd actually been sleeping before that. I also fell asleep right when you went upstairs and only woke about an hour ago, no worries.

"Before she came down?" Peridot turned to face the kitchen and ask about it. She was wearing her regular green hoody, might be close to time to wash it again. _When is the last time she did laundry? Maybe I should throw a load, I can also wash Pearls clothes in order to thank her._

"Well Lapis came down stairs after she had her nightmare last night," Pearl said as if it was common knowledge that she had, had one. Lapis preferred that the whole world didn't know about it and was going to tell her later about it. "Didn't she tell you about it?" Pearl curiously asked, bringing the plates down as both of them sat on the couch, Lapis didn't feel like sitting down yet. Standing was nice especially when getting questioned about certain things.

"No, she hadn't mentioned it…" Peridot said back with a clear edge in her voice. Maybe she was slightly upset at not talking about it, but it's the morning after bringing it back up would just be a bother…

"I haven't really had time to tell her about it, we kind of just got up as well." Lapis said calmly, Peridot would understand she was quite reasonable, it's not like any of this is anything bad even so.

"Lapis… I remember you wearing something particular this morning, was that your same attire when you spoke with Pearl...?" Her question had that edge to it again, why would it contain that?

"Ohhh don't worry about it, I'm used to seeing her like that." Pearl quickly stated, as if she was beginning to understand the conversation more so than Lapis.

"Okay…" Peridot slowly said, noises of the fork scraping the plate were evident, it hurt.

"Well you have nothing to worry about Peridot, you're the one that was screaming her name last night." Pearl slyly said, which arose a huge amount of blush on the small blondes face.

"No?" Peridot said back sounding like a question and clearly not even thinking about what she was refuting with. That was not exactly a solid argument against it and Pearl let her know that with another fact.

"Nice mark along your neck, how did you get that over night?" Pearl asked clearly winning the conversation to which Peridot jumped up and bolted over to the restroom. That eased the pressure a little bit and Lapis could actually begin to eat. The food was exquisite, eggs were an excellent scramble with plenty of flavor but they still weren't Peridots eggs.

Peridot was slowly shuffling back from the restroom with one hand on her neck as if to shield away from the views of others. She sat down and all of them finished their food in silence with Pearl being the quickest and heading towards the door.

"Well I'm off to work I'll see you two tonight." Happily those words flowed through the air and she was out the door quite quickly, Pearl often walked quickly or even jogged to places.

"Bye," Lapis said as the door closed making barely any noise, that took a bit of effort not a surprise Pearl would do that. "Then there were," before Lapis could finish talking an annoying ring was coming from Peridots phone. It was just a text and the poor girls face dropped right when she read it.

"That's a lot of work…" Peridot slowly said and continued it with a sigh and pushing the food away for her laptop. It was like there was not an in between, either work with all your might for the tasks or have them completed. No rest, no breaks and work for a whole week straight…

"Hey Peridot… I understand this job means a lot to you, but may I say something…" Lapis slowly asked, knowing that the girl wasn't in the best mood.

"What is it?' Peridot asked not taking her eyes away from the computer screen.

"How about you quit and work with me in the bakery?" Lapis ask which bolted Peridots eyes away in disgust, it kind of hurt.

"Lapis I worked so hard to get this job I just can't give it up alright, you can ask Pearl to work for you." Peridot said back, mentioning Pearls name hurt and was a low blow, maybe it'd be best if she took Peridots route and worked on her day off as well.

"Alright, I'm gonna go work with Sadie for a little bit," Lapis said back hurt. Leaving the small blonde on her laptop with some maintenance ideas to work on in the bakery, like washing the ovens.

Sadie would appreciate the extra help and the conversation, maybe it'd be good to talk to her.


	21. Declaration

A/N We're just about at 100k words, thank you everyone still reading this story. This chapter is a lot of talking sorry. Hope you all enjoy :)

"She said she'd do it! She also happened to say she was thinking the same thing, I mean I knew I was right but it's nice to know for sure you know?" Pearls ecstatic voice rang through the phone bombarding Lapis with the news.

"Alright, alright calm down and just tell me what happened okay?" Lapis asked hand covering her eyes as she laid back on her bed. Peridot had been on her computer even when she got back from work and didn't even say anything when she entered the door.

"So I went over to her house before groceries because you know it is better that way then carrying a bunch of things." _Dear god Pearl just stick to what happened…_ "When she came to the door I asked to come in and we had some tea. After that we just started talking casual, complaining about work and stuff like that."

"Alright…" Lapis interjected thanks to Pearls breath of silence. _Maybe I should go apologize to Peridot… for what though? Well I guess Pearl seeing me like that and not going to her first… those are probably issues but whatever…_

"Then I mentioned her and Steven and things got quiet, so I asked what happened. Apparently the reason she broke it off was mostly thanks to the stress of working and feeling like Steven's a bit childish. With the break between them though she misses him and the break he would give her. They definitely need to have a talk about patching things up but we also have an idea for it. You are going to send Steven on a blind date and I shall send Connie on a blind date." Pearl finished off, this part actually struck Lapis away from her thoughts mulling it over a bit.

 _If they did this and both of them accepted it then it'd be alright. Steven might be harder to get on board with him thinking it's a blind date with some random girl. Then again he might just think it'd be alright to get a new friend and go along on those premises._ Lapis began rolling around on her bed thinking.

"I'll send Steven a text or call him, then I'll get back to you and hopefully this all works out. Why can't I just tell Steven he's going on a date with Connie, since Connie already knows?" Lapis asked knowing that would have been the easiest way to drag Steven out.

"We want it to be a surprise, anyways that," _yeah, yeah I get it._ Lapis hung up the phone and began her next call. Within a few beeps the other line had picked up.

"Hey Lapis what's up?" Steven happily said, this was going to be difficult. Part of Lapis didn't want to have him get upset about being forced onto a date but she knew it was necessary.

"Hey Steven… how do you feel about going on a date this Saturday?" Lapis asked with a brief silence between them. Her voice was nervous and hard not to show it to her friend.

"With who?" Stevens's voice remained steady, it wasn't as happy as before but was a little bit curious. _Shouldn't he be more on edge, well whatever this is good anyways?_ Lapis took a deep breath before she could explain it all.

"Uh I can't tell you, but just let me say I think she's perfect for you alright?" Lapis said back hoping for approval, he was being surprisingly obedient towards this conversation.

"I think I'm alright Lapis, I'm going to take a break from dating to try and be a little bit more independent." _Here it is, knew this was too easy_ , _thank god he isn't getting depressed over it at the very least._ With a small smile skirting Lapis face she began her second attempt.

"Steven it'll be fun if worst comes to worse she can still be your friend in the end, like you've said you can never have enough friends."

"I don't want to deceive her… sorry." Steven said once again, third times the charm. With that Lapis took a deep breath considering her options.

"Steven you brought Peridot and me together and we're happy together. I haven't been this happy in a long time she means the absolute world to me and now I need her in my life. You may not know if this will change a lot or if it won't change anything at all but the least you can do is try, that's all I ask. I'm trying for your sake at this point like you did for mine. If you want to be as careful as possible I can invite Pearl and Peridot and we could turn it into a group outing okay?" Lapis finished off spewing honesty, it weighed a lot telling the truth of how much her little blonde meant.

"I guess we could do a group outing…" Steven was very clearly thinking over the whole situation. Which was okay because he was wrong with whatever he was thinking, this event wouldn't be what he thought it would be.

"Thank you, I'm going to go call Pearl and ask her to come along alright?" Lapis responded not knowing where the lies to this plan would begin or end so keeping it safe with another white lie. With enough told here, they'd have to keep to their separate sides so Pearl wouldn't reveal anything.

"Alright thanks for the call Lapis," Steven said back a bit quiet. _Guess it was inevitable that it would bother him somewhat._

"Anytime, I'm going to call you again tonight though, I have some things to discuss and we haven't been talking enough lately," Lapis happily said wishing that some of it would wash off on her buddy across the line.

"Sure thing," his voice with a light touch of joy, man he was like a sponge for happiness.

"Bye," with that once again dialing another number.

"Hello this is Pearl I cannot get to the phone right now," Lapis hung up before the message could finish. Just perfect she didn't pick up this time. Before she could shove her face into a pillow and try and sleep the door downstairs had rattled opened. _Maybe something Pearl said about having no walls was a little too true…_

Noises of plastic bags rustling and light footsteps danced about the house. No words were shared however amongst the people downstairs, soon enough the steps began to head towards the stairs. Quick and light until a short light strawberry blonde haircut poked within view. She wore a slightly creepy smile on her face as she invaded Lapis personal space.

"Hi…" Lapis awkwardly responded as the girl stood at the edge of the stair case holding her nose high in pride. Meanwhile Lapis hugged her blankets and sat crossed legged waiting for an answer to the odd obtrusion.

"Well what did he say?" Pearl asked turning her head slightly as she asked. She held her arms along the side of her body eagerly waiting for words.

"Why are you in my room?" Lapis asked more than slightly bothered of someone invading her room without her permission. _This is my room, don't just walk right in just because there isn't a door._

"Ohhh sorry for the intrusion, I just got back with groceries for tonight, so what did he say back to you?" Pearl asked once again avoiding an actual answer on the question with more so an apology. Lapis just had a short sigh as she realized that she wasn't going to get to have this girl leave her room until they got answers.

"I'll explain downstairs let's at least put groceries away while we speak," Lapis said shifting her gaze off to the walls beside her. Slowly sitting herself up and Pearl had this look in her eye of pure joy and a large smile at those words. "What...?"

"You're actually going to help me put away groceries?" Pearl eagerly asked, her hands were balled and brought up to her chin shaking slightly with excitement. It was actually pretty cute to watch and drew a short laugh out of Lapis.

"Well yeah… you were willing to buy groceries and even cook for us. Of course I'd help," Lapis said as she took the lead in walking down the stairs.

"Thank you, Amethyst never helps me, I don't even think she is thankful." Pearl happily said which made Lapis think to back to when they lived together. _Amethyst never really did help with much, makes sense, what does Pearl even see in her._

"Yeah sounds a bit like her…" Lapis said back losing her thoughts gazing at the small blonde hard at work on the couch. Early morning till night enveloped the sky and she was still on the computer, that couldn't be good for her health. Nor mental state.

"Yeah she still hasn't even messaged me…" Pearl said looking a little bit forlorn. Taking out the occasional thing to help prepare for tonight's dinner. Having your feelings exposed and then never responded to sounds quite painful, that poor girl.

"Really? Not even asking where you have been?" Lapis shocked asked back, she only knew some of the groceries they would need to keep out, not all of them. Leaving the rest of the groceries to Pearl would probably be for the best anyways.

"Well let's not dwell on it, what's the news on Steven," Pearl hopefully said back with a definite fake smile grimly put on her face. Pearl was also avoiding the groceries at this point fully paying attention just to Lapis, some people just need one positive thing in their life.

"Alright well I told him we could make it a group outing this Friday, that I'd bring along you and Peridot that way it doesn't even," Before Lapis could finish a voice sprang to life taking over the conversation.

"Wait… you said we were going out this Friday Lapis," Peridot angrily asked. Her face wore tired lines underneath her eyes along with an open mouth of disbelief.

"Well I said that," before she could finish the blonde was on the attack once again.

"Lapis, I have a huge project I need to do, I can't make it. Just take Pearl with you," Peridot hung out those last words and they hurt. Lapis held her hands close to her core in small balls wishing to make a black hole with all the pressure building in them.

"Peridot, no one is going, this is all just something to bring Connie and Steven back together." Frustrated Lapis had responded a bit angrily as well, fed up with not being listened to. "So I lied to him so that he'd have a happy surprise on his date. You don't have to butt in our conversations." Lapis finished off which seemed to have a strong effect, Peridots face dropped along with her shoulders. Looking quite dejected with one last puff of breath the blonde went back to work on her computer.

Lapis looked away finally to see Pearl staring at her, hand over mouth, she seemed to be in disbelief as well. This was all just forming into an unnecessary head ache, _Peridot can't act like that to me_. Taking a full second to close her eyes and bask in the darkness, not being able to see others she took a deep inhale before looking over to Pearl.

"Do you want some help prepping the food for tonight?" Lapis asked dragging herself a few steps back into the kitchen. She wanted to cry and she wanted to scream but neither of those would help anything.

"Oh um sure," Pearl awkwardly responded, likely sensing the situation she was in the middle. They had been together for like a week and were already having an argument.

With that Lapis started by cutting the fat off the chicken and then listening to Pearls instructions to cook the rest of it.

Everything went well when it finally got to time for dinner, Pearl had the Pie in the oven baking the final remnants while each person had their own plate of food. Thanks to two of them being stick thin, they fit on the couch with ease with the TV on brushing through a few shows. Each channel had someone speak up about how they couldn't stand it. It felt like two parties were polar opposites and Lapis was stuck in the middle.

"That one is obviously fake and could never happen, why not watch this one at least?" Pearl said with an air of superiority as Lapis changed the channel before her other ear could be yelled into.

"Hey aliens are still better than some dumb cooking show, we're already eating something we don't need to be staring at some other food while we eat." Peridot angrily shouted back, if it were down to Lapis' imagination she swore the blonde would be growling beside her.

"Well I wouldn't want to have my appetite ruined by some bloody murder that is completely idiotic. Horror movies are dumb, the people never take good precautions and just wander aimlessly." Pearl seemed to be leaning right against Lapis to stare down the other girl and make a point.

"Not my fault you have a weak stomach," Those were the last words she could stand. Lapis took the remote and switched it over to a random drama and set the remote between her legs. Only one of the two girls could reach for the remote there and like they had the courage.

"We're watching this now because you two wouldn't shut up," Lapis said to them in a dead tone. Not moving her head to see either reaction or give way, it seemed they were each trying to make a rebuttal but the blue haired girl didn't care.

After a few minutes everyone had seemed to calm down, Pearl was no longer pressed against Lapis. Peridot was no longer turned to face the agitated Pearl with her legs constantly tapping Lazuli's. Repetitive tapping was one of the most annoying things out there to Lazuli, first one is okay but the thirtieth makes you want to deck someone.

Facing into the TV watching as the drama reveals more plot twists to try and make it appeal to more people… It was working, if anything all three of them were leaning forward a little bit to watch for any detail. Pearl during certain moments would actually stand up and begin to pace behind the couch with her eyes not leaving the television for a second.

Taking advantage of the moment, Lapis laid down across her spot draping her legs across the blondes lap. With the laptop resting on the table she took advantage of one more thing, seizing the small arm and bringing it with her. Slight resistance before Peridot toppled and fell into snuggling the blue haired girl.

"Lapis…" Peridot responded slightly irritated sounding but not enough for any true negative connotation behind it. Wrapping her arm around the back of the girl, Lapis gave her a large hug. She just wanted to be happy, today had a lot of drama that all of them were stuck in.

"Yeah?" Lapis teased running her hand softly across her shirt and also being the only one willing to look away from the TV. A soft shirt with the presence of warmth just underneath, just a drop of someone being there was enough for her.

"Nothing…" Peridot had given in and with that Pearl had walked around the couch and was now looking down at the two of them. "Hey… there's a chair over there," with a small laugh behind her voice they calmly laid there.

Lapis wore a smug grim at their spot being defended instead of insisting on her sitting up and not snuggling her girlfriend. Pearl listened but it was short lived, as she sat down within a few more minutes of the show she was already up and pacing again.

With another episode of the drama continueing all of them came more equipped for watching it. Each person had a slice of pie warming their mouths and guts, dinner was spectacular even with it being a difficult meal to make. Cordon chicken bleu however wasn't quite as tempting as the apple pie gracing their lips now.

With scents that wafted through the air causing drool before the food could even reach your lips. _I should keep this recipe and start selling this in the bakery,_ Lapis thought as she dragged another piece into her mouth. Cinnamon apple chunks that had a slightly crisp outside and soft inside tasted great. Looking back on her last few months showed a great change, regardless of her still not at a healthy weight she was improving.

Her friends were back and things weren't too awkward between them and to make it even better she had new friends as well. Reminiscing Lapis decided to walk off to her room for now, a few looks of concern with a smile flashed back at them to ease the worry. Hell beforehand any break she could get from the world of drowning herself in drinks she'd take, it was different now. No drinks were used to cure her issues lately, only used for the pure entertainment purposes friends used them for.

Money was no longer drowning her in debt with each bill going miles further in paying off debt compared to previously. She set foot in Steven's house, in front of Rose… One of the few that made her feel loved, with the fear of disappointing her gone now. Each step up to her room felt like another memory conquered as she moved up. Working on even fixing things with her best friend and his ex-seemed to be flawless, both of them wanting to be with each other again.

Reaching the end only meant that there was one last step to take and Lapis knew that.

"Hey Steven…" Lapis spoke into her phone.

"Hey you said you wanted to talk a bit more?" Steven asked his mood seemed quite chipper.

"Well I do have something I need but first things first, how are you doing?" Lapis asked allowing the conversation to be longer than a few mere sentences.

"Good, we haven't been talking much so this is a nice call," Steven happily said. She could just picture him pacing around his house, jumping on the couch and other assortments like that. He did that with all phone calls he took until Rose would yell at him.

"Yeah, been a little busy taking care of Peridot. You know she barely even knows how to do laundry?" Lapis asked with her voice showing her own astonishment towards the lack of knowledge in the girl.

"Well I mean… when she lived here Rose did all her laundry to begin with so…" Steven's voice was low as he mentioned previous memories. Lapis laid down on her back across her bed, staring into the ceiling with a realization.

"That liar she said she just didn't know how to use my machine and that she did her laundry at your house." Between both of them was a few chuckles, it was easy to sit on the phone for hours with Steven, and it's also just as easy to talk to him for hours. Some nights they'd just sit and talk for so long, they really were like… They really were family to each other.

"Maybe she was embarrassed?" Steven asked, a few more lines of jokes between them. Happily on the phone they both would still even change their tones of voice to act something out. Before long though, it was time to sleep and also for her to ask her question.

"Hey Steven… I think I'm ready to see my mom again…" Silence reigned between them. Lapis ran one of her hands through her hair as she waited for a response.

"Are you sure?" Steven asked, clearly unaware of what to say, but he was also showing concern in those words.

"Yeah, I think I've held this off as long as I can." This was the last step, regardless of how high it was, she was confident she could take it.

"Want me to come along?"

"No I'll have Peridot come with me, we'll be fine. Regardless, I still have to figure out how to contact her."

"I can ask mom if she has her number for some reason." _Hm that is very true, they might have stayed in contact to tell her how I'm doing. As if she actually cared for me, she's probably just glad she didn't go to prison._

"Sounds good, well I actually have to go to sleep so good night Steven," Lapis said waiting for the quick good bye on the other side before putting her phone down on the table beside her. One more goal before bed, walking over to the ledge of her room she looked down at the small blonde. "Hey Peridot come here," Lapis shouted which quickly drew frantic eyes looking up. Even Pearl seemed a bit questioning of it.

"Why?" With that their shouting match across the house had begun.

"It'll only take a moment, come here!" Her elbows were across the ledge waiting, with her head resting in her palms.

"Fine…" it wasn't quite a yell and seemed like she was grumbling about getting up from her spot during it. Watching the blonde quickly type something on her computer and then closing it before running up the stairs. Pearl was just sitting there with a small smile across her face, likely laughing to herself at the events.

Peridots steps on the staircase were a bit heavier with each pound drawing closer till she was finally at the top. "So what is it?" Peridot asked with her arms crossed and a slight heave in her breath after the run up.

"Let's go to bed," Lapis said lazily grabbing her hand and beginning to drag her to the bed. Quickly pulling her hands free Peridot backed up a few inches.

"Lazuli, I have work to do…"

"Well… Please stay with me, just sleep the amount of time you would have tonight and then get back to work." Distance between them becoming a bit prominent as the blonde took steps backward, it felt harder to close it.

"Lazuli…" Peridot said her voice low as if she was begging to be set free. Closing the distance she walked forward snatching her hand once more and dragging her off towards the bed. Peridot resisted slightly but it didn't take much to bring her along.

"Please for tonight, I have some things I wanted to talk to you about," Lapis honestly said. Once they were far enough away from the side she stripped her pants and dragged Peridot into the bed with her.

"Fine…" _she deserves to be rewarded._ Lapis thought to herself as she softly grabbed the sides of her face to bring her in for a soft kiss. Their lips melted together producing static along their minds making it hard to think of anything besides the kiss. As she drew her face away it became obvious that the blonde had wanted more with her lips drawing forward as Lapis drew away.

"Thank you."

"So what is it that you needed to talk about," Peridot said as they laid facing each other. Blanket thrown over them, with Lapis' hands caressing the other girls' stomach shifting the hoody around.

"Well, when your next assignment was done, I was wondering if you could take some time off and we could go to visit my mom..." Lapis declared her plan, the lights from downstairs bleeding through enough to see the green eyes peering back.

"Your mom?" shocked, wide eyed she responded. Even bringing her hands up which ran into Lapis side as if to reciprocate the gentle strokes.

"Yeah, I think I'm finally ready to face her, hell I think I kind of need to face her at this point. It would mean the world if you'd be there with me for it." With that it was silent for a moment but the blonde moved her body closer and wrapped Lapis in a large hug. Tears wanted to spill forth with a huge smile at the girl showing affection.

"Of course, I'm here for you Lapis. This one is probably going to take two weeks and I'll talk with my boss about it. I still actually haven't used vacation time yet and I think I have it. I'm not really sure a lot of the time but I can ask." The words rolled forward and Lapis was falling for each one.

Even with the previous sour words mentioned to each other, she was still there for Lapis. With a deep hug back Lapis wore a huge smile at the genuine words spilled out to her. Fear was in her mind for the conversation with her mom and all things surrounding it, but the dreams wouldn't stop and neither would her pent up emotions towards her mom.

It wasn't just hate that filled her mind with her mom, even with all the scars imprinted into her skin that she blamed her for, wasn't hate. Sure she wanted her dead but most of her just felt disappointment and sorrow, if only she had been enough in her life. One thing outweighed any of her feelings for her though and that was the regret of missing her father.

A great man, who would have taught her how to live her life well but instead… Before her thoughts could finish Peridot grabbed Lapis face and brought her in for a deep kiss. Perdiot lead them forward for once with another kiss quickly planted once again on the lips. Contact that immersed Lapis' mind in their joy, their dedication to one another.

"We can work out the details when I'm closer to being done with my work but you should probably call her in the meantime." Her words were gentle, the same as how she was pushing Lazuli's hair back past her ear and staring straight in her eyes.

"Yeah…" Lapis slowly responded getting lost in her own emotions, this terrible subject wasn't even piercing her thoughts. Like a cloud had been put around her mind, joy and care were the only things fogging her brain.

"Also when you do call her, please tell me how it goes," after those loaded words shot through her mind she decided it was finally time for her to reciprocate. Giving her love a huge hug back and just over all being thankful for having her.

The final noise of the night, before shadows could envelope her dreams was a sharp whistle likely coming from a kettle. After that lights were out.


	22. A Touch Of Sunset

A/N This chapter was not in my plans at all but I think I like how it turned out, hope all you do as well.

"Alright Lapis here's your moms cell phone number," Steven extended his slightly pudgy hands with a small note. Lapis quickly took it and threw it in her pocket, she had to get out of here now that she had it. They both sat at the restaurant waiting for a certain someone to show up, it was the same one that Lapis had taken Peridot on their date.

Quickly taking out her phone and shooting off a quick text to signify that the girl could show up and come to the actual table. Looking up from her phone she saw the young brunette boy shaking ever so slightly. He wore a nice white dress shirt with a black bow tie and then some slacks, Lapis forced him to when he tried to dress casual. He was pressing his fingers together frantically and Lapis definitely felt bad, with how desperately nervous he looked.

"Hey Steven I have to go to the bathroom I'll be right back," Lapis said trying to get away from him. She needed to get away so their meeting could be just the two of them and leave them for their date.

"Lapis can you please just wait a moment," Steven begged as Lapis felt a steady grip hold her wrist, restraining her to the table. Beginning to freak out Lapis pulled her hand a little bit harder away from the puppy dog eyes.

"No Steven I'll be right back alright?" dragging herself away, he finally let go and Lapis looked back at his drooping head and felt awful.

"Please I think they're here, just stay for like one minute," Steven pleaded. With those pleas opened the front door, Connie wasn't alone though. Pearl was walking along her side seemingly just as skittish as Lapis. Looking over the booth edge and looking at both of them, Steven must have seen her worry as he began to look as well. With a large sigh escaping she let Steven look over.

"Hey Steven," Connie happily said over to the table. Lapis began splitting her hands along her sides in a wide confused gesture to which Pearl just solemnly shook her head. With a sigh leaving her breath the two groups were fully together now.

"Connie! Hey uh hello, what are you uhm doing here?" Steven was stuttering out each word with his face staring holes into his feet.

"Well um I wanted to uh… well it's not important let's just have a good time alright?" Connie nervously spoke back clearly not wanting to reveal the whole plan. Now that it came to it, Lapis only planned on getting them together not any of the rest.

"Pearl can I uh speak to you for a second," Lapis asked slowly walking away and grabbing Pearl by the shoulder.

"You two can't leave, you're staying for the whole thing," Connie confidently spoke to Lapis. Clearly there were parts of this plan that weren't revealed to her.

"Okay…" Lapis turned her head to see a smile along Connie's face. Taking some steps away till they were a bit closer to the front door. They were enough distance that the low rumble of noises dispersing from the building would cover their voices. "What's going on?" Lapis asked with furrowed brows, quite concerned.

"Well I don't really have time to explain, I thought this would be a nice day for us as well. Here change into these alright?" Pearl said with a bag of clothes, on the very top was Lapis blue dress she often avoided thanks to her scars. Looking up at the peach haired girl and she began to notice something. Peeking out of her jacket was a bow tie as well, her black jacket concealed a lot but now Lapis was beginning to question the situation.

"Where did you get these clothes?" Lapis demanded an answer as she pulled the bag away.

"I did laundry earlier, Lapis I want everyone to have a fun night tonight that includes you. I planned everything out already so don't worry and I'll be paying for everything on our side." Lapis stared back a little dumbfounded and not really knowing what to do. "Now please go get changed, it also has a jacket in there if you get cold."

"Why did you pick out this one?" Lapis had to ask, this outfit had a lot of memories built into it and Pearl had to know that.

"I know you treasure it and it's really a shame that you've been avoiding it." Pearl looked earnest with a slight bitter edge in her eyes. _Why does she know so much…?_ More freaked out than anything Lapis left towards the bathroom. It wasn't until she was actually fully changed into her dress that she realized she had went along with everything.

Looking in the mirror showed a dark blue haired girl with a two piece dress like thing. The top was a mixture of dark blue and a lighter blue that left her stomach exposed. The dark blue color formed a diamond once paired with the bottom skirt, only separated by the exposure of a glimpse of her stomach. It showed her full arms and even her back which was the worst part.

 _What is even happening tonight…? I guess it's too late to not play along now._ Drawing her eyes away from the mirror she began to open the heavy door to walk over to her friends. Steven and Connie on one side and Pearl alone on the other. Heavily tempted to try and fit three people along one of the benches but then again that'd slightly ruin things.

Taking a seat beside Pearl and she saw Pearls light blue eyes staring back at her with a wide smile. Letting a gentle sigh escape she brought her own lips to an upward curve. This whole thing felt like a trap she had set for herself that she didn't know about until now.

Quickly a waiter stopped by dropping off a few drinks, looking down she saw a strawberry lemonade parked along the coaster in front of her. Looking to the right of her she saw an ice tea that Pearl had gotten.

"I hope you don't mind me ordering for you," Pearl said taking a sip right after she spoke.

"It's exactly what I wanted, thank you." Lapis said shoving the bag along the side of their booth.

"Alright so I have to know, which of you two started this?" Steven asked starring down the both of them. Lapis wanted to point it out as a group effort but before she could Pearl had begun to speak starting with clearing her throat to get attention.

"Ahem. Well Lapis started it and made this all happen however I have planned out what we shall be doing tonight." Pearl confidently spoke with her hand wrapped into a ball just in front of her chest.

"Well I wanted to say thank you." Steven happily said back.

"I would like to as well, thank you." Connie happily chimed in as well. Connie was dressed in a cream colored yarn shirt that was cross hatched with showing the clothes beneath. Underneath was just a regular white shirt. It was a cute outfit meanwhile Pearl still hadn't lost her jacket. "Also I love your outfit Lapis."

"Thanks. I wasn't even aware I was going to be wearing it till Pearl forced it on me." Lapis slyly spoke looking over at Pearl who was now half choking on her drink. This arose a laugh around the group as they actually began looking over the menu. _Connie must have had a part in planning out the rest, why else would we be joining them. This was supposed to be their date._

A few plates of mixtures of sea food and bread sticks slowly came forth as their night went on. Everyone was enjoying their food and it felt like Lapis was the only one out of place. No one else was questioning or feeling nervous or so she thought at the very least.

"So we are going to go to the beach part beside Steven's house, the area that no one ever comes to. I have an idea and also I made desert so don't order one here tonight." Pearl spoke as if guiding sheep and everyone just watched and happily agreed.

"What are we doing there?" Lapis gave in asking her question.

"Don't worry, you'll like it." Pearl assured her.

Lapis wasn't eating her pasta that quickly, she enjoyed the shrimp but ended up just pushing everything around for the most part. _What is wrong with me? Everyone is just trying to have a good time and I'm getting a break for once._ With those few thoughts Lapis gave up, her curiosity would have to wait for the actual events. It was time to join the herd and just enjoy the events that were spilling forth.

"Hey Connie so what is it like at work?" Steven asked turning his body to face Connie, resting his head on his hand. It was so impressive that they weren't even acting too awkward to each other this quickly.

"Well I think we might have to fire a nurse who has been stealing stuff recently. I'm not even sure if we're going to fill her spot or not." Spark riding along the back of Lapis' mind she spoke up before she fully thought it through.

"If you need a nurse, you should hire Sadie. She's this girl that works for me and has all the training to be a nurse but you know, no openings." Lapis said aloud and it may have come off a little bit frantic.

"Ohh yeah Sadie is amazing Connie you definitely should!" Steven chimed in swaying his body forward with each word.

"Well I mean if anything Pearl would be better at getting her hired," Connie said lowering her face slightly.

"Don't sell yourself short, we can both speak to administrator and anyone would listen to you. You're quite highly regarded you know?" Pearl said back clearly wanting to help the nervous girl on the other side of the table.

It seemed to have worked, Connie's face held a small blush at those words, with her keeping her face towards the table. This brought a genuine smile to Lapis face as she thought of the girl able to get her dream job. However this also meant that she would be alone once again…

"Hey Lapis why didn't you just speak to me about this?" Pearl asked, she looked sort of hurt with it.

"I already ask you for so much, I felt like I needed to at least repay you for a few other things before being more direct about asking you. I wanted to but still, it also means that I won't have anyone to work in the bakery with me." After that answer Steven seemed to pipe up quite a bit.

"You could hire me!" Steven shouted out edging his body forward nearly spilling out of the table.

"Steven I mean you could, but I don't think it's what you think it is." Lapis was cut off by his energy deterring her negativity.

"Hey I've worked it with you before, I mean you might have to refresh me on it but on days I'm not working the carwash I can help out." _Man he's a blessing, even when he has to help run something else he's trying to help save my sorry ass._

"I guess that's true, okay well let's talk about this some other time. Don't want to ruin the mood with work and stuff." Throwing a wink at Steven to which he grasped his chest with a huge exaggerated exhale.

"Alright I'm going to pay now and then we can head out to the beach," Pearl declared which wasn't going to work out how she wanted. "I need to catch the waiter's attention real quick, so can you let me out Lapis." Buckling down Lapis placed her hands on the table with a harsh grasp before turning her head and killing her facial expression.

"No you're stuck here now," Lapis said as Pearl looked at her with slight annoyance.

"Just move Lapis," Pearl tried to push Lapis but was halted and Lapis began pushing back. Unfortunately the waiter happened to be walking by with a desperate hand waving towards him. "Waiter excuse me, excuse me," Pearl frantically said before Lapis finally gave her a bit of room to move forward and pay.

"Fine, fine," Lapis easily said back as the black leather folder was hauled off with Pearls credit card held in it.

"Connie and Steven, you two can ride together and I'll drive Lapis over there." Quickly the black booklet was back and all of them were leaving, no to go boxes were fetched even though Lapis had a bit of food remaining.

Leaving the door, Lapis nearly forgot to pick up the bag with her other clothes. Steven was happily bouncing along Connie until the dispersed into the cars. _Pearl has a car?_ Lapis wasn't aware of this, being a surgeon the pay had to have perks. It was a small blue car, besides that Lapis couldn't really place much on it. She had no interest in cars to begin with, so a bunch of names often flew over her head.

One thing did strike her as odd though, it wasn't a soccer mom car. Okay Lapis didn't really think she was lame or anything just that, something along those lines could fit for her.

"So when did you get this car?" Lapis questioned, no one in the town really needed a car with everything being a simple walk and there not being too many parking lots.

Leather seats that sunk with her sitting down and the door closed with ease.

"Well I recently got it. A week or so before the trip, I got it so I could drive myself but Steven convinced me out of using it." Pearl was already taking the wheel and quickly driving out of the parking way.

"Kind of odd to bring it tonight, we all could have just walked." Lapis said resting her head along the side of the window just atop her arm.

"I'm carrying some things, like your change of clothes and some other stuff for the last part of our little date." Lapis didn't really have any other questions that wouldn't spoil the trip so she decided to peacefully close her eyes and wait. Bumps were barely noticeable and watching along the edge of the sand was a beautiful sea. A touch of sunset was kissing the edge of the ocean bleeding through some orange.

Soon enough they were parked along the side of the mountain with Pearl frantically getting out of the car and running around.

"Lapis I need help setting up, I brought several bottles of wine and a blanket so that we could finish this with a small picnic." Lapis was lightly brushing her feet in the sand before walking over to the trunk of the car. A large basket was in it along with a blanket held on the outside. She decided to pick up the basket and lug along.

With the blanket finally splayed out Lapis could set the basket down and soon enough Steven and Connie had rejoined them. Pearl was frantically setting up cups on and plates on the blanket. Along the inside of the basket was two bottles of wine and a pie. Digging through it a little bit more and there were speakers.

"Well how about some apple pie along with some wine?" Pearl asked as the other two began to sit down with them.

"Sure," Steven said back which Pearl was already putting slices of pie onto plates.

"Here I'll pour the glasses," Lapis said slowly picking up the wine and pouring them a few glasses. After all the formalities of thanks and such, they all had plates and drinks in the other hand.

It was an odd mixture, having alcohol on the beach didn't seem right, then again they were sort of right by Stevens house. Apple pie just like she had made several days ago, _she must have liked it a lot._ As the others got a fresh first bite of it they showed similar responses.

Looking off into the sea, Lapis took slow bites enjoying the moment for what it was. Now, current, nothing was here to ruin it and that was something that was nice. Orange was dappled along the edge of the sea keeping the golden shine glowing outward. Transitioning into a blue that almost purely consisted of the shine of the remnants of light. Once it finally traveled along the sand it kept small areas of a deep blue.

Within losing herself in the waves something began playing in the background. It was just violin and it was very captivating to engulf them in.

"Once we're done did you guys want to dance?" Pearl asked, _maybe she really did have this whole thing planned out. Pulling out all the stops for those two, of course they want to dance together._

"That sounds like a great idea," Connie chimed in surprisingly quicker than Steven. Upon looking back it made sense, Steven face was full of pie slowly crumbling through it. "I haven't danced in so long though…" Connie said to the group sounding a bit nervous.

"Don't worry," Steven said through his mouthful of food, it was barely audible but everyone got the picture. It helped that he rose both his hands with thumbs up, and looking back Lapis had finally noticed it. Pearl had finally lost her jacket and was wearing a nice white dress shirt with a vest clinging over to her frame. Running along her slim neck was a pitch black bowtie as well.

"Also if any of you would prefer to change the music, you can just simply plug in your phones. Just don't play any of your music that is unattractive to others, looking at you Lapis." Pressing down on the blanket Lapis began to stand up, attempting not to spill her drink.

"Hey you kept listening to it." Lapis confidently spoke back, everyone was finishing up their food but there wasn't exactly a good spot to risk placing the drinks. Either finish it or keep sitting. It was nice to stretch her legs, she wasn't sure why but she wanted to stand up and finishing off the wine, it wasn't too difficult. Pearl walked over and began pouring her another glass quite quickly though. "Hey I'm fine I don't need anymore."

"Oh you can place it down, just put sand around the base." Pearl casually said back before parting to walk back to the basket and set the wine down. Lapis didn't quite feel like doing that either, especially if they were going to be dancing around this area. _Eh Steven still has a few more bites I can finish this drink before he's done._ Lapis began to somewhat chug the drink to finish it.

Pearl was already quickly walking back over to pour her another glass. Having several cups while eating and more now would be a little bit over kill.

"Hey Pearl I'm really okay, no more, I'll get it myself," Lapis said with one of her hands pulled up to halt the girl in her sandy tracks. Lapis was already feeling the affect with her vision not keeping up to her heads movements as easily.

"Very well, Steven? Connie? Would either of you two like more?" Pearl asked turning to them. _Was she only refilling my cup?_

"Nah I'm good but how about you Connie?" Steven turned bowing down with one hand resting on his gut.

"Thank you but I'm fine as well," Connie said laughing slightly at Steven's antics.

"Then may I offer you a dance?" Steven said lowering his body until it was on one knee. With his hand going in a complete circle before offering it up to the woman in front of him. _This quickly and it's like nothing ever happened, how nice._

"Well why of course," Connie responded and by now Lapis was done watching them. She did like how Connie's dress seemed to absorb the orange light though. Looking back to the sea with the pink clouds clouding the furthest point she could see, slowly dribbling back to a bit more blue the closer it got to the skies above them.

Walking a bit closer to the water she began just admiring the beauty once again. _I wish Peridot was with us right now, she might not enjoy dancing or any of that but I want her with me._ Before she could get lost in missing her special someone a hand had pressed along the side of her shoulder. Turning around she saw the strawberry blonde girl mimicking Steven, she was left on one knee with her hand extended.

"May I take this dance," Pearl said with a smile pressed along her face. Lapis let a long breathe escape before she took her hand.

"Fine," both sides were freely dancing around, Steven acting like a fool for the most part and Connie stuck between joining in, or just laughing at him.

Meanwhile Pearl and Lapis were being a bit more coordinated, feeling the sand press down underneath her feet. Quickly moving their arms and legs, not quite in sync but trying at the very least. Both were smiling as well which was the important part.

Before long the song was already switching from the quick paced violin to something quite different. It was a lot slower and had piano mixing in quite well, it sounded quite bittersweet, and beside them Steven and Connie were slow dancing.

"Oh my, uh were you still alright with dancing Lapis?" Pearl whispered, her eyes were quite wide with concern and how could Lapis ruin this moment for the other two. _It's just Pearl._

"Yeah, I'll be fine." As her words gave, in Pearl took a step forward quickly wrapping her arms around Lapis' waist. Her grip was quite firm as they began to slowly move, it wasn't nearly as intimate as the two others practically snuggling with moving their feet.

Instead of focusing on the foot work, Lapis brought her eyes up, and looking down at her starring were another set of blue eyes. Quite a bit lighter than hers, it was so easy to move when the slender hands on her back guided her. Pearl seemed to be pulling Lapis closer as the song paced on, their bodies were only an inch away from matching the other two. Lapis grip was steady clinging on to the back of her neck with this being the first time that she didn't guide the dance and it was peaceful.

"Hey Lapis, after this song let's leave them be." Pearl said in quite a low voice slightly luring their bodies away from the other two, with her guiding the direction. Lapis just gave a brief nod, not really wanting her voice to ruin anything. Part of her wanted to drop her head and close the distance, must be the alcohol Lapis concluded.

 _What the hell is wrong with me, acting like some shy girl or some shit._ Lapis thought about how she wasn't speaking much which irritated her a little bit. Taking a breath she continued enjoying their dance as it was slowing down.

"Hey Steven we're going to head out now, since we've been drinking we're just going to walk. You guys can keep dancing and just place it back in the basket when you're done and set it closer to the mountain." Lapis said tearing herself free from Pearls grasp, it took more than she expected.

"Alright thanks again guys," Steven happily said lifting his head away from Connie. They all began to say there good byes as they began to split.

When they had walked a bit away from them Lapis felt something tightly grip her hand. Looking beside her Pearl was wide eyed looking to her as if waiting for a response.

"Pearl?" Lapis just questioned slightly tugging her hand yet it was not free still.

"Here just come with me real quick, I have something I want to talk to you about." Pearl frantically said dragging them a bit closer to the mountain.

"Can you let go of my hand then?" With that no response was shared just guiding into a cave like area of the mountain. It wasn't a real cave just went in like a foot and then stopped with a large wall, but no one around could see in.

Drinks were hitting Lapis a little bit harder and maybe Pearl as well with both of them not as steady. Pitch black stone surrounding them with the clouds shifting into a darker tone signifying night just behind them. No stars were there to grace the sky yet, that was alright, made it a bit easier to move.

It happened like lightning striking the floor in front of your face. Eyes that couldn't keep up with the surroundings as well, not noticing the quick movements. A harsh grip on her hand that pulled her forward with another body in movement.

Pearl had attached their faces with contact between their lips, soft contact that left Lapis head reeling along with her body unmoving. Paralyzed from the surprise feeling a soft grasp on her head from behind before she began forcing the girl in front of her away.

"What the fuck Pearl!" Lapis exploded nearly knocking the girl over with the force of her voice and hands pushing together. Heavy breaths and a confused brain constantly thinking of the kiss, she didn't stop it and that bothered her. What was worse is that she wanted to continue, feeling her hairs light pull from the other person grasping to pull her lips together harder.

"Please let me at least explain," Pearl looked desperate. Wide eyed just staring deep into each other's eyes, Lapis really wanted to turn her away.

"I have to tell Peridot and you definitely need to find somewhere else to stay tonight. You can't stay with me anymore, Peridot would not be okay with that." Lapis said bringing her hands up to cup her face and tear at her own hair. Turning around to attempt to walk away keeping herself safe, desire was her enemy.

"Lapis you should break up with Peridot." Those words forced Lapis to turn around quite irritated.

"I love her, why the fuck would I do that," Lapis shouted with one of her hands pointing at Pearl. Pearl was backed up against the wall both hands slightly raised.

"She doesn't understand you, she never will. I know how to help you and I'll always try and help you. It started off the first time we had tea I realized I could help you." Pearl tried to explain to the now hot headed girl.

"I don't want to hear it! No and just ARG." Lapis couldn't think of anything to say.

"Lapis listen, I want to help you and I care about you, Peridot doesn't know your past like I do, she doesn't understand what you've been through just logically think about it. I can help you, I can be there for you so much better than her."

"I thought you liked Amethyst… I'm leaving" Lapis said taking a few steps away trying to clear her head holding it up with closed eyes.

"I did, but not after the trip." _Then why did you still go for her. What the hell Pearl._

"Good bye Pearl. See you later." Lapis said keeping the distance between them and increasing it with quicker steps.


	23. Ungraceful Goodbyes

Stars could finally grace the night sky with an appearance, the sky seemed to be dipping into the sand as if to paint it a shade of dark blue as Lapis walked along it. Her dress flowing and feeling quite free as it floated around her knees with brief contact. Her phone was settled into one hand with a bag full of clothes resting in the other.

"Hey please don't tell Peridot, I know I made a mistake but please don't tell her." Her phone showed those words with only a glance to read them over. Frustration spilling forth on her fingertips as she wrote out a response.

"I have to tell her, maybe it'd be a different situation if you didn't force yourself on me, and I'm not keeping secrets from her though."

"Lapis, I just still want to be there for you." The constant buzzing of her phone was becoming a bit of an annoyance, she still didn't hate Pearl though. She did do wrong, but she worked hard to do good as well. It was especially hard to think of someone too poorly when you still had the taste of them on your lips. Pearl must have been wearing some form of Chap Stick or something because her lips tasted fruity and sweet.

"Well for now we can hang out with others around, once Peridot trusts you then we can work on hanging out just you and me sometime." Lapis sent that message and didn't know how much she believed of it herself.

"How about this, if you don't tell her… I get Sadie a position by the end of the week," Lapis heart dropped at seeing this bribe. It was a hard decision to make, if it would affect someone else's life then how would she deny them that.

"Pearl we'll talk about this tomorrow and I don't want to pick between my relationship and someone else's life." With that she sent the final text and even when her phone buzzed once more she ignored it.

Sand dropped underneath her feet with each step, only a few more minutes until her house would be the sight ahead. Tomorrow she'd make the call with her mother and tomorrow she would tell Peridot everything that happened. That way she wouldn't be drunk for either of those important talks and could word things properly.

Slightly chilled sea breeze combed through her hair pushing on a light freeze to her body. Covering her arms with each other until she fished out a jacket that was left in her bag. _Pearl knew how to take care of me, but I don't love her. Just because I liked her kiss, doesn't mean anything. God I just want to curl up in bed and snuggle Peri._

Before she entered her house she sat down on the curb and watched the distant ocean that swallowed the sun an hour ago. Each wave crashing gave ease to her thoughts, the ocean was a good place to be. Its constant waves didn't stop, sometimes they were higher up and sometimes they were lower but regardless it continued.

Taking one last look of ease she began to raise herself up, etching her hands in the remanence of sand along the sidewalk. Dusting her hands off along her jacket she began to ascend the staircase. Creaking noises that might as well have been white noise to her along with a glimpse of light from their living room. Once at the top of the stairs she saw a small girl wrapped tightly in a blanket slamming away at keys on her laptop.

Before she could turn the nob of the door she heard frustrated growls coming from the blonde. That brought a smirk to her face, it was a very fitting thing for her to return home to and she enjoyed that. Letting herself into the house the blonde turned and their eyes met.

"Oh welcome back Lazuli, where were you?" Peridot curiously asked, it was like all her prior frustration was melted with the introduction of a new person being there. It reminded her of a dog that was tearing away at something before their human comes home.

"Oh god it's a long story, can I tell you tomorrow?" Lapis asked wanting to clearly express how done with the day she was. Even with those words lingering in the air her face still captured a smile pressed along the edges.

"Sure… thing…" Peridot looked quite awkward as if not knowing what to do past that point so Lazuli took the initiative to continue their conversation.

"So how was your day?" Lapis asked placing herself down on the couch beside her girlfriend. This spot was a bit more comfortable than the concrete outside.

"Eh alright, got another call… I made more progress than she expected though so that's good." Her voice was lower than usual at this, a slight tinge of bitter sweetness was tainting the words. Peridot had raised her hand and began brushing the back of her head, looking at the floor after she spoke.

"I'm sorry, I really wish you didn't get treated like that. The offer still stands and it'll always stand, you working with me, remember that." Lapis tried to match the other girls tone to show a bit of support.

"Yeah I know, it's just work." Before Peridot could continue any longer, Lapis wrapped her arms around her and brought their bodies together. Her face was resting on the top of the small blondes shoulder while the blonde kept her face along her collar bone. After being outside for so long she craved the heat radiating off the girl.

"Would you be alright with going to bed with me now? We can continue talking for a bit." Lapis asked with her hands brushing the mound of hair on the other girls head. It was soft and easily fell between her fingers with each brush. Amounting to more and more of a grasp on her head.

"Fine…" Peridot seemed a little bit stubborn about going to bed early but she still did and Lapis treasured that. The blonde was probably just thinking about all the work that she had to still finish up but Lapis still came first.

Lapis found many things important for someone she loved. One being that they would be there for her. They didn't need to fully understand her but just even an attempt to try was necessary.

Unraveling her arms from the mesh of hair and clothes she began to stand up. The blondes attempt to stand was a bit comical as she placed her laptop down and had to shuffle her way forward before pushing off the couch to lift herself.

"Tiny legs don't reach the floor well huh?" Lapis teased already making her way to the staircase.

"I was pushed back is all, anyways I'm not a freaking giant like you," Peridot seemed unable to make a decent come back and Lapis was alright with that. They each had their own rhythm going up the stairs, lapis had one that took two steps with a brief pause before two more. Meanwhile the blonde held a constant step after step rhythm.

Taking a bit of a running start she hopped face first onto the bed, unlike usual her pants weren't bunching up and giving a bad feel to the bed. Man it'd been forever since she wore a dress and she was loving it. However as she began to roll onto her back she noticed the ribbon on her back getting caught underneath herself. Peridot had turned on the lamp while Lapis was stripping off her top layer of her two piece, leaving just a black bra underneath.

Peridots face still seemed a little bit embaressed to be looking at her girlfriend stripping. Right as the lights came on her face went to the side as if to avoid Lazuli's body.

"So um what's up with the outfit today?" Peridot curiously asked slowly lowering herself into the bed. Turning her face to meet the blonde she saw her at the edge of the bed, seeming scared to try and take up any more of it.

"Just an old dress that sort of came out for today. You know you can look at me right?" Lapis questioned drawing the conversations direction away.

"Well yeah it's just… Nevermind," once again the blonde hid her flustered face away. Slowly Lapis shuffled underneath the blankets.

"Just turn off the lights and get over here." Lapis demands were quickly met with them both covered by blankets and her first actions were grabbing the shorts that always hugged the girls small frame.

"What are you doing?" Peridot demanded as her body was being pulled towards the blue haired girl.

"You will be so much more comfortable sleeping without those," Lapis said managing to slide them out from her knees at last.

"I'm fine…" Peridot said in a low tone with a little bit of concern.

"You're always fine but now you're comfy as well." Lapis slyly said once again pulling her close till her head rested on Lapis' chest. After a few moments Peridot began pushing herself away once more.

"Well your bra isn't comfy," Peridot said trying to get away from her grasp. Her voice sounded as if she was trying to get back at Lapis in some way.

"Eh I can lose it then," Lapis honestly said with a purely genuine tone. A reaction she could hear pretty quickly was swallowing. "We've been together for a bit now, you seriously don't have to be nervous around me."

"I guess that'd work…" Peridot stuttered out of her mouth. Lapis quickly threw off her bra and dragged the blondes' soft hair back to her collar bone.

Silence filled the air as both of them began to settle in and get comfortable. Lapis loved the feeling of Peridots hair fallen atop her skin, like a soft blanket that moved ever so slightly. She also felt her stomach having a slight amount of pressure thanks to the arm draped across it.

"So I'm going to be calling my mother tomorrow morning…" Lapis softly pressed those words into the atmosphere. It felt like they had time to evaporate into the surroundings before any response was made.

"Alright, how about I sit near while you do that?" Peridot asked in a low voice as if trying to comfort her even before hand, it was working.

"Sure, thank you," Lapis happily said while Peridot began drawing herself up a little bit. "For now though I'd rather do something else than think of that though." Lapis said slowly maneuvering her hands across the blondes back till it reached her hips.

"Alright, I wanted to try initiating things because you always do and today was a long day for you as well." Peridot admitted being quite straight forward about the whole thing, which embarrassed Lapis a little bit. This response shocked Lapis on many different levels with how nervous the girl usually was with these types of things.

Slowly the blondes' body came forward with brief contact of their noses as if to signify where each of their bodies were. Then came the press of their lips, Lapis felt her lips press down slightly but more so felt the other girls soft lips. It's like they craved to be pushed down with how soft it came, like a desire to continue slowly opening their mouths.

Lapis felt Peridots tongue circle around her lips lightly caressing them before they parted once more. It was abrupt and quickly Peridot was sitting on Lapis' legs not moving, everything was quiet without a gentle exit.

"Hey Lapis… Why do your lips taste kind of weird…?" Peridots voice was low and certainly had an edge to it. _Do I explain it now? That'd clearly ruin the moment…_

"It has to do with what happened tonight, it would be best if I told you tomorrow…" Lapis slowly said. Peridot was still unmoving and thanks to the darkness she could only imagine her face being irritated. _She doesn't know what happened yet so there's no way she would be irritated…_

"Alright… So it's not like you even put on Chap Stick or something?" Peridot asked, clearly not letting go of the difference.

"Well it's Chap Stick I got forced on me…" Lapis brought her arm up to try and rub it out of her lips. It felt like each moment Peridot was getting closer to understanding and it felt like Peridot didn't want to understand any longer as she came down.

Peridot brushed Lapis arm away lightly with her hand before forcing a kiss onto her with a lot of power. No gentle caress, just a penetrating tongue as if to claim her as her own.

They continued the night as if the conversation didn't happen, enjoying each other's caress while Peridot took control over everything. It was different, it was unique the way the girl moved, with lack of confidence but continuing regardless. It held a cute charm to follow through each of their moments together.

 _A different dream than usual_

 _Glazed over eyes staring at her own bloody hands_

 _Like a faded memory the room slowly appeared around her_

 _A subtle warmth around her shoulders persisting as she took her first step_

 _No noises came from her steps while outside the dark wooden door was stomping_

 _Opening the door and everything had changed_

 _The fire vanished with the light and all that could be seen from the door way was a woman on a chair_

 _Crying, as if each tear that dropped sent spikes of pain through the girl_

 _Eyes looking up from clean hands changed from tears to deep crevices showing anger around her eyes_

 _Turning around the room was only shadows now with nowhere to run as the other woman came at her_

 _Burning hands ran along her shoulders and pushed with anger in each shove ran a lot more vivid than the rest of her emotions till her world collapsed into the shadows_

Opening her eyes she saw the small blonde on top of her with a worried face and the lamp burning alongside them. Hands were harshly grabbing her shoulders to slightly loosen once Lapis looked down at them.

"Lapis! I've been trying to wake you up for a bit now," Peridots voice was clearly shaking as she sat there. "You just started to shake a little bit and then you started to cry and I just didn't know what to do," bringing her hand up she noticed the stray drops flooding her cheeks. She noticed her own shaking breaths as she began wrapping her arms around the other girls back.

Softly pulling in, her hands shook with her grasp as they fell together. Her voice was too weak to form coherent words, she took note of that as she shook with each breath.

"I'm sorry," Lapis huffed out hoping that it made any sense to the other girls' ears.

"Lapis, you don't need to be sorry, you're fine and none of this is your fault." Peridot said wrapping them even tighter together. She felt a soft grasp on the back of her head reeling in plenty of hair for a good grip. Pressing into the blondes' neck she rested drawing them together, each shake she pushed out of her body was caught with arms compressing around her.

Together they laid there for close to an hour with gentle words smothering the air as Lapis tried to get a hold of herself. Blankets wrapped around them and eventually the lamp turning off as well to try and just relish in the feeling of each other.

"Thank you Peridot, I think I'm alright now…" Lapis said trying to raise herself from bed. Not completely aware of the time but also not willing to go back to sleep.

"Do you want me to do anything like make tea or something?" Peridot asked as the voice echoed through the room. Inhaling a deep breath to try and settle down all her shakes she turned to respond.

"No thanks, I don't think you even know how to make tea." Lapis cockily said with a wink. Her chest felt hollow but she began taking steps down the stairs after throwing on some clothes.

"Okay I've never made tea before but I can try," Peridot said not even realizing how easy it truly was.

"All you really do is boil water and pour it in a cup," Lapis said before she raced down the stairs. Briefly looking down at her phone she noticed it was six and the sun was just beginning to peer across the land. She needed to do something, those dreams needed to stop. _Tea then a shower and then I'll make the call,_ Lapis decided for herself.

Soon enough a tumbling noise from upstairs could be heard quickly followed by a rush of footsteps heading downstairs. Ignoring it slightly she began heating the kettle up and pulling out a nearly empty box of tea packs.

"Do you want any?" Lapis asked, still not turning around to face the other girl. Days like these bled through her emotions for the whole day. Each movement had a dreg of energy drained as if her dreary eyes held her whole body.

"Tea isn't really my cup of tea," Peridot said back and Lapis could tell that the blonde had a smirk on her face from that comment, Lapis just responded with an exhale of breath. Peridot was obviously just trying to tend to Lapis, she appreciated that and it was helping. Regardless of her shallow chest she wasn't incessantly shaking anymore.

"Yeah I know," Lapis gave in turning around and looking at the girl anxiously pressing her fingers together as if wanting to ask something. Lapis had a feeling she knew what the other girl had wanted to know. Now didn't exactly feel like the best time for that however, her hollow chest spiked with fear of an uncaring response.

"Hey Lapis, can I ask," Peridots words were coming and Lapis didn't want to push off the answer any longer. "What happened in your dream?" Peridot asked and Lapis breath hitched with the question before realizing it wasn't what she thought.

"Oh yeah…" Lapis responded feeling a mixture of surprised and dead on the inside. "I don't really remember that much, especially it being an hour since or so." Taking in a breath she began to drag up the blurry thoughts.

"I know it's sensitive and such but if I wait too long you won't remember." Peridot subtly said while her face was quite down cast as if to gaze at her own feet.

"Well… I remember seeing my mom, she was crying and then I think she started to try and attack me. Also I had blood on my hands. It got dark and I think I felt your arms on my shoulders," Lapis said accompanied by a sharp whistle in the back ground. Her eyes didn't lift to the noise, the only thing that was in front of them were the memories of orange eyes and bloody hands.

"I'm sorry," Peridot said quickly turning down the heat on the stove and wrapping Lapis into a hug. In her dream those same hands were what pushed her against the wall, they terrified her there but were attempting to be comfort now. Lapis mind felt hollow as she gave Peridot a light hug back before letting go and then leaving her side to pour the water in her cup.

"I mean that is why we're going to visit her right?" Lapis faintly said back trying to calm her breath once again.  
"Yeah we're going to fix this Lazuli, I promise." That was something more than anything anyone has ever said to her. It had always been help ease it or try and make it happen less often, never has someone offered to get rid of her problem.

"Well…" She half wanted to reject it but most of her was lost in the thought of freedom. How someone that barely even knew the issues could promise something so sweet. "Thanks…" Lapis let out taking a few sips from her sweet tea.

"Want to go watch an episode of something?" Peridot asked drawing her body away from the kitchen.

"Sadly I actually am going to need to take a shower soon and then call her. Well I mean you could join me for the shower," Lapis said winking at the girl. The wink felt a little draining to do but for the most part it actually felt like she was pulling herself together.

"I don't really need to take a shower though…" Peridot said sounding a little bit flustered. Taking a small sip she looked at the girl looking back at her slightly wide eyed.

"Well it wouldn't just be to get clean," Lapis winked and that brought the blondes face into a shade of red. Taking another sip she accidently took too large of one burning her tongue slightly, taking a bit of effort not to ruin their moment.

"I see…" Her voice was low as if just hovering above their feet. "Would Pearl walk back in on us or something?" Peridot curiously asked.

"She won't be coming back, I think she's back to living with Amethyst." Lapis said unsure and not wanting to reveal the whole story.

"Huh really?"

"Anyways walk in on us? We'd be in the shower and if she saw us walking out of the shower it wouldn't matter either." Lapis responded with her words flowing quite quickly together.

"I guess that's true…"

"So what is it, want to or not?" Lapis asked, placing her cup down for added effect. The clash of the cup on counter seemed to shock the other girls' face, quickly drawn up as they stared at each other. She wanted to be overly flirtatious but her energy wasn't in it.

"Very well, and while we're washing up you can tell me about yesterday," Peridot answered walking a few steps forward. The distance between them didn't seem like enough anymore.

"About that…" Lapis began to think, if she disappointed her while they showered it could be quite awful and it'd probably be best to tell her beforehand. "I should probably tell you before our shower…" Lapis sullenly said.

"And why is that?" Peridot asked crossing her arms with her eyebrows slightly furrowed. Biting her lip slightly she thought of all the possible ways to explain it.

"Just in my head alright?" Lapis didn't know how to word her insecurities, she ended up just showcasing them in her words. In her voice that showcased concern without her wanting them to in the end.

"Okay, okay…" Peridot said back slightly on guard after her edged words

"So the plan was to bail on Steven and Leave him alone with Connie, Pearl seemed to have different plans. Pretty much she planned out that whole day to include herself and me along with them. First we ate at a restraunt then went to the beach and danced."

"You danced with her?" Peridots words were slow like she was calculating to herself how bad the day was.

"Yeah I didn't want to ruin the mood… and well after that we left them for the day and she brought me over to the side of the mountain…" Lapis was slowing down as she dreaded sharing this part, she just wanted to avoid it. "Well there she kissed me and sort of confessed to me," Lapis let out scrunching her eyes as she slowly released them to look at Peridot.


	24. The First Time

A/N God this chapter was weird to write and think of it from Peri's point of view, hope you enjoy of it though.

Peridots eyes were wide with the news and her hands balled with tiny rattles as if she was squeezing the very life out of her palms. Her breath had a halt but soon enough was back to normal, her back didn't move with the breaths just remained stiffly straight up. Her face unmoving till the storm of thoughts seemed to be processed.

"She kissed you?" Peridot asked and Lapis pleaded to the uncaring sky over head that she wouldn't say anything dumb.

"Yeah… I didn't mean to let it happen, I'm so-"

"Let it happen?" Peridot questioned once more. Like the gears in her head were turning and creating a whirling storm of possibilities.

"Alright so I didn't let it happen but, she forced herself on me," Lapis let out, feeling shadows engulfing her thoughts.

"You have nothing to be sorry for there," her voice was low as if caught on something in her mind.

"Well I am it shouldn't have happened," it was as if she was pleading with a stone statue. Peridots voice wasn't bearing any emotion with each of her responses and that's what scared her the most.

"Was that why your lips tasted weird…" It was less of a question and more of a demand.

"Yeah, so I'm sorry that happened and we won't be seeing Pearl for a while… I kind of told her not to come around anymore," those last words felt more like a sacrifice to appease the storms in Peridots eyes.

"Oh okay…" Peridot had finally lowered her face. The creak of the wooden flooring never seemed to be quite as noisy as Lapis shifted her weight from her front foot to the back.

"Do you accept my apologies?" Lapis asked concerned about whether the girl did or didn't. Maybe she wouldn't even tell the truth if she didn't.

"Regarding what?" Peridot asked tilting her head, a soft voice that craved something…

"I'm sorry about Pearl kissing me," Lapis finished with a long exhale.

 _"_ Then I don't accept your apology," Peridot said turning on her heel and beginning to walk away. Distance growing along with Lapis hollow veins desiring for something more fulfilling than nothingness to flow through them.

"Why not!" Lapis yelled after her, throwing her arms along her side. _It was out of my control and she seemed to get that but why!_

"You don't need to apologize about that." Peridot said but she wasn't turning back either. The blondes' hand held a small light she was tapping, _her phone_.

"Alright well you still seem upset about it, I just want to fix it." Lapis admitted closing the distance a few feet.

"Upset about my girlfriend going on a whole double date with different girl and then proceeding to let her kiss her… No reason to be upset right?" Her voice was different it seemed a little bit chopped up as her head turned. Soon enough they were looking at each other and it wasn't rage but a tear that ran down her face.

"What should I have done?" Surrender was the only option Lapis felt.

"I don't know maybe text me so I could show up, it seems pretty obvious to me that you knew what she was doing." Lapis was a little caught off guard by the last snippet.

"I really didn't know…" Lapis lowered her head.

"Bull shit Lazuli, everyone knows Pearl has a crush on you," Peridots tears were falling a little bit faster and were the opposite of her climbing voice. The statue was piercing with each heated breath being yelled out.

"Well I thought she still liked Amethyst…"

"Sure you did…" Peridot said as she brushed past Lapis with a harsh shoulder bump. Lapis wished it knocked her over but Peridots shoulders only hit the side of her arm.

"I really did…" Lapis didn't have the energy to face Peridot.

"Yeah like when she blushed when they asked if you two were together," Peridots words were beginning to form into grumbles and harder to understand.

"Alright, I may have had a clue, but I only care for you, otherwise wouldn't I have kept this from you?" Lapis began reasoning with a raised voice.

"Yeah like how you kept your nightmare a secret from me and how you also paraded around Pearl practically naked for god knows how long!" Peridot was beginning to envelope Lapis voice as reasoning was losing to feeling.

Lapis was terrified she hadn't seen Peridot like this before but her accusations only irritated her. Taking in a breath, the attempt to keep her head chill was all for naught.

"Peridot you know that was an accident as well!"

"Seems like you have a lot of accidents regarding Pearl…" with that Peridot was beginning to put on her shoes. Lapis blew air out of her mouth as she began shaking her head. She was starting to see Peridots side and fuming at it.

"I'm just trying to help you see good in the person that has been nice to me and been one of the few people to actually help me." Lapis words showed her irritation as she stood there with her arms crossed.

"She was only kind to you because she wanted to get with you!"

"Sorry to burst your bubble but kind people do exist and she is one of them!" They were now matching blow for blow.

"She is not," Peridot said as she began walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Lapis demanded taking a few steps after the blonde girl.

"To Amethysts house," Peridots voice was low and that gave Lapis an odd suspicion that would nag at her the rest of the night.

"No don't go." Lapis let out and the distance between them remained to only a mere few feet now. _You just want to get back at me don't you…?_

"Lapis I want to get a breath of fresh air instead of fighting with you all day." Peridot declared with a heavy face, each expression had the subtle lines of anger.

"Then go to Stevens, not Amethysts." Lapis was taking few steps forward until the blonde was within her arms reach.

"No, I already asked Amethyst if I could come over. Why does it matter where?" Peridot asked her voice had come down quite a bit but Lapis didn't trust it.

"You're just trying to get back at me," Lapis declared as she started invading those few feet of distance.

"Get back at you?" Peridot questioned seeming actually confused on the whole matter. Her head had turned and her voice had altered slightly but Lapis knew that she understood.

"Yeah, Amethyst likes you and you're just trying to visit her out of spite for me."

"Do you even hear yourself?" Peridot turned and was no longer facing the door but looking up towards Lapis as they stared each other down.

"You know I'm right, she's liked you for a long time."

"Even if she has, she hasn't tried anything unlike Pearl and I'm just going out because I'm tired of fighting." Peridots eyes still had tears along them, but it felt like there weren't any more new streams.

"Don't go to Amethyst's," Lapis said in a stern voice reaching over and grabbing Peridots arm. The blonde looked at Lapis with a confused face before she slowly shook her head.

"I'll see you tonight Lapis. Bye." With that Peridot tried to relinquish herself from Lapis with a small push before exiting the house. Lapis sat there her mind traveling a mile a minute on what her girlfriend would do today.

Seconds travel by with the only accompanying noise the few streaks of wind in the air outside. Turning around and heading toward the shower, Lapis hit several walls on the way with light punches, feeling her knuckles hurt. It wasn't long before the shower was on and steam began engulfing the room.

 _How could she just leave like that!_ Stripping off her few layers of clothes she began to dip her body into the burning water. _God dammit, I shouldn't have told her about the kiss. Maybe then she'd be pissed off but wouldn't have actually left._

 _Yeah then we would have been able to have a shower together…_ Lapis wasn't exactly sure why she got so irritated over it and wanted to clear that up, but the first thing she needed to think of would be how to get her back.

Slowly lathering her hair in soap she closed her eyes and just let the sweet scent permeate her nose. She had gotten a soap that was supposed to be of an arrangement of flowers, but it more so just smelled of sweetness than anything organic. Before long she gave in and sat down on the floor letting the water run over her. Keeping her back straight with the threat of the bathtub facet hitting her back if she didn't.

 _I could make the call to my mom… that'd bring her back, she said she'd be here for me, for that…_ Thinking back and having a hard time remembering if she even did enter the number in her phone, she was pretty sure but if not the paper was on her nightstand.

After a good chunk of time and her fingers reminding her more so of raisins then actual body parts she decided she could leave. The mirror in the bathroom couldn't show any reflection with the solid mesh of cloud still left on it.

Opening up her phone she noticed that there was actually still a message that she hadn't opened yet, Pearl…

"I'm really sorry for even asking that, I'm still going to try and get Sadie that spot but remember Lapis I'm here for you. Bye." This message made Lapis even more regretful of the conversation, Lapis was sorry that Pearl had to be put into a mess she couldn't get anything from. Amethyst didn't care for her the same way and neither did Lapis.

Rolling through her phone she eventually got to the blondes number and began to write her message.

"Hey come home." Right as she put her phone down to get dressed her phone already beeped with a response.

"No I just got here." Thinking to herself she judged the morals of what she had planned.

"I just called my mom." She responded a bit scared of the lie she just told herself. This response wasn't instant and in fact gave her time to put on all her clothes before her phone sounded again.

"I'm on my way." The texts didn't have many emotions in them but at least she was coming home and away from Amethyst. _Now I should probably actually call her…_ Lapis thought to herself before running through her contacts and not seeing her.

Quickly opening the bathroom she sped upstairs to look at her night stand. It was void of a small note and instead held nothingness much like things around it. Walking over to her desk and once again nothing, before long she had searched all around her room. _Maybe downstairs by the TV or something…_

Pushing off the ground she ran downstairs and once again the floor was clear of any debris just like the counters aside from a few stray plates here and there. After a brief search of downstairs she once again headed to her room for a double check.

Along the floor was her pair of pants from yesterday that she only got to wear from the start of the day. Picking them up her finally unraveled a small note from them and quickly entered them into her phone. Checking in on the time and she noticed that she had actually spent too much time searching for the note and that Peridot could be home any moment now…

Regretting the white lie a bit much now she walked downstairs and decided to wait on the couch. The phantom could see what it's like to have someone there first for once, Lapis decided. Staring down at her phone thinking of many names for the contact but only one seemed to fit for the time, Regret.

 _What do I do now…?_ Lapis laid with her head watching the lines along the ceiling debating how the day had gone. Soon enough the door opened and a low sounding shuffle slowly came over to the couch. A face that held emotions she wasn't quite sure she'd seen on her.

The blondes face didn't look like a regular sad but more so of pity than anything else. Her head was low and her shoulders were condensed as if she was paying for something she'd done.

"Are you alright Lapis?" Peridot asked in an emotionless voice as the stood at the foot of the couch. _What's wrong with her? Is she okay?_

 _I fucked up, I fucked up… What did she do while she was gone? She couldn't have even been there very long… She came back for me, be grateful…_

"Well?" The silence seemed to bother Peridot as she asked once again trying to confirm her girlfriends' emotions. _She can't know that I didn't call her yet._

 _"_ Yeah… So you'll be free next weekend right?" Lapis said in a low tone lowering her head in an attempt to conceal her mask. A mask of her face that a day ago could have been considered clean, _how have I messed things up so badly?_

"I think so, how did the call go?" Peridot began sitting on the end of the couch, like they had switch spots.

"Alright, it wasn't too bad. I do want to talk to you though," after she let out those words Peridot had a huge sigh relinquished. Lapis couldn't help but shake internally at that sigh, fear of if today was irreversible.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry, for everything. I really want to make it up to you as well. I'm sorry for not messaging you, I know I really should have. I'm sorry for not stopping it and I really do promise you're the only one I love Peridot…" Looking up from her lap to Peridot she noticed wide eyes like she was paralyzed. "Peridot?"

"Lapis… I love you too…" Peridot let out still looking as if she was petrified, suddenly Lapis realized why. That was the first time that they had declared that to each other, first time they had even used that word at each other. Lapis sat up fully and brought the blonde in for a hug, a little bit shy they both hugged each other. "I'm sorry for being so dramatic, I just… I haven't been with anyone before and I honestly didn't know how to feel when you said she kissed you."

"You were right though, you should have been irritated. I'm sorry." Peridot did a quick shake of her head before she started talking again.

"You shouldn't have to be sorry about the kiss, the date yeah… but still." Soft hand rubbing along her back enjoying the friendly caress.

"I want to make it up to you, what do you want for dinner?" Lapis asked as they separated with a small smile.

"How about spaghetti, something simple." Looking at the blonde and she noticed a small smile, her head hurt slightly. It was probably all the stress of the day but she was just glad that she seemed to derail the train on their argument.

"Sure, I'll go shopping and can start it when I get back."

"You should stay home for a little bit, tell me about what happened on the call so I can mentally prepare to meet your mom as well." Peridot said causing Lapis to bite her lip at the thought of more lies.

"Alright… Well it was pretty short, she kind of had to go do something. It's like her to try and get away from talking to me but yeah next week she'd like to meet up for lunch." Lapis didn't know if any of her claims were true, years of separation would be different.

"Oh alright… does she know that I'm coming as well?" Peridot asked her hand resting on Lazuli's shoulder. It was comforting even though she was lying through her teeth.

"No I'll call her again tomorrow." Lapis finished off those words and wanting to just end the conversation.

"Alright. Well uh I should probably get to work unless you wanted to do something?" _What does she mean by that?_ Lapis wore a confused face and Peridot more so just kept hers embarrassed, going a slight shade of red.

"Like what?" Lapis confusedly asked.

"Like take… Never mind."

"Well I should probably get the groceries, it's been nice to have you home." Lapis got up and slipped on some shoes before heading to the door. Looking back on her little phantom with a small smile, what she could muster. "See you in a bit I'm going to get a few other groceries while I'm out as well."

"Alright bye Lapis."

Once outside Lapis noticed that the sun was still high in the sky and that the time was barely even the afternoon.

Walking around, she spent a bit of time at a sandwich shop getting some food in her stomach before she even went shopping. She got it loaded with all the vegetables that she could and only a few pieces of pastrami and ham.

After that it was quickly to the store filling a small cart to the brim. As she lifted the groceries onto a conveyer belt she realized the trouble she'd go through bringing all them home. That store trip ended up taking over an hour making her adventure that much longer.

Bunching up the bags along her arms she attempted to leave the store. Feeling the lines being dug into her skin with each step and it only getting increasingly worse. By the time she had gotten half way home the sky was starting to have a pink glow to it as sunset was drawing near.

She still had one more thing to accomplish though, she put her stuff down alongside her with an empty area around her. It felt like a ghost town when you were alongside the beach and no one was there. Pulling out her phone and scrolling on down till she noticed her mother's number.

It rung a few times but soon enough it stopped with a voice familiar on the other line.

"Hello?" The voice sounded like a normal human being not one that lost their composure years ago.

"Hey…" Lapis responded not really knowing where to go from there.

"Who is this?" The voice questioned, it sounded as if it genuinely didn't know the person on the other line. Lapis hated that, it felt like she was trying to ignore her, but pressing on she answered.

"It's Lapis mom…" Her voice was softer than the breeze around her and even if someone was close by, they probably wouldn't hear her.

"Oh goodness dear, I've missed you so much are you alright?" Those words flowed quickly with only a moment's hesitation before she spoke. Lapis' guard was blown away by the words she was hearing and unable to respond drawing out time on the call. "Lapis?"

"Yeah, I'm okay…" Lapis mumbled out taking a few steps back looking for somewhere to sit.

"I'm glad to hear, I'm so glad you're finally reaching out to me. It's felt like forever since we've talked, what have you been up to." Each of her words were so quickly said, such ease, no pain in her voice. It betrayed every thought Lapis conjured in her head regarding the conversation.

"Well I have my own place and such… I kind of run my own bakery." Lapis was barely able to squeeze out before her mother went on another spree of words.

"Amazing, I have to say I've kinda known these things for a bit now, thanks to Rose keeping in touch with me." Her mother's words were light as if the years had changed them completely. Lapis was changed though and that was for the better, she had to remind herself of that several times.

"Ah… I see," Their conversations dragged on for a while with Lapis still not completely aware on how to respond to these foreign responses from her.

With the sun now painted with a dash of midnight and still a graceful dapple of orange along the horizon she was ready to end the phone call. Her arms were getting a light chill ran along them thanks to the ever so subtle breeze. Peridot would probably also be wondering where she was with how long of a grocery trip this was. Nodding off the few last words her mother said she prepared for the biggest part.

"Hey mom…"

"Yes?" she asked back dragging her s.

"I was… Well first off, I have a girlfriend and we sort of wanted to visit you." Lapis took a few breaths after she finally got those words out. Waiting for a response and trying to get her shoulders a little less stiff thanks to the anticipation.

"Of course! When would you like to come by?"

"This coming weekend?"

"Sure thing! I'll send you my address and I can make dinner for us." Lapis shuttered at the thought of that. Trying to think of several scenarios to fix that, none were right with her so she decided to wait on it.

"Okay… Well I have to go, I guess I'll talk to you later."

"Alright bye, thanks for chattin." With that the phone call was over and Lapis stood up to finish her track home. Her mind felt like it was on high alert trying to think over all the words spilled amongst them, they didn't once talk about their past only others.

Apparently Rose had been clueing her in on just about everything and now Lapis had many unsolved questions. If she'd known she was being spied on would that have changed anything or would she still be where she was.

The road home didn't seem to last long, her mind wasn't present for a single part of it.


	25. Visiting

Soon enough a destination that was over an hour long drive was underway and mostly through. Peridot beside her, they had borrowed the van from Steven thankfully. Lapis was noticing few things the closer they got such as her heart sky rocketing. Death tracing steps back and forth through her head making the road ahead hard to watch. Little bumps in the road caused massive spikes of fear in her as if losing control.

They were losing buildings to greenery and losing people as well. It went from their town of a decent amount of people to the town, overly full of people. Now they were surrounded by farms of corn and out stretched areas of nothingness. More bumps were lifting the van up than before with pot holes left and right, causing a harsher grip on the wheel.

A night of constant sitting up and of dreams that were about to come real. Vivid images of the moon laid in her mind while her eyes felt like lead. Light techno music was being played and at the request of keeping it low it was barely audible in Lapis' current state. A white noise that fell behind her just like the scenery, unnoticed.

"Lapis!" The blonde beside her yelled out causing Lapis to quickly turn and look over before shifting back to the road. Just a quick flash of the green eyes were all her attention was drawn to.

"Yeah, what is it?" Lapis said back in a frantic voice more so than anything else. Both hands on wheel and constantly looking through the rear view mirror as no one else was around them.

"I feel like you haven't been listening to me for miles…" Peridot sullenly said, her voice was low and Lapis sure as hell wasn't going to look over at her once again. "The only thing I feel you hear is when I tell you to turn right or something like that…"

"Sorry, I'm really freaking out right now…" Lapis said trying to showcase her concern in her low voice.

"I know…" Peridot mimed the blue haired girls tone as well. "Well it's going to be a right at the end of this road then we'll be there…" Like that the words dropped and the road stopped with only the path on the right to continue. Small bumps as rocks were trampled by the vans wheels.

At the end of the road was an older looking house, it looked as if the building was half shed and half house. One story tall without a garage but just a small white car sitting out front. The windows along the front of the house all had their blinds closed and the gravel road went all the way to the door step.

Running along the other small car they parked and Lapis was full on heaving in air at the sight of the dark brown door. It matched the trees except it felt like it had a dash of burgundy running along the grains of it. One side of the car opened up and that was the passenger.

Lapis was heavily breathing and her hands were still gripped on the hard plastic around the steering wheel. It was as if leaving a mark so deep that eventually the plastic would engulf her hands and keep her there. A shockwave ran through the car as Peridot closed her side, Lapis felt the rigid movement swaying her body ever so slightly.

Closing her eyes and trying to maintain few deep breaths caused her chest to hitch several times a breath. Shadows were crawling along the side of her vision as she tried to open her eyes to focus on the steering wheel but instead just caught the noise of a new person. The door opening and it showing a lanky lady which quickly drew Lapis to close her eyes once more.

 _You only have a few seconds to calm the fuck down come on!_ Dragging her hands off the wheel at last until they could plummet into her hair as if to try and pull every strand out at once. Her hands felt a slight bit of pressure along them as she dragged her eyes up to see her blonde girl worringly watching over her.

Soft hands that ran along her arm released the tension in her shoulders and the soft eyes showing concern helped halt her scattered breath. She was still mentally rattled but she needed to stand, she needed to move and not go into a full blown panic attack. _I can't show weakness, she cannot know how much of my life has been ruined by her._

Her mother wasn't getting closer but instead just waiting outside the door, which gave Lapis some time. Unbuckling her seatbelt she turned to the blonde and wrapped her in a tight hug. Every instinct of hers told her to squeeze as hard as she could but her mind could only think of how scared she was to crush the tiny girl.

"It's alright," small words that found their way into Lapis' ears and she didn't know how long they were hugging each other but eventually they let go. Her breath was a little steadier and her heavy eyes weren't being engulfed by the ever hungry shadows.

"Thanks you," Lapis softly said as she closed the door behind her. Together they approached the front door holding hands, a snug tight grip. The girl they were approaching was slender and wore a long dark blue dress with a black thin jacket that seemed to just cling to her arms. The lines in her eyes were new but the rest seemed oddly familiar such as the jet black hair.

Age hadn't been bad on her with the glisten of her dark silky hair still evident. Few lines along her face bothered Lapis though, they reminded her of angry times. Rare gusts of wind would fling around the tail end bottom of her dress which reminded Lapis of what she was wearing.

Looking beside her Peridot was actually wearing slacks and a button up white shirt, _when did she even get those…_ It looked nice and it was probably thanks to how freaked out she was about meeting her as well. _She must be uncomfortable, I've never heard her mention wearing nice clothes…_

Lapis wasn't wearing too nice of clothes but just her blue dress, well at least she didn't see it as nice but more so fitting. The last outfit that was ruined by the woman in front of her, the woman that was waving frantically with a huge smile pressed along her face.

"Welcome, welcome I'm so glad to have you two, you both look lovely," The woman began to open up the door. As they closed the distance she began holding out her hand towards Peridot. "I'm Acai Lazuli it's truly a pleasure to meet you," Peridot let go to grab Acai's hand and ended up being dragged into a hug.

"Nice to meet you… I'm Peridot…" She was clearly rattled and Lapis' eyes were wide in concern over her girlfriend being dragged away. Also concerned in the giant lie that placed itself in front of them.

"Lapis, I'm so glad to see you," quickly Lapis was engulfed in the group hug causing spikes of anxiety to her mind. Quickly pushing herself to separate them to just see a smile and a hand welcoming them inside.

A well-kept place with the living room on the right, a dark grey engulfed the room, Lapis was glad that it wasn't the same house she lived in but the same furniture gave her chills. Grey carpets that seemed to run up the long couch facing the television. They kept walking though and soon enough a kitchen was on display.

Completely clean, aside from the few dishes in a drying rack. The pure white plastic floors along with white cupboards had all her childhood creations on display. Little creatures she made in art in Elementary School littered left and right. Her first thanks giving card board creation, no idea how that survived but she attempted to brush it off.

"So…" Lapis let out as she stood there with her arms along her side and one rubbing the side of her head. _It'll be okay just don't think of then, just now._

"I have macaroni in the oven, I know how you love that," Acai said stepping away from them to head towards the oven. "Seven more minutes."

"Alright…" Lapis responded looking over at Peridot and she saw something different… A smile, an actual smile was on her girlfriends face and she actually didn't look all that nervous.

"How about some tea?" Acai asked already pacing over to the kettle to turn it on.

"I'll just have some water…" Lapis said drawing over to one of the chairs at the table. Old grainy wood chairs that had pillars along the back you could easily feel pressing into you.

"And you Peridot?"

"Can I have some water as well?"

"Of course," Acai responded and they were promptly brought water. Lapis watched the whole process of it coming from the sink and the two ice cubes that she put in each of them. The water that flung into the air still stained her mind but she cautiously drank the water.

It tasted like water, nothing really stuck out just regular water to her. Her mind was still on full alert, this whole thing felt fishy like a dream.

"So how did you two meet, I never did end up hearing about that. I didn't even know you liked women dear," Acai's voice was genuine and Lapis just didn't seem to understand why.

"Well uh Steven introduced us, I'm sure you remember him…" Lapis said back quite hesitant to even reveal anything more. "I needed a roommate and so did she, so she ended up moving in and then from there it's just kind of is…" Lapis said nervously grabbing her arm and having her eyes circle around the room in search for a distraction.

Little wooden decorations from little bird homes to sculptures littered the edges of where the floor met the wall. Dark colors usually with tones that could easily hide themselves unless the eye was specifically looking for them. A beep from the kitchen drew the conversation away as her mother began to stand and bring out a large pan of homemade macaroni.

Plates and everything else was already set along the table with a dull red clothe laid over the table. The smell of cheddar cheese was wafted into the air from the new center piece, it smelt good.

"Here, feel free to dish yourselves up," Acai said cradling her face between her two hands. Her eyes were tearing into Lapis' peripherals causing a bit of discomfort.

"I wanted to wash my hands real quick, where's the restroom?" Lapis asked still keeping her eyes along the beige walls with plenty of paintings of nature.

"Oh if you just walk a bit further then first door on your left," Lapis got the gist and quickly excused herself. Not giving a glance to Peridot but hoping that she at least looked slightly bothered, this was nothing of what she had mentions. "So Peridot what do you do for a living."

"Oh I help," Lapis had stopped paying attention to the conversation and began just focusing on her frantic vision. Soon enough the bathroom was within sight, it wasn't nearly as pretty as the rest of the house. It held several stains along the floor and walls and the soap had residue underneath it.

With a quick crank of the nozzle cold water poured out and was quickly lapped up by Lazuli's hands and thrown on her face. A deep red towel soon enough replaced the water and began taking the wetness away from her. _One more deep breath things are alright… Things are better than alright…_

"Yeah I was really surprised when Lapis called me, late that night but definitely was a pleasant surprise." Lapis heard those words coming through loud and clear through her mother's vibrant voice.

She couldn't hear Peridot's response, her voice was only loud enough to signal something was said but not loud enough to process with the distance.

"Well I mean it wasn't too late when she called but by the end of it, it was definitely dark outside." Lapis began to force herself out of the bathroom once again into the other room. Hands balled at her side, squeezing them as if that would stop the heavy beating she felt in each step. "Welcome back dearie, ready for some food?" Her words left as if the previous conversation was nothing at all and all that was important was that she was back in the room.

"Yeah Lapis have some food," Peridots voice held an edge to it and that freaked out Lapis as well. As if the entire room was out to get her just within one small break.

"I'm not too hungry," if she was hungry all her bound up nerves and fear definitely were coming first and pushing the thought away of human needs.

"Just try a bite at least," Acai said as she dug a huge spoon full up and dropped it along Lapis' plate. Grabbing her spoon that was left alongside each of the plates she began pushing it around as if she was still a five year old patiently waiting for deserts.

"Lapis it really is good, I see where you got your ability to cook from," Peridot said and looking over she saw the blonde taking a large bite of food. She never really had shown that great of table side manners.

"Oh no, no not at all. I never did cook for Lapis, if anyone did that would have been her father…" The roomed filled with silence at the comment and Lapis indulged in it with only staring at her plate of food and not looking up to see any of their faces. Definitely cheese was also shredded along the top as it showed several strands connecting the macaroni pieces.

"Well, it is um good," Peridot awkwardly said, willingly breaking the silence. Looking over with a half glare half confused face to the blonde to only receive wide eyes back.

"You said Lapis cooks for you?" Acai questioned back and it was in that instance that Lapis saw it. She saw those fucking eyes in a curious half glare for a split second, Peridot may not have noticed but she did. Grinding her teeth together slightly she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand straight up. Soon enough though, nothing came from it, no attack, and no verbal assault. Just a happy conversation between two people.

"She really makes the most wonderful meals, well I mean Rose does as well but hers are good. Also really healthy, she ends up making stir fries the most." Peridot excitingly said as if she was a little kid and this brought a smile to Lazuli's lips. Lapis felt the dents in her own smile, she was tainted, she was no longer pure and that smile only was the edges of her lips.

"Well maybe next time I can come over instead and you can cook for me," Acai happily said drawing Lapis eyes back to look at her mother.

"That sounds fun right Lazuli?" Both eyes were on her, stress…

"Aw you call her Lazuli?" Acai's face lit up at the sound of that.

"Well yeah… I mean sometimes. Lazuli is an odd last name though," Peridot said clearly slightly embarrassed by her pet name for Lapis.

"Yeah, she was named after her grandmother on her father's side, she really does bare a lot of resemblance to her." Bittersweet words that sounded as if they had been searching for a kind ear to listen for years. Lapis wasn't even exactly sure where her name came from.

"Really?" Peridot asked, Lapis wanted to know these answers as well but courage wasn't on her side just like most things today.

"Oh yes, when they were born they both had the same eyes and everything. A nice head of hair, she really was a beautiful baby. It's a shame her grandmother had passed away before she was born though, through a heart attack." Once again that god awful silence began.

"I'm sorry…" Peridot said in a low voice.

"It's alright, she was a nice person but her husband was abusive, growing up as well. Okay enough sad things, are you two happy living together?" Acai asked curiously.

"Yes." Lapis responded to which both people had a sharp inhale as if to show that the lack of an answer was a little bothersome.

"It's been great, she's a lot better at taking care of it then me though. She cleans often and really just kind of takes care of me in general, we're happy together." Peridot genuinely said and Lapis looked over, and her eyes wanted to water after hearing that. She was so glad that her girlfriend was happy.

"Lapis are you alright?" Acai seemed to ignore Peridots answer slightly giving full attention to Lapis.

"Yeah I'm fine." Lapis quickly responded once again. Which got a little bit of a stern look from her mother which translated into a worried look from Peridot.

"She's just a little bit nervous is all," Peridot said with her hands raised slight as if to try and calm everyone.

"She was quiet when we were on the phone but not this quiet." Acai said now with more worry in her voice than sternness.

"I think it's because you're not like what she was expecting." Peridot threw that out there and instantly Acai's face shifted over to confusion. Furrowed eyes drawn together with a slightly open mouth.

"What do you mean like she was expecting?" Acai's placement of her elbows on the table became more prominent as she began to hold her hands together. _Expecting, you were awful to me, why are you like this? This is a fucking lie._

"Well…" Before Peridot could awkwardly continue Lapis finally interjected.

"I don't know? mean like you are," Lapis wanted to shout this but instead held it at a dull roar.

"Mean?" Dear I don't understand?" That was the last straw, the concern on her mother's face was a lie and she knew it even if Peridot didn't.

"Yeah, we came here because you still haunt my freaking nightmares!" Lapis said hitting her elbows into the table causing a brief shake to every one's dinner.

"Oh your still having those dreams honey, I'm so sorry." Acai said without changing a beat in her voice.

"Dreams? They are freaking memories of what you used to do to me!" Lapis actually shouted this, pushing the chair away with enough force for it to fall over. All she got in return was a pitiful look from her mother and a slowly shaking head.

"Lapis I never laid a hand on you… Are you really still telling people I did those horrible things to you…" Looking over to Peridot to reaffirm her feelings and she just saw the blondes face, it horrified her. It seemed as if all the words passed around were drawing up confusion.

"Yeah you did! That's why I moved out and I can't believe you're lying about it now." Lapis said eyeing the door her only escape.

"Lapis… the only person that hurt you after your dad passed away was yourself. That's why the only scars people notice are on your wrists and your legs." Lapis wanted to yell, she wanted to screech as loud as she could but instead her breath just shook her body with each attempt to bring life into it.

"No you just didn't leave any scars." Lapis said once more wide eyed with a fury she hadn't held in a while. Like a torch was burning behind her eyelids at the stacks of trauma.

"Lapis calm down, that's in the past we're trying to work past that." Peridot calmly said placing a hand on her elbow. The soft grasp was infuriating that she wasn't taking her side, how dare she not support her side. Drawing her hands away from the soft caress so that she could feel the open air cling to her skin and nothing else.

"I'm done!" With that Lapis began stomping towards the door with only rage fueling each step. _That fucking liar._ She could hear a few words though coming from behind her, not directed at her though.

"It was really her father that was abusive, when he finally died she just couldn't handle it and already had enough proof of child abuse by then. It's really a shame that she seems to think it was me and not her father," Acai said and those words pierced the air. Lapis wanted to turn around and run at the older lady and hit her but instead slammed the door.

Walking by and kicking gravel with each step watching it fling as she approached the van. Pulling away the metal keys from her pocket and jamming them in. By the time she was fully strapped in and had her head on the steering wheel, Peridot was finally leaving the house.

The blonde had Acai following close behind and they were still talking briefly. _Does she look embarrassed by me? I introduce her to my mother and this is how she acts?_ The two by the house gave each other a brief wave before Acai brought her in for a hug once again. Acai followed Peridot as they got closer to the car.

"Honey please contact me again soon, I really do want to talk and be here for you now. I know I was a depressed mess when your dad passed away but I'm better now." Acai said but all Lapis saw was lying straight through her teeth. She saw the shadows that weren't dust but the shape of a human with a variety of house hold things slamming them down.

She saw the red eyes that blared past with a slowly opening mouth of disappointed words. They still stung and they were still there, this woman couldn't fool her. Turning on the car ready to drive until she noticed the passenger seat still void of anything.

Soon enough the door opened and Peridot slowly buckled herself up.

"Are we really leaving so abruptly Lapis?" _Traitorous words,_ Lapis thought and put the car in gear quickly driving away.

"Yeah didn't you hear her? She fucking lied about the whole thing and it's like you were believing her." Lapis wasn't in a good place, her mind wasn't working properly. Shadows were starting to engulf her vision, mixing in with tears and pure anger.

"Lapis… Slow down… You're driving a bit fast," Peridot said those words low as if she was aware of the danger she faced. Lapis gazed down and slowed down the car a bit till it stopped alongside the road, desperate to get ahold of herself.

A light touch was felt going by her hand as if to alert her she wasn't alone. Quickly and angrily she pulled herself away.

"Who do you trust?" Lapis asked wide eyed looking over. Rage was pushing her anxiety away, she didn't feel scared, which felt like she needed to push herself forward with it. Figure out whose side the other girl was on.

"What do you mean?" Peridot questioned, she was obviously bothered from the fact that she looked around.

"Do you think my mom is actually a nice person or do you think that… Thing in there is a lie?" Lapis questioned, being parked she could look straight into her eyes. Green ones that wavered and didn't want to hold direct contact. As if to emphasize that she would be lying.

"Lapis, of course I trust you. That's not something you really lie about… But maybe she has changed," Peridot tried to finish but Lapis wasn't going to allow that.

"She hasn't, I saw with my own eyes she was just waiting. She was going to do something, you didn't eat that much of the food right?" Lapis shot those words out of her mouth quickly, seemed Peridot was taking a moment to process each word and then another to decide what to say.

"Lapis calm down, it's going to be alright. We can discuss this tomorrow, it's just important that you even came here today."

"But… But…" Peridot was right and apparently trying to not start anything. She was actually pretty good at defusing negative tension, at least Lapis'. Taking in a large breath, Lapis tried to calm herself as well.

"How about we sit here for a moment and just listen to music, then when you feel up to it we can go home?" Peridot asked with a small smile.

"Alright…" Lapis agreed shifting on the radio. First was a country song that neither of them cared about and was quickly shifted over to some older rock.

Focusing purely on her breath she looked out the window to the bright blue sky. Her phone had been buzzing constantly with messages but none of those were important. The green eyes staring back and the palm rested on her cheek that was important.

The seat wasn't very comfortable and the speakers made some odd noises due to age occasionally. She didn't have to pay for this vehicle though, so that was nice.

"I think I'm ready to go home now." Lapis said quite genuinely. Looking over a frail smile was all that she was met with.

"Me to."


	26. Step One

A/N Sorry for a short chapter, I'm going to be coming to an ending on the series in three chapters. After that I'll have an epilogue but besides that probably no more updates. So for the last three chapters they'll be quite a bit longer. Also feel free to message me on Tumblr Adojoa is my user.

A few screws fell onto the floor and at last the latch came undone opening to a pure black surrounding as Lapis' eyes began to grow accustomed to the difference. Soon enough stars painted the sky and it was no longer necessary for her to climb around her window to reach the roof.

The last few days had been stressful to say the least and this was one area she could always relax. Seeing the chair still laying along the edge it only took a few moments before she was plummeting down on top of it.

Giving way she felt the cushion press into her body, soon enough Peridot would join. They had some stuff they needed to talk about, according to Peridot. Several days ago that was… Lapis' wasn't even sure whether they were going to discuss whatever was on her blondes' mind and she wasn't sure she wanted to. A serious talk is something that rarely happened between them and it was after Lapis' had calmed down and driven them home from Acai's that she said so.

Rolling around slightly to face the trap door like area she watched teetering the chair forward. Soon enough a patch of blonde hair was poking through the hole with an accompaniment of small grunts trying to pull herself up. _Popcorn would be nice about now._

"Lazuli!" Peridot shouted, turning her head slightly till it hit the chair.

"Yeah?" Lapis asked looking over the blonde. She wore her regular green hoody and pants and her hair had a few patches of lifted hair. She looked like a slight mess and she didn't wear a smile but an irritated frown and all Lapis could do back was smile. _She's so cute._

"That ladder is not very stable for getting up," Peridot taking small steps forward until she finally got to the base of the chair.

"Probably not going to fix that one," Lapis said brushing her hand towards the back of her head. A soft breeze ran along her fingertips till it got lost running past her hair.

"I know… So was this your plan for tonight? Sit up here and look at the sky or something?" Peridot asked as she slowly placed her arms along the spine of the chair.

"I think so," Lapis gladly said hoping that her small blonde would come around the chair and actually sit on her lap.

"Lapis…" Peridot let out and her voice seemed slightly hurt. Something more was along her voice and it caused a chill along Lapis' mind.

"Aren't the stars beautiful tonight Peri?" Lapis let out and soon enough both their gazes were stuck in the fly trap of the sky. The dark hues were meshing with the occasional cloud as if to fade into a deep grey. Only way for the clouds to be noticeable was the lack of white specks painting them.

"Yeah they are." With that Peridot's voice had a sigh along it but before anything could happen Lapis dragged her over into a kiss.

The last things she saw were the waves crashing in the distance and then the green eyes wide open. A small grunt that was soft was also buried in the memory before impact. A soft sin of their lips meeting and a harsh grip of hair keeping them together.

Soon enough Lapis' mind was submerged in the sensation, lips giving in just enough before the unmoving feeling of trying to get closer. A distance that seemed impossible to close when they were already touching. Bringing her hand up from her back she began loosely caressing her finger around Peridots chin before gripping it.

With her thumb resting just below the bottom lip she pressed lightly, Peridot slowly obliged and opened her mouth slightly. Lapis began pushing forward till her tongue went through to the other girls' mouth. A quick feel over her smooth teeth, feeling the ridged canine that she loved so much. Finally reaching the soft spot

As soon as their tongues met Lapis felt her arms give in, soon enough she was attempting to drag Peridot directly on top of her. Crumbling and soon enough Peridots knees rested along the side of Lapis' legs forcing Peridot to look down at Lapis. She craved this sight, the girl on top of her with a faced that pleaded for things to continue on.

As they parted for air Lapis began wrapping her hands lower along the girls' thighs until they reached her bottom. With the rugged pants getting in the way Lapis found her hands sliding underneath them and soon enough under the tighter underwear. Peridot pressed forward this time pushing Lapis back into the chair.

Soft skin was being pressed into as Lapis grabbed her butt and continued kissing her. Dragging her hand out she began tugging along the edges of the over bearing hoody.

"Lapis… On the roof?" Peridot questioned furrowing her brows visibly nervous as she began looking around. Taking the lead, Lapis flung off her shirt to reveal a pitch black bra looking back at Peridot.

"No one can see you, the ledge kind of makes it impossible." Lapis said gazing along the sides before slowly looking back.

"Why not just go inside…? The bed is more comfortable anyways…" As those words left, Lapis had a better idea as she forced another deep kiss along the girl and let her hands spill forward. Seeping underneath the girls hoody she let her hands find the points on the girls' chest. Keeping pressed forward in the kiss she let one of her hands play with the girls' chest as the other one kept her from falling.

The blonde pulled her head back letting out a gasp at the sensation on her chest. With the distance between their lips, Lapis nailed to the tips of her teeth along the girls neck. Giving a soft bite before licking around the area. Her tongue felt as if it was stealing the heat that was lavishing the girls' neck. She felt a harsh grip on her back pulling her forward, as the nails slid along her back.

"Lapis…" Peridots voice was low and breathy as she spoke those words. As if pleading to the night that only the blue haired girl would hear. The slight edge of concern was still apparent and Lapis' wanted to blow that feeling away. Quickly releasing her grip on the girl she began shuffling the shirt off and at last the blonde lifted her arms.

Peridots bra was a dark green. _Fitting,_ Lapis thought as she weaseled her hands underneath and started causing more distorted breaths.

Peridots legs began shifting as if she was trying to muster up any amount of friction she could between her legs. Even if it was using Lazuli's leg in the end, Peridot gripped onto Lapis' chest as well as if unaware of what to do with her body.

A loud ringing drove Peridot to lift her head away, Lapis grabbed on and forced their lips back together. Her shoulders felt a harsh push as she helplessly looked at the blonde furrow her brows in frustration.

"Lapis I need to get that," she said slowly sliding off of Lapis.

"Fine."

Looking on Lapis saw her face turn instantly at the sight of the caller. As the phone began with loud shouting, Peridot began putting her shirt back on.

"I'm so sorry, it won't happen again… Yeah I really thought the client would prefer that… It still works though… Yeah… yeah… Before tomorrow." The conversation flew on while Lapis was left by her lonesome. The chair didn't feel quite as warm as there was no one to block the subtle summer breezes.

Looking on and she noticed something different about the blonde, she wasn't on the verge of tears. She wasn't scrunching her body together in an attempt to hide away from the world. Only thing that was happening seemed to be anger as her responses got slightly louder with each one. Her hand clenched into a ball and her other one attempting to break the phone.

"I get it alright. It'll be done and then like usual I'll patiently wait for my next assignment… No, just outside in the wind…" Lapis noticed those subtle movements of her feet, they weren't light but heavy taps that still weren't producing much noise. "Alright Bye!" and with that Peridot slid her fingers along her phone and was staring at the ground.

"Are you alright?" Lapis asked genuinely concerned. A quick glare back is what she got in return. Each second felt as if a decade was passing, seeming like she wasn't sure how to respond.

"Yeah."

"My offer still stands for you to work with me," Lapis slowly said to which Peridots face formed into a snarl as she hunched her shoulders slightly.

"No, that's not going to happen, Lapis. I'm happy with this job alright." Her voice was a bit more expressive then when she was on the phone.

"Sure…" Lapis said lower in a voice with a small smile.

"What do you mean by that?" Peridot questioned clearly agitated. Lapis didn't really know how to respond, she wanted to joke but it didn't seem like the time.

"You really don't seem that happy…"

"Just because it has bad parts doesn't mean I don't enjoy it."

"That's true, so are you going to come back over here? It's kind of cold without you." Lapis said holding her arms and slightly rubbing them to bring back some heat.

"I'm alright…" _What do you mean, you're alright?_ "Lapis it's probably best we call it a night, apparently I have a lot of work to do."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah although we do need to have a talk." Peridot slowly said.

"Regarding?"

"Your lying." And with that bullet piercing Lapis' thoughts she sat there wondering where the hell it came from.

"What?" Lapis questioned feeling like she was beginning to mirror the girl ahead of her with anger.

"I'm just saying, you've lied about several things recently and it concerns me with other things as well. I don't want to get into it tonight though. I just want to understand some things, so can we just sit down and have a talk tomorrow when I'm done with my work?" Peridot asked, her voice had changed over the course of it though to a calmer one.

"Oh really? Alright well why not talk about it now? Or is it not that important?"

"Lapis, dammit of course it's important but you've already been avoiding having a direct conversation with me for a bit now. So now you will?"

"I haven't been avoiding it." Lapis lied through her teeth, trying grit back the slime she felt welling up in the back of her throat. She only realized how hypocritical she was being after it was already said.

"Why else did you try and do something tonight then? If you wanted to actually have sex then it wouldn't be spontaneous like that. Usually you give some signs of wanting to do things beforehand." Peridot was walking towards the ladder.

"So you're just going to walk away?" Lapis demanded an answer.

"Like I said Lapis, not tonight. I'm not in the best of moods after that call and I want to be calm when we have our talk." With that she started to descend the ladder, it took her awhile to even get herself properly on it.

Staring and unmoving Lapis thoughts went wild and on a rampage of not quite anger and a bit of fear. Thoughts of how she could end up alone again, how she knew she was in the wrong for several things.

Lifting herself up and slowly walking over to her dark shirt laying on the floor she began to watch the waves. Arms sticking out so that her hands can reach the ledge and let her just lean over ever so slightly. Street lamps here and there making the shadows along the streets that much darker. The lights in the sky make the deep ocean that much darker. The joy of their relationship made her fear that much darker.


	27. incorrect

A/N And the finale begins :) Lots of drama and a few horrible steps please enjoy I hope I can give this series the ending it deserves.

"Hey… Yeah I know, I'm sorry alright." Those words were spoken soft and all that Lapis could think was of the sensation of the blankets tucked over her face. Keeping her eyes closed so that she was engulfed in darkness as her brain began functioning.

"We haven't seen each other in months and I was wondering if… Yeah why would that matter? I know mom but..." Dragging the blankets away slightly and looking over to the side of the room was the blonde pacing with tiny steps dragging across.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Diamond…" Those words left her mouth so slowly as if drained of life. The dark room drew out all the lines along Peridot's face as if to exaggerate everything. "Yeah… it won't happen again. Bye." The poor girls elbow came up as she rested her head in the crevice of her arm.

Her body held a small rattle as she stood there facing away. Lapis wanted to drag the blanket back up and pretend not to see anything but she kept watching. Even at the point of the girl turning around with the light crystal eyes gazing at the floor. A slow pander up until they locked eyes and in that instant the puffy red face looked away, spreading her eyes wide.

"You're up?" Her words felt as if slurred out of her mouth purely on instinct. The longer the silence sat between them the harsher her face got with irritation.

"Yeah…" Lapis shyly responded as if each word should be held in her mouth with her breath. They may have slept in the same bed but they didn't touch each other's sides last night, separated by a small line of words.

"Go back to sleep," Peridot firmly said as she approached the bed. Something was off about her, like a lifeless gaze soon reigned in her eyes. That image was slowly being burned into Lazuli's mind, even when she closed her eyes she first saw the silhouette, Soon enough the light blonde hair until it trailed down to the core of her face, seething.

"Was planning on it," Lapis mockingly said back turning herself away. Weight was slightly pushing her up as a crash happened on the other side of the bed. _Is she alright? Who cares…? She'd just think… What would she think about me showing care?_ "Are you alright?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Peridot quickly let out, like a lash on the room. _Of course she wouldn't share anything._

"Alright." With those few last words they both began to fall back into their slumber. Pitch black shadows taking over her mind and Lapis gave in.

It felt as if she was falling from a cliff and as soon as her vision began to focus she noticed she was back in a familiar room.

Looking forward she saw a bitter look on someone she hadn't seen before in her dreams. Such a wretched hatred, she could feel, probably towards her and that was fair.

Like a flickering light, she went from a shadow filled world to a groggy state of barely being awake. Her face could only have a smile aboard it as she realized the end result of that night of sleep, it wasn't a complete nightmare. She didn't die or have anything horrendous happen to her, she just got…

Looking beside her and a once present warmth was gone replaced with the cold sheets forming valleys over themselves. Slowly raising herself she began slowly shuffling some clothes over her head. _Today is the day…_

Soon enough she was running down the stairs staring at the couch that had a small girl resting on it constantly hitting keys. Her gaze up looked so tired, her eyes had black holes underneath drawing most of the attention towards them. Her hair seemed as if it was gelled up in some areas with how much of it was left lifted into the air.

"Morning Lazuli." She said in a dull voice mimicking her appearance, dead.

"Good morning… do you want some eggs for breakfast?" Lapis asked quickly making her way into the kitchen. A short groan escaped the blondes' mouth for no particular reason Lapis could think of.

"Sure… thanks."

Quickly moving over, and cooking it didn't take long as she cracked the egg shells over the side of the pan. Spilling out the core and listening to the soft sizzle was interrupted by Peridots phone screaming at both of them.

 _No not again… this is the second time today then…_ A familiar face was revealed once Peridot answered the call. She looked to be fuming and the shouting on the other line wasn't even fazing her at this point.

"Alright. I got it. Sure thing Mrs. Diamond." Placing her laptop down, she was soon enough pacing back and forth behind the couch. Her feet made soft pats on the floor as if she was trying to carve out the floor in her black socks. "Well maybe I should start working regular eight hour days then huh? Right now I'm on a couple hours of sleep thanks to the project you gave me last night on a personal call."

"Yeah I get it now, I understand. Go ahead and give them the project, that doesn't scare me. I know and you know this as well, that when it comes to the complicated projects that if you gave those to others they'd, and I guarantee this, screw it up. Yet you even get upset at me when I finish things days in advance. I'm fucking done trying to please you!"

"You will not use those words with me." Lapis barely heard shouting across the phone. Looking over and it was clear how upset Peridot was with it seeming like any second she would break her teeth with how hard she was holding her jaw.

"Alright… Well I'm done with my project and just shoot me a text when you have your next task for me, I don't want to talk to you anymore."

The other side of the phone rambled on for a bit, it started with shouting but soon enough faded away until it was silent. Only the noise of the eggs cooking buzzed in the background. "Wow thanks… bye." Peridot said at last slowly shuffling her phone back into her pocket. Halted dead in her tracks she looked up. "Well I think I might be suspended from work…"

"Ah…" Lapis slowly said turning back to work on the eggs. Lazuli was completely dumbfounded on what to do. She knew that Peridot hated when she asked her to work with her but what if she did get fired in the end. "Are you alright?"

"No…" Peridot sullenly said which drew Lapis' vision back over as she looked at the blonde keeping her eyes to the floor. "Last night… I called her and was going to try and see if we could hang out for a day as family… She yelled at me for not having my work complete and for interrupting her sleep. I'm a little bit more than pissed off at her." Peridots words were genuine and had deep breaths after them as if trying to contain herself.

"Peridot why don't you leave? I really don't get it, where is the fun," before Lapis could finish Peridot had opened her mouth and cut her off.

"I don't know, maybe I want to get her approval that seems so fucking impossible to receive!" Peridots voice was booming across the room and Lapis had a suspicion that if they were mere feet from each other it'd still be the same.

"Even now?" Lapis questioned raising her voice a bit as if to try and match it.

"Lapis you don't get it, she has been yelling at me my whole life and putting me down. If I could just get one chance for her to be proud of me then it'd mean the world… She kicked me out the day she learned I was a Lesbian and as long as I have a girlfriend she isn't willing to speak with me outside of work related things." Lapis' shoulders dropped as soon as she figured out what that meant.

"So it's my fault you can't even talk with your mom anymore?" Lapis quickly turned around and took the frying pan off the burner and set them along a cold one.

"No, well… It's not your fault, it's still mine but I'm just frustrated that I'll never make her proud."

"Well why the hell would she matter? It's clear that she doesn't care about you in the slightest besides as a work drone."

Those words hung in the air as Peridot stared back with wide eyes and an open jaw in shock on what she had just heard. Lapis rung it over in her head and realized the saddest part of this all, Peridot still hadn't fully come to terms with her mother. She wasn't prepared to leave her, and not care about her opinion anymore.

"I know that… Lapis… It's not that easy, unlike you I don't have a mother reaching out to me." A familiar face from her dream took place as she looked at the snarl guarding Peridots lips.

"Reaching out? You mean the woman that lied to us to try and make me look like the bad guy?" Lapis nearly shouted this as her mind went into overdrive. Fury tracing over her thoughts at Peridot using her in a conversation.

"Yeah but she's still trying to at least fix things between you two." Peridots hands were balled and her gaze was focused now, her eyes unmoving off Lapis as she took steps forward.

"Fix? Yeah, yeah right… Wait you believe her over me don't you?" Lapis thoughts were now all mixing as if none of them could be trusted. Peridots face distorted right as Lapis spoke those words but she couldn't believe it.

"No I don't, frankly that is absurd…"

"It's true though, you never seemed on my side when I was there and listened to every word she said to you." Lapis said trying to make sense of the scenario now, her eyes glazed over in thought as the floor was the only thing in sight.

"Maybe it's called being a good guest, I don't know maybe I was trying to impress your mom so that if she did come back into your life she could like me. You know things we'd obviously want?" Her voice was clearly irritated at having to point that out.

"Sure…"

"Don't you dare do this Lazuli. You realize why we have to talk right?"

"Why?" Lapis said coolly draining the emotions out of her voice.

"You've lied about several things and frankly one of the possible lies really scares me, the others are small things that I can let slide for now but don't want them to happen again."

"Like what?" Lapis asked placing her arms on the counter as she stared back at the dead green eyes facing her.

"I don't know for starters when you called your mom that day. It should have been done early in the morning but no seems you did that at night, so what was all that about your mother being rather cold to you on the phone?" Lapis bit her lip as she heard this, realizing that she had been caught out red handed.

"Alright… I lied… I just wanted you back… I just want you here with me, why do you think I offer you a job all the time? So you can be happier and we can see each other more often." Lapis spilled out trying to change it slightly.

"No… Don't you dare try and say that. You're trying to fill that with anyone at this point and I'd just be convenient. Lapis those lies aren't what bother me, what bothers me is the fact of what you said later that day. That you love me…"

"What about it…?" Lapis slowly said, something about the tone settling in the air, rose all the hairs along the back of her neck. Peridot was taking a deep breath and her face had settled into a much more mellow state than the constant irritation. Her hands were now dragging along her shorts and lifting them slightly with the harsh pull as she clamped onto them.

"Lapis… That was a pretty bad day for us, we were arguing a bit and were probably going to argue more if you didn't say that… The thing is… did you actually mean it? Or was that just you trying to end that argument?" Peridot question and her eyes dragged up looked as if they were full of pity.

"Of course I meant it, what the hell is wrong with you? I love you Peridot." Lapis said genuinely confused as she looked at the girl.

"That's the thing… I think Amethyst was right and that you don't love me in the same way that I love you Lapis…"

"Why the hell are you bringing up Amethyst?" Lapis demanded hitting her hand on the counter with her words.

"I Love you as a person Lapis… I think you love me as a possession…" Her words came forth with a dash of pain for each word she said. Lapis' mind was blowing right past it though as she was fuming.

"Bullshit, why would you say that?"

"You feel the need to keep an eye on me when I've never done anything to prove that you can't trust me. Hell you even make me feel like a possession with how you tell me I have to do certain things. Amethyst has told me several things that you did to her while you were in a relationship and I'm starting to see some parallels and that frustrates me."

"Don't listen to her." Lapis desperately said as Peridot began walking away. "Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving…" Peridot said slowly packing up her laptop.

"Where?"

"Doesn't matter anymore. Lapis I'm done, all I wanted to do was talk this out like adults but instead you turned it into an argument or more so started it as one."

"What do you mean we're done…?" Lapis yelled after her, as Peridot was packing up her bag. Lapis ran out of the kitchen till she was standing over the blonde girl that was slowly lifting herself.

"Lapis I warned you countless times about several things and you didn't listen, you didn't learn. How can I be in a relationship when you won't even listen to me? I was never going to do anything with Amethyst and I never wanted to leave my job for your damn bakery." With that Peridot fully stood and would no longer look her in the eyes.

"don't go… Is this about Pearl?"

"What the hell… Of course not," Peridot drastically turned and looked her in the eye. "Yeah that sucked but for god's sake this is between you and me not anyone else. You can't stop me this time." Peridot slowly began making steps to the door after she slid on her convers.

"Wait… So are you breaking up with me?" Lapis asked unmoving waiting for the answer. The door slowly opened and still no sign of interrupted movement.

"I think so. I don't know… Alright I need time to think." With that the door closed and Lapis shut down, savoring the floor as her solace over the eggs planted on the pan. She sat there her eyes filled with tears. Frustration and anger quickly turning to fear.

 _Why… I… Think I might have fucked up…_ Laying herself out a bit more she slowly placed her hands underneath her head and looked up at the ceiling. A long distance to cover, that never seemed to change, standing pulled it closer but still out of reach. Her mind was starting to feel the shadows engulf her in sadness.

Reaching into her pocket she slid out her cold phone. Slowly, numbly running her fingers along it she quickly sent out a message and then waited. _Can I still fix things?_ _I wonder where she is…_ _Probably Amethyst to go complain about how she was right… Nah, she wouldn't do that…_

Running her palms slowly along the floor, eventually they met the side of her stomach. With all her might she pushed off and started to sit down in the fetal position. Her phones vibration against the floor sounded like a small earth quake and was left alone to continue. Her eyes were blurred, things that were a few feet ahead of her looked like they were all warped into each other.

Like a mirror was spun around in her eyes thanks to the water concentrated in them, even with subtle swipes to remove some it was all useless. Back to square one in a matter of moments, avoiding her own thoughts she slowly finally picked up the phone.

Gazing down at the contact she previously messaged she sat there pondering the conversation they may have. One plan laid in her head though…

"Hey…" Lapis slowly said as if the life she had to give wasn't enough for the conversation ahead of her.

"Lazuli are you alright? What's going on?" It was a message from Pearl.

"I messed up… want to meet up for a drink?"

"Alright."

Soon enough plans were fully made and gave Lapis enough time to take a shower and lay across the floor for a few hours. That was fine by her, she wasn't ready to go into the public yet anyways, but she needed to end up at Pearls apartment by the end of the day at least.

Soon enough the time had finally crawled far enough to reasonably leave the house. Dressed in pitch black with a basic t-shirt and jeans she left. They planned on meeting up at seven and Lapis already knew that Pearl would be there fifteen minutes early, she always was early.

The sky had plenty of lines of clouds as if to take away the sun for a few minutes at a time before the obscene amount of light would cover the land again. _Sunglasses and an ice pack would be nice…_ Her hand was slowly collecting heat with her phone resting in the middle with a harsh grip on it. Waiting for any sign to cancel her plans for the night.

To her dismay the only thing slowing down her steps were the thoughts crashing through her mind of the blonde happier elsewhere. It hurt, to think, hey maybe this girl would be better without me. She was constantly walking away from the sun as if she was chasing her own shadow, a shadow that looked a lot better than the source. It didn't frown, its hunch was muffled by the inaccurate blur it acquired with the imperfect ground.

Soon enough the bar was insight and Lapis still didn't know what her plan b would be if it turned out she was wrong in the end. With blaring music pushing the walls of the place she slowly entered and so far she was right, Pearl was sitting in the middle. Her back was perfectly straight as if she practiced it growing up, she likely did.

Walking over Lapis tried to focus on everything around her before she got to her seat. The emanating smell of sweat from the few people randomly dancing off to the side, too early to get a real crowd. The dull beige lights lining the place giving it an eerie horror feeling, and in Lapis' state of mind that didn't help very much.

 _Life is cruel._ Lapis thoughts skewed from irritation and depression caused her first line to be asking the bartender for a drink over a hello to the girl beside her.

"So Lapis you said it was urgent… what's going on?" Pearl questioned ignoring the rude manners on display. Pearl was dressed in a light blue t shirt and just some basic blue jeans, they didn't look the best together, Lapis held a mental note.

"Um I think Peridot just kind of broke up with me…" Pearls eyes widened as she looked confused and began looking around frantically.

"What do you mean kind of?"

"Well she left and said she was breaking up with me after a fight…"

"Don't you want to get back together with her? Don't you miss her?" Pearl was speaking very quickly and some of her words were even beginning to be hard to understand.

"Yeah maybe…" Lapis consulted her thoughts and quickly decided it better to push them back with another shot. Her eyes felt like they had weights on them and it only made her want to take more shots to try and relieve them.

"You shouldn't be here with me then…" Pearl said and her face looked hurt as her eyebrows came together and a frail smile boarded her face.

"Pearl you said you'd be there for me, I just need a friend alright? Now come on have a few drinks with me… I feel lonely enough as it is." Calling over the waiter they began picking at a selection of drinks and obviously Pearl was grabbing girly drinks… _She's going to need a lot more than that…_

"Fine… I'm just worried for you, if Peridot finds out she definitely isn't going to be happy…" _Why would you care, you wanted me to ditch her…_

"Why are you trying to help us?" Lapis questioned scanning over her face. Pearl looked like she was about to lie by the way her face tried to contort a smile but it quickly dropped with a large sigh as she stared down the bar counter.

"Lapis… You don't want me… I don't know what you're doing but I know that at the very least…" Pearl sullenly said and soon enough tore herself away for a larger drink, both of them could use that.

"Pearl you get me though…" Lapis replied and soon enough neither of them were really talking but more so just patiently sitting there drinking.

It was bitter and each drink felt like a dumbbell had been dropped in her gut thanks to her stomach being vacant of any food. Lapis knew that tonight would have repercussions in the morning and she was prepared for that, any pain that fell upon her was well deserved.

"So do you want to talk about it?" Lapis thought she heard those words but even Pearls regular speech was being hindered by the alcohol.

"I'm not really that sure…" Lapis said back resting her face on the palm of her hand. "Like I don't even know what to do honestly."

"Why did she leave?" Pearl asked and as Lapis looked up at her she could see the signs of it hitting Pearl. She was a light weight and it was quickly apparent with the small sways of her head as if losing control. _She's still trying though…_

"Because she thinks that I lied about loving her in order to stop a fight and thinks that I'm constantly lying to her…" Lapis slowly admitted after a long pause of thinking. Now it was Pearls turn for her brain to try and stumble on good advice.

"Well that is pretty bad… I'd say… did you though?" Pearl mumbled out, it seemed she was past her point. Thinking it over and Pearl might have been trying to keep up with Lapis on drinks… even when hers were more concentrated.

"Maybe… Hey Pearl want to go home now?" Lapis asked swaying with a little bit of her step as she pushed herself off the stool. It felt as if everything around her was loading in a bit slow, she could turn her head but it'd take a moment before the room would follow.

"Together?"

"Yeah." Lapis said as she slowly worked on paying their bills, Pearl would pay her back later she noted.

"Okay." With that both of them left the building that was now actually starting to build up with people. Pearls house was nearby… well apartment. Even with that though both of them were taking forever to cover any distance. Pearl was heavily leaning on Lapis with each step, soon enough she found their hands raveled together.

Looking up at the sky and it was altered to a soft dark purple, still with constant clouds filling the sky. Whenever she gazed at the frail girl beside her their eyes would lock for a brief moment, long enough to make Lapis feel slightly uncomfortable with what she was doing.

By the time they reached the building Pearl had to take several minutes just scraping out her keys from her pocket. It had been so long since she'd step foot in here and Lapis wasn't exactly thrilled to do it. Opening the door was a short corridor that then lead into the living room.

As they scraped off their shoes Lapis began looking around, pictures hadn't disappeared they'd stayed the same. Her leaving meant no difference to anyone there… Soon enough they were walking along with their arms now circling each other. Pearl had a large smile and Lapis wasn't completely convinced the poor girl knew what was happening, only that she was happy.

"Hey what are you doing here?" Amethyst voice was harsh and her face was quite stern as she watched them stumble through.

"We were just enjoying some time together," Lapis slyly responded trying to keep herself on edge as she looked at the silver haired girl. She was still dizzy and the alcohol had hit her a bit ago but she wasn't willing to show weakness to this girl.

"Oh yeah? Well where is Peridot?" Amethyst demanded jumping off the couch and approaching Lapis.

"I don't know," Pearl yelled as she threw her head forward and got between Amethyst and Lapis. _Peridot isn't here… Peridot isn't here… Peridot isn't here… I've fucked up… oh god no…_

"Pearl get out of the way, this is between me and Lapis." Amethyst stubbornly said pushing Pearl out of the way, in Pearls current state the push made her end up on the floor. Looking down at the girl who crashed was rubbing her shoulder from impact infuriated Lapis.

"What the fuck was that Amethyst."

"I don't know what the fuck is this? Huh you were supposed to be happy with Peridot and now you've come to freaking cheat on her with Pearl or what? I saw the way you two were holding hands!" Amethyst was yelling and her eyes were mere inches away from Lazuli's.

"Oh maybe our relationship is between us and not you." Lapis snarled back slowly brining her hands forward ready to swing…

"Amethyst… we needa uhh talk…" Pearl slowly said trying to rise off the floor herself. Lapis was completely focused on the brown eyes ahead of her not giving any leeway.

"Maybe later P right now I think I want to beat up this punk ass." Amethyst said and Pearl began wrapping herself around Amethyst. To which the silver haired girl began dragging her off once again.

"It's not your problem Amethyst and I really need to talk to you in the kitchen." Pulling a bit harsher this time Amethyst actually lost eye contact with Lapis, together they briefly walked into the kitchen. Lapis wasn't able to hear them at all and about 90% of her just wanted to run out of the doors and go anywhere else.

After several minutes of decision she finally did, turning around and placing her fingers on the nob she turned it. No one behind her seemed to have even heard the noise and they were actually starting to yell at each other… Thanks to all the time she'd been sitting on the alcohol, her body was returning ever so slightly to normal. Enough that when she opened that door she knew who she saw.

A scared little blonde with wide eyes and tears streaking down her face nearly immediately.

"Lapis… I didn't want to… Why are you here…?" Her face wasn't angry anymore just sad, the tears weren't resting on her cheek they were waterfalls quickly falling down. It felt like Lapis' heart shattered twice today in that moment.

 _I need to end this all now, I need to fix everything. I can do that, there is still time right?_ Lapis immediately took off past the poor blonde in a sprint into the deep blue night hoping her final idea would at least give her a chance.


	28. Abandonment

A/N Next chapter is the finale before the epilogue.

"I think so. I don't know… Alright I need time to think." With that Peridot left the building and slowly descended down the staircase. Looking back up at the door once she reached the end for a solid minute, waiting. _I don't need her… Lapis…_

Irritated she began walking around the corner and drawing out her phone. The heat of the sun was already causing sweat to trickle down the back of her neck and carrying around her laptop didn't exactly help either. Soon enough the slow beep started to signal the call going through.

"Hello?" Steven asked in a high pitched voice with his usual childlike demeanor.

"Can I come over…? I kind of need someone to talk to about some 'things'." Skipping straight to the point and Steven could clearly hear how serious it was with how quickly it went silent on the line.

"Is everything alright?"

"No… I may have just broken up with Lapis…"

"Jeez yeah definitely, um I'm kind of living with Connie right now…" His voice had an awkward ring to it with a dollop of confusion. "Did you want to meet here or at my dad's house?"

"Honestly I don't even know where Connie lives, at least I'm not 100% sure so how about Greg's place?" Peridot mimed back gesturing her confusion by lifting her right hand up flat. Slowly realizing that she was doing that in public and the only person it was meant for couldn't even see it.

"Alright be there in a few," Instead of responding Peridot just hung up. Quickly lowering her body till she was crouched against the wall. It had shade at least and with this distance to the floor her laptop was actually being held up by something a lot sturdier then the light weight girl.

 _I messed up…_ Taking in a deep breath and thinking over all the points of the argument and it came to a single conclusion. _I shouldn't have broken up with her… We need to learn to solve our issues eventually… Maybe I should go apologize? She didn't even chase after me… maybe it was for the best._

Dragging herself to her feet once again she began to walk off to the beach for the rest of the walk. As soon as she hit the sand she remembered how much she hated sand, it wasn't solid at all and for a girl that lacked the basic necessities of a small amount of balance it was a burden. Small slopes felt like they could fling her to the ground. _Yeah why don't I just fall over and pour sand into my laptop, I'm sure it'll make it run faster._

Irritated Peridot kicked at a mound of sand as she continued to Steven's second home. Constantly glaring down at her phone in hopes that it would go off, but it didn't the whole walk over. Soon enough the wooden patio was underneath her feet.

Sweat falling in large drops painting the floor along with her frown she was wearing. Sore shoulders from constantly switching which side her laptop was on. The van wasn't there which meant no one would be home, _perfect._ Sitting along the side of the house which kept a fair amount of shade was the only reasonable spot.

The van just came into view harshly stopping at the start of the patio. Steven walking over with a hand placed over his forhead. The sun glaring off the sand didn't help, as if to draw a shroud of light over everything.

"Hey Peri," Steven Loudly said as he approached the front door. "Come on in."

"Very well…" She said back in a low voice, slightly irritated at the nickname that the boys' voice held. Once inside it was like a spontaneous change to cold, not the bothersome heat that seared skin.

"Want anything to eat? Or maybe drink?" Steven asked walking towards the kitchen with a small kick in his step. Like a tiny burst of energy, something small, he probably was hiding the rest away.

"I guess just a water would be fine…" _I can't believe Lapis…_ The glass was filled with water and several ice cubes dropped in for good measure. It was sweet even just a thought on the side and it hurt slightly. Steven was there for her…

"Do you want to talk about it?" _Do I?_ Steven was quickly leaning back on the wall patiently waiting, slowly looking around the kitchen.

"I don't know… Can we not for now?" Peridot knew herself, knew that right now she was still steaming and even with going too far, she justified it all.

"Uh yeah it's completely up to you, what do you want to do then?"

"I don't know… we haven't played any games for a while…" After that the brunette boys face lit up with a large smile. He quickly ran over to the other side of the house frantically setting up the game system. The blonde was different though, she took her time getting over there wishing that each breath would bring a new clear mind.

The games did one thing though, they stole the sun without it being noticed. Both of them highly competitive trying to beat the other one out of the screen. It was different, her mind was easily drawn away, mainly from the small trash talk Steven would joke about. Soon enough they were walking back into the kitchen. Him still keeping up his skipping step.

"Hey Steven I wanted to say thanks and that I think I may be ready to talk now…"

"Alright what do you want to share then?" Steven said winding one of his fingers through the air in a circle slowly.

"I think you should share why you've been moving sort of weird this whole time…"

"…Oh… I found a song I sort of like…" Steven said clearly slightly ashamed that it was noticeable, which only earned an exhausted sigh out of Peridot. "Alright… now you?" He asked back as if still not knowing whether they should move on or not.

"Alright… Well I guess the fight is kind of because…" It was hard for her to talk about her issues with Steven. Even though they had been so close for so long, this gap of time they were separate felt like a lot. So much had happened that was different for each other. They got back together, while Peridot fell apart, closing her eyes she tried again. "I don't think Lapis loves me like a person…"

"Why would you say that?" Steven's eyebrows dropped along with his mouth, a pitfall of a frown instantly. He shook his head so slightly as well at the sound of that. The sight of fear in him scared Peridot as she tried to find the words.

"Well that's not all…" Peridot desperately said, as if she was being forced to change the subject. "We never solve things when we fight… it's always just pushed away and honestly I can't keep doing that…"

"Let's start with one issue at a time… Do you really want to be broken up with her?" Regardless of the change, he still looked horribly worried about everything.

"I mean I should… I still care about her but if she isn't willing to fix things than there is no way we can move forward." Peridot said pulling her arms across each other and glaring off to the wooden walls.

"Well what does she need to fix?" Steven asked aware of all her issues, there was something behind his change in tone though. Going from scared to questioning with a dose of confidence.

"Well the way she tries to command me on how to live, the lack of trust she has to just tell me the truth sometimes…" Thinking it over and both those were the only things scaling along the walls of her mind.

"What do you need to fix in order for you two to work?" Steven began drinking from his water with one eye open waiting, watching.

"What do I need to fix? She's the one that's messed up…" Peridot said back starting to question herself.

"Are you sure?"

It went silent after that except for the foot-steps of Peridot as she began pacing around the kitchen.

 _Alright so what is he pointing out… he's clearly confident about something…. Argh he wasn't even there how can he have a clue about anything… this makes no sense…_

"Peridot… something my dad taught me and that Lapis and Connie helped me remember is that a relationship takes work… Yeah you're struggling but isn't this your first real fight? The first time you're actually trying to solve it at least. And if it's something so big, I can bet you have a part in it as well…" Steven's voice was happier than previously, he was probably right…

 _Well… I don't think she would have chased after me regardless… I mean… she was pretty irritated as well. Did I say anything wrong? I guess I did get pretty mad, I think I might have been a little bit overboard._

"I did get pretty mad, honestly we were sort of fighting about our parents and my job…" Peridot spoke those last words slowly as she closed her eyes, thinking hard about the day.

"Why?" Stevens face scrunched up as he heard those words.

"Well… My mother won't even talk to me… Lapis' mother is actively trying to get back together with her, I wish mine was like that. We've had a lot of issues regarding mine, she yells at me and Lapis just wants me to quit and work in the bakery with her, why the hell would I leave my job. I worked for years just to get where I am."

"What makes it so important though? Is it the pay?"

"Not really… I guess I enjoy my work? I mean coding can be a bit of fun… I like making things…" Peridot said slowly realizing the real reason, she'd known if for a bit of time. "Steven I can't walk away from it, I could probably ask to be moved to a different section but then she'd win…"

"She'd win?" Steven questioned, clearly baffled at the mention of a competition.

"Mrs. Diamond expects me to leave eventually, but this is the only group that can move up in the company. If I ever left it, then I wouldn't ever be able to go anywhere in my life. That terrifies me, I need progress, I need tasks and honestly Lapis' bakery seems pretty halted."

"What's going to happen when you move up?" Steven asked his face showing concern with each word he pushed into the air.

"I'll probably have more work and be in charge of people, but I'd get payed a lot better and might get more vacations…"

"You'd get payed better, when you don't even need the money? Peridot you'd have less free time than you already have… Do you really want that?"

A buzzing noise began emanating from peridots pocket, quickly taking out her phone to notice a new message.

"Get over here right away, Lapis and Pearl just walked through the door together drunk. Get here NOW!" It was a messaged from Amethyst

"Oh god… I have to go Steven…" Her chest felt hollow reading that message.

"What's wrong?"

"I'll tell you later, but I don't think I can work things out with Lapis anymore." Peridot said frantically running out the door. Steven seemed to follow at least to the door but then he stopped.

 _Really Lapis…? I thought you loved me… why would you do such a thing…_ Running and each step starting to weigh heavily with the realization of how out of shape she was. That didn't matter though, the sun beating down on her didn't matter either.

Each step pushing down extra in the sand as if to try and trap her, they didn't stop her. _Amethyst house is close by I can be there real soon._ Sweat starting to trickle down, falling off as it was held on her neck. Clothes beginning to bunch up with the sweat causing it to stick to her skin. That didn't matter either, she just needed to confirm that this was all one big fabrication.

Soon enough the front of the apartment was ahead of her as she closed in she noticed an opening door. Blue hair in a mess slowly, the sight of the once beautiful girl just produced tears. With the distance covered and them standing face to face, it felt like her lungs were being clenched tight to keep her unable to speak.

"Lapis…" She mustered out feeling spikes in her throat as the unclean word spilled forth. Pulling her hand slightly up and the girl just looked paralyzed as well. Wide eyed, not speaking back.

"I didn't want to…" _Why are you here, why…? I said I had to think… I messed up and now we can't be together. Why would you do this to us?_

"Why are you here…?" Peridot finally asked wanting to just close her eyes and curl into a small ball. Lapis didn't respond, she just left. Running at full speed, the out of breath with lungs that burned and feet that hurt could only watch. Crying as she felt like they were finally through, Lapis running away.

 _I don't need you…_ Peridot tried to lie to herself, her mind a complete wreck, it wasn't her choice this time. Forcing her head up, she heard yelling from inside the room. With a head dropped so low it might as well have been touching the floor she walked forward. Dragging her eyes up, and behind her one more time to see nothing, no one there, emptiness once again.

"Peridot where did Lapis go?" Amethyst yelled running out into the hallway as if to force herself upon the world.

"She left." Peridot said coldly back, it was easy to be cold when you were fully broken. Pearl soon enough was joining them with the least steady of steps on display.

"Peridot I need to tell you something…" Pearl said softly and Amethyst wasn't yelling any longer, _what changed?_

"I don't care Pearl and I don't want to hear it… I'm going home…" _Where is that?_ Turning around she took a heavy breath, trying to hold back any more meteorite tears that just ended up crashing on the ground.

"It's about Lapis."

"Like I said Pearl I don't care and I don't want to hear it." Suddenly a hand was slapped on Peridots shoulder forcing her to turn around.

"Hey Pearl let me explain this, as much as I hate it. Especially since you can't really word right now," Amethyst said in a playful yet still stern voice.

"Very well, what is it…?" crossing her arms with one hand pulled up to rub her eyes often.

"I mean this is still pretty bad of Lapis… but it could have been worse to say the least. Lapis was sort of looking for you, apparently when Pearl went out with Lapis… Lapis just needed someone to talk to and rejected Pearls advances, at least that's what Pearl said. So pretty much Lapis' plan was to see you here and drag you back…"

"So, she still went out with Pearl and her first thought is that I'd come to you to spite her?" Peridot was starting to fume at the thought, this was exactly like Lapis though.

"I know you're mad but just know, the reason she left was because you weren't here… I don't know how much that means to you but that is why," followed by a small laugh Pearl had spoken those words. It was sort of like she'd went slightly insane with her intoxicated state.

"Alright," _Wait… what does that mean…? That's wrong of her to do all that, but still… Alright we need to finish this. I don't know how to feel anymore, I don't know what she's thinking or even where she went._ "I'm going to go find her and talk with her, sorry for the trouble… bye guys." With that Peridot left. Amethyst had quickly ran her hand on top of Peridot's mess of hair.

"Tell me how it goes later alright?" Amethyst said carefully, her voice showed concern and soon enough she was dragging Pearl back inside.

Peridots first action was to take out her phone and start sorting through her contacts. Once it reached the L's she quickly began dialing, on her back to her house.

It rang all the way through and soon enough she threw it back in her pocket irritated. The walk home across the dark blue skies was alright but it meant loneliness when she got home, she didn't even have her laptop bag anymore. So no computer once she got home, either resolved problems and hopefully watching TV together or quietly sitting in her room.

The walk home wasn't focused on any beauty in the sky, no meaningful landmarks to focus vision on. Almost everything she walked past was in a blur with the constant nag of thinking over everything. To the point that even walking up the metal cased stairs didn't break her focus.

It was dark though inside, no lights and the door was still locked. Like a subtle sign telling her not to come back, slowly unlocking and opening the door.

"Hey Lazuli?" Peridot yelled throughout the house and nothing came back, no sign of movement. Walking around the living room switching on a small lamp, vacant. Running upstairs to Lapis' bed and she wasn't there either, honestly it looked no different from the morning. Ruffled bedsheets were kind of hard to tell a difference though.

Walking even further into the room to a shaky ladder. Pushing open the small openable ceiling to bask in another rush of the stars across the sky. Pushing up and no one was home, she was completely by herself, Lazuli never returned home…

Taking out her phone running along it, no one would know? _I just saw Steven and Pearl and Amethyst… Where did she go? The restaurant should be closed, she couldn't be there._

Giving in she tried anyways calling Steven. After a few rings his friendly familiar voice picked up.

"Hey what's up Peridot?" Steven asked clearly excited to be talking once again.

"Nothing much..."

"Calling to get your Laptop back?" Steven asked clearly walking around his apartment, or more so rampaging around with how the phone had static disruptions.

"No… I was actually calling to ask if you've seen Lapis?" the call went silent, only thing that could have caused that is if Steven stopped moving right when he heard that. Seemed like it with how it held silent for a bit.

"Yes…?" Steven sounded confused as he answered. Peridot began running her fingers through her hair thinking it over.

"Alright where is she?"

"I don't know if I'm allowed to tell you if she didn't tell you." Steven admitted.

"Well what happened at the very least? I need to know, now." Peridot said demanding the answers as Steven took a deep exhale.

"Honestly I'm not too sure… She said she needed to borrow the van for a night and that she'd be back tomorrow afternoon…"

"Steven… She can't drive…" Peridot said terrified after thinking over the course of actions that had taken over the night. Pearl was barely able to stand with the amount that they had.

"What do you mean? Of course Lapis can drive." Steven questioned, his voice getting quieter as he heard the fear in Peridots.

"How did you not notice? She's drunk Steven." On the other side was an inhale as he tried to get a grip over what he just did.

"I barely saw her… She sent me a text that it needed to be done now and just told me to place the keys in the car… When she got there…" His voice was dying out, it seemed he was breaking down over this. "I tried to say hi… she just waved back, what do we do?" Frantically he asked.

"I saw her leaving Pearls house earlier, drunk and I didn't stop her…" Peridot wasn't as scared of the drunk driving as the fact that they had no idea where she was and her decision making skills weren't the best usually. This was drunk Lapis though, traveling and admitting that it would be over, a day till she'd be back. This was 'I won't return for a while and you don't get to know why.' "Steven… I'll call you back tomorrow, if you see Lapis first please tell me."

"Alright…"

With the phone call turned off it was just silence, no longer awkward but lonely.


	29. Time

A/N Thank you so much for coming along for this journey. It really has meant the world to me, that people have been enjoying the story I hope this ending is fitting. You can also follow me on tumblr if you want adojoa is my username. Have a great one, and thanks again. it'll have an epilogue of about six months later but this is the story ending so thank you once more :)

Waking up after a night of drinking and not a drop of water or food in your system can do such a wonderful thing. Lapis knew of these repercussions and still was amazed when she woke, on how she really felt. Her head felt as if a grenade had been drilled into the center and was set on repeat somehow, while her stomach felt as if she had drank a gallon of sea water and laced it with sea creatures trying to return to the surface.

Persuading her eyes to open made her quickly beg for them to be closed once the light bled through. Completely unaware to where she was or what she was doing she rolled her body slightly into a soft crevice. Taking in the feelings of pain, laying there in agony as if nothing else existed in the world.

Soon enough those creatures were starting to make their way to the surface as she pushed her body up to notice a door. Flinging it open and thrusting her body over the edge she began heaving out the remaining liquids in her gut. Each heave causing her grasp on her side to tighten as if to crush her lungs into pushing all the pain out, left with bright red lines of where her hands had once been.

Pressing her eyelids closed with all her might as if each drop of sunlight was another explosion to her mind. Hanging her head low with her body nearly falling out of where it rested she decided to peek through and look at the world.

A foot hold to the van held her hands up while just beneath the car was dirt and a lot of it. _So I'm in the van… that's a start…_ Dragging her corpse of a body up and looking around she noticed all the farm scape and the fact that she was dredged upon the side of the road in a ditch. Cogs were starting to spin as her mind was piecing together the bits of her last game plan.

Giving herself a push back into the car and staring at the roof she began pondering what to do and when to do it. _Alright I need… my phone first thing…_ Lazily scratching through her pocket and noticing that it was empty left her dreading her next idea. Having to search the floor for her phone, since it was a crucial component.

Taking in large enough breaths to fill her entire body, finally dragging herself over to nearly fall into the crevice of the back seat and front. Scratching her hand along the floor till a solid metal case made itself present with its searing cold. Upon inspection the bright lights sending pain throbbing in her mind but several messages laid in wait. A few missed calls, _I will read those later… I can't now…_

Opening her camera app and taking a look over at herself, she realized she wasn't presentable at all. Hair sticking up in all sorts of directions and then on top of that large hoops under her eyes of darkness, while the core of her eyes held red veins across them.

Sitting with one eye closed and one holding the back of her head, she slowly had went through her phone before finally sitting up. Shoving the door open and slowly stumbling to the actual earth around her. The presence of open air and a new scenery, displayed the world with a subtle shake in Lapis' unhealthy state. Each step nearly sent her to the floor as she tried to focus purely on the unsteady ground.

After making it around the car her target was now within sight. A beaten down house that slowly got closer as she switched off eyes to gaze at it. Broken down from each step, setting an app on her phone on as she finally got to the door.

Her small hand pounding it three times in quick succession, leaving her hand in pain. It was needed though and as foot-steps on the other side were present so was she. Searing anger tempering each of her movements, every ounce of pain poured into her emotions. Doubt, fear, longing all poured into anger. Nausea, pain, tiredness all poured into that same anger. Staggered breaths, each one moving her entire body as if they were the entirety keeping her alive.

"Lapis…?" Instantly the woman ahead had appeared, drawing a shocked look from Lapis as she looked up. She was dressed in a black gown that held her frame quite well and as Lapis looked into her eyes, she noticed the black eyeliner flawlessly applied.

"Acai…" Lapis exhaled through her teeth keeping her head forward.

"Oh dear are you alright?" Acai asked reaching her hand forward, watching that hand fly towards her Lapis slapped it out of air. Both them standing there wide eyed at each other.

"We need to talk, you and me." Acai's expression dropped to one of sorrow as she looked at her daughter and Lapis hated that, hated that it felt like pity washing over her.

"Alright come on in honey." Slowly moving out of the way and opening the door they both went inside. Dragging her hand out of her own hair till it was caught along her sides, she didn't want to appear weak but realized it might be a bit too late for that.

Taking large steps inside, each one felt like she was on stilts keeping her up as her head pounded away. _I know I'm right… This was what's needed for her. For us…_ Constantly closing her eyes in an attempt to shield herself to just realize she was standing still in the living room.

"Sit down…" Lapis listened to that and her body as she felt heavy. "What do you want to talk about?" Lapis wasn't focused on the scenery around her, only the black of her eyelids focusing on the words being spun around her head.

"I'm here to confront you." Lapis spoke loudly which only got a sigh from the other party. "Why did you lie to Peridot about hurting me?" Opening her eyes and contorting her face into a sneer with the strength she could muster.

"Honey is something else bothering you? Do you want some food or tea? You look like a mess." Acai patiently said back with her hands on her own lap. Her face looked as if it contained enough sympathy for Lapis to believe her, but her anger pushed past that.

"Answer the damn question."

"Fine, is it hard enough to believe that I'd want her to like me? You didn't even call me like I asked… I was going to explain that dear, honestly all I wanted was her to like me and so that we could all start getting along."

"Bull shit, you have something more planned don't you?" Lapis yelled out, trying to take a stand but her legs just didn't want to move. Acai just slowly shook her head as she listened.

"That's all there is to it."

"What is it huh? Want to kill her as well? Want to ruin everything good in my life?" Lapis asked and soon enough Lapis saw what she wanted. That lethal sneer that she had seen on the last visit had returned to her face. A stone cold stare that dropped off all emotion as she raised her head, Lapis realized in that moment she wasn't strong enough to fight though. Fear bordering her mind and engulfing her mind as she thought of how hopeless she was.

Acai stood up and just looked down at the unfortunate girl. Savoring a deep breath, Lapis begged her legs and finally gave enough for her to stand as well. Eye to eye.

"Lapis, what is this about?" Acai asked, her words fell out differently than before, they were precise as if cutting the air between her ears.

"Finally showing your real self huh?" _Don't waver, you have to prove yourself now. It'll be alright and if it isn't… I probably deserve this then,_ Lapis thought to herself.

"I'm only doing this because it's apparent that it's the only way you'd listen. Now tell me why the hell you've come to me in this state?" Acai had raised her arms to cross them, Acai's few inches in height only caused severe intimidation to Lapis.

"I don't know? Maybe my girlfriend believed your bullshit and it's causing us issues." Lapis yelled throwing her balled hands back as she spoke.

"That's idiotic, you do realize that if that is what caused problems in your relationship that it's probably more than that?" _No it's your fault…_

 _"_ No…" Lapis denied trying to think it over in her head.

"Dear," Acai said coldly unlike her other 'dears' and 'honeys'. "Think about it, if the issue was just regarding her believing me then all that should change is whether she believes your 'traumatic past'. Then your relationship should still be fine, you should never have a relationship purely off of someone else's past."

"But…"

"Lapis… Relationships are hard and even with your dad, we struggled… We were gone from each other so much… it's hard to keep that spark up, but he tried so hard and honestly I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" Lapis questioned taking a step back to her quickly sullen mother.

"Your dad was such a great man… He really kept us together so well… I miss him every day Lapis…" Her sternness was gone again, drenched into something she hadn't seen in years. Intimidation leaking through the floor as her body began to hunch with sadness and Lapis could only watch her. "I really felt if he was still here he could have taught you how to get over someone's death but instead you were left with me." Acai continued on starting to walk towards the kitchen.

"I often think about how if he lived, how you would have been raised properly… happily… I'm sorry for all those years, all those awful things I did to you, I've been going through therapy since you left… Even with that though, I was scared to see you… I was scared some internal part of me would snap or that maybe that I didn't deserve to ever see you… I should have been the one to die that day."

Lapis was dumbstruck with no idea on what to do, wide eyed watching the girl in front of her beginning to break down with her words. Past the pain and anger, she felt what her mother was saying, something they could agree on. Lapis started to realize how awful it was that she agreed.

"So when I went to Rose's, was it therapy that told you to keep in contact?" Lapis asked trying to fit some words into the air of her own instead of feeling like a ghost of someone's past. Trying to push her anger forward once more.

"Therapy taught me how to deal with my feelings better but guilt is something that I'm still dealing with. Honestly the fact I was able to speak with Rose and that she didn't treat me like a monster really helped." It hurt, Lapis' anger couldn't ignite with how sad this conversation was making her.

"How much did you two talk?" Lapis slouching her shoulders with those words.

"Every time you did something she thought I'd be proud of… Nearly every day she'd at least send me a text. I'm sorry Lapis…"

With this all of Lapis' emotions and feelings were starting to fuse into a mesh of confusion that she couldn't solve.

"Lapis, seriously what is going on between you and that girl?" Acai asked and suddenly Lapis realized how flipped everything had become.

"It… doesn't matter…" Lapis puffed out those words trying to grasp all the words that had been takin in by her mind.

"Let me get you some water… you look like you had a bad night. Last time you mentioned nightmares?" Acai questioned, taking a neutral voice that no longer was fake nor cruel.

"Yeah… I have nightmares of back when we lived… together…" looking over to the kitchen and Acai was stuck holding a glass of water and staring into it. Her face looked like it was deep in concentration, a sad thought playing through the woman's mind.

"I'm so sorry…" The room felt heavy even as the mother brought the water to Lapis, nothing changed. Looking at the clear glass, went straight through to the table beneath her. The water didn't change the hunger her stomach had felt nor did it change her pulsing mind.

"Yeah…" Nothing to say, she couldn't just lie and say she'd forgiven her. She still knew that when she was haunted with thoughts of those nights, she wish that they were still both gone.

"Lapis… I know you probably still don't trust me and you may never but please listen. You should definitely go through therapy, they can really help you."

"I could never pay for that…" Lapis admitted thinking over the idea, she had heard about it from Rose but turned her down at each attempt.

"Let me, please, I know a great guy. He's helped me so much and it's the least I could do for you." Acai said and the longer Lapis was in the room, the more she realized that she might have done somethings wrong.

"I'll think about it…" Taking in a huge breath and bringing her head down she realized what she needed to do. "Hey… I kind of need to go back home… someone is hopefully waiting on me…" Lapis said slowly pushing herself up, looking down at her own hands.

"Alright, dear." Before Lapis could look up she felt her shoulders be cupped by the other womans arms. Looking up and her mother was wrapping her in a soft hug, her body felt anxious at first. Slowly easing into a subtle calm trying to push the frightening thoughts away. "Do you want me to drive you home? I can have a cab drive me back." Acai said as she slowly pulled away.

"No I think I can make it home myself." Lapis said pulling her head to the side, the close distance didn't make her feel too great.

"Come on, I don't want you getting in an accident." Those words held a lot behind them and once they were said, they both sat there in silence.

"It'll be alright… I just have a small headache now… I…"

"Really I insist," it had her slightly fake happy voice with a dash of being genuine mixed in.

"I appreciate it but, I'm needing some time to think to myself… I'll call you when it's over…" Lapis said slowly walking to the door, she felt different.

With a quick good bye they parted ways and Lapis reached into her pocket to look at her phone. It was done recording but looking it over and realizing that, maybe she didn't need this evidence anyways. Going through her texts she went by Peridots, skimming it over till she reached where she could respond.

"I'll be home soon, we need to talk." Lapis sent it and was frankly scared, she didn't wait for a response nor did she check along the road she just kept driving. Keeping herself stuck in a wall of thoughts all regarding the recent events.

 _Why did I have to go to Pearls…? God I'm still such a fucking wreck, even with all we've been through I'm the one with issues. Probably everything I've done has been horrible and it's just now that Peridot's noticing…_ Her phone started buzzing constantly, but with driving taking up her mind and hands, she just let the buzz's slowly die out.

 _I probably went to Pearls because if she was there, then she'd be jealous at least… I should probably try to clear things up with Amethyst. Peridot only has like two friends, I can't just keep her from them, no matter how much I want to… Amethyst never cheated on me… I don't think she's that kind of person._

 _Yeah but Pearl is the one that tried to get us all back together again not her… That's reasonable though, Amethyst didn't have much of a say when I left, and she also didn't have a chance to even get me back with how I ignored her… I don't know if I can blame her for Peridot, even if she did tell her bad things about me… that's all I have._

 _Peridot…_ Lapis thought as she slowly started noticing signs of entering town, it was starting to get familiar. _I shouldn't have lied, I shouldn't have driven you away from others… I probably don't deserve you. I just want you happy._ Lapis thought and soon enough her own home was coming into view.

Soon enough she was parked and looking at the metal stairs, feeling bittersweet at thinking of watching Peridot run up them. _She was so scared of them… she still is._ Her usual cacophony of noise as she ran up the stairs was a bit slower, deep in thought with a dollop of pain. Once she reached the top, the phantom was there in the couch and the thought of that sight disappearing hurt. Opening the door and immediately they locked eyes.

"Where the hell have you been? We've been worried sick." Peridot yelled quickly getting off the couch and running at Lapis. Her hands were balled and it looked as if any second those knuckles could start swinging through the air.

"Just handling some things…" Peridots face dropped when she heard that and Lapis knew why. "I was at my mother's… I wanted to… well to be honest with you, I wanted to blame everything wrong with us on her." Lapis admitted and this changed Peridot's expression from sadness to fear.

"What happened?" Peridot asked, and a large part of Lapis wanted to just play the recording and show that she was right.

"Well… let's get back to that… I have some things I need to say." Lapis said and Peridot took a step back folding her arms together and looking away. "I'm sorry… I shouldn't have done a lot of things… Not just a few things but a lot and I know I messed up. I shouldn't have gone to Pearl when you left, I shouldn't have tried to find you at her house. I shouldn't have tried arguing with you after your call with your mom… just I'm sorry." Lapis said looking up and Peridot's face had softened slightly.

"I see… Lapis I messed up too, I let my anger out and I shouldn't have compared us honestly. That's never a good thing but still Lapis… We have issues what are we going to do?" Peridot asked and her eyes turned away, doubt was plaguing the air and both them felt it.

"My… mom and I talked about a lot of things… She really likes you by the way and one of the things was about relationships. She pretty much told me that they took a lot of work and I wanted to tell you that I want to put in that work… I know I'm not the best person and I constantly make mistakes but I want to try and when I said I loved you Peridot… It was partially to get out of fighting that day but it was also definitely the truth."

The green eyed girl was sitting there contemplating everything, her head looking to the ground and each second felt like an eternity to Lapis. Eagerly waiting, watching each breath as if it brought new information to the small blonde.

"Lapis are you really sure about this?" Her face held such a sullen look.

"Yes." Lapis responded confidently and quickly. A small wry smile boarded the other girls face. Peridot began bringing her hands up and grabbing her own hair.

"Very well… I shall… I've been thinking… Alright here it is, Steven and I talked and he made me realize something… I wouldn't be opposed to working with you… I'm thinking about joining a different group in the company and working part time once I'm over there…" It looked as if each of those delays in her speech took lots of concentration to overcome.

Meanwhile Lapis was equally as lost, something that she had subtle promises to herself to not bring up were now being solved. Everything was her fault though, Peridot's fine how she is.

"Are you sure about that?" Lapis questioned a little scared. Peridot noticed that fear only making her more skittish as she tried to speak.

"That is if you'd let me… otherwise I'm not going to have any free time if I move up and there really wouldn't be a point… I'd just live to work at that point."

"Of course, I'd be glad to have you." Lapis excitedly said back, wanting to pounce forward and hug the girl but still scared.

"I'd only want to work part time as well but…" Peridot said slowly rubbing her hand along the back of her head.

"Uh yeah, yeah that sounds fine by me… So what do you want to do?" Lapis asked, sort of shy for anything. Like a pair of nervous teens they were avoiding eye contact and nervously standing around.

"You should probably return the van, and shower you smell awful." Peridot said a little bit playfully as was the first one to dare to make eye contact.

"Alright, alright, jerk." Lapis playfully said back. "I'll go drop it off, then when I'm back I'll take my damn shower alright?"

Lapis left and drove the van back, when she got there she was greeted by a familiar response. Steven freaked out slightly and it meant a lot that he showed he cared. They were all in the living room, Rose, Greg and Steven. He was apparently packing some bags and waiting on Lapis. Steve still had to move all his things into Connie's apartment.

Lapis told Rose about the events of the morning, and how much she appreciated her before dropping the keys off into Steven's hands. Rose spared her a quick sandwich and just as quick as she said hello she had to leave. Promising to call Steven that night with complete details of everything that happened, that marked the second person she'd have to call.

A walk back with a sandwich in hand and something promising waiting for her. Her walk was short and after the sandwich was devoured, she broke out into a sprint. Through the sand that fell with each step and eventually up the rattling staircase.

Opening the door wide, looking in. Her head feeling better now that she had food and water, her body only left with some remanence of tiredness. Looking over to the blonde and walking past the awkward air that would soon envelope if she didn't act fast.

Grabbing the short blonde around the back of her shoulders and slowly pulling her closer till a hand was held between them. Peridot had pushed away and was looking off to the floor. Shocked Lapis tried a little bit harder to close to the distance to still be kept by the small palm on her stomach.

"Lapis I was thinking about the last couple days and well… I want to know one more thing… How far were you going to go if Amethyst didn't stop things…? Even with everything else that has been bothering me." Peridot admitted clearly hesitant to admit those words.

Lapis was stolen from the moment and drenched in her previous feelings of fear and sadness. Thinking it over, the quick escape of lying would be enough.

"I don't know… Honestly I was completely in the mindset that you'd be there… If it weren't for that then… Well I may have made the biggest mistake of my life… Honestly I can't stand the thought of ruining things for us…" Lapis admitted, she was done lying. She hadn't lied for a while but it was such an easy thing to slip into doing, a quick getaway.

Lowering her eyes to look at the others and together they sat there staring hoping for words to form in the air. Hoping for the atmosphere to patch itself up, something injured that Lapis didn't even realize till now. Green eyes lowering, a change of heart that Lapis deserved… If everything was ruined, if her leaving gave Peridot time to think on which the girl wasn't just worried about where Lapis' was then that was okay. It was her mistake…

The thing about time is that, sometimes on rare occasions, you could see an actually positive future. Something in life to look forward to, happiness. Lapis tore her mind into a new set of thoughts as her jaw was harshly pulled into a deep kiss. The kind that fluttered through her heart straight to her opened eyes, till they slowly closed.

"How about we go take that shower Lazuli?"

"Really?" Lapis happily asked. Peridot still seemed deep in thought till she finally looked up.

"I'm still incredibly upset about… Well kind of everything within the past couple days… But it means a lot that you still want to fix it… I appreciate you telling the truth, and… I want to make it work… I love you." Peridot said back slowly wrapping her arms around Lapis' waist. It was a soft hug, very subtle with each compression drawing them closer.

"Are you just saying…? I love you too." Lapis quickly corrected her speech as Peridot looked as if she was going to punch her. Together they walked off happily to the shower.


	30. Epilogue

A/N Sorry for the horribly late epilogue but here you are. Feel free to follow me at .com Thank you so much for reading my story this has really meant the world to me.

It'd been months since that eventful night. Leaving her alone in the bakery, she was slowly finishing up her day at work. Tonight would be busy though, with her plans of having some friends over. Things like that were becoming more of an occurrence with her spare time. Sweat dropping from her head thanks to the last remaining summer day. Or maybe it was a new season, Lapis didn't care, she was happy with whatever month it was.

Slowly handing off the last doughnut available, she watched the last customer walked out the door. It had gotten busier thanks to a certain nerd, Peridot had made them a website and a lot more business seemed to notice her. The sun was still held high in the sky by the point that she had locked the doors.

An orange tint was present throughout some of the clouds on the far edge of the sky. Overhead however was just a light blue with splattered clouds across it and a nice breeze wafting through every so often.

Her face was plastered into a smile at the thought of the small blonde waiting for her on the couch of theirs. She was wrong though, she wasn't there. Peridot was instead located waiting at the top of the stair case, with the sun dazzling along the tips of her hair.

"Darn… I wanted to reach you before you closed…" Peridot had slightly pudgier cheeks since she joined the bakery and that was alright. Hell it was adorable and not too big of a change, just a doughnut a day will do that to you.

"Maybe next time. What time will others get here?" Lapis half shouted over the rumbling of the shaking staircase.

"Get here lazuli?" Peridot questioned, opening the door with a smile kept across her face. Inside was a mash of noises from Jaspers bouncing voice to Steven's gleeful words. Off beside them was chuckling Pearl and internally was a beautiful sight ahead.

"Alright, alright you win this time." Lapis said roughly running her hands through the mountain of blonde hair. "Hope you guys haven't been waiting long?" Lapis half questioned, to watch all the smiles face her except one.

Pearl had a half awkward chuckle, with a simple bittersweet smile. The counter top couldn't be seen with the endless bags of groceries. They had been planning this night for a while and it was missing one key person. Questions that could only be answered by the one awkward person in the room, before they got started.

"Hey Pearl, where is Amethyst?" Lapis whispered as to not throw off the current aura of the room. It was always entertaining watching Steven wrestle with Jasper, they both kept their eyes on Jasper as they spoke.

"She might say hello before she leaves. Although I'm not too sure, she has a lot of packing to be done." The party suddenly felt a lot more personal with the thought of it only being five people crammed in her home.

"She's leaving?" Lapis had a small strain her voice at the thought of that and Pearl just looked back at her, bitterly.

"She decided she wanted a different job. Driving those large trucks across the state carrying god knows what… In the meantime though between jobs she's also going down south to move a bit closer to some family."

"Are you going with her?" Lapis had trouble keeping her voice hushed, luckily Steven was very loud.

"I can't just leave the hospital to travel the country with her… But she'll like it, she always wanted to travel without paying for it. Her plan is to do that for a year and then settle back down, with a trucking job that has a steady route." Pearl's words seemed hurt, she could feel that it was missing something, a friend…

"Damn…" Lapis breathed out, staring holes into the floor boards.

"Well ready to cook?" Pearl said with a dash of joy.

"Yeah. Hey Jasper you better mix up some killer drinks tonight, I don't want to be able to work tomorrow!" Lapis quickly shouted as they began to walk towards the piles of full plastic backs.

"Yes ma'am." Jasper happily said while lifting Steven above her head.

Soon enough Pearl and Lapis were spinning across each other, cooking up a large dinner for everyone in the house. Every glance Lapis could take towards Peridot and she noticed the blonde staring back ever so often. Her look was a smile, she was happy and maybe a little doubtful of Lapis' but that was reasonable.

Stealing her eyes back, she kept cooking. Taking subtle advice for Pearl and likewise trying to give some as well. Pearl was amazing at seasoning, Lapis already knew this but was entertained watching it up close. The quick dance of particles falling into the chicken stir fry. Along the side was a salad that would accompany it. Meanwhile Lapis was making supplies for tacos as an extra dish, with different preferences of food for each person.

Lapis only had about a foot of clear counter space and Steven had managed to steal that, as he lifted his body up and sat on it. Looking over and giving a mean sneer, Steven looked back heart broken.

"What do you want?" Lapis demanded, trying to keep her act together.

"You've been missing so long, we've missed you so much." Steven said shaking his head so sincerely. _Damn his act is convincing._

"Alright no, seriously what's up?" Lapis asked, a tiny bit friendlier this time.

"How was work today?" He worked with her for a couple weeks before Peridot fully replaced him, which was for the better. Steven had been taking care of the car wash as well for his father.

"Pretty good, also I have an idea thanks to your dumb ass." Lapis said with a huge smile looking over to Pearl.

"What about me?" Pearl responded, her voice had more than slight suspicion mixed in.

"Don't worry about it." Lapis retorted, to which Steven just snickered. Pearl huffed and puffed but soon enough was just back to work.

"I'll tell you tomorrow, on our call." Lapis said looking over at the saddened face. He wanted the gossip now and a full twenty four hours was a long time to a childlike spirit. Lapis' and Steven had started doing a call a week no matter how busy they were, to keep up in each other's life.

With that Steven pushed off and rejoined the party of now three. It wasn't long before the food was done. Everyone quickly picked up plates and dished themselves up. _This is nice,_ Lapis thought to herself looking out at the delighted people.

Her pocket had begun sounding off before she could dish herself up. On the line a familiar number, quickly making a break for outside. A few faces caught her and quickly saw the phone before letting her go.

"Hello?" No voice came across the phone for a few good moments.

"Sup Lapis." A soft voice glided along the air. Looking down the stair case and silver hair was flowing through the air. Quickly ending the phone call, Lapis ran down the stairs to meet the other girl.

"Hey, I heard you're leaving, will you at least join the party?" Lapis asked the girl who just shrugged it off as if nothing was said.

"Nah, I can't join this party but maybe next time I'm in town. I gotta pack tonight… Anyways I'm here for you." Amethyst said and her voice was low, Lapis took a small step back hearing those words.

"What do you mean?" Lapis voice had trace amounts of fear, she wished she hid better.

"Well I wanted to say you've come a long way in the past, man maybe half a year?" Her voice was low and not ready to stop. "I kind of just wanted to say, don't you dare hurt Peri or P alright?"

 _There it was..._ Lapis took in a breath before she responded, as if to recover her nerves.

 _"_ Of course." Before she could continue Amethyst cut her off.

"I'm serious, I'll come back here just to kick your ass," her voice wasn't nearly as threatening. Had a lighter tone behind it, with a slight smile. "Remember Peridot thinks the world of you, she knows you're a mess but you've done so much in your life. All your friends are there for you… You also still have my number." Amethyst said and she turned away after that.

"I'm sorry for just leaving that day, I honestly just thought we were through. I never even thought that you would care. Make sure you do visit, you're Peridot's closest friend, I think." Lapis said back before Amethyst began walking ever so slowly away.

"Always, of course I'm her best friend, I'll catch you later." Amethyst said before Lapis turned away.

After rejoining the party and devouring the food like she hadn't eaten all day, all that was ahead of her was a night of drinking and one idea. Jasper was already setting up the drink, this one was a green and blue mixture. Jasper wasn't a bar tender but she did have some crazy drinks memorized.

The night started off loud and that was a great part. The awkward tension between Pearl and Lapis was dissolved in the kitchen as they worked together. Her past was talked through with Amethyst and hell even she'd be missed. Now they were just all fit snuggly around a small table, waiting for words to be spilled on what to do.

"Hey before we start can I say something Jasper?" Lapis asked, wishing she had a spoon to bang on her shot glass. Jasper looked up aloof, before giving a small nod. "Hey Pearl, you need a new roommate right?" Lapis asked, she could feel her smirk as she said those words.

"I mean I can pay for the apartment myself… I guess it'd be nice…?" Pearl seemed unsure of all the words she spoke, now was the time to strike.

"Jasper you should move in with Pearl. You'd both save a bit of money and then have company to talk to and such." Jasper's eyes shot open at the thought of living with someone, she seemed a mixture of shocked but not turning it away.

"Lapis… Pearl and I don't really hang out that much…" Jasper tried to push out of her mouth, trying to sound kind.

"You two don't hate each other thought right?" Lapis said shrugging off the comment, looking away.

"I still got a month on my lease though…" Jasper said trying to make another excuse.

"Move in now, if it doesn't work you can renew your lease then?" As she looked down at the sitting people she noticed Steven's large smile. He knew exactly what she was trying, what she was going to do.

"I mean she is right." Pearl confidently said with a hand placed under her chin. Clearly thinking it all over. "How about we talk about this later?" Pearl nervously asked, to which everyone nodded. It was just a thought that now was planted in their minds.

"Alright move your ass Jasper!" Lapis yelled as she chugged her shot and then jumped at Jasper.

"God dammit Lapis you're going to spill things," Jasper said easing Lapis' landing. Her huge sausage link fingers and hand slowly letting her down fully on the couch.

"That's alright you'd still drink it off the floor." Lapis said laying across the huge girls lap, she slowly stuck out her tongue. All she got in return was a large sigh.

"Yeah… Peridot can you get your freak show off me." Jasper asked kindly to the girl just beside the couch. Looking up at her girlfriend and she got a face that made out, 'hey why am I with this damn person'. That thought brought a laugh out of her as they began playing dumb drinking games.

Wide gestures were getting expressed throughout the night and every single one of them smiled. Before noticing the clock it was already night and time for sleep. Lapis didn't drink that much, she avoided chugging most drinks and avoided drawing Jasper's attention. _That didn't mean that she didn't destroy Jasper though._ When that girl wanted to drink, she drank.

The party was dispersing with people being a bit quieter. Since the games were done and most the people weren't even there enough to make decisions, they decided to call it a wrap. Within minutes of cleaning up the mess around the room Lapis turned back to an interesting sight.

Looking over and Pearl was talking to a coat rack… Lapis just about lost it and wasn't even sure whether she should listen to it or not. Jasper was slowly moving her head in circles on the couch, while Steven was sitting in the chair struggling to keep his head up. Peridot was messing with her phone and Lapis wasn't all that sure whether she was really drunk or not. She was so focused on Jasper she didn't notice if the blonde drank that much. Trying to find out, she quickly walked over beside the girl, trying not to make too much noise.

"Hey Peri, how are you doing?"

"Fine Lapis," her voice was steady and it took a moment for her to look up from her phone. "Did you really expect me to get drunk tonight?"

"Maybe a little," Lapis chimed, quickly grabbing the side of her girlfriend and pulling her closer. Her eyes were a little more than heavy thanks to the night.

"You know that we both work tomorrow right? We need to get you out early so that you can go to your therapist." Peridot said as they slowly mingled around the house.

"Then after that Acai wants to go out for dinner, would you be able to come for that?" Lapis questioned, knowing that Peri had always been the type to keep herself busy.

"I'll make time if I have to, I'd love to come. We really should be getting to bed soon though, I'll kick these guys out tomorrow and once they're all gone I'll come down to the bakery." Peridot said as they gave another quick view around the house. With all the fun and games over, people were passing out.

"Yeah we can go to sleep just one thing I need your help with…" Lapis said eyeing Pearl who looked like she was about to fall onto the coat rack. Grabbing Peridot by her small hands, she brought the blonde over. "I'm going to need your help lifting Jasper's arm for me."

"Why?" Peridot's eyes widened thinking of the odd scenario.

"Hey Pearl, are you awake?" Lapis prodded the girl lightly, getting a bobble head response along with a few mumbled words. "Alright we'll it's time for you to go to sleep and we have a nice comfy bed for you." _This is the drunkest I've seen her, what the hell._ Lapis thought with a huge smirk on her face.

"Lapis what the hell are we doing?" Peridot questioned as they guided her over to the couch. "No… Don't you freaking dare." Peridot half whispered over, Lapis proceeded because she wasn't being stopped.

"Alright Pearl one second, just close your eyes." Lapis said, receiving a yawn from Pearl and then she obediently closed her eyes. "Hold her Peri."

Going over, she lightly pushed Jasper till she was fully laying down, the girl didn't resist all that much. _This is going too well…_ Jasper was out of it and when she slept after drinking she was worse than a log. Once she was finally fully laid over, they began putting Pearl beside her. In response Jasper laid her arm across the thin girl, causing Pearl's eyes to widen. As if she realized she was sleeping next to a grizzly bear.

"You're going to scar her for life Lapis!"

"She'll be fine… Jasper doesn't bite…" Lapis made sure they were both on their sides as well, just in case.

"This is screwed up…"

Quickly after they settled the two down completely, Lapis began to drag Peridot away. Constantly looking back to make sure the two of them would be alright, Pearl ended up turning around and snuggling back. _Great._

"Why would you do this to them?" Peridot questioned seeming more than uneasy.

"Because, one Jasper deserves it for not freaking calling me in weeks and Pearl will enjoy it. I mean Pearl can't be that drunk anyways." Lapis tried to say which only received a scoff from Peridot.

"She was talking to the damn coat rack thing!"

"I mean I could have done worse… We could have taken Pearl's and Jaspers shirt off and covered them with a blanket…" Lapis playfully said, giving her girlfriend a small nudge as they started going up the stairs.

"God dammit Lapis that's horrible!" Peridot couldn't help but laugh at how horrible the situation would have been.

"I just realized, we totally could have given someone a bed… With the spare room…"

"They'll be fine as you say." Peridot said back making air quotations that Lapis could barely see.

Before they laid down, Lapis let her hands run along Peridot's jawline. Her finger giving a soft caress as she guided the face to slowly look up at her. The shadows made it a guessing game with the fact that they were engulfed in darkness. Soon enough she found her way thanks to her hands.

They planted their lips together, feeling her light headedness making her a little off balance. This forced her hands to come down and tightly grasp the small blondes' shoulders. While Peridot had her hands firmly placed around Lapis' hips. The kiss was an eternity and an instantly over all at once and Lapis craved for each of those seconds back, so that she could do it again. She did love this girl and looked forward to having the rest of her life with her.

With that they went to bed and the next day Lapis remembered hearing one thing partly through her shift the next day.

"GOD DAMMIT LAPIS!" Jasper's voice rang through the bakery.


End file.
